A/N: First of all, I'd like to thank SerenityDenied for being my loffly beta x3! You know you love her too.
Second, I'd like to apologize for the long wait. I was being a lazy bum and I deserve to be punished. (Not in the face! ;-;)
And last... Enjoy please! Major twists ahead:D
Riku gently ran his fingers through Sora's hair, staring at the cracked wooden floor. He said nothing for the last two minutes, and Sora was starting to become nervous.
"You think?" The artist finally murmured, hands still buried in the chocolaty spikes.
"I wish I could tell you more than that, but it's the first time I even have these kinds of feelings Riku." Sora replied quietly, feet pressed tightly to the chest.
Riku allowed a tiny smile to creep to his lips. "First time…" He sighed, leaning his forehead against Sora's head. "Don't let me disappoint you then…"
"Disappoint me?" Sora tried to look up, toes curling with excitement.
"Do things that upset you in general… Tell me when I do something that makes you feel uncomfortable." Riku explained, gently kissing the top of Sora's head.
"Why would you do that..?" Sora whispered, hesitantly taking Riku's hand in his own.
"By mistake…" Riku explained, squeezing Sora's hand. "See, now that I actually have someone to really take care of"
"What?" Sora blinked, now looking up at Riku with a pair of curious eyes.
"Now that we're a couple…" Riku snickered.
"We are?" Sora frowned, lacing his fingers with Riku's.
"Unless you don't want me as a boyfriend." Riku hummed, letting his thumb trace tiny circles over the back of his hand.
Sora's mouth fell open as the boy cautiously eyed Riku.
"You mean… Us, couple… You like me too?" He finally managed to blurt, blinking a few times.
"Mmhm." Riku replied easily, his body tense with the excitement he tried his best to contain.
"Wow I… I'd like that." Sora nodded, looking sideways momentarily before hugging the older artist as close as he could.
"Me too.." Riku let out a tiny chuckle before biting his lip and allowing himself to shiver in Sora's arms.
Sora hunched his shoulders and looked sideways before stretching himself up and pecking Riku's lips shyly, fingers squeezing the fabric of the artist's shirt.
The elder wrapped his arms tightly around Sora's lithe form, kissing his forehead and humming quietly. "You know… I almost forgot about Kairi's drawing…" He whispered, forcing himself to relax (not that it was too hard in his current state. Sora just possessed this aura that calmed Riku down).
"Oh yeah.." Sora frowned, leaning back in Riku's arms so he could take the money out of his giant pocket, making the coins clash together in a faint metallic noise.
"Wait. Let me show you the drawing first." Riku snickered and reluctantly let go of Sora, reaching for the rolled drawing inside the long plastic container and handing it over to him.
The brunette nodded and returned the money to his pocket, easily removing the cap and pulling the drawing out.
After a minute of studying the drawing, Sora slumped back on his butt and placed it inside its container. "I like it." He nodded, a bright grin stretching across his face.
"Well… Good then. Tell Kairi it was a pleasure drawing her." Riku snickered and ruffled Sora's hair, leaning back on his hands.
Sora chuckled and settled back over Riku's chest, closing his eyes and taking several deep breathes in. "…Thanks." He murmured, shifting into a more comfortable position.
Riku cocked a brow as he let his hand linger over Sora's arm, fingers tracing over the length, adoring the soft skin they found there. "What for?" He hummed, sounding rather amused.
"Just that… Well… It might sound really sappy and lame, but I like my life better now." The brunette sighed, looking at the ocean in front of them through half lidded eyes. "I know you usually say it in cheap romance novels but… When you stop and really think about it, you realize that a lot of things in me sort of changed… I started noticing the beauty in little things like sunsets and the sea… And gestures that people make." He concluded, closing his eyes and moving his arms in a loop around Riku.
"I'm glad I serve as such a great teacher to you, then." Riku chuckled, kissing the top of Sora's head with a smile.
Sora sighed softly and stretched his head up, tilting his head sideways and offering Riku's chin a tiny kiss. "Thanks…"
"You're welcome." Riku swallowed quietly, leaning his forehead against the shorter male's with a quiet hum.
It was a great and terrifying feeling that washed over Riku, as if you were held breathless just underneath the surface, with the air you needed so badly a mere inch away, but with a border blocking you from it.
