Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any characters.

Summary: AH/OOC/EPOV: Edward struggles to determine whether or not he should tell his best friend, Bella, that he's in love with her before they graduate, or whether he should just give up on her altogether. However, she has a plan that'll make things very difficult for Edward.

Previously: Edward: Plan win Bella Swan's heart is now in place, because I can't not have her. Not now.

A/N: I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. I hope you guys find it okay. I'm nervous about nailing Edward and Bella's interactions with one another. My best friend is a guy, but i'm not in love with him so I can't really relate to this Edward. I hope that the emotions are convinicingly conveyed. Wow, trying saying that ten times fast. Also...you may have noticed, i've decided to give the chapters actual names!

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MASOCHIST

The school day moves along quickly because all I'm thinking about is Bella and imagining all the different ways in which I can love her and tell her I love her and make love to her and all the ways I can make her feel and make myself feel and it's all so overwhelming that Alice has to snap me out of my self-induced state of crazy several times during the day.

Tanya approaches me and i'm an asshole to her. I don't want to think about her and I admit, I feel bad about being mean to her but I can't focus with her in my face and offering to suck my dick to make me feel better. Jasper is sitting next to me at our usual table in the cafeteria, telling Alice he loves her. It makes me sick. That guy is whipped like you wouldn't believe. Rosalie and Emmett disappeared into a broom closet somewhere, so I look to James and Victoria. I don't know a more fucked up pair than them. They usually make me feel better about my own issues with my morale.

I've never really liked Victoria and James is a creep at the best of times. Really, I don't know why we tolerate them. James has been getting on my nerves lately, anyway and knowing that he was giving Bella shit over her virginity, or his belief it was now gone, was the final straw. Victoria is stretching out and pushing her fake tits up into his face but he's not paying her any attention; he's glaring at Bella, who's sitting beside me, legs tucked up underneath her, engrossed in Wuthering Heights. I know this shit because she reads that damn book all the time. Maybe I should read it. On second thoughts, no.

Bella looks up from her book then into my eyes and addresses me. "Hey, Edward?"

"Mhm?"

"Do you want to come over for dinner? Charlie's going to Seattle tonight and I don't really want to be alone," she asks.

"Yeah," I whisper, so my voice won't betray me. Truthfully, being alone with Bella intimidates me. It never turns out to be awkward, but there's always there's this nervous tension floating in the air, not that she's really aware of it. Since her little 'request', it's bound to be amplified.

"Okay. We can google hotels," she whispers in my ear, then giggles. I think she's having a little too much fun with all this and it kind of hurts. She doesn't know that i'm love with her though, so I guess she can't really be to blame.

"Bella," Alice chirps, breaking up our quiet exchange. "Have you got your prom dress yet?"

"You know I don't, Ali," Bella says.

"God, Bella!" Alice growls. Nothing gets her more fiesty than fashion not being respected or thought over. "We need to go shopping. This weekend!"

"Okay, whatever you say," Bella says, just to please Alice. People close to Alice learn pretty quickly just to shut up and give her what she wants. She's without a doubt the scariest small person I have ever encountered. "So Port Angeles, then?"

"No, Bella! Seattle!" Alice exclaims, then she's bouncing around on Jasper's lap. "You, me, Jaz and Edward can go on Saturday and stay the night? Get a nice hotel? Rose already has her dress."

"Um, yeah sure Al," Bella says then turns back to her book, while I wonder if these hotel encounters are going to become a regular thing.

"Hey Cullen," James calls. I look over at him and he gestures for me to stand up and walk with him. I tell Bella goodbye, then follow James across the cafeteria and out into the hall. He keeps walking until he finds an open classroom and then lets himself in.

"What's up?" I ask nonchalantly.

"I just want to discuss Bella," James says, then takes a seat at one of the desks. I stand in front of him and eye him suspiciously. Does he know how I feel about her?

"What about her?"

