I'm sorry for such a delayed chapter. I guess you can notice a difference in my writing skill this time around. I tried, I know this is some-what short compared to my other chapters, please don't be hard on me (: I tried my very best. I hope you really enjoy this. Still, I'm so sorry it's short x___x
Disclaimer: My views of these characters are mine and mine only. If you have a problem with the way I display their feelings, please find another fanfiction to take it out on. Thank you (: I do this to please myself and my readers.
3. There's Only You
Un-desired chills collected through his body, his nose and appendages curling up from the sudden frost that burned through his throat and his fingers. Small tufts of hair fluttered in front of his face, gliding across his eye-lids, blowing with each little breath of air that seeped through his lungs. It was dark, and it was quiet. An unfamiliar shifting of air subsided alongside him, un-familiar warmth that appeared closer to him than he once recognized before. Were I am...? The boy thought, his heart thundering immensely in his chest, as he sighed longing sighs of comfort.
The young child pondered on where his previous whereabouts, now his current. How did he get home so quickly? His memory was all a haze to him, only remembering where he actually was before he managed to get home. Then it hit him like the sudden surprise of a rock meeting his head. School, He thought, thinking about where he previously was. Then there were those tears, tears that were cried only for one person, for one dream that he faced. He didn't understand it, but he remembered running out of his classroom, out into the rain. That's where his little memory stopped giving him information.
Did I fall asleep...? He asked himself, shifting his weight uncomfortably, feeling a hard barrier stopping him from stretching further, and his limbs were feeling oddly crunched together. The presence of a hand lingering on his waist woke him into awareness, and his eyes opened slightly. "Soubi..?" Ritsuka whispered unconsciously, rubbing his eyelids, taking away the un-wanted sleep from his eyes.
"Mmm..." Was his reply, and Ritsuka gasped softly, looking around the room. It obviously wasn't his, only a dumb person could assume it was their own.
"How did I get here..." The boy whispered, tucking his forehead into the crevice of Soubi's chin and neck, feeling warmth in the protection.
"I'm sorry for not coming sooner..." Soubi whispered, tightening his grasp around the teenager, burying his nose into the silky blackness of hair. "If I had known school was ending sooner..."
Immediately Ritsuka pulled back, his attention fixated on the sleepy blond male. "School didn't end early, Soubi. I ran out of class. It was last period." He grunted, placing both of his hands onto the older male's chest and pushed back, prying his body out of Soubi's arms, and moved away. "Ouch.." He groaned, pressing the palm of his hand to his forehead and closed his eyes. Sudden sneezes began to shoot through his body and he arched forwards, trying to ease the sudden pain.
"Ritsuka." A hand was placed onto his shoulder and he glanced towards the male, his icy blue irises gleaming in the soft fluorescence of the apartment room. "You're sick..." Sorrow filled the male's eyes as he kissed the back of the boys head, and he slid out from the bed. "I'll return." His voice was blanketed with wariness.
"Sick." He coughed forcefully, not exactly remembering the last time he really was sick, thinking about the many times he lied to stay out of school, to stay away from Soubi.
The dream from his class seemed to be playing over and over continuously in his mind, sending waves of agony throughout his chest. He didn't want to go through that again, no, not until you got some explanations on the subject. His breathing paced into a calm pattern, and he glanced over to the clock. Two AM. Ritsuka breathed through his teeth, arching his head backwards, feeling the pain from a sudden migraine turning his thoughts into fire.
"Take this." Soubi's sudden voice caught him off guard and he jumped shakily, turning around to face him, almost as to be sure it was really him. "Thank you.." He muttered softly, taking the glass of water and medication the male offered him, tipping the pills into his mouth and washed it down with a swig of water. Both of their eyes met for a fraction of time, and then he smiled, looking down into his lap.
"How long have I been here?" He finally asked, brushing away an ebony lock and blinked his eyes closed for a moment, opening them again to stare into the glass.
"Since five this afternoon," Soubi hesitated, sitting down onto the bed beside Ritsuka and placed a hand over the hand that was placed on the bed beside him. "You were sitting outside on the sidewalk, apparently waiting for me. Completely unconscious, thought you had died..." His voice went quiet at the end of the sentence and he squinted slightly as if saying it hurt him entirely. "Got you here and you've been sleeping ever since." Then he smiled, running his fingers across his wrist and pulled back quickly, placing his hand into his lap.
