Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any characters. I'd like some undies with Edward's face on them, however.
Summary: AH/OOC/EPOV: Edward struggles to determine whether or not he should tell his best friend, Bella, that he's in love with her before they graduate, or whether he should just give up on her altogether. However, she has a plan that'll make things very difficult for Edward.
Previously: Bella is horny. Edward is keen. Alice has champagne.
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IRRATIONAL
"Belward!" Alice squeals, calling us that couple-name she's so fond of. "I've got CHAMPAGNE!"
"Ooh, Goody!" Bella laughs, then jumps up from the bed to let Alice in, who looks like she's had a few glasses already. "Let's get this party started!" Bella exclaims, then she runs over and pulls Alice out of Jasper's arms. They stumble a bit and I understand why Jaz was holding onto Alice so tight.
Damn Alice and her fucking champagne for runing what might've been a pretty pleasant evening for Bella and I. Damn Jasper fucking Hale. Damn him to the pits of hell for not controlling my equally-damned sister. Damn the both of them for cursing me with having to look after my best friend who just doesn't know when to stop. But most of all, damn Bella for getting me all keen and then squealing and encouraging Alice! Alice with champagne is bad. Alice with champagne being encouraged by Bella is worse.
Bella shuts the door behind Alice and Jasper and pulls the bottle of champagne out of Alice's grip, then takes a swig. Jasper stands by the door and watches Alice as she dances around like a crazy drunk pixie, while Bella saunters over to her suitcase and pulls out her own surprise – a bottle of Vodka. "Bells, don't drink it straight," I warn, but she laughs at me and takes a shot straight from the bottle, crinkling her nose when it moves down her throat. "Told you," I say, but Bella giggles again and thrusts the bottle at me.
I'm smart so I walk over to the mini-bar and pull out a can of coke, make myself a double-vodka and coke, then a single for Bella. Drinking vodka straight is just shit. Vodka is more of a chicks drink too. Coke isn't much better, but it's still a mild improvement. Alice lies back down on Bella's bed, guzzling her champagne while Jasper helps himself to some Vodka. This shit ain't going to last long, but maybe that's a good thing.
Several glasses of Vodka later, Alice tells Jasper to go back to her room – he's whipped like a bitch – and he does, bringing back another bottle of wine, which he tosses Alice. I wish he wouldn't encourage her, but she is fair funny. Jasper can't take his eyes off her, and I gotta admit, I can tell he loves her. As much as I love Bella, if not more.
"Okay! Confession time!" Bella exclaims, then throws down the pillows from our beds on the floor and plants herself on one. She looks up at the three of us expectantly and we take that as our cue to follow suit and sit down. Alice sits down on Jasper's lap and he looks thoroughly pleased with himself. Then I wonder exactly what Bella plans on confessing, not that Jasper and Alice don't know the biggest thing she could probably confess.
"Um, what are we confessing?" Jasper asks.
"I'll start," Bella volunteers. "Edward and I are going to have sex," she states confidently, then lifts the bottle of wine to her lips and guzzles. Oh fuck, I pray, don't fuck this up Alice.
"We knew that, silly!" Alice giggles and I shoot her a death stare.
"How could you know that?" Bella asks my sister, then she turns towards me and glares. "You fucking told Alice? Your sister? That is fucking perverted, even for you!"
"Oh Bells, he only did it because he's in-" Alice begins, but I quickly shift and cover her mouth with my hand. She gives me a knowing look, then seems to realise how she was potentially close to ruining my existence. "It's only because he didn't want to do wrong by you," Alice quickly covers, then throws me an apologetic look, which i'm sure Bella catches but i'm hoping she's too intoxicated to notice. Bloody Bella and her perceptiveness. Thank fuck, she seems to have brushed it off.
"Aw you're so sweet, E," Bella cooes, then not so gracefully moves over to me and plants a light kiss on my cheek. "My bestest friend ever!" She adds, then wraps her arms around me and moves herself onto my lap. "Actually guys," she addresses Alice and Jasper, "we were going to do some practicing before you burst in!"
"Ew! Bella, he's my brother!" Alice throws the argument back at Bella.
"Not by blood, young sister," I joke, then she slaps me, feigning disgust.
"Maybe we should leave them alone baby," Jasper offers, but Alice dismisses him.
"No. No one has confessed anything that all of us didn't know," Alice pouts. "I will tell you guys a secret. Jasper really likes it when I use my- " Jasper stops her from finishing that sentence, covering her mouth just as I had earlier. Alice is not the best person to get drunk with. She seems to know everyone's secrets.
"Come on, Al," Jasper says, then pulls her up and throws her tiny figure over his shoulder. She's apparently too sloshed to object, so Jasper escourts her out of the room chuckling, then turns and gives Bella and I a wave, leaving us alone, at last.
"Mhm, Edward," Bella purrs, then she turns in my lap so her legs are on either side of mine and she's facing me. She wraps her arms around my waist and rests her head on my chest. "Sometimes, I feel like we're the only people in the world. Like you're the only person who matters to me." She sighs so I pick her up and lay her down on her bed and hope she's saying this because it's what she thinks and not just because she's drunk and happy. "No, Edward. Please come to bed with me."
"I'll just have a shower first. Okay, baby?" I say, then walk over and kiss her on her forehead. How the fuck am I meant to be a good "just friend" to her, when she's saying this kind of shit to me? Not that it's shit. It just does my head in. I can't grasp it, sometimes. I get hopeful too. Like maybe she's saying it because she does have some kind of feeling for me, like I do for her. It's times like these that risking it, just telling her how I feel because of the off chance she feels the same way. Fuck Alice for being right. I need to tell her.