"Well you know, Vicky just isn't the right girl for me anymore," James says, sounding like a pedophile. Fuck I hate this guy even more than normal at the moment, if possible. Why on earth did I ever like him to begin with? When him and Victoria moved here, they just fell into our group of friends, no questions asked. It's fucked.

"So what? You want...Bella?"

"No. I just want to fuck her," James admits, then he lets out a laugh which sounds like some kind of retarted cackle. Fuck I hate this guy. He's not touching my Bella.

"You won't lay a fucking hand on her," I growl and James laughs again.

"I'll do what I want. What do you care anyway? She gave it up for that reservation fuck, so obviously she doesn't give a shit about her little best friend Eddie. Last I checked, you were busy fucking half the female population of Forks anyway."

"Well if you paid attention, you'd know she wasn't with that guy and she was with me," I said, without even thinking about it.

"That's bullshit and we both know it," James snarls. "You just want down her fucking pants, you practically drool over her. Well I bet you, I can bed her first and there's nothing you can do about it."

"First off, you dumb fuck, I don't need to make threats and shit to get Bella to sleep with me. Second, she wouldn't give you a second glance you greasy fuck. Thirdly, she already hates you," I growl at James. He smiles at me menacingly, before rising from his chair to stand in front of me.

"I guess we'll just have to see then," he says, then he saunters out of the classroom. It's ridiculous, really. Bella'd never want him, would she? Surely not.

All through the last period of the day, which I have with Bella, I fidget and growl and slam my book down. Bella rolls her eyes at me and rests one of her hands on my shoulder, lightly rubbing circles into it. She asks me what's wrong several times but I tell her it doesn't matter . I'm not worried about her wanting James, i'm just worried about how far he'll actually go to get what he wants. He's a determined mother fucker.

When the horrible day finally ends, Bella and I get in my car and drive over to hers. She's acting all funny, even once we're at hers so I sit down and switch on her plasma. She brings me over one of Charlie's beers and we sit down in front of some terrible sitcom, not speaking.

"What the fuck?" Bella growls breaking the silence, I give her a confused look and she growls at me again. "Why is everything weird? You were so angry after lunch and now you aren't talking to me."

"I just don't know what i'm meant to say," I admit.

"Okay fine. Let's just call this whole thing off," Bella pouts, then grabs the remote and flicks through the channels before turning the tv off altogether.

"I don't want to do that," I say and Bella growls at me again. "I just am worried about how this might change things between us."

"It's just sex, Edward. You do it all the time," she reminds me.

"But this is you. It won't be just sex," I say and I hope she doesn't pick up what I really mean by saying that. "I want to do it right for you, okay?"

"Okay...well...," Bella trails off. "Maybe we should just ease into it?"

"What do you mean?" I ask and eye her suspiciously.

"I mean, we should just loosen the physical boundaries...we're both seventeen, we're not children anymore...,"

"I don't follow you," I say and Bella leans forward, without speaking. I lean forward to meet her and her arms move to hold my sides. I can hear her breathing softly and then she closes her eyes and leans into me, her lips slightly pouted and it finally clicks what she wants to do. Shit, okay I can do this. If I can fuck girls whose name I don't even know, then I can kiss Bella Swan.

I move forward and gently press my lips to hers and she responds by moving her hands up to my hair and deepening the kiss. Our lips move together for what seems like years, then I feel her brush her tongue along my bottom lip. I open my lips and grant her access, then we're fighting eachother with our tongues for dominance. I let Bella take control and I move my arms around her waist and pull her into me, pouring almost a years worth of unrequited love into this simple kiss. Her lips are soft and plump and beautiful and I never, ever want to leave this place, but Bella pulls away slowly and I know I need to as well.

"Wow," I breathe, without really thinking.

"I know," she agrees, then she giggles. "God, we haven't made out since we were what fourteen?"

"Something like that," I mutter, but I remember exactly when it was and why. Bella wanted to learn french kissing.