His fingers traced the outline of the glass, listening to the small grinding sound of the tattered crystal rubbing off onto the pads of his fingertips. It didn't surprise him that he'd been here so long; Soubi wouldn't have woken him up anyways, even if it was necessary. He was sure his sickness would pass in the next day or so, he was afraid of sleeping though, consciously anyways; especially if he was going to face another dream. Maybe if he talked to someone, his doctor had been absent for quite some time now, so she was out of the subject.
Droplets from the water attached themselves to his finger tip, and he brought it up in front of his eyes, examining the transparent dot. His eyes stared right back at him, however the faintness of his skin shone through the water as well, making his eye a haze of lilac. When he glanced towards Soubi, his gaze drifted towards his sapphire irises, frowning slightly at the sadness in the male's eyes.
"I'm fine." He grunted, pressing the droplet to his lips and placed the cup of water onto the end table, scooting closer to the male and wrapped his arm around his waist. "You don't need to worry about me, okay? If there's anyone who needs to be worried about, it's you."
"Don't be foolish," Soubi interjected, glancing down to him beneath him, placing his hand on the crown of Ritsuka's head, rubbing his head softly. "I can take care of myself, don't you bother trying to help me." He whispered with a sigh, resting his head onto Ritsuka's head.
The two of them sat there in silence, allowing the sound of rain that continued to pound through the panes to be the only noise to be heard of, other than their breathing. It's weird, Ritsuka thought. If I make the move first, it always feel as if it's the right thing to do, like I'm helping him... but when he starts... His train of thought shifted when his cell phone began to vibrate.
"Your cell phone has been going crazy ever since I found you. Maybe it's your girlfriend." Soubi grinned, leaning forwards and grabbing onto the cell, handing it to the boy.
"Thank you." He snapped, flipping it open. A smile curved on his lips as he read it, hiding it from Soubi's eyes as he turned away from him, holding the screen close to his face.
'Ritsuka, I'm sorry,' it said. 'I thought I was helping, it was improper for me to do anything when you were feeling terrible. If you're not coming to school tomorrow, I understand. I will gather your things for you. Love you as a friend, Ritsuka Xoxo. – Chi'
"Told you." Soubi cooed, standing up from the bed and walked over to the chair by his desk, sitting down on it and balanced on the back two legs. "You know, she's a real cute girl, why not, huh?" His voice seemed saddened, however it seemed to be mono-toned, as well.
"She loves me as a friend Soubi." Ritsuka groaned, beginning to type a response to her, and then shut it closed, tucking it into his pant pocket. "I don't understand why you're so desperate for me to have a girlfriend, I mean, I'm only 14." He coughed softly, balling his hand up in front of his mouth and sighed, placing both of his hands opposite of him.
Soubi grimaced. "I'm not desperate, I'm just saying..." he trailed off and glanced towards the clock. "Why'd you choose such an awkward time to wake up...?"
"I would've slept longer if you weren't in the bed with me, moron." Ritsuka hissed, standing up and walked over to Soubi, punching him lightly in the shoulder. "Besides, if I've been sleeping since five like you said, I've gotten enough sleep already."
The man nodded calmly and then stood up, walking out of the room and into the room where he held all of his food. Normally, it'd be considered a kitchen, but with the lack of things a kitchen would usually contain, it was just a room. "Are you hungry?" He called, glancing over his shoulder towards Ritsuka who stood in the doorway, glancing around.
"A little," He mumbled, pressing his lips together in a thin line and stepped through the opening and into the room, beginning to venture through some cupboards. "Since when do you actually have bread?" He asked, bewildered. Soubi wasn't much of the grain type of person.
"When you started calling this place your home, Ritsuka," He replied, opening the fridge and pulled out some eggs and milk, cheese, and other stuff. "Feel like omelets?" he asked, pushing the door closed with his foot and walked into the middle of the room.
Ritsuka nodded hungrily, sitting down in a chair on the farthest wall, beside a table. Being here did feel like home, even if his mother was a little less on the crazy side, he still felt welcomed here. It always had this presence that made him feel like he was meant to be here, instead of at home. Maybe, one day, he could live here, just as friends. The thought made him smile to himself, pressing his fingers to his lips and closed his eyes, his ears beginning to perk up in satisfaction.
