A/N: This chapter is basically the response chapter to the first chapter. First we had Fai's impression of Kurogane and now we have Kurogane's impression of Fai. I hope you'll notice that some events that are highlighted for Fai, weren't for Kurogane, and vise-versa.

I'm taking requests for the genre of the next chapter. We can have fluff, angst, comedy, general, I have stories planned out for each of those. So if you have a preference, tell me.

Read, review, enjoy.

I had a very slight first impression of the Mage. The only thought that flitted across my mind was that he was a demon of some sort. His hair, it was so bright that until I saw the two kids, I was sure that he was some sort of an oni.

It didn't much matter really, I was angry, pissed, upset, betrayed. All I wanted was to go back to Nihon. I just wanted to go back to Tomoyo and yell at her for sending me away. The blond, the kid, and the princess meant nothing to me really. Until we stated our wishes.

Fai and I were complete opposites. He didn't want to go home and I did. All by itself I found that extremely strange, this combined with the blond hair, and the strange and completely inappriopiret name he called me a few minutes after...well, it made me extremely wary of him.

In the very beginning of our trip I would watch him when he thought I wasn't looking. He smiled constantly, like a fool, but I quickly figured out that he was really anything but a fool. The way he spoke, laughed, joked, and made off like everything was a game were all the real game to him. I wasn't extactly sure what the rules or conditions of his game were, but he was not the fool he made himself out to be.

In reality he was very wise, knowledgable, understanding, and serious. I couldn't see enough of him to know what was underneath that stupid smile, but I knew that there was something...tears, anger, lonliness, I wasn't sure.

I didn't think that I would learn terribly much by watching him, so after Hanshin I stopped. We were forced together quite often and I would talk to him, yell at him for his stupid jokes, get angry at his lack of caring, and I would listen carefully to the words he said. He often made it seem like he had little or nothing to say that was specific to anything. His words were very carefully chosen, as if he lay in bed at night thinking over every question that might be asked and rehersed in his mind exactly what he would say in return to each of those questions. Jokes were a constant mask that he hid himself behind, trying to fool everyone around him, and for the most part, it worked.

In Koryo I caught my first glimse at his real self for just a split second. "Personally, I dislike staying in one place."

"Why's that?" This question had caught the Mage off guard, I could tell because he gave me the most serious response he'd given me yet. It wasn't a lie, it was straight truth, he had never expected this to come up, and in the position we'd been in at the time, he didn't have the time to come up with one single lie to cover himself, so he told me about the sleeping man who would come after him if he stayed in one place for too long.

After that, his annoyances started to become less and less, and although I didn't mean to, I watched him more and more. This wasn't to say that he never annoyed me, when we got to Outo and he came up with those Puppy names, that drove me through the roof. It was such an insult to my pride, and the fact that he didn't care at all! And his attitude, what annoyed me now was not so much his jokes anymore, but his lack of respect, especially for himself.

I hadn't noticed his lack of respect for himself until he hurt his legs by allowing himself to be hit by an oni. It angered me. I literally felt the anger rise up in me, and it wasn't the normal anger I felt toward him. This anger was familiar, but I had never felt it toward anyone I hadn't spent years with before. It was that kind of anger I would feel when Father wouldn't let me go with him to protect Mother and Suwa. It was the kind of anger I felt when other ninja's let an enemy too close to Princess Tomoyo. It was that anger that came up when I hadn't protected a precious person properly.

The blond? A precious person? I didn't understand why I felt this way to him, but he was precious to me, and I had failed to protect him properly. It made me angry, so I took all this out on him, lecturing him and telling him what I thought of people who lost hope before it was gone.

He laughed, "That means I'm that type of person you hate the most!" He seemed happy about it, but he misunderstood. I didn't hate him. I hated his actions, the way he looked at life. I wanted him to see all hope wasn't gone, I wanted him to see that someone, perhaps me, could help him.

