After dinner, I retreated to my chambers in hopes of finding the one quiet place in the Golden Reach. When I made it to my room, I silently shut and locked the solid cherry wood door behind myself. I leaned back against the cool wood and drew a deep breath to center myself.

Varro and Liamos most likely went to the Courtyard, where young avian girls would most likely be congregating and flirting in hopes of romance. Varro would bring a pretty girl back to his room and bed her, since he was the type to court without promise of relationship. He always had been; the gods had blessed him with stunning features and a body that even some of the Royal Flight couldn't obtain. Being nearly twenty-three and not having his pairbond yet dampened his reputation. Regardless, he never had a problem finding a companion. Girls flocked around him whenever he visited the market or made his rounds to the Courtyard.

Liamos, however, wouldn't even look at any of the hopeful girls. I knew exactly what he would do; he'd find a nice corner and sit down with his books and read until he was called in by Father. The young eagle was only fourteen, and while his instincts told him to find a mate, his interests remained with his books. No matter, avian girls his age still giggled in groups and cornered him when he visited.

Mother encouraged me to choose my pairbond a few months ago, but I didn't have a liking for males begging for my praise. It was almost creepy. 'You're nineteen, Rael. You need to find a young man as your suitor before they think you're not interested in men!' Gods, I loved having that conversation.

The problem is, although I am interested in men, none of the avians here caught my eye. Call me picky, but I'm looking for someone…different than them. Someone who knocks me off of my feet and makes my heart slam against my chest. A man who can enjoy the things that I do, who can understand my need to be alone at times, and isn't intimidated by me…

Oh well.

I glanced around my room to make sure that my Mother's crow-maiden had set my nightgown out. Across from the door, there was a large balcony overlooking the Courtyard and the lake just beyond. The Golden Reach was nestled in the side of a tall mountain, curving inwards to form a wide U-shape. The market, which was lively at any hour of the day, sat just inside the U. The townspeople's homes wrapped around the market, making the empire an oval in shape. At least, that's how it appeared when you flew over it.

I crossed the room to my overly-massive bed. The bed frame itself stood nearly as tall as I did; I had to hop onto the fluffy stuffed mattress. The frame was made of the same dark cherry wood as my door, as was my equally huge dresser and bed-table. Jewel-colored silks were draped from my walls, giving warmth to my chamber. Books were strewn across the bed-table from staying awake during the early hours of dawn, reading by candlelight. On top of the dresser was a rather large jewelry box that held all of my rings and bracelets, along with a letter from one of the suitors.

As soon as I hopped onto my bed, a knock clacked at my door. I sighed, pushed myself off of my resting place, and went to the door.

"Who is it?" I called, with one hand on the lock.

"Varro," his deep voice said softly, so not to wake the soon-to-be-sleeping parents, I guessed.

I pulled the latch open and walked back to my bed knowing that he would shut and lock it when he entered. He shut the door and locked it back. Varro kept his back to the door as I had, with his head down, his long dark hair shielding his face from me.

As I came to his side without making a sound, he exhaled sharply. I brought my hand up to his face and pushed his hair away from his eyes. There were tear streaks down his high cheekbones. His rich brown eyes glittered like diamonds, and just as beautifully.

"Nestling," I gasped. Varro never cried in front of anyone before. Even when he would get scolded by Father or get injured during his sword lessons, I had never seen a single tear taint his handsome face. I placed my hands on his hunched shoulders and he sniffled.

"What's wrong, Var?" I asked soothingly. My voice was smooth and even. He looked up to meet my eyes and I almost wish he hadn't. There was so much pain in his face that I nearly flinched. I steadied myself before I tried speaking again.

"Rael," he whispered. I nodded, waiting for him to explain.

"Are you hurting?" I asked. "Physically, I mean?"

He shook his head slowly. Now he seemed numb; the sharp pain from just a moment ago was absent from his eyes. Thank the gods, I thought.

"I…I can't do it," he stammered.

I searched his eyes for a clue. "You cannot do what, Nestling?"

"This…I can't. I won't."

I grabbed his hand in both of mine and brought him over to my bed. He stumbled along behind me and climbed onto my bed with me. His head still hung down, hiding himself as best as he could.

"Don't," I said as I pushed his hair back once again behind his ears. "Don't hide from me, Var."

"Rael," he said again. I wasn't sure how much longer he would be willing to talk to me if he didn't start now.

"What happened?" I patiently urged.

"I can't be," he whispered. It seemed like he was having an argument with himself, and I just happened to be sitting there beside him. What kind of internal conflict must he be having that would make him so…lost?

"Nestling," I whispered. I leaned up to wrap my arms around his chest to hug him tightly against myself. His arms didn't move for a moment, and I was scared that he'd deny the contact. But he slid his arms around my back in return, and pressed his forehead against mine.

"Now tell me, Var," I said gently. "What could have turned you here and made you so upset?"

Varro took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly.

"I can't be king."