Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any characters. I'd like some undies with Edward's face on them, however.
Summary: AH/OOC/EPOV: Edward struggles to determine whether or not he should tell his best friend, Bella, that he's in love with her before they graduate, or whether he should just give up on her altogether. However, she has a plan that'll make things very difficult for Edward.
Previously: Bella and Edward decide to put some room between them, until Prom.
----------------
APART
"Oh, Edward," she moans. I think her name is Laura, but I don't really care. All I know is she's sitting on my cock and she's enjoying it. I wish I could say the same about myself, but in reality, it's just the same stupid, meaningless sex I was constantly having before Bella and I made what I now call The Agreement. I begin to wonder what the hell I ever saw in this shit, while Lori bounces up and down on my cock. Her eyes are closed so she can't notice my bored expression. Thank fuck. I don't want to get into some fight with this chick. Lauren, I think that's the right name. Laura, Lori, Lauren, same shit.
It's not that great, but my dick reacts anyway and eventually I shoot my cum inside her, while she moans out in ecstasy. She tightens her grip on my shoulders while she milks out the last of my cum, her tits bouncing in my face. I have absolutely no desire to reach out and squeeze them, though. It's not just because my dick has exhausted it's usage for a now, it's because i've seen Bella's and they aren't Bella's boobs. This girl just isn't Bella.
The girl I banged last night wasn't Bella either, or the one the night before. The chick who sucked my dick this morning wasn't Bella. None of the chicks i've had sexual relations with in this past week have been Bella. They're not soft and pale. They aren't beautiful without make-up and i'll never know if they talk in their sleep because I don't hang around long enough for them to actually fall asleep.
"Wow," L-name girl breathes. "Now I understand why you're so infamous with all the girls at school." She giggles and she just sounds like a coke-head porn star. She's clearly an idiot, because I didn't do anything. She just sat on me and did all the work. I don't say anything, merely reach down and grab my pants and quickly pull them up my legs. I need to get out of this girls overly purple room. It's sickening. I hate doing the deed in a girl's room, but still, I never bring them to my own. It'd be harder to get rid of them then.
"I have to go," I mumble and girl sits up, looking concerned.
"Why? Just say here," she whines.
"I just have to go Lisa," I growl.
"My name is Lauren, remember?" She reminds me.
"Oh yeah, sorry Lauren," I say, then I stand up from the bed, throw my shirt back on and walk out of her bedroom door. Thank fuck her parents aren't home, I really couldn't be bothered climbing out the window. Besides, Bella has given me a whole new memory of climbing up a tree and into a girls bedroom window. I really don't want to tarnish that with this shit.
"Call me!" Lauren, aka the oblivious dumbshit, calls from her bedroom window as I'm getting into my car. I'm embarassed for the both of us so I quickly get in my car, start the engine and get the fuck out of there. This is the feeling i've had with every girl that's not Bella since we decided to spend time apart. Stupid fucking idea, if you ask me, but I can't complain because I brought it upon myself. I know, I'm an idiot. I'll tell her, though. Just I can't while she's specifically said she doesn't want to talk to me 'cuz im sure she'll just be even more pissed off.
Alice is pissed off at me too. Namely because she says Bella is going on a date with James tomorrow night. I've told her it's not my problem. She insists I should do something to stop it and I probably should, but really, I'm still kind of pissed at Bella for practically calling me a slut and questioning my intentions with her. Before she announced her desire to get into my pants, I was nothing but noble around her, honestly.
I pull the car into my driveway. Alice's car isn't here, thank god. I don't think I could deal with anymore of her harassing me. It's a friday night and I'm home by 11pm because i'm just lame now. Even The Doctor and Esme are out.
So it's just me. Alone. There's only one thing to do in this situation; get absolutely shitfaced.
I scramble over to the kitchen and explore in the cupboards, finding a bottle of bourbon. Then I turn to the fridge and pull out a beer. I pop the can and guzzle it down, then take a swig of the bourbon. Then I repeat the process. Several times. After a little while, everything starts to go blurry. Good. I want everything to blur. To mesh into all the colors and be a mess so I don't have to think. I'm keen on not thinking and the kitchen floor suddenly looks very inviting.
"EDWARD! What the hell have you done, son?" Carlisle yells at me. I rub my eyes and realise I must've passed out on the inviting kitchen floor. Beer cans are surrounding my body and I'm clutching the ¾ empty bottle of bourbon to my chest. "Get up, now!"
"I don't want to," I whinge. "Leave me alone, Doctor! Let me dwell on my misery. THE WORLD HAS FAILED ME FATHER!" I howl to the rooftops, while my dad tries to pull me up from the floor. I protest and whimper and just act like a general girl. It reminds me of the time the Jimmy Choo store sold out of a pair of shoes Alice wanted and she got drunk and cried all night. Apart from that random memory, my mind seems frazzled/generally fucked beyond repair and I can't think.
"Edward, dear," my mother sighs as she enters the kitchen. "Carlisle, what's wrong with him?"
