Title: The Forgotten – Memories and Love

Chapter 19: The betrayal

Disclaimer: I don't own kkm

Written by: Lisse08

Xx Wolfram xX

Wolfram woke up in the next morning, to find that he was all alone to himself. He head ached as he tried to recall what happened last night. Putting his fingers up to his lips at where Yuuri had left his marks, he froze.

'I'm sorry, Wolfram. I'm really sorry…'

The familiar pang of worry hit him. He turned around in search of the person who had stolen his first kiss. But he was nowhere to be found. He felt his heart torn into pieces as he reached out his hands for bed sheet beside him which was cold to his touch.

'Yuuri, are you going back to your words again?'

Xx Yuuri xX

Astonished, Yuuri was unable to respond. He saw them. All those memories that didn't belong to him, but at the same time, they are his. He could not bring himself to approve what he himself had done to Wolfram.

'Did I really do that? Did I fall in love with him?'

Xx Wolfram xX

Despite his injuries that hadn't heal, he dragged his weary self up from the bed and went out the chamber. "Yuuri…" His minds were all set on finding the king. Not until he got the words out from his king's mouth, he refused to believe these. 'Just like four years ago, I refused to believe that you broke the engagement, isn't it?' Forbidden tears were forming in his eyes as he carried on his walk. "His bedroom… I must find him."

Xx Yuuri xX

'This is… not me!!' Yuuri exclaimed in his mind.

From a far distance, he saw himself rose from the bed. He smiled, looking at the blonde who was sleeping soundly in his bed. He could not figure out what he was thinking. Putting his hand onto the blonde's forehead, he skillfully released his maryoku. He stopped when Wolfram stirred a little in his sleep. Softly, he edged down towards Wolfram, wanting to…

His eyes flickered in shock as he caught the reflection of himself on the mirror. Alarm wrote large on his face. He couldn't react for a while. Mixed feelings filled his heart. Part of him wanted to ignore and follow his heart, but the other part of him, the unwanted part, wished to decline. Wolfram is beautiful. He likes him. But it didn't change the fact that Wolfram is a guy. 'This…'

He continued to stare at the mirror. Seeing this… The image of himself kissing a guy was… He squirmed and closed his eyes, refusing to think of the word.

'I'm sorry, Wolfram. I'm really sorry…'

He whispered softly into the blonde's ear and got out from the bed. He gently closed the door behind him.

'What the hell…?'

Xx Wolfram xX

Wolfram stumbled until he came to the king's chamber. Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the chamber.

'Open the door, Yuuri…'

He wanted to shout out the words as he usually would, but he could not bring out any energy to do so.

"Yuuri." He choked.

The door was opened swiftly seconds later to reveal the king, who was rubbing his eyes. He stopped as Wolfram collapsed into the room. Panicked, Yuuri caught hold of him in his arms.

"Wolfram, you should be lying in your bed. Why are you here?" Yuuri asked as he settled the prince onto the nearest cushion.

Opening one eyes and inhaling slightly, Wolfram gazed towards Yuuri's face.

"Why are you here?" Wolfram sent the same question back to him.

Yuuri was taken aback by the question. He blinked for awhile before his gaze was shifted away from Wolfram's. Wolfram felt his heart sank into the bottom.

"I… I was tired, so, I'm back."

"You were sleeping in my bed last night. Why do you need to waste your energy to come back here if you're tired?" Wolfram questioned.

Yuuri did not answer his question. After a few moments, he voiced.

"Wolfram, I'm confused."

"About what?"

"My feelings for you." Wolfram winced. He should have known.

"Sorry?" Yuuri finally looked up into his eyes, but Wolfram however, had some difficulty trying to keep his gaze steady.

"I wasn't sure of it."

"But you said last night that you did."

"Yeah, I did. I did feel something for you. Some special feelings of love, I did." Yuuri added quickly after seeing Wolfram's expression changed. "But it's just that, because I never fall in love with anyone before, and this is my first, I wasn't sure if this is what you called 'love'."

"What are you talking about?" Wolfram demanded. His heart was pounding so hard. This was not what he wanted.

"As I said before, I was totally against gay. It's not accepted in my world. I know all these years; I held some feelings for you. I felt like protecting you when you're weak, I felt angry and jealous when I saw your eyes were on others, but…" Closing his eyes, Wolfram bit back his tears, listening to Yuuri's words flowing into his ears.