We continued through Outo until Seishiro started all his problems. We came home to find that he had 'killed' Fai. At the time I had not known that the world wasn't real, so I had no idea that Fai hadn't really died.

I had kept my cool, letting Syaoran go do what he said needed to. Once Syaoran had been out the door, I had slammed my fist into a table, breaking it. That feeling of not protecting him, and a feeling of sorrow filled me.

Needless to say I had been very pleased to learn that he was okay, even if I hadn't shown it.

I noticed and picked at little things in the next couple of worlds, the most memorable of these being the name of Ashura, and how it had made Fai's face go more pale than it already was. I had thought that Fai was as white as paper before, now I knew that this was most certainly not the case, it could be whiter.

When we arrived in Yama, Fai and I had not been able to comunicate. Obviously this was a problem, but little by little as we were taken to the camp, I figured out that Fai meant to seem mute, unable to talk. I had thought him not able to do it, but day by day he never spoke a word or made a sound.

Being silent brought out a little bit more of the real him. He still grinned and made expressions that were supposed to be laughs, but since he couldn't talk, all of his other facades faded away. I watched him again. It was like watching a baby. Fai tried to walk on his own. Fai tried to walk, fell, crawled. He would crawl on his own in the dark reaching blindly for someone, anyone who would not laugh at his state of being and help him learn to walk.

As I watched I found myself desperately wanting to take his hands, pull him to his feet, and be that someone to teach him to put one foot in front of the other.

After we left Yama, the Mage went right back to his jokes and names, obviously trying to make up for all the time that he had missed out on. It was too late though, even if I did still get annoyed and yell at him, I'd seen too much, too much for him to completely avoid me any longer.

More and more I would catch him on this and that and more and more I would see his real face. That face that held no smile. The face of the man that tried and failed to walk on his own.

The longer we traveled together the more I saw of him, the more protective I became of him, but it was no longer just that protection of someone precious, it was somehow more. I no longer just wanted to help him walk, or to see him respect himself, or to keep him unharmed, I wanted to somehow...be precious to him too. I didn't want these feelings to be one-sided. I wanted him to willingly come to me and say, 'Help me.' or 'Stay by my side.'

So I decided that if this were to ever happen, I wanted to see it, so I would wait for him.

In Recourt, he confused me. All through the world it was fine until the very end when he whistled for real. From that whistle had come magic that had allowed us exit. That in and of itself confused me. Through our journey Fai had refused to use magic. It had been his own little taboo. Something he had kept to himself, like his real self, or his past. Why had he chosen to involve his precious magic in our lives now?

At first I thought it was merely him trying to walk on his own, but an answer to a question threw this off. "But magic is magic, isn't it?"

"Maybe." This was a calculated answer, something he expected me to ask. Something he knew would come from my, or Syaoran's lips. I knew that if it had been just his failing attempt to walk by himself that he would have come up with some elaborate answer, just like he always did. Or at the very least he would have said something like, 'I don't know.' A one word answer was something that Fai rarely did unless it was yes or no.

So I was stumped as to why he had used magic. It was just so very unlike him to do. To go against what he said to risk his masks by doing something he normally wouldn't. It bothered me, and so I kept on thinking about it.

As I sat in Tokyo watching him take care of the kids I figured it out, and almost immeadiately I called on it. He had listened to me, laughed and clapped, saying what a good 'Daddy' I was. This annoyed me. I wanted to hear him call me by name. I didn't even bother me anymore when he called me something idiotic when I wasn't talking about something serious, but this was serious! He'd used his magic god damnnit! It was something completely serious yet he couldn't even call me by my real name when we spoke of serious matters!

He could either be serious and play around or be that joking idiot! But now he was trying to play both, it had to stop! I could understand if something in his past had made him unsure of who he was and what he could be, but he had to choose! So I told him so. I told him so and then I left him to figure it out.