"Thinking about me?" Soubi chuckled, pulling out a frying pan from the cupboard. He frowned softly.
"You ruined my happy thoughts." He whined, a smile curving on his lips as he brushed his finger tips along his face and placed them into his lap.
"They must've been good." The man sighed, tying his hair up into a ponytail and flipped an egg into the pan.
"You're supposed to crack the egg first." Ritsuka stated, getting up off the chair.
Soubi chuckled. "What's wrong with some crunch? You know, the shell is actually healthier for you, Ritsuka." He smiled, picking the egg out of the pan and tossed it into the garbage. "If you're going to complain, you do it yourself."
Ritsuka grunted, pushing the male aside. "Maybe I will." His hand quickly cracked a few eggs into the pan, quickly setting everything into place, pouring in the milk, and preparing the cheese. This came to him naturally, fending for himself because his mother refusing to make anything for the 'fake' Ritsuka.
"You're still the same." Soubi smiled.
"So, why were you outside anyways, Ritsuka?"
Words seemed to be at a loss for him, and he stared blankly at the floor, rubbing his toes into the carpet of the apartment flooring. He didn't want to tell him, it was kind of terrifying, even thinking about what his dream was. It seemed so real, way too real to even think of it to be a silly little dream. Then his eyes flicked up to Soubi's agony suddenly swarming into his eyes, almost terrorizing.
"Ritsuka?" Soubi leaned forward, noticing the horror that filled in the teenager's eyes. "What's wrong...?"
Ritsuka looked away again, feeling that when he looked away, it calmed him down. "It's nothing, forget it." He whispered, running his fingers across the slices in his arms from his nails, feeling the slight gouges in his flesh. He jumped back slightly from Soubi's sudden closeness.
"Tell me, please. I want to be able to help..." The words were almost pleading, as if he was more or less demanding him.
"Soubi.." Ritsuka whispered. "Is it possible, to have premonitions? Or is that, just you know, something people assume. That it feels so real, but, really... it's not." He looked into the males eyes, filled with despair. Remembering his dream sent shudders of fear through him, fearing the outcome himself. "Hah, or am I completely insane..?" His voice trembled as he spoke, a small terrified laugh running through his voice back, and tears began to form in his eyes.
Soubi watched him seriously, not finding it hilarious at all. "What are you having premonitions about, Ritsuka?" He asked him calmly, rubbing his shoulders as if to soothe him, but it really only made Ritsuka more afraid of everything.
A tear dripped from his cheek to his hand, his eyes wide with fear. "Forget it Soubi. Please..." The tone of his voice was almost pleading, it was pleading, just for everyone's safety.
Fingers wiped away his tears and he leaned his face into the comforting hand, grabbing onto it, keeping it fastened to his cheek. "Please Ritsuka; I want you to tell me..." The blond's whispers were petrifying, and it only made the boy choke on his sudden sobs.
Small kisses were planted onto the blonds' hand. "I'm probably over-reacting," He whispered, continuing to kiss the others palm, finding comfort in the touch of him. When he opened his eyes to read Soubi's, he saw only determination and sorrow. "Fine..." He sighed, giving the man's hand back to him, putting both of his own into his lap, digging them deep into the crevice where his two legs met.
The boy told the other everything, trying to fit the words between sobs, trying to get every single detail through to him. It was terrifying to even speak it, much less feel a part of it when asleep. The blood, the tears, the coldness of death; everything appeared to feel real in his dream, and he was afraid, so terribly afraid. Even so, the other listened intently, caressing the others face as he sobbed deeply, his breaths becoming rigid and frail. Then he was stopped.
"Ritsuka please, it's nothing to worry about, nothing's going to happen to me, to you; to us." He whispered, bringing the boy close to him and pressed his lips onto his forehead. Soubi wanted to believe it himself. Dreams really were terrifying, especially when it contained deaths, deaths of people who meant the world to you. "Don't pay attention to it... it's alright..." He hushed Ritsuka, pulling him into his arms, wrapping his warm, comforting limbs around the boy's small body.
He choked softly before he began. "What happens if it does..? What can we do... what I can do... Soubi, I don't want to kill you... I would never kill you... what would make me kill you...?" All of his sentences were scattered, without much of a meaning to any of them. "Just don't leave me... I want to stay by your side... to make sure nothing happens... Please..." Ritsuka pleaded, his hands gripping onto the fabric of Soubi's shirt, spreading his hand out onto the small of his back. "I love you Soubi... I'd never want you to die..."
