Chapter Seven
Out On The Couch
Love that we cannot have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest...
"Shit." His shoulder's slump as I cradle my bleeding hand.
"Give me a look Tiffany." He orders and usually I'd just let him, only right now I'm feeling pretty petulant, I'm also shaking slightly, jittery like I've had one cup of coffee too many.
"Mind your own business." There a childish satisfaction in using his words. Dr. Cox rolls his eyes and grabs my wrist, fingers warm against mine. It feels strange, wrong and I fight not to squirm.
"It's just a scratch." He pushes me over and down onto the couch, sitting beside me.
"I'm supposed to be the one kissing your-"
"Okay newbie so that everything here is as clear as possible, I'm taping gauze to your hand, I am not, have not and nor will I ever kiss anything of yours." Okay so it was a stupid thing to say, from now on I'll leave childhood sayings out of general conversation. To my credit though I leave the correction unsaid, no sense in stirring an already murky pot. Especially when Dr. Cox is in the position to break one of my fingers-
"And so I don't have to break anything that belongs to you, you will not ever kiss anything of mine." See, see.
"Like I really wanna kiss anything of yours-" My mentor everyone, absolutely hilarious, I watch his long fingers smooth over the sides of the gauze.
"OH Jenny, 'course you do."
"What's that supposed to mean?" It's not the sentence that's unusual but the tone, kind of too insinuating to be just simple taunting. I look up at cool, clear eyes that I wish were less perceptive.
-.-.-
"Sleeping Beauty, nap time is most definitely over now and I don't care how long you lay there I am most definitely not kissing you." JD pulled away from the hand shaking him from sleep, dream refusing to let go from the corners of his mind.
"Sleeping Beauty?" JD inched away from Dr. Cox even before his mind had fully come up with why. He sat up and crossed his legs on the lounge, weary. The other must have noticed, clearing his throat and stepping back a little. JD figured acknowledgement was probably about as close to an apology as he'd ever get.
"You've been out most of the day."
"Damn it." After interning for a year JD went straight to panic, reaching blindly for his shoes beside the couch.
"Calm down you neurotic deer in headlights, its only 3.30-Shifts not until 7- so- come have something to eat." JD stayed curled on the couch for a moment after Dr. Cox retreated in the direction of the kitchen, trying to sort out his head.
Okay so got the cut on my hand… He stomped off to bed; I fixed my own hand, made a dent in cleaning the kitchen, and then crashed on the couch for… 14 hours… Had completely pointless and yet somehow disturbing dream.
I had a fight with Doctor Cox- and lived… argh no one would believe it.
JD pulled himself up from the couch and tried to scrub the doubts from his head via his eyes as he padded towards the kitchen. It was an anxious trip and he half chickened-out by ducking past the open entryway and heading for the bathroom, okay so the rather pressing urge to make use of the bathroom came into play as well but ultimately he was stalling. Was considering just leaving up until the point where he splashed cold water over his face and realised that it wasn't really a fruitful sounding option.
The walk back the kitchen was just as painful as the initial one to the bathroom, though now that JD's head was a little clearer there was the distinct smell of Chinese food to comfort him.
"Don't lurk Whitney it's not an attractive quality in a girl like you." JD sighed outside the door and ambled in slowly, shoulder brushing the wall.
"I was not lurking and Whitney can be a boy's name." He grumbled.
"But you're not a boy Gwen." JD glared at his back, Dr. Cox standing at the counter pouring a cup of coffee; little baby no-name resting in a seat on the countertop a few inches down from him. There was a bucket of glass on the side of the sink, the counters, and floor now pristine, JD had started cleaning last night but had left the bulk of it.
"I'm pretty sure the food isn't going to eat you newbie, no matter how much you may want the cheap thrill." He turned and set the cup on the table in front of JD, feet bare and still bandaged and JD could tell by how he stood that it hurt to put weight on them. His shoulders were slumped slightly and for the first time, JD actually thought he looked close to his age. JD pulled open a plastic container of fried rice and picked at it for a moment.
"Dr. Cox I'm sorry." He said finally, feeling guilty and awkward, he'd lost Jordan and JD had called him names.
"For what?" The eyes were a muted kind of blue.
"Ya know for just being a brat, I shouldn't have shouted last night I mean with Jordan and I just-"
"Listen newbie, since your having trouble grasping this let me make the whole concept clearer for you. I get drunk and abusive, then I apologise, not you."
"Well yeah but-"
"No Buts, Jordan's dead-" JD's stomach twisted at the crass mention.
"I have to deal with that- and with her son and hell I can't do that by crawling into the bottom of a bottle." It was a raw confession and JD, taken by surprise, goes back to glaring at his food.
"So- are you… you gotta be okay now- or…"
"I don't know." He went back to the still hot kettle and starting making another cup of coffee.
"Guess I've gotta work out shorter shift hours with Kelso and find a nanny- with any luck I'll be back at work in a fortnight." He finds it easier to talk if he doesn't actually have to look at JD.
"Doesn't have to be that quick, Carla and I, more Carla than me, have Dr. Kelso convinced that you're on your deathbed and everyone will understand if you need more time to-"
"That's sweet Claudette, but if I sit around here any longer and brood- I really will end up hurling myself off of the hospital roof." He set his own cup heavily on the table.
"Or you know a much higher building that will actually kill me." The phone rang shrilly, interrupting what was shaping up to be the most awkward moment of JD's life. It was a short call; Dr. Cox's answers a series of grunts and other uncategorised noises, the phone dropping back into the cradle with a dull thud, Dr. Cox going to lean against the table once more, stirring idly at his black coffee.
"Jordan's funeral's on Saturday." He said quietly and JD floundered for a moment, fork digging even further into the rice.
"I could go with you." He offered timidly, unsure of where he and Dr. Cox stood at the moment.
"Are you gonna cry on my shoulder Danielle?" The voice is rough and JD doesn't want to look closer and find out whether the eyes are actually misty or if it's just a trick of the light.
"Yeah and blow my nose on your sleeve."
"You do that and I'll choke you."