At first I thought he had decided to continue being that grinning idiot, but then it became appearent my reasoning was wrong. He went to help the kids and told me to protect the person who was in the most danger. He and the kid came back and they went down into that basement, to Fai's complete destruction. When I saw his face as that kid dragged him along eating his eye that feeling that I had to protect this precious person came over me again and I did.

Once I got a hold of that Mage I didn't let go. I carried him around like a doll in my arms until the crisis was over and then I set him down on the bed and listened. I heard. I grew angry. He wanted to die. How could he? Drag me...drag those kids along all that time, make us like him, make us care for him and then just leave us like that. How could he? How dare he?

I remember my fist crushing a portion of the wall. I remember grabbing him and threatning to punch him. All he could say was that he was fucking sorry. If he was really fucking sorry he'd live! Or at least try to live! Had my words to him in Outo mean nothing to him?! Did he want me to hate him because of his devil may care attitude?!

I demanded that the witch somehow save him. She told me it was possible but the price was much to high for me to pay. I had never hated the price for wishes more than I had at that very moment those words left her lips. Not even when I had been forced to give up Ginryu did I hate it as much as I did then.

A spot of hope, I listened, soaked in everyword, relished in them. Every word was a second closer to saving his life. My mind internally cringed when I heard the price it was. To turn him into a vampire. To turn him into what I had originally thought him to be, an oni. I had to turn him into an oni to save him. For a moment my will had wavered. I didn't want to force such a fate as being damnned on him, but there was a loophole. If we could get his eye back he would be okay.

At that moment I told myself that no matter what else happened I would stay by his side, more loyal to him than I had ever been to Tomoyo, until I got his eye back to him. Tomoyo was my true master. She knew my real name, but Fai, Fai had something even more dear I now realized. Fai had my heart craddled between his hands. His face looking down at it and threatning to crush it with every second that he got closer to death.

I couldn't let him die. I would be that hand that would take him, teach him to walk. I would be the one to guide him from the darkness. I would be the one to push him farther into that darkness, but only until I could make sure that the light was suitable for him. Then I would give him the sunlight that he secretly longed for.

As the drops of Kamui's blood dripped from his wrist, onto mine, and into Fai's mouth I apologized in my mind over and over again for doing this to him. I didn't want to torture him so, but even less did I want to watch him, the person I loved, slip from my fingers like droplets of water in a desert.

He screamed. That sound...I could barely stand it. "Hold him down." I immeadiately obeyed. "His body structure is changing, of course it hurts." I felt him claw and grab at me, seeking out someone, anyone who could possibly ease the pain. I knew there was no one who could ease that pain at the moment, I wished I could take it on for myself, anything to stop his screaming. Anything.

He grabbed, clawed, gripped, and climbed on me until his fingers literally bled on my shirt, then suddenly, he slipped down onto the bed. He lifted himself up on his hands, looked at me through pain filled, yellow, and confused eyes. He held this gaze for a moment and then collasped on his side in a sleep that I hoped wouldn't last too long.

When he sat up my heartbeat went up high, but then sunk at the words he spoke to me, "Morning, Kurogane." I admit to wanting him to say my name, it had almost become a dream of mine, but I didn't like it. Those words, they were said in the most warm and friendly fashion, but there was such hate and ice behind them.

I stared at him for a moment. "Don't move." I had to force myself to say that. I wanted to throw myself onto him. I wanted to press him to the bed, kiss his lips passionately and then beg for his forgivness. I wanted to tell him of my plan. I wanted to say, 'Don't hate me. Please. Love me. I'll make you better. Love me. Trust me.'

I didn't say this, I forced myself to tell him to not move. I forced myself to throw a cloak on him so I couldn't see his face and then head out of the room so that I wouldn't do what my body and mind wanted to.

I watch him now. I still want to run up to him, I still want to wrap my arms around him and say, 'You're not alone. I love you. Let me guide you to the light I can see.' I still refuse myself my wish. He hates me, I can't do that. It would hurt much more to hear his words of refusal and hate than it would hurt to never touch his milky smooth skin.

I will wait for the Mage to come to me.