"He's drunk, clearly," Carlisle states bluntly as he manages to pull me to my feet. I stumble, but he grips onto my arm tightly while my mother pulls a large bottle of water out of the fridge and grabs a loaf of bread from the pantry. Then my parents walk me upstairs, all the way to the third floor, me blubbering like a fool the whole way. My father deposits me on my bed and grunts angrily at me, while my mother sits beside me and holds my head up so I can drink some water.
Carlisle yells at me, tells me how dangerous it is to drink that much a lot. Apparently I could've choked on my vomit and died. Well, so be it. Then I do something i've never done; I turn to Carlisle and yell "FUCK OFF!"
Esme gasps, while Carlisle looks like he wants to slap me. He's not a violent man, by any means, but I can tell i've enraged him.
"Edward Anthony Cullen!" Esme says, then she slaps me square across the face. "Don't you dare speak to your father like that! This is not how we raised you!"
Carlisle shakes his head at me and leaves the room, followed by my mother. I feel bad, terrible actually. I've alienated myself from not only Bella and my sister, but now my parents as well. I turn away every person that tries to help me and it's all because i'm a stupid, selfish bastard. Even realising this, however, I still know I'm going to mope in my bed. I'm not going to go downstairs and apologize to my father. Not tonight, anyway. I'll do it tomorrow. That's always my excuse...i'll do it later....
Fucking grow some balls, Edward.
***
"Edward! What have you done to your wardrobe? It's all filth! Gah! You're lucky I bought you this new shirt," Alice chirps angrily, while I sit on my bed and cover my ears because she's just too fucking loud for my hangover.
"I don't know what's going on, you have free reign over it," I remind my sister, referring to my closet.
"Well you still need to take care with it! Stop moping too and get off your hungover ass. Go downstairs and apologise to Dad before he goes to work and grow some balls while your at it," Alice demands.
"I always find myself telling myself to grow balls," I say and Alice just looks at me like i'm a crazy fuck. Which I probably am. I get up from my bed and walk over to my bathroom, while Alice continues to prattle on and on and on and on because she's always going on and never shutting up. Fucking ADHD I swear.
I beat off in the shower, nothing out the norm. Imagining Bella. Imagining Bella's cum face. Her warm, wet and juicy folds. Her firm, round breasts. It's all too much and I cum within what seems like seconds, feeling mostly unsatisfied as usual.
I towel off and pull on my robe, then return to my bedroom. Just as I predicted, Alice has laid out an outfit for me to wear on the bed. I roll my eyes, then walk over to my chest of drawers to grab some boxer-briefs. Shame I forgot what was in the top drawer.
Bella's white cotton panties. Fuck.
I remember coming home from Bella's, after i'd given her an orgasm and she'd said she'd wanted space. I was miserable. Then I reached into the pocket of my jeans and felt the wet fabric. Wet with her juices. Then I fell down on my bed and cried like a little girl. Only Bella's panties could cause such a reaction in me. Or Bella in general.
How could I forget they were in there, right in my draw along with all my own briefs? I only beat off with said cotton panties in my hand every day and the next one. I quickly scrunch them up and throw them under the pillow on my bed before turning to assess the outfit Alice has laid out for me.
Grey jeans that Alice has nicknamed my "fuck me" jeans. They apparently make my ass look hot. Blue shirt. Uh yeah, okay sister. I throw on the outfit, then bound down the first set of stairs and knock on Alice's door. She opens with curlers and shit in her hair and she growls at me.
"Edward! I'm grooming!"
"Fuck, okay. I was just seeing what the plan was for tonight," I respond.
"See, this is why you need to listen to me and not tune me out!" Alice snaps. "I won't repeat this again, so listen up brother. First, we are going for dinner at the diner with Rose, Em and Jaz. Then we are going to Rose's for a little soiree." Great, fifth wheel. Maybe I should take Lauren up on her offer and call her just so I don't look like a pathetic fuck.
"Who the hell says soiree? What do you mean by that?"
"I say it and I mean the majority of our grade getting shitfaced at Rose's."
"Fine," I growl.
"Don't growl at me and stop acting pissy. Bella is going into Port Angeles with James tonight then she'll be stopping by the party and I swear to god, if she leaves with him, I'll have your balls on a platter."
Uh, fuck. Okay.
I drive Alice to Forks' tiny diner, where Rose, Jasper and Emmett are already waiting.
All the normal pleasantries and shit occur. We eat. We talk shit. Then we cruise by the bottle shop and Emmett and I go in and pick up some booze. Making friends with anyone who works at a bottle shop is always a good idea.
When we get to Rose's, the girls crank up the music and make cocktails. Emmett, Jaz and I decide to do some shots and we're happily buzzed by the time the rest of the crowd arrives. Tanya walks past me and gives me an evil look, oh yeah I was a bit of an asshole to her. Then Lauren passes me and raises her eyebrows at me and helps herself to a drink. Jessica Stanley walks past next. What is with all these chicks i've fucked walking past?