And now that ice was broken and you were free to grasp that great freedom and fill your lungs with fresh, crispy air.
"Sora…" The older male murmured quietly, squeezing Sora's form closer as his eyes remained tightly shut.
"Mm?" Came a quiet response from the brunette as he buried his petite head in the joint of Riku's neck, expression calm and blissful.
"I…" Riku paused then and took a deep breath in, maneuvering himself so Sora was now resting on his lap. "I'm happy." He finally blurted, his words followed by a tiny laugh. "I really am, you know?"
"Now I do…" Sora chuckled, meshing the back of Riku's shirt with a quiet hum, letting his fingers abuse the light fabric.
"And… It might sound a bit crazy… I'm terrified at the same time." He whispered, biting his bottom lip slightly. "I've been independent for quite a while, with no one to pay attention to but myself and my works. The solitude didn't really bother me until… Until I met you, actually." He paused, taking a few deep breathes in. "I'm scared, Sora… That I wouldn't be able to meet your expectations. Now that I know about your feelings, I'm scared that you won't find me as attractive, that your first impression that drew you would vanish as soon as you find out about my flaws. I can be a real jerk sometimes, not around you, but I assure you I can." He murmured, cradling the boy in his arms.
"Riku…" Sora smiled gently, eyes remaining close as he laced his fingers in Riku's hair. "Talk."
Riku swallowed and nodded briefly, forming the words in his mind. "When I was younger… I used to have a friend, a girl-friend, I had this crush on her… You know, a puppy-love sort of thing, but I never got to tell her that. I was too cocky and arrogant, and thought that showing feelings like that was a weakness. When she was little she used to live in a desert city far from here, so when she arrived to the place I moved to, she didn't know how to swim… I taught her. That's how our friendship began." He murmured, pressing his cheek against Sora's head.
"Her name was Namine, and she had the exact same color as your eyes… The most perfect shade of ultra-marine you could imagine. The warmest shade of blue."
Riku took a deep breath then and swallowed. "We used to go to an art class together after school at the local community center. She would usually work with colors; she hated monotone drawings… she said they were boring and lifeless. I mostly did sketches, rarely did I use colors. Anyway… A year ago, we planned on moving here together and going to the same college, with art as a major. But… She went blind. I don't really know what happened, but she somehow got shards of glass stuck in her eyes. The damage was so bad the doctor's couldn't save her eyesight so… She urged me to move here on my own, telling me that I had a future waiting and that she shouldn't be a burden. I agreed because she told me she would call and stay in contact… But she never did call, and the number of her new cell phone she gave me was invalid. Whenever I would call her, her mother would say she was busy or out with friends… Or that she just couldn't talk." He whispered, hunching his shoulders.
"After that, I started using colors more, reading books about artists and techniques in the library and practicing it at home… Sora, do you remember that picture of a girl in the red sheets?" He sighed, squeezing Sora's sides gently.
Sora nodded quietly, eyes wide with silent shock as he listened to Riku's words.
"That was her. She asked me to draw her like that once… Naked, but still covered. She never did let me reach her completely… Always left me longing for more… She probably knew about my attraction to her, but she kept me waiting." Riku chuckled and shook his head. "I'm sorry, did I scare you? It's okay… She may be important to me, but she's no you Sora." Riku smiled softly, squeezing his eyes shut.
Sora let a small sound and curled closer, clinging tightly to Riku. It was… Hard to digest really. Riku's past, that is. He hadn't expected the boy to have any real hardships in his life… Mostly because Sora himself never really had any. It made him admire the young artist even more.
Riku was everything Sora wished he could be, really…
"So… I was scared I would let you down… Like I let her." The silver haired teen finally sighed, opening his eyes and pressing a kiss to Sora's head.
"It's the same here, then…" Sora murmured softly, stretching his head up and kissing Riku's temple. "You're the first one I ever got to… Well… Love." Sora sighed. "I don't know what you do that's wrong. I'm a rookie when it comes to the politics of Love, Riku." He chuckled, pecking the elder's ear. "So please forgive me if I'm being too cheesy and lame, or annoyingly inexperienced."