"Okay, come back soon," she whispers and I head off to the bathroom. As much as I don't want to leave her, i'm damn nervous. My dreams of having Bella and pleasuring her are all laid out for me and possibly turning into reality and it's intimidating. I turn on the shower and it's warm, but not in the way Bella is. I long to hold her freely in my arms, so I make the shower quick, then towel off and throw on some boxers before walking out into the room.
Bella is still in the same position as when I left. Her dark brown hair fanned out around her face, her arms lay across her chest, which is slowly rising and falling with each careful breath. And that's when I realise she's too peaceful; she's asleep. In all fairness, she was hammered, but i'm still pissed at her for falling asleep on me. Guess i'll be getting myself off tonight. I turn back towards the bathroom in the hopes of working out some sexual angst, but then I hear Bella sigh.
"Edward."
I turn to face her and she's still asleep, but there's a smile playing on her perfect, plump lips. "Oh, Edward," she sighs again, then she raises her hand to her head. I turn back and shift her over so I can lay back down beside her as she continues to sigh and murmer. "Alice, leave me alone," Bella growls in her sleep, then the smile falls off her lips. "No, no! I want the cotton panties!" I chuckle quietly, so as to not wake Bella, then wrap my arms around her. Here goes my mashochistic shit again. It's really true, though. I like putting myself through this, even if it is ultimately painful.
She instantly relaxes and goes back to sighing my name.
"I love you, my Bella," I sigh. Then I turn off the light.
"Edward?" Bella calls my name softly, then I open my eyes and she's staring down at me, looking tired, but still beautiful. "Sorry, I didn't want to wake you but we have to check out in an hour." The sun is filtering in the window and I slept so peaceful, the night barely feels like it's come and gone.
"S'okay," I say.
"Sorry about last night," Bella mumbles. "I had a bit too much to drink."
"It's fine, Bells," I assure her. I've seen her much worse, after all.
"I'm sorry about a lot of things," Bella sighs. "I've been acting so weird lately. I'm really sorry. I just thought Jacob was the one, but he just wasn't and you're just so wonderful to me that I sometimes forget that you're my best friend, not sexy Edward Cullen, who promises to make me come," she giggles and I chuckle.
"Don't apologize, really," I say, then take her small hand in mine. "I get that feeling a lot, too."
"That surprises me," Bella says and I can tell she doesn't mean it in a spiteful way, she's just curious. "It's just weird, because you're...a sl....you're just experienced and i'm not. I just don't see you as having problems dealing with sexual frustration and all that."
"I haven't had sex for almost a month," I remind her. "I'm not a sex-fiend. It's actually lost it's appeal lately, I must confess."
"Hrm," Bella breathes. "We're so contemplative and all that," she giggles and I can tell she's trying to lighten the mood a bit.
"Hey, E? Do you remember that time we got drunk at the playground and I fell backwards down the slide and you had to carry me to yours so your dad could make sure I was okay?"
"I do," I grin. "I also remember how you seemed to form some kind of obsession with my father after that. You'd ask, how is Carlisle, oh he's so lovely. Dr Cullen ooh." Reminiscing.
"Is that really so surprising? Your dad is a total DILF!"
"Wrong on so many levels," I cringe. "Come on, let's get our stuff packed up."
This is why I love Bella – despite the sexual tension on my part, everything else is so easy with us. She's my best friend and I'm hers.
Jasper is driving us home, says I need a break. I'm still worried about entrusting my Volvo over to him, but i'll deal because I can stare at Bella instead of the road. I'm that obsessed. I think it's bordering on unhealthy sometimes, but then I shrug and convince myself love is irrational. And i'm bloody irrational, believe me. Agreeing to take your best friends virginity is one thing, but then agreeing to help her get off is another thing entirely. Still, i'm obsessed. And of course, i'm a pussy who's yet to act on it.
The drive home is slow, agonizing. Bella is still tired so she sleeps soundly , her head resting my lap. Jasper and Alice are linking hands in the front and Bella ocassionally sighs, sometimes even says my name. It makes my heart thump everytime and everytime i'm with her when she's asleep she says it several times. That just doesn't get old and she never seems to stop saying it. I guess it's just because we see eachother a lot. I'm on her mind, kinda thing.
"So, Edward. I really thought you'd tell Bella," Alice says as she invites herself back in my room. We got home a few hours ago and dropped Jasper and Bella home so they could see their families.
"Alice-" I warn, but she frowns at me and then she looks sad. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Because i'm waiting for you to break," Alice whispers softly.
"What on earth do you mean?"
"You need to tell her," she says simply, failing to answer my question. She sure is cryptic sometimes. "Before someone else steps in." Then it hits me. My eavesdropping on the bathroom conversation. How Alice was too mad to explain to me what was going on after she'd found out I was listening to hers and Bella's conversation. James. Mother fucking James. How the hell could I forget?
"James," I hiss and Alice nods. "What the fuck is he doing, Al?"
"You're not going to like this..." Alice said. "Him and Bella are going on a date."
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A/N: Please Review and let me know if I've gone too weird with this. For those of you who are like what is a DILF? Dad i'd like to fuck. Just like a MILF. Haha. And as if Carlisle isn't a dilf. Fuck. He's hot. Like Peter Faccinelli in the movie. I was like oh my lord. Hot dilf. Okay imma shutup.