Author's note: This is the last chapter of this style, all I have next after this is the bonus chapter of if-McGonagall-said-yes and then this fic is finished. (sobs) I hope you enjoy this chapter!
Chapter 9.
Dear Dori and Charlie,
I wonder if you could send a quick Howler to James to inform him that finding out the Slytherin password and giving it to the Ravenclaws the night before the big Quidditch match they are going to play against each other is not funny.
I had a most disturbed night, only matched by the following disturbed day in which many Slytherins walked around with noses double the size of their face, different coloured skin and other strange afflictions which meant they continually walked into things, made animal noises and tried to hex each other.
Putting everything right totally exhausted my magic store and the Quidditch match itself was so brutal my voice practically went from all the shouting I had to do. I think Slytherin were trying to get back at Ravenclaw for hexing them, or maybe they just like the sight of blood.
I totally blame your James for this and I sincerely hope he starts to grow up very soon.
Minerva
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Dear Dori and Charlie,
It's me again, I think I must be your most regular correspondent. Once again James has gotten into mischief though this time at least it is relatively mild. Perhaps you would remind him that charging people to use the toilets is not a good money-making scheme and is actually against school rules.
Thank you
Minerva
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Dear Dori and Charlie,
Just as the last owl leaves I have to write another! No wonder my hair is greying so prematurely. Just add onto that howler, that I am sure you are going to send James after reading my previous letter, that just because it doesn't specify charging for toilets on the school rules does not mean it is all right as it comes under rule 29 'money must not be made using undesirable methods' and also that arguing with a teacher gets you detention.
I hope you are well and your hands are not aching too much from replying to all these letters.
Minerva
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Dear Dori and Charlie,
I am very perturbed to note that a week has gone by since my last flurry of letters and yet James has not received a single howler or anything apart from a big hamper full of sweets. Surely even you have not been able to find excuses for his recent behaviour? Anyway, unfortunately that is not all I am writing about. I really would like you to send a howler this time as it is quite serious. James seems to need telling that setting off the intruder charms around the castle just to see everyone get evacuated is not amusing for students, teachers or parents. Even after his three months worth of detention he seems to feel that it was 'worth it' as I heard him telling Sirius.
I really don't know how to make him behave.
Minerva
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Dear Dori and Charlie,
A howler! At last! I thought you were going to ignore my requests for ever. It was nice to say James finally get properly told off though I didn't appreciate you telling him that you were only sending one because I told you to. He has been giving me dirty looks all day. It didn't stop him getting in to trouble though, another Howler is needed. This one to remind him that creating hex-a-Slytherin day gets him detention. I thought I would never get to the end of the queue of Slytherins outside my office all needing some form of counter charm. And I only got a percentage of them, each teacher got a certain amount of them as there were too many for poor Slughorn to deal with alone.
Severus Snape seemed to be the worst afflicted.
I'm still not convinced that I have the full story yet though.
Minerva
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Dear Dori and Charlie,
Okay, now I have the full story. I would like you to inform James (very loudly in front of lots of people preferably his friends) that bribing people to take part in hex a Slytherin day gets you even more detentions. I knew all of those people had some sort of reason for taking part, they can't all hate the Slytherins that much. Though thinking about my house's past history perhaps they can.
Minerva
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Dear Dori and Charlie,
Stealing professor Slughorn's prize potion stirrer and then asking someone to 'hold it while you do up your shoe' and then ruining off so that when Professor Slughorn pants around the corner it is a little first year holding it and looking guilty is not funny to Professor Slughorn, the unsuspecting first year or to me as I now have to give up my free time to monitor them in detention. And judging by recent behaviour they need monitoring.
It's nearly the end of the year thank goodness! Then I can hand him over to your care and try and recover my sanity in the month's summer break. I hope this last week goes fast!
Minerva
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Dear Dori and Charlie,
We are on the train so you will probably see your pest of a son before you receive this letter but when you do receive it please inform James that he and Sirius need to pay the damage done to the train, tossing Slytherins out of the window does neither them or the window very much good.
I hope you have a nice summer and…
Please try and install some sense into James over the summer. For my sake, if not the innocent public and students of Hogwarts.
Minerva