A/N: Doomthatimpends and Yumi... sorry to tease you two with slow updates, I am however related to Jordan though so what do you expect. Thanks guys. Also thankyou to Movethosehips for reviewing as well. Enjoy the new chapter guys...

Chapter Three

Karma God's

The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing... not healing, not curing... that is a friend who cares.

Henri Nouwen

Of course I should have known that I wouldn't get away with it. The Karma God's don't really like me, so their not willing to let things like lying to Carla go, no matter how good the cause is.

"So you've fed him…" I asked Doctor Cox, phone pressed to my ear.

"Yes Suzy." The answers were slow, disjointed, but not really particularly drunk sounding.

"So he's fine and you're fine…" I sound whiny and needy, but I've been on edge all night… Hell Carla had to stop me from sending the wrong patient to surgery earlier. Though, would removing a perfectly healthy kidney really be that bad… argh probably, law suits and stuff and Ted would probably black-out again...

"Yes Bianca."

"Okay well guess then I'll be over after my shift, just for a few minutes to check in…" I sighed, knowing that it wasn't my problem… and yet it was Doctor Cox. He always showed up just in time to help me…

"Super Gillian." He breezed and then hung up. I dropped the receiver back into the phone cradle.

"Alight Bambi spill it!" JD jumped and wheeled around on Carla. Her arms were crossed over her chest. He cursed the Karma god's, when really maybe it was his own fault… he'd used the phone at the nurse's station and was now wondering why he'd ever made that choice. He just made it way too easy; he was literally starting to screw himself over.

"Spill what… I'm not doing anything." He tried for casual and got something close to shifty bordering on hysterical.

"You have been walking around this place all day… with a vacant head." Carla glared and JD frowned.

"You know, the lights are on, but you're not in." She explained, he kept with the blank stare.

"Oh come on Bambi you come in this morning completely disheveled… you walk around all day with a head full of air and now your ringing Doctor Cox… asking if, I would guess, that Jordan's son is okay…" Maybe she's an evil vampire lord with mind reading powers… probably not… Oh god she's tapping her foot.

JD grabbed her wrist and dragged her into an empty hospital room.

"Bambi what are you doing!" She snapped heaving her wrist from his hand.

"What?" She said when he shushed her.

"Jordan's… dead…" He said bluntly, because he couldn't deal with Doctor Cox and Carla at the same time, it was too draining.

"What…" It was too exhausting just dealing with Cox.

"Jordan decided that she had mommy issues and ditched Dr. Cox and went to Paris. Only she didn't make it that far 'cos the plane crashed… as they do and now Dr. Cox is a basket case and I spent the day there and he's completely nuts… Like not even normal nuts… Just like fruitcake nuts… And I used Jordan's shower stuff which is why I smell like cheap coconuts and…"

"Okay Bambi sit down and breathe before you pass out." Carla said pushing him down onto the sofa. She gives it a few moments thought.

"Okay here's what I think you should do…" JD would fall to the floor and kiss Carla's shoes right now, because she knows what to do, Carla always knows what to do.

"I think you should…" She jerks to a stop and starts to inspect her fingernails and JD has that sickening sinking feeling, as Carla's eyes dart up to meet his.

Oh God Bambi's giving me that little lost lamb look. Like I'm supposed to automatically just have all the answers to his problems. Why don't I just decide to hold the keys to heaven while I'm at it!

"I got nothing…" I confess falling down beside him, because it's impossible to know what to do where Perry's concerned. The man is so damn private and touchy and defensive. I can't even believe that Jordan's dead…

"Nothing at all?" He frowns in that helpless little hopeful voice. I open my mouth, trying to just will something insightful to come out. I just wind up looking like some demented fish in the end.

"Well… I… think he just needs you to be there." Ha… look I bounce back… okay not really.

"Be there?" JD frowned…

"Yeah, Dr. Cox doesn't know how to ask for help and more than that he doesn't usually take it even when it's offered… so if he's talking to you JD… just let him ramble. I mean if you want to… do you…"

I would use this same look if Carla had sprouted a second head. Because Carla and Dr. Cox are best friends… or at least as close as the man has and she has no idea what to do… Carla doesn't know what to do! What the hell chance do I have?

"Yeah I'm going to head over after work, just to kind of check in on him and the baby…" JD sighed pushing hair behind his ear.

"Oh god I forgot about the baby… how's he doing?" Carla asked mind whirling. JD shrugged picking at his nails.