Riku bit his lip and snickered quietly, relaxing back and taking a few deep breathes in. "If that's what you really wish for…"
"And… Riku… Someday… Could you draw me naked too? When we get closer." Sora chuckled quietly, aquamarine eyes finally meeting bright teal ones.
It was a late afternoon hour as Riku idly counted the bills, sitting in the very same coffee house he painted the drawings for earlier that day.
Soon after the small confession, Sora left him for the favor of helping his mother clean the house, so the older male was left alone with nothing to do but draw.
So he did. And by five pm he had a series of drawings for the small coffee shop.
"Would you like some more tea, sir?" The waitress offered, holding a black tray in her hand and smiling politely at him..
"Spearmint ice tea and a plain bagel, please." Riku nodded once, placing the money in his wallet and relaxing back in his chair.
"Hey… Isn't that Sora's friend from the beach?" A brunette girl gasped, blinking in Riku's direction. "That's him!" She squeaked, quickly making her way from the counter to Riku's table..
"Hey!" She grinned, waving her hand at Riku and taking another bite of the cookie she was eating. "I'm Selphie, Sora's friend! Remember me?" She grinned, offering her hand for a friendly shake.
"Mm… The monkey?" Riku chuckled, referring to the game they played and shaking Selphie's hand briefly. "Yeah, I remember." He smiled, leaning with his elbows on the wooden table.
"Heey… That was not funny." The girl huffed, barely resisting the urge to stick her tongue out at Riku.
"I'm sorry… Didn't mean to offend you or anything." Riku shook his head with a snicker. "Sit." He offered, gesturing at the chair across him and closing his eyes with a sigh.
"You know, I heard from Kairi that Sora got to spend the night at your place. That's really neat!" She chirped, shoving the final piece of her oatmeal cookie inside her mouth. "She said he sounded really happy after he returned home, too."
"Really?" Riku hummed, closing his eyes and snickering. "Well… You could say it's the same over here. We had a great time." Riku murmured, not even bothering enough to hide that delicate blush spreading over his cheeks.
Selphie giggled and poked Riku's cheek. "I'm really glad you and Sora got to meet each other. I mean… Sora was happy and fun and all that before, but now it seems as if he really is enjoying himself… And he tries really hard to do his best at anything." She sighed, propping her chin on top of her palms.
Riku kept quiet for a long moment, smiling to himself and shaking his head briefly. "I'm glad." He said finally, raising his gaze to meet Selphie's.
The girl nodded once before looking at the clock. "Oh! I gotta go! My shift starts in a few minutes and I have to get dressed!" She announced, jumping up and waving Riku goodbye before dashing back into the kitchen so she could change into her waitress clothes.
Riku sighed. Sora was happy… It was good, right? And he also told him about Namine… It seemed as if he wasn't making any real mistakes but.. He was still scared that he would screw something up.
Riku was not good at dealing with broken hearts..at all.
Sora rolled on his stomach and sighed, poking his pillow with his finger repeatedly.
Riku… Riku…
Namine.
He wasn't frustrated with the thought that he wasn't Riku's first love… Not really. He just had a hard time processing Riku's confession a few hours earlier; and the more he thought about it, the more cruel it seemed.
The brunette huffed and squeezed his eyes shut. If only he met Riku earlier… If only he could be there for him when Namine lost her sight and gave up on her future, and still coaxed Riku into not giving up on his.
Then again… If he actually was there, he would probably just be friends with Riku, because the other male would be in love with Namine… Sora quickly chased that thought away and shook his head. It was a low thought, and Sora shouldn't be pondering about such trivial 'what if's, right? He couldn't help it though… Couldn't help but wonder whom Riku would choose.
And deep down inside, he wished it would've been him.
Riku hung his head low as he pressed his cell phone to his ear, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath in.
"Hey…" He murmured quietly, a small smile creeping on his lips as Sora greeted him with a sleepy voice. "Hope it's not too late… I was having trouble falling asleep." Riku sighed and pressed his forehead against the couch's arm set.
"It's okay…" Sora shook his head and let out a tiny yawn.
Riku's smile widened. "You sound cute, all sleepy like that…"
Sora chuckled and curled further in his blanket. "Mmpuu… That's because I'm feeling snuggly." He purred, diving under the covers and rubbing his nose.