"Is this really love?" That added another stab to his heart.

"I know it sounded crazy, but until I make sure that it is love… I don't want to disappoint you in future… I… I need some time…" It was so hard to breathe again. Yuuri was rejecting again. The same thing as what he had done four years ago… He let his vision return, looking at the double black in front of him. He made his voice sounded as steady as he could.

"And how will you make sure that it is love? Until you fall in love with a girl?"

"No…"

Yuuri inhaled and took in a deep breath.

"Could you wait until I sort out my feelings?"

Physical injuries were nothing compared to this. He felt his visions blurred as tears escaped easily.

"So, you're going to push me away after what you did last night?" He clenched his fist until his knuckles turned white.

"Wolf, I'm only asking you to give me some time for adjustment. I'm not pushing you away."

"YET!" Wolfram added for him. Yuuri cringed at his sudden outburst. "You never changed, Yuuri. You're always like this. Did you know how much pain you put me through all these years?"

"Wolf…"

"Enough. I had had enough." Wolfram rose up from his seat. His hands shaking slightly as he tried to control them. "I will give you the time… Until then, we should just… stay away from each other."

Xx Yuuri xX

"I will give you the time… Until then, we should just… stay away from each other."

He saw himself pulling out from his own seat too as Wolfram said so. He could feel everything clearly, what he himself was feeling at that time. He was trembling too. He was panicking, he was worrying, and he was scared, of losing Wolfram.

"No, Wolf. We don't need to stay away from each other. I really like you." Yuuri had grabbed onto his fine hand. He still had not forgotten that Wolfram was injured.

"Not 'love'?" Wolfram turned. He silenced. What am I doing?? Answer him yes! Say you love him, Wimp!

"Yuuri, please, don't disappoint me like last time again."

Yuuri saw the perplexed look on his own face, trying to absorb what Wolfram meant by 'last time'. He turned up again and watched helplessly as Wolfram stepped through the threshold of his chamber, disappearing from his sight.

"NO. NOOO! I don't believe this!" Yuuri shouted as he held onto his head, salty tears in his eyes.

"What are you doing? Why can't you give him your answer? I can't believe you hurt him again!"

Xx Wolfram xX

It's been a week since that kiss. Wolfram had slowly recovered from his wounds on his arm and body, but not his heart. Yuuri still had not given him an answer. Wolfram was losing hope on him.

'What are you thinking? This is Yuuri, the Yuuri who always refuse me, the one who hate gay. I should never expect anything from him…'

Wolfram had been avoiding being alone with Yuuri whenever possible. It only reminded him how Yuuri had kissed him that night and hurt him the next day. He could see Yuuri looking at him with a mixture of care and apology, but is there any love left in him for Wolfram? Had he figured out his feelings? What was his answer?

Wolfram knew. His reason for avoiding Yuuri was because it was he himself who was afraid of the answer. He dreaded that Yuuri would do the same thing again.

"I'm sorry, Wolfram. If this is really the past, I will not slap you again."

He felt as if he had been hit in the stomach. He shut his eyes tight, intending to form an imaginary barrier against the pain that was throbbing in his head at the same time, which failed.

"Yuuri, how dare you cheat behind me? Dancing with a girl?"

"She is a child,…"

The familiar numbness hit him lightly. 'I don't need these anymore… For now, I just hope that Yuuri… please don't hurt me again.'

Xx Yuuri xX

'Come on!!!' He could feel steam coming out from his ear. He was really frustrated with himself for the first time in his life. He groped everywhere in his memories. He just could not find anything about him giving the answer that Wolfram wanted. He never tried to approach Wolfram ever since that day. Instead, he was avoiding him! Just like what Wolfram did.

Even until the day when Tesca came with the proposal, Wolfram was still refusing to be alone with him.

What am I doing?

Another image flew through him. He grabbed and peered into it. It was serene scenery with river and jungle around him. He was lying comfortably on the grass field. He felt like screaming out when he saw this, but his eyes widened again when he heard what he himself was thinking.

'Are you going to accept him?

I'm sorry, for running away from you at this moment, but I couldn't bear it when you're avoiding me. My heart hurts so much when my thoughts lingered on the possibilities that you will choose to marry Tesca… I wanted to calm myself down. I don't want to know what kind of decision you're going to make…

He gazed upon the blue calm sky.