"Jordan's baby was fine when I left and when I called Dr. Cox said he was okay and that he's feeding him… but ya know he was drunk the entire time I was there and I know he needs help, but I don't know what to do Carla."

"Nurse Espinosa." Dr. Kelso's voice suddenly cuts through the room; he looms in the door, with Ted lurking behind him.

"Yes Sir?" She says jumping to her feet.

"Has Dr. Cox happened to call you in regards to the second shift he's missed?" He snaps, foul mood in full swing.

"No Sir but…" Carla bites her lip trying to come up with some bullshit story for the other.

"Hah! Ted can I fire him because of that?" He says joyously.

"Well technically…" Ted drones.

"He's sick Dr. Kelso, really sick." JD cuts in.

"Oh really Dr. Dorian… mind telling me the name of this convenient aliment?" Kelso glared and JD froze a little.

"Leprosy-" He stuttered.

"It's chicken pox Sir." Carla cut in, stepping in front of JD.

"At his age?" Kelso glared.

"Yes… his second time too." Carla breathed.

"I sent JD over after his shift last night because Dr. Cox hadn't shown for work and he's quite ill… JD tried to convince him to come in for tests but Dr. Cox wants to wait a while longer, to see if he'll get any worse…" JD nodded along mindlessly with her.

"I don't think you can fire him now Sir… not without getting sued." Ted informs and Kelso grimaces, looking like Christmas has just been cancelled.

"Damn it." He grumbles.

"If it's any consolation, he is really sick sir… He may possibly die…" JD rambles.

"Well… there is always that…" Dr. Kelso sighs, looking thoughtful.

"Come along Ted."

-.-.-

JD had that minor moment of panic again as he knocked on Dr. Cox's door. It opens a deal faster than last time and the other looks in worse shape then when he left. Perry doesn't bother to ask him why he's there, just walks away from the door, leaving it wide open. JD takes it as an invite and steps inside, closing the door behind him.

"Hey where's the baby?" JD questions as Dr. Cox stretches out across the lounge.

"I French roasted him and then ate his fingers." Perry says dully, watching the TV. JD starts a little when he first says it and then just stops and stares at the other, trying to figure out whether he's really drunk and sleep deprived, or whether he's been crying. He hopes like hell it's the first one.

"I bathed him and put him in his crib." Dr. Cox mumbles and JD can't help but notice that there's no glass sitting near him.

He decides he'll sleep better if he doesn't know and moves through to check in on the baby. The kid's laying face up staring at the ceiling, hooded eyes a deep vivid blue, toes curling slowly on each foot. JD brushes his forehead lightly and then moves to pick up the emptied bottle beside his crib, leftover milk pooling in the bottom.

He pushes on his way out, stopped by a white baby book lying open on the dresser… He looks over the silver spiked writing that fills the page, knowing that it's Jordan whose written it, because Dr. Cox's lettering is softer, with loops.

Date of Birth, Time, Hospital… First feeding, first nap… JD feels a sick ache as he turns to a blank page… First yawn… He closed the book up and went to toss the bottle into the sink. He opens the fridge and finds fresh bottles already made… JD shifts uncomfortably, because something's off, he can just feel it.

He heads back into the lounge and the other is still slumped on the couch, not so unusual really.

"Perry if you don't get that thing out of my face I swear…" A much younger looking Jordan threatens on the TV screen, JD feels something claw at the bottom of his stomach.

"You okay Dr. Cox?" I ask going to sit beside him, in the broadest sense of the word, because there's him, a massive gap and then me, wedged awkwardly near the arm.

"I'm super." He mumbles and I continue to stare, not wanting to watch old home movies of his, relieved when he turns them off a moment later.

"There's nothing wrong?" I ask stupidly.

"Awww Sally… question is… 'What's right?'." He grits and I try to sink even further into the upholstery as he pushes himself up across the seats, head finally coming to rest against my knees… Dr. Cox's head is in my lap… if I could move I'd be looking out the window for falling brimstone.

"Ben called… They've found Jordan's…" He cuts off into a drawn out hiss, hand rubbing absently across my kneecaps.

"Well yeah Dr. Cox they were bound to…" I finally say, trying to work out what's…

"I thought she might've gotten a different plane…" Oooohhh... He eyes screw shut for a moment and my hand drops unconsciously to stroke through his hair.

"No fights this time Ella, no second chances, its just over…" I'm sorry just doesn't seem to cut it.