A smile curved on Soubi's lips, burrowing his mouth into the boy's hair and kissed the top of his head, closing his eyes for a fraction of time. At a loss for words, words that would comfort Ritsuka into believing nothing is going to happen. Though it was like telling a diseased girl that she was going to survive, she wasn't going to die. That was a lie though, people were meant to die eventually, and it was just his time; maybe. "We can stop it if we can. We'll stop it together, Ritsuka. I'll always stay by your side, because I love you, Ritsuka..."
Gracefully Ritsuka's face was lifted from the man's chest, his bright irises glittering in the dim lights of the room. He knew what was coming next, it always seemed to happen this way, even if he was prepared for it or not. This one was fiercer and desiring, a kiss full of fire and longing. Small little whimpers subsided through Ritsuka's lungs, kissing the males back with a force he never thought he had to offer. It was like their last goodbye, but he didn't want it to be, he wanted to stay here, like this, and protect Soubi with what he actually had.
When their faces pulled apart, Ritsuka's eyes were locked on the eyes in front of him, still filled with pain and terror. "I won't let anything happen to you Soubi..." He promised, brushing a golden strand of hair away from the man's cheek. "Nothing is going to harm you, not while I'm around..." Those words were true, and as he pressed his face into Soubi's chest, the thudding belonged to him. He knew it was true, because no other heart beat just for him.
Soubi's remained sealed, pondering on a proper response to Ritsuka. It was hard, he couldn't take the pain that tore his heart into small pieces. He wanted to believe that Ritsuka could save him, that their lives could remain perfect and unharmed. It seemed possible in the eyes of a younger boy, but to him, someone more experienced, more involved with life, thought otherwise.
Slowly his eyes closed, and he lowered his head, pressing his warm forehead against Ritsuka's, fighting back the sudden urge to cry. "I trust you Ritsuka..." He smiled, his lips partly only slightly. "I always will,".
Fragments of hair fluttered across his cheeks, the warmth that was growing throughout his limbs and cheeks was a feeling he hadn't remembered in a long time. His lips, determined and protective. 'Soubi...' When he finally came to realization, his hands were clenched together behind his head, being held tightly within the older mans. Ritsuka's breathing patterns were faulty, and his whole entire body tingled with a desire for yearning. What was this feeling?
Difficultly his eyes opened, blond hair was draped over his face, and the first thing he saw was Soubi, his face pressed to his. Suddenly he realized what was happening, and all at once brought his hands underneath Soubi, pushing him off of him. "Get off Soubi!" His voice echoed against the stark white walls, and out through the open window. For a moment, he hadn't understood what was happening. Catching his breath wasn't the hard part.
'How long had we been kissing....?' A hand came to his forehead, feeling his burning flesh scorch away at his palm, sending signals of illness through him. "Soubi...?" His eyes scanned over towards the male who sat at the edge of his bed, his hands linked together, troubled.
Soubi didn't look his way immediately, but he arched his head slightly, and then looked over to him. There was pain, and torture that flooded through his irises. « I'm scared, Ritsuka... » He turned, grabbing onto his hands, and pressed his forehead against them. Ritsuka gasped softly, leaning forward, the heat coming from Soubi was unexplainable. "I'm scared of losing you..."
Ritsuka opened his mouth to speak, however only a small crack of words came out. "Didn't you hear me earlier Soubi!? Nothing is going to happen! I promise, okay...?" Small little droplets of tears welled up in his eyes, and he leaned towards the man. "I'm sorry for pushing you off of me, I... Didn't know what you were doing."
"No," He interrupted. "That was my fault, I shouldn't have taken advantage of you while you were sleeping. I'm an idiot Ritsuka... punish me..." Ritsuka could feel the saddness and fear developing in Soubi's words, it just made his heart weaker, and more vulnerable to his actions.
His head began to shake, almost too quickly. "No no no! Soubi, I will never punish you... what's going on!? Why are you acting like this...?" As soon as he said that, Soubi stood up, and walked out of the room. "Where are you going? Soubi!?" The effort it took to pull the blanket from his legs shouldn't have been as difficult as it was, and it caused him to stumble. His fall was saved by Soubi who rushed back into the room, tears falling down his face.