Bella goes into the kitchen to make dinner and I sit on the couch, stumped. Fuck me. That kiss was hotter than all my other sexual experiences put together, so I take a moment to er...compose myself, then I walk into the kitchen and sit at Bella's small dining table.

Shortly thereafter, Bella places a plate with steak and vegetables in front of me. I work my way through the meal absent-mindedly and we make pointless conversation. We don't mention the kiss or future-fucking, which is kind of a relief because my brain's frazzled right now. Of course, with Bella, she's bound to bring it up sooner or later.

"Hey Edward?" Bella calls me out of my daze.

"Yeah?" I clear my throat, then look up at her.

"Are you...I mean...when did you last have sex?" She asks. Who asks those kind of questions? Shit. I've got to think about that one. Apart from Tanya sucking me off, i've had limited sexual contact these last few weeks. "Sorry, you don't have to answer if it's too personal."

"No...I was just thinking, not for a few weeks," I answer. "I actually don't think I want to until you and I..."

"You don't have to self-impose some kind of sexbargo for me," Bella laughs.

"No it's not that. I'd just prefer not to have had it too many places before you," I say bluntly, then regret the words that have just fallen out of my mouth. I'm such a fucking idiot sometimes. Bella gives me a strange look, then she bursts out laughing at my admission and then i'm laughing with her because she's so damn infectious and cute when she laughs.

"Um, do you want to google hotels now?" Bella asks timidly and I laugh at the idea of researching the place where i'll deflower my best friend. She leads me upstairs to her little bedroom and I sit down on her bed while she pulls her laptop over and sits down next to me. She opens it up and her web browser is already open, the web page "So, you want to lose your virginity?" loaded.

"Oh my god," Bella groans then she slams shut the computer. "I'm so embarrassed ," she cries and I wrap my arm around her shoulder and try to hold back the laughter, but my body is shaking so I know she can feel it. "Shut up, Edward! It isn't funny!" She hisses, but then she starts laughing along with me and we fall back onto the bed in fit of hysterics.

"It's a little funny," I joke and Bella slaps my arm and rolls away from me so she's facing the wall. "Oh come on, Bells," I laugh and I wrap my arm around her. She's not laughing anymore so I figure she's really pissed off. "It's okay, you don't need to be embarrassed. It's just me."

"That's exactly why i'm embarrassed ," she whispers. I wonder why she'd be embarrassed in front of me of all people but decide not to push her on it.

"Bells, it's alright," I sigh, then she moves so I can wrap my arm around her better.

"I'm scared," she whispers. "Of growing up and leaving Forks and my dad and i'm scared of not getting into Dartmouth." Despite her sometimes-cocky attitude, Bella really is insecure. She constantly worries she's not good enough and she's been this way for as long as I can remember. Maybe it's her parents divorce or that she has no siblings, or maybe it's because she's yet to find love, I'm not sure. All I can do is comfort her like I've done so many times before.

"It will all work out," I promise and then I can feel Bella relaxing. She closes her eyes and leans into my chest and then before I know it, she's asleep. I pull her closer to me and breathe in her scent just like the pervert I am, before carefully pulling her blanket up and over her sleeping body.

Then, as I'm standing up and about leave, Bella whimpers from behind me. "Edward, stay," she cries and I turn around expecting her to be staring at me with needy eyes, but when I do turn around she's asleep still. She thrashes around in her bed, moaning and whimpering. "Please, don't leave me," she cries again. Even if it's only her subconscious talking, I move back over to the bed and slide in next to her. She purrs, then wraps her arm around me and starts to snore lightly.

I pull her even closer to me and breathe in her delicious scent. What can I say? I'm a masochist.

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A/N: God. Work tomorrow. I hate when the weekend ends. That also means I wont have a lot of time to update and it's busy coming up to summer/christmas, but i'll do my best to update as often as possible. I have so much bloody shopping to do though. I hate christmas.