Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any characters. I'd like some undies with Edward's face on them, however.
Summary: AH/OOC/EPOV: Edward struggles to determine whether or not he should tell his best friend, Bella, that he's in love with her before they graduate, or whether he should just give up on her altogether. However, she has a plan that'll make things very difficult for Edward.
Previously: Edward finally tells Bela he loves her and she loves him back. He then takes her to the meadow.
A/N: I'm so so so sorry it took aaaaages to update. My stupid fucking computer decided to die in the arse. That was a week ago, but since then I have no excuse other than being a lazy shit. If it's some condolence, this chapter is the longest of the story. Final Chapter yay :)
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BEAUTY
Bella at the prom was so fucking beautiful. She looked beyond words in a beautiful blue long dress and she was beaming the whole night. I swear I never saw that smile leave her amazing face. She looked as beautiful as she does when she sleeps – like she is right now, in my arms. I sigh and roll over and turn the light off. Bella in my arms is definitely the perfect ending to the perfect day.
My mind drifts back to the night in my dreams; Bella awkwardly letting herself out of the limosuine in those death-trap shoes that Alice forced her into. Her brown hair shiny and curly and just all over sexy like the rest of her is. Her plump lips with a light pink tint, taunting me all the more.
She threw herself into my arms as soon as she walked through the door of my house; ignoring all others. She feathered butterfly kisses all over my face and neck and then my hands and breathed that she missed me. I told her I missed her too and took her face in my hands and kissed her with everything I had. I didn't care that Charlie and Carlisle and Esme were standing by, watching. In fact, it motivated me even more. It was like saying "You can't break us".
She looked so beautiful. Even Charlie overcame his emotional-avoiding issues to tell her that. My mother whispered in my ear that Bella was "perfect," and that she was glad we "finally woke up and realised what everyone else had known all along." Carlisle – now that fucker, I kept at bay. I gave him a few smug glances that said "fuck you, I love her," but apart from that, barely acknowledged his presence.
Alice and Rosalie were in a photo-taking frenzy and poor Jazz and Em got stuck in the middle. I was thankful my girl wasn't like them. Instead, we sat on my back terrace. Bella sipped on chardonnay, while I had a coke. My mother wasn't going to let me have any alcohol, but I wasn't really complaining. I didn't need it with my Bella high anyway.
The function centre where the prom was held was pretty nice by Forks standards too. Of course, there were cheezy balloons and sponged-blue photo backgrounds, but it wouldn't be prom without all that shit. I also convinced Bella to dance with me. "No, Edward," she had protested at first with a growl. She looked too fucking cute when she was trying to be defiant.
"Yes, Bella," I'd retorted. "It's all in the leading." With that, I lifted her up and set her feet on top of mine.
We didn't move from the dance floor until it was time to go.
I was in my happy-Bella-bubble.
I awake and glance at the clock which reads 10am. Bella begins to stir beside me . Unlike the majority of our grade, however, she wont be waking up with any post-coital glow or anger or tears or whatever the hell reaction people have. Not that she didn't push it last night. She'd ground herself into me and then I yawned, feigning tiredness. In reality, I had all of the post-graduation festivies planned. I respect her enough to not just spread her legs at any time because she's willing.
Bella yawns beside me and then rubs her eyes. I run my hand through her silky hair and she looks up at me, still fucking beaming.
"Hey," she sighs. "Did you sleep well?"
"I always do with you by my side," I respond. Bella giggles and then plants a light kiss on my cheek before jumping up from the bed. She's wearing only some black lacy panties and my shirt from last night. It'd be so easy to drag her back to bed and bend.....Before I can continue that though, Bella twirls around and looks at me. "Whatchu thinking about?" She probes.
"You," I reply honestly.
"What specifically about me?"
"Graduation."
"Me too." She giggles and turns towards the bathroom. I'm always thinking about graduation. I'm worried and excited and a whole lot of shit keeps going through my head. I feel like a girl, but it's kind of a fucking big deal. Sex is something i've done with girls and it's meant absolutely nothing to me. It's not something I used to associate with love, just as a means of getting off.
Until Bella, that is.
But then what if it is the same? Then what?
I can't think about that shit though because I love Bella. So I don't, I force it to the back of my mind like I do with all my other problems. I have a nonsensical tendancy to avoid confronting my personal demons.
When Bella walks back from the bathroom, her hair wet, I realise i've probably been mind-whining to myself for quite a while and probably should've seen if she wanted me to join her in the shower. Too late now. She doesn't seem to care, so I jump up from the bed and walk over to the bathroom so I can have a shower myself.
***
The weeks easily move along and suddenly, graduation is tomorrow. That's pretty effin scary.