The stupidest thing is why can't I just go and tell you to stay back for me?'

'I had figured. I don't care about it anymore, Wolf. I missed you terribly until I could no longer reason with myself. As long as I want to be with you, boy or girl doesn't matter to me. I only want you.'

"Yuuri, please, don't disappoint me like last time again."

'Though… What do you meant by this? What had I done last time?'

"I always wondered, why are you so insisting on calling me 'heika' instead of 'Yuuri'?"

Wolfram looked at the black raven for a few minutes. He shook his head and a smile plastered on his face. It was a sad smile.

"You'll know why one day."

…

"Get some sleep, wimp. I'm tired." Wolfram said.

"Don't call me a wimp."

…

"Get back to sleep, wimp. I'm fine."

"This is the second time I heard that word."

…

"Yuuri?" He whispered.

"And this is the only time when I heard you call me by my name." Yuuri laughed. Wolfram put his hand onto the arm, but stopped by Yuuri. Instead, Yuuri had pulled Wolfram closer towards him.

…

'That was the only time when I heard Wolf calling me by my name and wimp. From that day onwards, he never addressed me like that again.'

"Who's this someone? Ah, is it… Wolfram's girlfriend?" Yuuri tried to lighten the mood but it seemed to have a reverse effect.

"Not girlfriend. He's my fiancé…"

…

"And, where is he now?" Yuuri said tentatively. Wolfram looked up into the black onyx eyes.

"He had broken off our engagement a year ago, and he doesn't remember anything about it."

…

His mind was working fast.

'Is it possible that…'

His heartbeat increased as he tried to put two and two together.

'… the fiancé is me?? But no, back then, I was sure I never met Wolfram before. When he said a year ago, that time, I had just arrived in Shin Makoku. How can it be? There's no way that we were engaged. There's no way!'

He let his memories wandered a bit further back to a year ago. He remembered Wolfram had not attended the dinner that night when he first came. When he did appear, he was staring at him, with those expressions that he could not apprehend. He had fainted right at the spot.

If he was Wolfram's fiancé and he truly had forgotten about it… then it would definitely explain his shock, his sadness, his words, everything.

'Am I really your fiancé?'

Yuuri packed up everything hastily, stuffing all the bags onto Ao. Within minutes, he was riding back towards the castle.

'I must talk with you.'

Xx Wolfram xX

"Where do you want to go?" Gwendal eyed him suspiciously.

"Just going to the town, I will be staying in the hotel overnight." Wolfram said.

"You do remember that Prince Tesca is coming tomorrow, don't you?"

"Yes, brother. That's why I want to be alone tonight. I need to come up with a decision."

Gwendal's eyes softened. Wolfram thought he saw his eyes became watery. He hastily threw his gaze away from his brother.

"If you don't like it, you can just reject him, Wolfram. You don't have to force yourself."

"No, I mean, he's a gentleman, he's good." He took in a deep breath before turning back to face him. "I might accept him."

Gwendal seemed to be taken aback by this. However, he said nothing but sighed.

"You have my permission. Make sure you're back before sun rise."

"Thank you." Wolfram bowed.

"Wolfram."

"Yes?"

"Be sure you choose the choice that makes you happy." Wolfram looked at his brother before letting his lips curled up. It was a fake smile, where everything that left behind the smile, were tears.

"I will, brother."

With that, he strode out the chamber.

Xx Yuuri xX

"What do you mean by he's gone??" Yuuri demanded as he slammed his fist onto the table, ignoring Gwendal's questioning eyes.

"He will be back tomorrow, whatever you want to say, you can leave it till tomorrow." Gwendal said.

"But tomorrow, Tesca is coming."

"That's why Wolfram left, Heika. He said he needs to be alone."

"Can I know where he is?"

"My apologies, heika. I don't know where he had gone."

"Fine."

Yuuri pivoted and stormed out the room.

'I'll get to you tomorrow before Tesca do, Wolfram. There's no way I'll give you up.'

Had he known that upon waking up the next day, he will no longer be himself, he would have ramped down the town for the blonde, but he did not…

A/N Chapter 20… I'll release you

Next chap will explain a few scenes from Wolfram's POV, about what happened in chapter 5 and 7, although I'm sure that most of you should have known what happened back then.