"I heard part of the examination's going to be oral."

Junpei managed not to snicker at the word "oral" and nodded. "Yeah, that's right."

"Okay, then give me a phrase. Let me see how you do." Akihiko's face was only partially visible over his textbook.

Junpei wracked his brains. "Um…'Hit me baby, one more time.'" He flinched away as the textbook came down on his head. "OW! No, that was the phrase! The phrase!"

"I know. I just can't believe you said something that stupid."

"I just can't think of anything…oh! 'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.' Ha! There. Awesome, right?" Junpei swelled with pride.

Akihiko wasn't impressed. "Except that it sounded awful."

Junpei scowled. "Yeah, well, why the hell do I need to know how to speak English anyway? It's not like I'm gonna go anywhere I'll have to use it."

"Do you want to pass, or not?"

"…" Junpei knew that Akihiko had him there. He really, really needed to pass this next exam.

"Good. Now, give me another one."

"Um." Junpei cast his mind back through all the American action movies he'd seen. " 'Do you feel lucky, punk?'"

Akihiko's textbook lowered a little. "Hey…I saw that one."

Junpei beamed up at him. "Yeah, wasn't that movie awesome?" He was dismayed when Akihiko smacked him again.

"Dammit Junpei…are movies and music videos the only things rattling around in that stupid head of yours?"

In an injured voice, Junpei muttered, "I thought we had really connected there for a moment, Senpai. Then you ruined it."

"You can't use a sentence like that on a test."

Junpei was scandalized. "It's Dirty fucking Harry, man! Come on!"

Akihiko shook his head firmly. "Something else. You guys have had to practice plenty of stupid phrases in class, use one of those if you have to."

"Stupid is right…'Please pass the salt.' 'I want him to do his best.' Christ!" Junpei flopped back onto the carpet irritably.

Akihiko shrugged. "Nobody said studying was fun."

Junpei sat up again and said in English, " 'I hate studying. English sucks.'"

Akihiko's mouth twitched a little but he managed to keep a straight face. " 'That's too damned bad.'" His English pronunciation was, of course, nearly perfect.

Junpei wasn't beaten yet, however. " 'I hope you die in a fire.'"

" 'If you don't knock it off I'm going to kick your ass.'"

" 'You and what army.'"

They stopped, glaring at each other. It was a draw. Then Junpei suddenly broke into a grin.

"You know you sound sexy when you curse in another language."

Akihiko sighed and shut his textbook. "…not this again."

"Say 'Me love you long time.' It'll fulfill all my fantasies."

Akihiko's jaw set. "That's it. Say your prayers."

Junpei scooted away quickly. "Kill me now and it'll haunt your permanent record!"

"But it'll fulfill all my fantasies." Akihiko echoed his words with terrifying seriousness. He grabbed Junpei and pinned him up against the wall. "…Any last words?"

Junpei gulped. "Um…'I regret that I only have one life to give for my country.'"

Akihiko's expression lightened. "That was a lot better! See, you can do it if you try."

Junpei just blinked at him. Even though he hadn't been particularly eager to die, he couldn't help being a little disappointed. Akihiko's response felt anticlimactic. "What happened to all that rage?"

Akihiko turned back towards his desk. "You pissed me off for a second but I'm back on track now. Come on, let's move on to the next section."

Junpei tensed up. Oh god, not more studying. Anything but that. He hastily yanked Akihiko back and did the one thing that he was absolutely positive would make Akihiko mad at him again. It worked, of course.

Akihiko slammed him back against the wall. "I thought you learned your lesson the first time!"

Junpei regained his breath. "You should know better. Ain't we here studying 'cause I'm a slow learner?"

"That's right." Akihiko gritted his teeth, obviously fighting to reign in his temper. "So let's study."

Junpei made his voice serious. "I promise to study hard…if you let me have my wicked way with you first."

Akihiko snapped, "Of course not!" He paused just slightly before he said it, though.

Junpei knew enough by now to recognize a green light when he saw one. There was plenty of more arguing after that, of course, but that just made it fun. After the sun had set outside the window, Junpei was back on the floor and Akihiko was back at his desk. There were a few minor differences this time, though. Akihiko's school tie was missing and Junpei's jacket was lying crumpled up over in the corner.

Akihiko glanced over the next exercise in the textbook. "Okay…give me an example of a rhetorical question."

"That's a question I already know the answer to, right?"

Akihiko nodded.

Junpei shut his eyes and grinned to himself. " 'Was it good for you?'"