The education system is all I can remember for so long. Seeing my friends everyday. Bella. Class. Being spoon-fed all the bullshit we needed to pass our exams. All done. Now there's Dartmouth, serious studying but still Bella. My room smells like Bella; my pillow smells like her strawberry shampoo. My sheets smell like the freesia scent she seems to just naturally have.
I've even noticed she's keeping a toothbrush in my bathroom. Her purple one sits next to my blue one. She has shampoo here. She hogs the blankets, but doesn't sleep under them. She giggled in her sleep the other day. Her hair even clogs up my sink on occasion, but I can't bring myself to give a fuck because it's all Bella and I love everything Bella. How much I love her is ...indescribable. I just love her.
The idea of making love with my Bella is a somewhat frightening concept. As much as we both want it, how can I truly seperate it from 'fucking'? I've fucked a lot of girls. But this is different. It will hurt her and it'll be emotional and i'm taking away her virginity. What if she were to wake up one day, even while we're in our apartment together in Dartmouth and decide she didn't love me? She regretted it all. Of course, there'd be my own suffering, but I could never endure hers.
The day of graduation, I wake up alone because Charlie got pissy Bella was home less and less so she thought it best to stay there before he got too into 'enforcing the rules'. I shower. I try to change my wild hair with no such luck. I brush my teeth. I spritz some of that smelly stuff Bella complimented on my wrists and neck. I change into whatever Alice has laid out for me, then Alice, Esme, The Doctor and myself load into the Mercedes and head over to the school. As a family because Esme's all in to that perfect family shit. Bloody Facade.
We pull into the parking lot, five cars down from where Charlie's police cruiser has just pulled in. I run down to Bella and she jumps out from the car and run towards me, where I take her in my arms and hug her tightly, effectively lifting her off the ground. She lets out a little squeal of excitement and I let go of her, placing her down. Her father looks about ready to detach my head from my body, but keeps his mouth shut and walks over to my parents. I come from a good family, so I know that soothes him.
"Morning, Chief," I greet him.
"Edward," he says curtly, but he's giving me a look that says I WILL SHOOT YOU IF YOU VIOLATE MY DAUGHTER. He's pretty scary considering the man owns a gun and all.
Our families extend the normal greetings, et cetera, then we hall pack into the school gym. Names are being called, the A's, the B's, the C's, which includes Alice and myself. I'm not overly sentimental, but walking up on the stage feels amazing, like i've actually managed to accomplish something, like i'm not a total perpetual fuck-up. Even Carlisle looks proud, but i'm still pissed at him for doubting mine and Bella's relationship.
The H's come soon, too. Jasper. Rose. Then the M's. Emmett. Finally, the S's.
My Bella walks up the stairs and onto the stage behind Jessica, looking very determined not to fall. She doesn't. My girl walks right up there and collects her diploma, a big grin plastered on her face as she takes in her environment. Then we're all done. Graduated. We now hold that piece of paper we've worked towards for years. Adults. College soon. It's kind of overwhelming.
I'm surprised that I don't see James and Victoria here. Apparently, they failed to acquire the required credits to graduate. Unlucky fuckers. I can't pity them, though. As long as I'm away from people like them, i'll be sweet. And so long as I have Bella by my side, too.
Bella walks towards Charlie, all smiles, so I follow her lead and find Esme and Bitchlisle.
Esme hugs me, "I'm so proud of you." She's glowing. She's happy. It's great. So I hug her back and tell her i'm happy I got my shit together. I thank her for being a great mom, because she really is.
"Son," it's Carlisle. "Good job."
"Thanks," I mumble. I don't really care what he has to say.
"I'm sorry about what I said about you and Bella. It was completely uncalled for. It should've been completely obvious to me how well you fit together."
He actually admitted he was wrong? Well throw me down and fuck me side ways.
"Thanks, Dad," I say. "I appreciate that." He offers me a hug and then Bella is walking over to us with Charlie. She hugs my mom and father, both of whom look upon her with glowing expressions. I figure Carlisle actually means what he says. I do appreciate it. Bella and I part ways, both of us going home for a meal with our families.
I'm nervous as I'm waiting to go pick Bella up. I have condoms. I have something for us to eat. I have the keys for the place we're staying. I have everything i'll need, i'm sure. It still can't stop the nerves. It can't stop me from being plagued with doubt. I need Bella, she calms me except this time she's the reason i'm nervous.
It's five to five and I told Bella i'd be at her place at five, so now I know I have to leave. I grab my stuff for the night and walk slowly out to the Volvo. Thanks to the clouds, it's dark in Forks. I refuse to think of that as a bad sign, however. It reassures me things are right, because everything is consistent in Forks. The weather, the gloom....therefore, everything with Bella and I should be fine, right?