"Heh, talk about bad timing… Wish I was there to get rid of that snuggling-itch." Riku hummed, sounding rather amused.
Sora giggled sleepily and shifted. "Well, you can take of that tomorrow, right?" He hummed, swallowing another yawn.
"Yeah, you bet I can." Riku answered with a soft chuckle. "Do you want to meet at the coffee house? The one Selphie works in. I'll buy you a drink, my treat." He sighed and flipped back on his own bed, running a hand through his hair. "Speaking of which… What is your favorite drink anyway?"
"Passionflower smoothie. You?" Sora smiled wearily and scratched his knee before popping his head back up from the blanket. It was getting too hot and stuffy inside.
"Iced tea and latte." Riku offered back, placing his free hand behind his head and closing his eyes.
"Hey… Riku? What was Namine's favorite drink?" Sora swallowed quietly, feeling quite uncomfortable about asking, but then again… He did want to know more about the girl.
"Namine liked this weird oriental drink called salep. It's made of cornflour, hot milk and some spices… Really sweet and thick." Riku sighed and turned his head. "She had this tendency of liking weird things." He smiled, shrugging once. "She used to have a collection of marbles she was very proud of." He chuckled.
Sora smiled and took a deep breath in. "What does she look like, Riku?"
"Namine… Fair blonde hair… Pretty short, it only reached her shouderblades… Blue eyes… She was very pale and skinny, too." Riku sighed and opened his eyes again.
"She was very gentle… And never really rushed into anything, and when she made mistakes or hurt someone, she would feel bad for days." He hunched his shoulders and pursed his lips, wiping his dry eyes with his hand and sighing.
Sora kept quiet for a long moment. It was quite evident that Riku was still hurt and trying to get over the fact that Namine and him would most likely never be together again, and it hurt quite bad knowing that she was more important to Riku than him… But what hurt Sora the most was the fact that Riku was hurt, and he wasn't showing it.
Riku took a shaky breath in. "She really liked the color of white, too… And she believed in angels… Her favorite animal was sheep, though she thought fish were the ultimate pet…" He whispered, swallowing several times. "She liked orchids and roses, and we would always visit the botanic garden once a year… At spring… When all her favorite flowers bloomed…" Riku panted, his voice weak and cracked.
Sora bit his lip and curled. "Riku…" Was he crying?
Sora only got a strangled whimper as a response.
The brunette swallowed and pressed his cheek against the pillow. "Riku…" He sniffed quietly. "Don't cry…" He would say that it wasn't that horrible… But honestly, it was. Having your love and best friend turn her back on you and never talk to you again… It was horrible, like tearing a chunk of your heart and then watching it slowly shatter in front of your eyes, feeling the phantom pain last for years after. And the worst part was that you knew they did it for your own benefit. That if you stayed like that you wouldn't be able to proceed because you were bound to hold yourself back and not let yourself reach your ultimate potential.
"I… I'm sorry…" Riku swallowed, voice still very much unstable. "I'm… Sorry, you don't need to get this from me, Sora…" He let a strained whisper, his breath trembling with pain and tears.
"Riku…" Sora took a deep breath in and squeezed his phone between his hands. "I'm coming over". And before the older teen had a chance to reply, Sora already hung up and turned his phone off, getting quickly out of bed and getting dressed, leaving his parents a note in case he would stay over at Riku's, which was very highly possible, and climbing out of his window.
Sora quietly knocked on Riku's door, blessing God the way to Riku's house wasn't too complicated. He shifted his weight from one leg to another and sighed. He knew Riku wouldn't be pleased but… He had to be there for him. After all, he had no one else but Sora…
A few moments later, the silver haired male opened the door, wearing only a pair of boxers and an oversized sleeping shirt. "You're crazy, you know that?" He murmured hoarsely, casting Sora a wet and weary look.
"People do crazy things when they're in love…" Sora answered quietly and invited himself in, swallowing thickly and moving to hug the older male. "I'm sorry…"
"Don't be." Riku shook his head and closed the door behind them, gently circling his arms around Sora's form. "I know it's bad but… I'm happy you came." He admitted, leaning against Sora and softly kissed his cheek. "It's easier when someone is around…"
Sora nodded and buried his face in Riku's neck, breathing in deeply and letting his body relax under the effect of Riku's alluring smell. It had some narcotic effect on Sora, addicting and reassuring. "Is it okay if I stay over?" He asked carefully, caressing Riku's head and kissing his shoulder.
