Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any characters. I'd like some undies with Edward's face on them, however.
Summary: AH/OOC/EPOV: Edward struggles to determine whether or not he should tell his best friend, Bella, that he's in love with her before they graduate, or whether he should just give up on her altogether. However, she has a plan that'll make things very difficult for Edward.
Previously: Edward is about to tell Bella he loves her.
A/N: There's a line in here I stole from the gossip girl episode "O brother, where bart thou?". See if you gossip girl fans can pick it up. Sorry for the cliffie last chapter too...it was mean. Thank you so much for all the reviews. I really appreciate it :) Sorry for not updating sooner either.
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TRUTH
"Okay...here goes. Bella....I....." I trail off. This is harder than I thought. "Fuck!"
"E?" Bella prompts. "You can tell me."
"What if it's too bad and it scares you away?"
"Edward, you should know by now that the worst thing you've ever done—the darkest thought you've ever had—I will stand by you through anything," Bella says softly and picks up my hand. I look up and her deep brown eyes bore into me and I know now, this is it. Our friendship can't continue to hang on the edge of a knife. Then I hear a knock on my door.
"Edward? Are you home?" Alice calls.
"Alice i'm busy, go away!" I call back. "Please," I add.
Alice makes a growl-like sound from behind the door.
No. No interuptions. I'm telling her tonight. I hear Alice curse at me, but she stomps back downstairs to her room nonetheless. Maybe she'll encounter Carlisle along the way so I don't have to explain why Bella is about to run out of my room and say she hates me. Okay stop thinking like that, Edward. Bella is waiting.
"E....please tell me. We don't keep things from eachother."
"It's important Bella, I need you word. Don't hate me."
"I could never, ever hate you," Bella whispers.
"Bella," I say, then squeeze her hand tighter. "I'm in love with you." I look away from her eyes and down into my lap.
"W-what?" Bella stutters, then she lets go of my hand and buries her face in her hands. "Ed...wa....no. That's....no E," she mumbles incoherently. "That just makes no sense, Edward. Why would you love me?"
"I just love you okay? It doesn't matter. I knew you didn't feel the same way. It's okay, I mean why would would you feel the same way about me? I told Alice and Dad...but no....okay, no. I'm just going to go downstairs," I ramble, then I get up from the bed and walk over to my door. Fuck. That couldn't've gone any worse. I don't care what Carlisle says, I need a stiff drink.
"Edward!" Bella calls, just as I'm about to walk out of my door. I turn slightly, because I can feel her presence behind me. Bella yanks on my arm so I turn fully around to face her. Tears are freely streaming down her face, so I reach up to wipe them away. She leans into my touch and closes her eyes, then she smiles a sweet, but reserved smile.
I move my hand away, just as Bella opens her eyes. She looks straight at me and I feel so vulnerable and scared, but then she leans forward and wraps her arms around my waist. I hug her back and I can feel her tears on my chest. She pulls away from me and looks up at me and it's too overwhelming, I just want to get away from the girl i'm in love with because it hurts. But then she stands on the tips of her toes and licks her lips.
Then she's kissing me, with more passion than I've ever felt. Bella wraps her arms around my neck and I tighten my hold on her waist. I don't care about the reason, I just need to be close to her one last time. "Edward," she moans when she finally pulls away. I try to step away, but she pulls onto me tighter and frees one of her hands so she can pull my face in line with hers.
"Edward, I love you too," she whispers and she crashes her lips to mine again. She loves me? No? Yes! She loves me!
I pull away so I can look into her eyes and Bella is purely beaming up at me.
"I can't believe you feel the way i've felt for so long," she breathes.
"Bella," I sigh. "I only realised how I felt about a year ago, but i'm sure i've loved you for as long as I've known you. How couldn't I?"
"Oh Edward," Bella moans before she kisses me again. "It's all so surreal. I'm sorry for scaring you, it's just when you told me my mind went blank. It's the thing i've been waiting to hear for so long."
"That doesn't matter. Just so long as you're here and you want to be with me and you feel how I feel, everything will be okay. I love you, my Bella," I sigh.
"I love you," Bella replies simply as she lets her hand lie on my cheek. "I love you so much. It feels amazing to finally say it. I love you. I love you. I've loved you since we were freshman and now you....god....E! I just really love you," she laughs.
"And I really really love you," I say then I pull Bella into my arms and lift her straight off the ground. She rests both her arms around my neck, while I hold her around the waist. Bella then wraps her legs around my waist and we share a fiery kiss whilst I walk us over to my bed and lay us down. "Mhm, Bella," I moan in between kisses and I lie down in between her legs.
Bella claws at the bare skin of my back and I suddenly feel very naked in nothing but my boxers despite our previous actions tonight. My already erect manhood is getting dangerously close to Bella's core and clothed or not, I'm still a bit wary. "Bella, baby...we need to stop before we get carried away."