Bella is waiting outside when I arrive at hers, for which i'm very thankful. I really wasn't looking forward to any awkward conversations with Charlie. She runs towards my car and doesn't wait for me to get out and open her door for her, she just eagerly slides in. She's smiling a huge smile and giggling and she grabs my hand as I drive out of her street.
"I love you," she says. I tell her I love her, too.
She asks where we're going. Always so curious. "Curiosity killed the cat," I say and she pouts. She grabs my thigh and stares out the window for the rest of the journey. When I lead us into the national park, she raises her eybrows at her surroundings and throws me a questioning glance. I smile and say nothing.
"Isn't this illegal?" She questions.
"No," I tell her, "not if you own a bit of the land in here."
We continue down a dirt road until finally, the turn off for our destination is approaching. I pull the car over and grab our small amount of luggage from the car and then I take Bella's hand and lead her down a grassy path. I know she can hear the water running because I can. It's pretty exciting to be sharing this with her.
We reach the bank of the river and Bella looks worried. "Are we camping?" she asks, to which I laugh.
"No, but if you come just down here there's a boat," I tell her.
I lead her further down the path until we reach a little dingy which is tied up to a post. I load Bella and our luggage into it and we cruise around the corner for a few minutes until we reach our destination; Isle Esme.
It's not an actual island, of course. Well it kind of is. It's a free standing piece of land in between the two banks which holds a small cabin. My father built it for my mom, I tell Bella and she sighs. "It's beautiful, Edward. So incredibly perfect. Thank you for bringing me here and sharing this with me."
I tie the boat up and then unlock the cabin, taking mine and Bella's stuff with me while she dances around the cabin and examining each of the rooms; two bedrooms, a kitchen, a bathroom and dining/sitting room. Not a lot, but still it's perfect. I like the life I live, it's spoiled and luxurious, but sometimes I think about living here with my girl. Living off the land, making love. That would be the life. If only life wouldn't continue to move around us.
When Bella locates the master bedroom, she sits down on the middle of the bed, nervously playing with the duvet and I notice that her hand is shaking. "This is really sweet, Edward," she says.
"You deserve the best," I tell her while I try to think of a way to make her relax.
I approach the bed and sit down on the edge beside her. She's still shaking, so I take her hand and pretend not to to notice.
"You okay?"
"Yeah," she murmers. "I'm a bit nervous."
"You don't need to be."
"What if....I mean what if I'm bad at this, if I do something wrong?"
"You won't be. You'll be fine, but if you are this nervous then i'm fine with not doing it. I'm with you because I love you, Bella. Nothing will change that."
"I really want to do this with you, Edward," she sighs.
"Don't feel that you have to, okay?" I let go her hand and wrap my arm around her shoulders. "How about I make us some dinner and then we'll just see how the night progresses?"
"Okay," she says as she takes my hand and I lift her from the bed.
We make pizzas together and sit down at the dining room table, before moving to the couch and putting the TV on. Bella suggests a movie and I tell her, whatever she wants, we'll do. She browses through the titles on the shelf before deciding on Romeo and Juliet which i'm sure she's done just to torment me, but if it helps take off the edge for her, then i'll endure it.
And I do.
The whole fucking movie with it's crazy talking and Leonardo DiCaprio and guns instead of swords and Hawaiian shirts, I take it all. Bella loves this movie, she informs me. She giggles at the scowl on my face so I tickle her ferosciously. I'm stronger, she can't get away. She laughs and kicks at me before I relent and pick her up from the couch, carrying her to the bedroom. I've momentarily forgotten why we're at this cabin, forgotten that this isn't just something fun for Bella and I.
Maybe that's a good thing.
Bella looks more relaxed than before as I lower her to the bed. Her eyes are wide, but they don't seem hesitant or nervous anymore. I can only hear our breathing and the noise of me falling onto the bed beside her. I pull Bella into me and lightly press my lips to hers. She reponds by moving her hands to my chest and eagerly continuing the kiss. I run my hands up and down her arms, while she moves her hands to my hair.
"Edward," she moans. "Please. I want to."
Okay, shit. Keep it together.
I continue to kiss her, because i'm not done with her lips yet, but eventually she forces me away so she can pull off her shirt, revealing her black lace bra. Her chest is heaving, her breasts rising and falling. "I love you," I whisper before resuming the kiss. I moved my hand down to lighly cup Bella's clothed breast and felt her breath hitch against my lips.
"Edward," she murmers, pulling away from my lips. "You have too many clothes on."
