Disclaimer: I disclaim all ownership to the characters of Final Fantasy VII.

A/N: Due to the K+ rating, I edited out all the potentially profane words. Ex: The obvious comparisons to heck, darn, poop. You get the idea :)

Family Day

Cloud yanked off the small thread that was hanging off from his sleeve, tossing it aside and brushing off the wrinkles he had made. After dusting off his shirt and shoulders, he let out a deep sigh, causing Tifa to giggle slightly.

"Are you actually nervous about this?" she teased, taking another bite from her granola bar.

Cloud shrugged, and followed her down the crowded hallway.

It was Family Day at Marlene's school, and all the first graders' parents had been invited to share the day with their children. Eventually, the kids would go up in front of their class, and share a little thing or two about their family. Marlene Wallace, whose father Barret was currently out of town, had invited Tifa and Cloud to be her "parents" for Family Day, and though Cloud hadn't been too thrilled about the idea, Tifa dragged him along anyway.

They reached room number twelve, and Tifa turned the knob, heading in and leaving a rather tense Cloud out in the hall. She paused at the door and sighed. "Come on Cloud, you promised her! Now come on!"

Cloud winced as Tifa grabbed his button-up shirt (which he had ironed himself!), and followed her into the room of children and parents. They were immediately greeted by a woman (who Cloud assumed to be the teacher), and shook hands.

"Hi, there, Mr. and Mrs…" the teacher paused, expecting an introduction.

Cloud and Tifa exchanged glances rather awkwardly, but Tifa was quick to return a smile to the teacher. "You can just call me Tifa," she said. "And this is Cloud."

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you Tifa and Cloud. I'm Ms. Hileman."

Cloud let out a brief smirk, but the awkwardness was killing him.

What the heck was he doing in an elementary school?!

"Pardon me for asking, but who is your child?" Ms. Hileman asked, politely.

Tifa smiled, pointing to the little brown-haired girl near the corner. "Marlene," she said.

"Ah, I should've known! She looks just like her father!"

Cloud nearly fell over, but Tifa let out a giggle.

After joining Marlene at her desk, Cloud and Tifa couldn't help but gape around at the colorful decorations and posters that were hung up around the walls. Cloud noticed that he and Tifa were probably the youngest parents here.

Or…guardians.

"Okay, first, I'd like to thank each and every one of you for arriving here today!" Ms. Hileman announced, smiling happily. Cloud wondered if she actually enjoyed her job as a first grade teacher.

"Our first activity will require some teamwork with your families! Can anyone guess what we're going to do?"

One of the first grade boys raised his hand, shouting, "Oh, I know! I know!"

"Yes, Aryn, what do you think?"

"We're gonna make ice-cweem!"

Cloud grimaced.

He hated lisps.

"Oh, you're very close, Aryn! How about another try?"

The boy tapped at his head with a finger, apparently expressing his current state of thinking. "Um…how…about…a burfday cake?"

Cloud winced again. Oh the pain…

"Close!" the teacher yelled. "We're making cupcakes! Now I want all of you to hold hands with your parents and line up in front of the door, okay? We're taking a field trip to the school kitchen! Who's the line leader today?"

Cupcakes? Cloud felt a shiver go up his spine. The last time he had attempted to help Tifa in the kitchen…

…well…it hadn't turned out pretty.

Marlene cheerfully shot her arm up. "I'm the line leader!"

"Oh, that's right! Marlene! Will you and your parents please stand near the door?"

Cloud didn't have anything against holding hands. Or being the line leader. In fact, he was even looking forward to eating some cupcakes, as long as Tifa and Marlene did the cooking. Or baking.

The only thing Cloud feared was a possible interaction with the kid with the lisp. Oh how he hated lisps.

In the school kitchen, Tifa and Marlene had indeed done all the baking, and their cupcakes had turned out the best, though Cloud wasn't too surprised. As he munched on the rainbow sprinkled cupcakes, he found it astonishing how mature Marlene was compared to the other first graders.

Soon after the kitchen had been cleaned, they all returned to the class, and Cloud was again forced to sit on the incredibly small chair. Good thing Barret didn't have to come, he thought. The idea tickled his mind for a while, causing him to smile at the thought of Barret baking cookies with other parents.

When all the children had settled down, Ms. Hileman called out names, and each family was asked to go up in front of the class and talk about…well…their family.

