Espada Diaries
Chapter 2
Stark- Continued
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A/N- I have decided to continue Stark's diary for another chapter, since I know almost nothing about Barragan. The order of the diaries will be as follows:
1. Stark
2. Stark- continued
3. Halibel
4. Ulquiorra
5. Nnoitra
6. Grimmjow
7. Zomarri
8. Szayel
9. Aaroniero
10. Yammy
11. Nel
12. Luppi
13. Aizen
14. Tousen
15. Gin
16. Author's Diary :D
Hope you enjoy this (long) fanfic all the way through.
Thanks to everyone who reviewed and to my friend who gave me a lot of these excellent ideas. Yes, you know who you are.
-XxXxXxX-
June 24th
In the span of one week, Hueco Mundo has completely gone to hell.
I take back calling Zomarri anything close to sane. He and Nnoitra have done a panty-raid of all the Espada's rooms. They videotaped the whole experience, and showed it on Aizen's big screen TV in the meeting room.
When did he even get a big screen TV?
Anyhow, needless to say, they uncovered some rather interesting things within the depths of piles of underwear.
Is it normal to wear frilly man-thongs?
No, I thought not. Luppi does. The two pervert Espada uncovered these, made some rather strange faces, and flung them at one another.
Yes, they had a thong fight. They were discovered by an extremely pissed off Luppi halfway through, and they sonido'ed out of there as fast as possible.
Nnoitra had a particularly disturbing blue and purple man-thong on his head at the time, credit for that goes to an excellently directed fling by Zomarri.
Next, they managed to shake off tentacle man (?) and went straight to Grimmjow's room.
Of course, it was to be expected that they find Ulquiorra's underwear in there, but what else they found came as a shock to everybody who gave a shit.
They found a pair of Halibel's underwear stashed in the back of a drawer. Now, either someone has a dirty little secret, or Grimmjow and Ulquiorra have some strange fetishes.
Ulquiorra's room didn't contain anything of interest. His undies were black like his bleeding emo soul. I wonder if I could sneak some happy pills into his morning glass of orange juice...? The results would surely be... interesting.
Nah, can't be bothered to give a damn. Too lazy.
After that little incident, they moved on to the other rooms.
Barragan- Old geezer underwear. Typical.
Szayel- Pink pink and more pink. No shocker there.
Aaroniero- None? Man, that gave everyone the shivers.
Yammy- ENORMOUS gray thing. No idea how he wears it or if it's even classified as underwear.
Nel- Huggies. Honestly, somebody's gotta train the kid. Aizen's been cutting into our food money for diaper funds.
Halibel- White with red rocketships. Sort of strange but whatever.
Aizen- Furry undies. Looks like they're made of some sort of animal fur. Our mighty leader got some really strange looks for that...
Gin- As expected, he wears pastel pink, red heart print boxers. Maybe he's adopted this habit from Luppi? Who knows...
Quite frankly, who's perverted enough to care?
Tousen- He even has 'justice' printed on his underwear. No kidding. Dear god, what fucked-up leaders we have.
Nnoitra went into Zomarri's room secretly on his own, and discovered Mr. T print underwear. This makes me wonder about his behavior recently... he's been insisting on being called "Mr. Z" and says "I pity the fool" about a zillion times a day.
Of course, to get him back, Zomarri ventured into Nnoitra's doom chamber.
He came out badly beaten, without video evidence of anything and with his hair dyed yellow.
They made an attempt at raiding my room, but I just locked the door like a SMART ESPADA would do. The others were either too dim-witted or just plain didn't care.
I believe after the premiere of their extremely pointless film, they have gone into hiding.
Then again, wouldn't a Mr. T impersonator and a giant spoon stand out A LOT?
Who's idea was it anyway to have Nnoitra designed after a spoon?
Was our creator so idea-shot that he ventured into his kitchen, looking for character ideas and happened to pick up a spoon?
Oh yes, a spoon makes an absolutely perfect evil guy.
What's his purpose? Does Aizen eat his cheerios in the morning using him?
Spoon-man is absolutely the most pathetic excuse for a character I have ever seen.
Great, now I've led myself into a rant about utensil-based characters.
At least it's better than writing about the great panty-raid extraordinaire of Las Noches.
Great, now it even has it's own name. Pretty soon I'll come up with a theme song too.
Stupid imagination of mine.
...I swear though, Nnoitra will end up married to one of the kitchen forks.
And they will have little baby sporks.
Augh...the air of fuckwad-ness is starting to affect my brain. I have to go sleep this off. Maybe a long, 18-hour nap will cure me...
-Stark-
A/N- Again. Blame my friend and my morning-retartedness for this little monstrosity.
Reviews are much appreciated and constructive criticism is encouraged, as always.
Arigatou, once again.
-Sora-chan
P.S: No offence intended to Tite Kubo, of course.