"Sou...bi?" A hand was placed on the small of his back as his body was pulled close. The stickiness of Soubi's tears trickled down the side of his neck, caused him to flinch at the touch. "What's gotten into you...?" Unconsciously his hand began to stroke the back of the males head. Each little strand of blond, the silkiness and smoothness of it, sent trails of electrifying sensations through Ritsuka's fingertips, and into his body.
It was dark, it was very dark. Rain hit the roof like rocks hitting the roof of a car, loud and angrily. There they sat though, in the middle of the floor, clenching onto eachother as if their life depended on it. Ritsuka felt like crying with Soubi, but he didn't understand. He didn't understand the pain he was enduring. He would never understand what it'd be like to lose someone, or have the feeling of lose someone they loved dearly. His own realization hit him suddenly. 'Seimei...'
His grip tightened, and he could feel the power of longing bubble up inside of him. "Soubi, I will never let anything to happen to us... I..." He closed his eyes tightly, letting pain rush through his veins, spewing out through his hands. The male in his arms tensed, feeling the sudden aggressiveness from Ritsuka.
"Ritsuka.... you're hurting me...." He whispered, grabbing onto the boys forceps, lifting his arms onto his shoulders, letting their eyes meet. "If you saw... what I saw..." He shook his head, closing his eyes again and kissed the teenagers nose, refusing to look at him directly.
Ritsuka grimaced, wrapping his arms around Soubi's neck, pressing his lips gently against Soubi's forehead. "I love you so much... Soubi..." He breathed, collapsing into the males arms weakly, feeling all of his energy being drained from those simple words.
Bright blue orbs widened with shock, this boy, so weak from illness, a confession that would only be made by accident. However, a smile formed across his lips. "I know you do, Ritsuka.." He muttered, holding the boy close, rocking him back and forth in a motherly form. "I'll always protect you, my Sacrifice."
Droplets of rain glued themselves the glass of the window, threatening to mistake themselves for brutal rain. However, Soubi wasn't convinced, and he smirked delicately at the water specimens. There was a sigh that subsided through his lungs as he looked towards the door, he'd expected someone to come knocking by now. His fingers stroked Ritsuka's hand softly, caressing the small lines of childhood on his palm. When he was a child, life was difficult, and seeing someone like Ritsuka, so frail and independent, made him wish his youth once more.
He sighed, pressing the side of his face against the sheets of his own bed. It was weird having Ritsuka in it, it wasn't something he was necessarily used to. 'I hope to get used to it... once day.' He wondered what life could be like, with Ritsuka at his sides at all times. It seemed like a miracle, but then again, it seemed too much like a dream to become reality.
Sunlight shone through the curtains, sending beams of angelic light onto the floor boards of Soubi's apartment. It was too warm, almost too warm to be this time of morning. He wanted to be apart of Ritsuka, to understand him, to breathe him. There wasn't anything he wouldn't do for him, it seemed... that he was caring for Ritsuka more than Seimei.
Soubi closed his eyes, rubbing the younger boys hand until he pulled away, realizing Ritsuka had unconsciously gripped onto him. A smile formed across his delicate lips as he kissed his hand, closing his eyes with sincerity and compassion. "I love you, Ritsuka." And he stood up, stretching his long slender arms above his head and walked out of the room. Hair drifted past his shoulders as he paced, closing his eyes as he tucked his hands into his pant pocket, and leaned his face over the kitchen sink, heaving out his worst.
'It makes me sick Ritsuka, look what you're doing to me...' He squeezed his eyes shut, wiping his mouth with his sleeve, and drifted towards the floor, keeping his hands tightly on the edge of the counter. 'I can't help but be afraid for you... I'm afraid of what you can do... I'm afraid of you taking me away from you...'
It was quiet for a moment, silence filled each room of the small apartment, and then there was a slam of the front door. Immediately he rose, running out of the kitchen, his legs moving faster than his feet. "Ritsuka!? What is i-!?" He stopped, and examined the figure at the door, that suddenly collapsed at the mat, hair falling around her head.
"Help me.... Please.." Katsuka's voice was shrill and filled with fear. Blood was dripping from her arms and legs, and there were scratches all along her face. "I can't... fight alone... They've come for me.." Then her conciousness disappeared within the silence of his confusion.