Riku nodded back and squeezed Sora's form gently. "Will it be okay if we go to my bed this time? I'm sorry but… Setting the couch and mattress again…" He sighed, hanging his head low.
"It's okay." Sora reassured with a tiny smile, leaning back and cupping both of Riku's cheeks. "We can sleep in your bed."
Riku exhaled and leaned into Sora's touch, casting him a long, somewhat warm look. "Thanks…"
"It's nothing. I'm here for you, after all." Sora chuckled quietly, tracing his thumbs over Riku's cheekbones, making the elder close his eyes and purr with contentment. "Let me get you something to sleep in then…" The silver haired teen murmured, leaning in for a tiny kiss, his lips salty with dried tears.
Sora nodded and took Riku's hand in his own, following him into the bed room as the older teen decided upon what should Sora wear.
The brunette sighed and took the grey shirt from Riku, quickly pulling it on and tugging his pants down so he remained only in his boxers and shirt.
Not bothering to pick up the discarded clothes, Riku dragged Sora back to bed, hugging him tightly and dragging a deep breath in. "Sora…" He murmured hoarsely, burying the face in the crook of the brunette's neck.
"It's okay… I'm here. it's… It's okay if you want to cry now…" Sora reassured softly, swallowing and dragging a few deep breaths in. Riku was shaken, beaten, trembling and broken. The least he could do was to help him get all the pain and bitterness out.
The silver haired male let a shaky breath out. "It's spilled milk, Sora… There is no use in crying over it." He whispered painfully, kissing the brunette's neck with cracked lips.
"So?" Sora replied quietly, drawing several breaths in. Sora's never been in such a situation before, where he wasn't the one being consoled, wasn't the one whose tears were being soothed and wiped away… But he would hold back that selfish fear and embrace Riku, let him get all that bitter poison out, be the pair of strong arms he had missed for so damn long…
The artist let a choked sob and pressed close against the brunette's body, needing that comfort and warmth he supplied… And sooner than either of them would notice, tears started flowing over Riku's cheeks like rivers. Big, warm, salty tears that left glistering trails over slightly reddened cheeks. Riku didn't make a sound. He didn't need to. All was said and done, and now he just needed to accept the fact and wash the pain away with a good cry, so he could face Sora later, knowing that his smile was genuine, no hidden pain or whatnot.
Sora licked his lips and took a deep breath in. Somewhere along the road he picked up on a tune his mother used to sing to him when he was little, to calm him down and cheer him up. She said it was a song she used to hear when she went to the church on Sundays with her grandmother, the only religious person there was in Sora's family.
Slowly, Sora's voice became steadier, pouring the sweet tunes in Riku's ears and letting them linger for a moment before the finally sank in, helping Riku mend another piece of his broken heart with each fragment of a melody.
Finally, Riku wiped his eyes and lifted up so he could kiss Sora's cheek, sniffing and pressing his forehead against Sora's. "…Thanks." He whispered hoarsely, fingers reaching to intertwine with Sora's as he gently maneuvered himself into a more comfortable position.
"You're welcome…" Sora whispered back, clear blue eyes shimmering in the tiny moonbeams filtering through the thin fabric of the curtains.
Riku chuckled and cupped Sora's cheek, brushing his palm over the silky, baby-soft skin. "You're amazing… I never really open up to people because I think I'm better than them in one way or another… But you're just… A miracle." He whispered quietly, a warm, though somewhat sad smile gracing his lips.
Sora grinned back at him, blushing under the careful treatment of Riku's hands. He couldn't help himself… That tiny bashful giggle just escaped his lips as soon as he let his guard down!
"And… Sora?" The artist sighed quietly, voice dropping a few octaves to the point of a faint, airy whisper against the brunette's ear.
"Yeah?" The youth replied quietly as his cheeks were painted a most vivid shade of red again. Riku felt so close… So intimate… It was a wonderful feeling, really… To have someone make your heart beat like that by just gently speaking in your ear…
"I think I might be falling for you as well…"
...-wipes sweat off- Kweh x3