I chuckle before leaning back so Bella can attack the buttons on my shirt. In her haste, she fails to actually undo any of them and becomes frustrated, so I take hold of her wrists and move them to her sides before easily undoing my shirt myself.
Bella runs her hands up and down my chest, lightly nipping at my neck before descending to kiss at my bellybutton, then stopping at the buckle of my pants. "Edward," she murmers again. "Still too many clothes." A soft giggle falls from her plump lips as she fiddles with the buckle. "Off, please."
I laugh at her demand, but jump up from the bed and comply.
Bella pulls her own jeans off. I wanted to do that, but she's standing before me in black lace so I kind of forget about anything else. "Stunning," I say. Bella walks backwards until the back of her knees hit the edge of the bed and she easily falls backwards onto it. I proceed towards her, in nothing but my boxer-briefs and position myself on top of her, resting on my arms so as to not put any of my weight on her.
She woves her little hands in my hair and kisses me like i'm her oxygen and my body responds because I know what's going to happen next. I know Bella can feel it too because she moves her hips up to create some friction against my hardened Edward-junior.
"Edward," Bella pants. "I need you. Inside of me."
I let go of her breast and look down at her heaving form, "you sure?"
"I've never been more sure of anything."
I tell her it may hurt, but that doesn't deter her. She continues to scratch at my chest and nip at my neck, whilst our hips move together continuing to make that beautiful friction before latching her lips onto mine. I'm determined to make her feel pleasure before what is inevitably going to be somewhat awkward and painful.
I allow my lips to leave hers, trailing down her neck to her breasts. I take one of her pert nipples into my mouth, then make quick work of the bra and throw it off with some assistance from a very eager Bella. I run one of my hands down her chest, over her stomach and then finally; let it lie at the juncture between her thighs. She eagerly arches into me, allowing me to remove her panties easily and I move my head to suck her freed breast once again, swirling my tongue over her nipple.
I run my fingers along her slick folds before groaning, "You're so wet for me, baby." She moans incoherently as I spread the wetness of her sex around and gently rub two of my fingers on her clit. She reponds by moaning and moving her hands to tightly yank at my hair. Thats one way I know she's enjoying something; hair pulling. I change the position of my fingers so my thumb is working at Bella's clit, earning a throaty moan from her.
"Edward, Edward, Edward." It's like a chant as I slowly push two fingers into her core.
I continue my ministrations on her folds, whilst teasing her breasts with my tongue and I can feel her clenching around my fingers. She's close. I work at her clit quickly whilst thrusting my fingers in and out of her entrance while she begins to shake underneath me. "Ed....a....ward!" She cries. "Aaaaaaahhhhh."
She drops her head back down and exhales loudly and I flop down on the bed beside her while she catches her breath.
After allowing Bella a few moments to recover, I turn and move on top of her and we both know it; this is it.
I snatch a condom from the drawer and settle myself between Bella's legs and take a hold of myself to guide me towards her warm folds, lightly grazing my tip across them before slowly pushing in slightly. "It's alright," Bella encourages, so I move inside of her further. And it feels fucking amazing already. Warm. Tight. Wet. Bella. And i'm only half way in. I push my entire length into Bella and then look down at her to determine her reaction.
Her eyes are shut tightly and her mouth is slightly parted. Pain.
"I just need a moment to adjust."
I kiss her forehead lightly, stroke her hair and she asks me to move. I slowly pull back, then move forward again cautiously. "It's fine, Edward. Go faster."
Slowly and gently, I begin moving inside of her. It's hard to maintain the slow pace 'cause it feels so fucking amazing, but I don't want to inflict any unneccesary pain on my beautiful blushing Bella. She begins to relax, but doesn't look to be exactly enjoying it. I know she won't find it overly pleasurable the first time, but I want nothing more than all the good things for her.
She lets out a soft sigh and I can feel her little body moving, her hips rising to meet my thrusts. She still looks a bit uncomfortable, but her expression has softened. "Edward," she moans. "A little bit faster."
I pick up the pace and it feels even better and Bella's moving around and she's letting out little sighs and I know I'm close. It feels too good to last ages. I groan and pump a little harder with encouragement from Bella before pumping my spunk right into her, well, into the condom I should say. "Bella," I groan as I collapse on the bed beside her, exhausted from my intense orgasm.
Bella runs her hands through my hair as I come down from my high.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm good," Bella replies.
"I'm sorry it wasn't as good for you as it was for me."
"It was perfect, just being joined with you. Besides, there's always round two." She smirks then lets out a soft giggle.
"I love you," I tell her.
"Good. Then it's enough. I love you too and nothing else matters."
THE END