I suppose, it's kind of a hard thing to avoid. I have slept with a lot of girls. Next girl is Angela Weber. She smiles at me sincerely, then her boyfriend Ben waves at me. Finally, a girl I haven't tapped. But fuck, the next girl, I'd much rather be without. I haven't slept with her, even though she's damn hot. But fuck. I just don't want to go near her or touch her because she grosses me out. Victoria.
"Edward," she purrs. "What are you doing all on your lonesome?" She pushes her tits up, probably hoping i'll have a look. Which I do, because I can't help myself.
"I'll have you know, i'm content," I sigh then take a drink. "Where's James?"
"Oh, don't play stupid. He's on his date with Isabella. I'm sure you know that." I try to shrug it off, but Victoria's a persistent bitch. "I wouldn't be so worried, Eddie. James is just a sick fuck. He's very transparent, I'm sure that Bella sees through all his bullshit." I can't tell if she's taunting me or not. Maybe she knows that Bella actually does believe his crap. I turn to walk away from her, but her hand reaches out to me.
"Hey," she says softly. "Sorry. I wasn't trying to be a bitch. I'm just pissed."
"Why?" I ask, turning to face her.
"James dumped me for Bella Swan. I'm not exactly flattered." She looks down at her feet and I kind of feel bad for the chick. James can be manipulative. I wouldn't put it past him to lie about some fabricated feelings to Victoria so he can just keep her around for some ass on the side.
"He just wants to fuck her," I say in an attempt to comfort her. "Don't worry. Bella dumped me as a friend."
"Aw isn't that sad," Victoria mocks and I instantly take away my feelings of pity for her. Screw her. I go to to walk away and this time I don't turn around when she calls my name. I turn and bang into Emmett who is thoroughly sloshed. He pats me on the back and then twirls around, no doubt trying to find Rose.
I tear away from the crowd and wander up the stairs to find some quiet. I stumble across Rose's room and am surprised to find that it's not occupied by any horny teenagers. I lie back down on Rose's comfy king-sized bed and kick my shoes off and try to ignore the fact that she and Emmett frequently have sex in this bed. I'm weird and it's fowl, but I don't care. I'm sure she changes the sheets. Besides, I feel like ostricisingmyself. I sure am turning into an emo fuck.
It feels like I've drifted off to sleep, but then I hear a voice that could awaken me from the dead; Bella's voice.
"James," she giggles, but it seems forced. Almost like she's trying to diffuse the situation. "Someone is probably in Rose's room."
"Come on, Bella," James growls.
"Let's just go back downstairs," Bella says, her tone more serious.
"Naaaah, let's have a little fun," James slurs and I hear a light bang on the wall.
"I said I wanted to go back downstairs," Bella replies, this time her voice is more forceful. I don't want her to know i'm listening, but I don't want James trying to fondle her either. I get up from Rose's bed and walk over the door and open it to find James pressing Bella against the opposing wall. They're both caught up in the situation, so they don't feel my presence and i'm sure they can't hear me over the music blaring from downstairs.
"I said no," Bella states firmly, but James continues to press into her. She looks over his shoulder and she notices me and then her eyes widen, just as I pull James off her and slam him down on the ground and punch him square on the nose. "Edward!" Bella cries and she jumps over James, who has deposited himself on the floor and throws herself in my arms, sobbing.
James makes a lurch for my leg, but I kick that fucker away and his head hits the wall, knocking him out.
At that moment, Emmett and Jasper appear at the top of the stairwell and I indicate to James, passed out on the floor. They smile at me and point back down the stairs. Bella and I walk past them, while they walk over to James.
"Well well, what have we hear?" I hear Emmett ask playfully just as Bella and I head back downstairs.
"Bells, are you okay?" I ask Bella once we're safely outside the house and on the front porch so we can have some peace and actually hear one another over the music.
"I'm so sorry. I should've listened to you. It became obvious all he wanted was sex the minute he picked me up. We drove to Port Angeles and he kept feeling my thigh, but I just tried to dismiss it. Then all through the movie, he was practically groping me. It made me really uncomfortable, but truthfully, I was scared of what he'd do if I objected. Finally, I convinced him to bring me here and then he forced me upstairs. I played along in the hopes that he'd stop pushing me...well, you know what happened next."
I don't stay anything, merely pull Bella closer to my chest. "It was awful," she sobs. "I hardly let him touch me and it was still awful. I just kept thinking about you and how I should've listened to you."
"It's okay, Bells. As long as you're okay, then i'm okay," I assure her, then I pull her onto my lap and lightly kiss her on the forehead.
"I miss you," Bella sighs. "It feels like it's been weeks, rather than days."
"I miss you, too," I agree. "Friends?"
"Friends," Bella agreess.
"Do you want to get out of here?" I suggest.
"I thought you'd never ask," Bella laughs.
----------------
A/N: Sorry took me a while to update, but this chapter is longer than what I usually do! Got some juiciness planned for next chappy. The more you review, the faster it'll be posted!