"I want to get carried away," Bella growls, then she clings onto my neck and presses her lips to mine again.
"Bell...ah....." I manage between kisses and finally Bella sits up, releases me and then sighs in irritation. "I'm sorry, love. I just want it to be special." I couldn't ever curse Bella by having meaningless sex with her. Of course it wouldn't be meaningless, but it would remind me of those times with girls like Lauren and Tanya and that's not a good association to have with making to love to my beautiful best friend...or girlfriend I guess now?
"Oh you aren't going to make me wait to graduation?" Bella laughs.
"Actually, I think that's a good idea. Then you still have time to back out," I reply.
"Why would I back out?"
"What if you see who I really am and you can't be in a relationship with me?" I question.
"Edward that's stupid. I already told you that i'm here for you through anything. I love you and you can't talk me out of it and I know that you will do anything you can for me. Not many guys would have the courage to say what you did. I didn't even have the courage to say it. No one is backing out of anything, okay?"
"I love you," I reply simply because that's all I can think to say and Bella crawls up my body and sits on my lap. I pull her tightly to my chest and whisper I love you in her ear over and over and kiss her lightly along her shoulders and neck. Bella turns in my lap so she's facing me and wraps her arms around my waist and then we're kissing. It's something that I just can't seem to get enough of because Bella tastes amazing and because she feels the same way I do about her.
"Does this mean I still have to wait?" Bella pouts.
"My family are all home," I remind her.
"I'm sure I can manage to be quiet," she giggles.
"Not now, Bells. I'll get you a hotel. Just you wait," I say then Bella sighs and moves off me and onto the bed so she can lie down.
"Hey, E?"
"Yes?"
"Does this mean you're, like, my boyfriend?" Bella chuckles.
"I guess so, girlfriend. Those words seem so insignificant to how we feel though, don't you think?"
"Yeah," Bella sighs. "Anyways, despite everything, I was sleeping and I am tired. Do you mind if I go to sleep?"
"Not at all. I'm taking you on a date tomorrow so you need your rest," I chuckle.
Bella rolls her eyes at me and then she's asleep again before I know it. I crawl under the covers beside her and wrap my arms around her waist and fall into an easy sleep.
***
My body feels warm as I wake up on this Sunday morning. I squeeze my eyes tight, hoping to fit in some more sleep, but it continues to evade me. That's when I realise the heat is also pressure, as if a human body is half on top of me. Oh crap. Who did I bring home last night? I wish things could be like in my dreams when I finally told Bella I loved her and she loved me back.
I try to go back to sleep, but the someone in my bed keeps proding me and telling me to get up. "Get up for fucks sake!" She growls. I open my eyes to find none other than Bella leaning over me.
"It wasn't a dream?" I ask and images of sharing several passionate kisses with Bella flood my mind.
"Obviously not, idiot," Bella replies then hits me softly with a pillow. "Sorry to interrupt your beauty sleep, but i'm hungry and i'm too embarassed to go downstairs. You aren't normally this confused in the morning."
"Why are you embarassed?"
"Because I just stayed the night in bed with a boy whom I love. Said boy's parents are also downstairs. Awkward much?"
"Bella you already know my parents," I remind her. "How is it any different?"
"Because! It just is!" She pouts and I roll my eyes at her.
"I thought it was just a dream," I say.
"I thought that too....until I rolled over and almost right on top of you. Did you sleep well?"
"Best night's sleep i've had in a long time," I answer.
"Me too," Bella agrees, a large smile crosses her face and she laughs. "I still can't believe any of this. So what's on the agenda for today?"
"I did tell you I had a date planned, but I will feed you first. Come on," I say as I stand up from my bed and pull Bella up from it. She wraps her arms around my waist and I do the same to her and in this moment, everything feels right and perfect. Bella is here with me and she loves me.
We walk down the stairs, hand in hand to find Esme fussing around in the kitchen, while Carlisle sits at the bench with a coffee, reading over the paper with Alice. They all look up at mine and Bella's arrival, but I don't let go of her hand. Carlisle smiles at me knowingly, while Alice eyes us suspiciously.
"Morning Bella, Edward," Esme greets us, thankfully breaking the silence. I assume Carlisle has filled her in, because she goes back to making the eggs without another glance at us.
"Um, sorry for yelling at you last night," I turn to Alice and say. She sighs, then smiles at Bella and I.
"It's okay. I didn't know Bella came back here. What are you two up to today? I think I'm going to invite the gang over to go in the spa."
"Uh, sounds good. Bells and I won't be here though," I reply.
"And why is that brother bear?"
"I'm taking Bella someplace special," I state confidently, pulling Bella into my chest. I see Carlisle smirk at me, while Esme offers me an encouraging smile.