"My big brother's on his high school track team!" the girl said, holding hands with her mother. "He's gonna be a Chocobo jockey when he grows up!"

Cloud winced as Tifa pinched him on the arm, glaring at him. "Stop dozing off," she whispered, and returned her gaze to the family up front.

"Hey guys, I'm Eirika's dad. My brother and I run a business downtown, ya might've heard of it. It's on the highest floor of the Edge Turn Mall. Can anyone guess what it is?"

"Edge Brewin' Coffee Shop!" one of the kids shouted.

Cloud yawned. This was ridiculous.

But things truly got worse when his greatest fear—the lisp child—was called to the front of the class. Cloud gritted his teeth, praying to the heavens for deliverance from the grueling pain.

"My thithter hath a pet gowldfith named Fwank! I wike to feed him when she's not home!"

After fifteen minutes of agonizing torture, Cloud sighed out in relief when the family of doom returned to their seats. But the Higher Powers must've had a grudge against the pitiful Cloud Strife, as Marlene's family was called up next. The awkwardness was just about to begin.

Marlene twirled her fingers around, eyeing her audience timidly as she spoke. "This is my family. My…um…mom…my mom's name is Tifa…and my d-dad…his name is Cloud."

Some of the children giggled. "That's a funny name!"

Cloud felt his cheeks getting hot.

"We live in a bar called Seventh Heaven. It's kinda far from the school, since it's close to the city borders. Um…my…br-brother…Denzel lives with us, and…sometimes, we have friends come over from lotsa different places. Like there's this one man named Vincent…"

Cloud swallowed. No, Marlene! Don't mention Vincent! No!

"He's kinda scary at first, and he's kinda shy, but…after a while, you get used to his quietness and he's really not a bad person. I mean…actually, he's really nice! But he always wears the same clothes! And I think he needs to get a haircut, but I know he never will. Oh, and there's Yuffie. She's a little loud, but she's funny too!"

Marlene's voice was slowly rising in volume. Apparently, she was getting used to this.

"And Nanaki! Oh, gosh, he's a little scary at first, too, but he's the most adorable cat ever! Oh, and he talks!"

The children gasped.

"Cid is a little mean, and he's a potty mouth, but I guess he can be kinda nice, too."

After successfully summarizing the biographical information of everyone she knew, Marlene stopped. Cloud hoped to God that Tifa would speak next, and sighed in relief when she began to talk.

"Hey everyone! My name's Tifa, and I'm Marlene's mom!"

Cloud heard one of the kids say, "She's pretty!" but then another one quickly retaliated, shouting, "Ew! You like girls?!"

"Like Marlene said earlier, I own a diner slash bar about ten miles from here. It's actually a really nice place, and you guys should stop by sometime. I'll give you some free yogurt if you do!"

Cloud choked. Tifa! What are you doing?!

"Anyways, that's pretty much it for me."

It took Cloud a while to figure out that it was now his turn to speak. After clearing his throat for about ten seconds and shuffling his sleeves, he began to mumble something, but Ms. Hileman kindly interrupted, asking him to speak a little louder.

"I'm Cloud," he said, staring at the lisp kid. "Cloud Strife. Um…I…um…I run a delivery service."

Pause.

Silence.

"It's…uh…it's called Strife Delivery Service…"

Another pause.

"Because…my last name is Strife…"

Awkward silence.

Cloud could hear Tifa struggling to hold back laughter.

"I…like…um…"

He scratched his head, trying to think of something to say.

"I like Chocobo racing."

Silence.

"And…um…"

More silence.

"I…"

Even more silence.

"Tifa sometimes calls me Chocobo head…"

Giggling from the audience.

"Because my hair…"

Silence.

"It looks like a Chocobo."

Slight giggling. Then more silence.

"That's all."

After receiving an awkward applause, Cloud slowly returned to his seat, unaware of the dangerously red color of his face.

When Family Day had finally come to an end, Cloud Strife and his family left the school. Tifa and Marlene took turns telling Denzel about their day, and Cloud waved his hand frantically to catch a taxi. Upon their arrival at Seventh Heaven, the kids quickly ran into their rooms to play a game of Life, while Tifa made some coffee for Cloud.

"Tifa?" he called, his body sprawled out onto the couch.

"Yeah?"

"Did I look that dumb up there?"

Tifa smiled, handing him a warm mug of fresh black coffee.

"No," she said. "You were a great parent."