"Oh that's wonderful!" Alice chirps. "Oh can I dress you Bella? Please? Oh you'll look so beautiful! Oh and I think we need to go shopping soon seeing as you have Edward's clothes on. You need more nightwear!"
"Woah, Al. Chillax," Bella soothes. "You can dress me if you must." More squeals erupt.
I whisper to Alice where i'm taking Bella and she runs her upstairs as soon as we're done with breakfast. When it gets to twelve, I knock impatiently on Alice's door, then head back downstairs to grab everything for mine and Bella's date.
Finally, Alice summons me to the bottom of the stairs and says that Bella is ready.
Bella appears, slowly descending the staircase and she looks beautiful. Alice obeyed my orders to dress her appropriately for today's activities, but still added the Alice-twist. Bella reaches me, clad in flat tennis shoes, jean shorts and a short-sleeved blue top. Her beautiful chocolate hair waves down over her shoulders. "You look nice," I murmer against her lips before crashing mine to hers. Our lips fight against one another for several moments, until Alice clears her throat loudly, forcing Bella and I to step apart.
"You should get going so you're back before dark," Alice says. With that, I escort Bella out to the Volvo.
"Where are you taking me?" Bella asks on the ride. I shake my head at her and try to keep a smile off my face. "Well fine then. Don't tell me. At least i'm wearing flat shoes, that's a good sign." We finally get to our destination and Bella gives me a skeptical look. "Why are we standing outside the forest?"
"I'm taking you into the forest, someplace special," I reply as I take her hand. "Come on, it's not that far."
Bella and I traipse through the forest for almost half an hour before I can see my special place coming up, behind the trees. I take Bella's hand and walk her through the trees and into the beautiful clearing, which I've come to know as my own personal fortress of solitude. My meadow.
The meadow is small, perfectly round, and filled with wild-flowers of every colour and if I listen closely, I can hear the bubbling music of the stream near by. I was lucky in that the sun was out and directly overhead, filling the circle with a haze of buttery sunshine.
"Oh Edward, it's beautiful," Bella comments. "How did you find it?"
"Sometimes I just want to get away from everything. I just came for a walk one day, I kept walking until I found it. I can be here alone and I can think. That's why I didn't even tell you. Sometimes i'd come here and think about you. The air is so fresh and pure here thatit made me believe i'd have the strength the tell you how I feel."
"Edward," Bella sighed. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For just showing me the true you. Without the facade or the boundaries, just Edward. I always thought I knew who you really were, but now it's like a whole new dimension has been added. I love you."
"I love you too," I reply. I softly lean in to kiss Bella and then gently lower her body down to the soft grass of the meadow. We roll around and kiss for several minutes, before Bella brushes the grass of her body in an attempt to compose herself.
I reach over to my backpack and pull out a bottle of water for Bella and one for myself, then we lie back down and stare up into the clear blue sky.
Everything in this moment is pure bliss because Bella is at my side.
"Bella?"
"Mhm?" she sighs.
"When we go away – to college, that is – how would you feel about us getting a apartment together?" I ask.
"I thought that was the plan all along."
"Well, yes. I just wasn't sure if it was too soon for that now that things are well, different between us. I'd hate to think if it didn't work out," I express my worries. I decide I need to be completely honest with Bella, otherwise we're never going to get anywhere with this relationship.
"I'd like to think that we'd do anything to be and stay together, one way or another," Bella replies simply and I know she's right. I would do anything for her.
Bella rests with her head on my chest while the sun beams down on us. The conversation moves along easily. We discuss college, our families, eachother, school and it's just so....easy. Effortless. The way I imagine that relationships are supposed to be. I've never exactly had a girlfriend. Just girls i've fucked. I'd say I was missing out – but if those girls weren't Bella, how could I enjoy a relationship with them?
It begins to get dark, so I gather Bella and our things up and we begin the walk back out of the forest and to my waiting car.
"I don't want to be apart from you," Bella sighs as I walk her to her front door.
"If I had my way, we'd never be apart," I say, "but you wouldn't want Charlie to starve. I'll pick you up for school tomorrow."
"Okay," Bella whispers, then she stands on her toes so she can plant a gentle kiss on my cheek, whilst holding my around the waist. I return the hug and pull away just as she whispers, "I love you."
"I love you too," I reply before walking back over to my Volvo.
***
"Edward! Details, now!" Alice chirps as I walk into my bedroom. "Please?"
"I finally told her, Al," I state simply.
"Yay! I'm so proud you finally grew some balls!" Alice squeals.
"Goodnight Alice," I say as I push her over to my door, then return to my bed and my thoughts of Bella.
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AN: A nice fluffy chapter. Once again, way sorry it took ages to update. I find fluff can be difficult to write and keep consistent so I guess that's my excuse!