Disclaimer: I own nothing. Everything, except OC's or anything else unrecognizable, belongs to whoever really owns it. Though I am too lazy to point out who those people are, they know who they are.
A/N: Spot the tribute…
Chapter 12
Y is not How Things Happen
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There is a well known pattern at the Copper Coronet. Every night, someone would get hurt. It became apparent during their first night as they gathered around a table for an evening's meal. In contrast to its outside derelict appearance the inside of the inn provided comfortable warmth in a wide, extremely well lit area. Like the massive fest halls of the North, boisterousness, rowdiness and drunkenness were highly encouraged and heavily soaked into the atmosphere.
Running through the center of the hall were two long coal pits that were the source of warmth and tantalizing smells of the Copper Coronet. A number of meats were being slow roasted on a pair of extraordinarily long spits set over the coals, herbs and sauces being carefully basted onto the richly cooked colour of the flesh. Smiles grew on their faces when they first saw such an enticing sight…
… Until they noticed the first entrée to slowly turn over. Their faces turned to disgust as it was revealed that spitted the entire length over the coal pits was the deliciously smelling roast of dogs, cats and rats.
No one from the party touched anything that came from the coal pits though they have had to subdue Pan on occasion to keep her from trying what she dubbed "a local delicacy."
Tables of all sizes and shapes were spread with no discernable pattern, against the walls, between the pits, even atop the stairs. Two sets of stairs led towards the second story balcony, one that was grand in scale right at the center of the hall and the other narrower and seemingly ignorable in the corner shadows.
The odd additions that separated the Copper Coronet from most other inns occupied each corner of the establishment. In one corner there was a circular area, caged off with bars that ran from floor to ceiling but for a single gate. Dark stains spotted the stone tiles and walls and it looked as if patrons unconsciously avoided sitting near there.
In another corner was another circular area elevated lower than the rest of the floor. The entire spot was covered with massive cushions and the heavy scent of incense was always strong. Long silk curtains fell from ceiling to floor, closing off the area with a veil of secrecy. Guarded by two big, intimidating brutes, it seemed to be closed off to the general public and only available to those of higher persuasions.
The shady stairs took up one corner and in the last corner was a wood terraced pyramid about eight feet in height and rising upwards from its pinnacle was a pillar. At the very top rested the namesake of the place, a copper looking coronet. An impressive sized bar with such an array of different liquor bottles as to appear like a glass wall mosaic lay between the corner stairs and the pyramid corner.
Innocent conversations flowed fast and thick.
"… looks like it's gettin' outta hand…"
"… o'er here, lads and bring that…"
"… lot of coin his last two matches and…"
"… where's me grog…?"
"… ain't no guards after midnight bell, so's we…"
"… an' I tells that dwarf-brained idjit-"
"WHAT?! Who ye callin' idjit, idjit!?"
SMASH!
So it was that in a classical example of misinterpreted eavesdropping and a flying chair, a bewildered bar patron enjoying a seemingly harmless conversation with his friends, sparked off an annoyed and tired Korgan into the first of many bar fights to come.
Yoshimo groaned miserably standing beside a fuming Jaheira. More people joined the fight while in one corner they saw Minsc enthusiastically tackle an equally hefty looking half-orc. Korgan had a look of pure joy on his face as he easily swung around the still bewildered and now screaming bar patron by his feet.
Meanwhile Pan shrieked with outrage.
"You brutes! Sexist louts! Why does nobody want to fight me!? Oi! You there! Punch me!"
Tables, mugs, chairs and a few limbs were broken in what quickly tumbled into a massive free-for-all, the many patrons eager to join in the fight simply for the sake of fighting. Oddly enough, neither the bartenders nor any of the other employees did anything to stop the pitched battle. Indeed, they merely watched on, a few of them placing bets with one another while the bartenders remained unmindful, calmly cleaning glasses.
Jaheira muttered darkly to Yoshimo, "I've been in enough tavern brawls to know how this is going to end."
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"OOOHHHH!! MISSH DAISHY! YOUSE SHO LUVERLY!
SHHOOOOO LUVERLYYYY!
LET'SH DRINK WITH MEEEEEE!
MISHH DAAAIIISSSYYYYYY!"
"It's rather… odd, isn't it?"
"What, that there's actually something worse than a banshee's wail?"
The fight had somehow evolved to the point where everybody present, some nursing injuries, drunkenly slurred together a rousing chorus of a popular drinking song, "Drinking with Miss Daisy," as if they were old comrades and not beating the stuffing out of each other moments ago.
Sitting at one of the few remaining tables Minsc and Pan chattered pleasantly, despite the ranger's black eye and the alchemist's proudly bleeding nose, about the pros and cons of using a broken bottle as a makeshift shiv. Jaheira adamantly refused them a sip of healing potion stating that they if they were so eager to join in such barbarous activities they had best learn to live with the consequences.
"BEER AND MISH DAISHY!
BEER AND MISH DAIIIIIISSHYYYYYYYYYY!
I LUV BEER AND MISH DAISHYYY!
BEER OR MISH DAISHY?
BEEEEERRR OOOORRRRRR MISH DAIIIISSHYYYYY?
BEER! BEER! BEER! BEER! BEER!
OOOOOOOOH, WHAT ABOUT MISH DAISHY?"
Trying to ignore the horribly off-key notes, the druid rolled her eyes towards Yoshimo who was thinking that Faerûnians were possibly the worst singers in the entire world, worst than even mute people.
She winced when the chorus hit a horrible pitch, "NO! Ahem. I mean no, though I wouldn't mind that banshee's wail at this point. What I meant is that does it not strike you as odd that the innkeeper or anybody else for that matter, didn't call for the guard? They let the fight continue on causing all kinds of damage and yet not once did they seek a means of ending it. All I've seen them do was offer more drinks."
Yoshimo shrugged, "I've been here a few times and fights are nothing out of the ordinary. Remember, we're still in the slums and the Athkatlan guards are understandably not very popular… or reliable. Perhaps the guards are tired of intervening or the owner simply doesn't want to bother with the authorities," he grinned, adding wryly, "Probably couldn't deal with paperwork required."
Jaheira was still unconvinced, "Still… it must cost them a fortune to repair all the damage. You would think any proper business owner would see how these fights could harm their profits fixing everything."
"I wouldn't worry about that. You saw how quickly they cleared away the pieces and brought in new furniture from behind those doors. I doubt any Amnian would let a little thing like a tavern brawl get in the way of business. Lehtinan seems shrewd enough to invest in keeping such things prepared and ready on hand."
"Lehtinan?"
"The owner of the Copper Coronet. He rarely comes out here but I've seen him once before. Not a pleasant man to be around from what I gathered."
"Hm," the druid grunted before casting a sullen look in his direction.
Curious, the bounty hunter asked, "My friend, did I do something that displeases you?"
Jaheira merely shook her head, "Of all the places you could've brought us to… though I'm little surprised that we'd find others of his ilk here," she said, nodding towards the singing group.
Korgan and the first bar patron he initially smashed with a chair were loudly visible at the center of the happy crowd, their arms around each others shoulders and enthusiastically toasting one another on a fight well done.
"Well… at least we now know he's a baritone, neh?" Yoshimo offered meekly.
The druid's glare was enough to send the bounty hunter off scurrying towards the relative safety of the bar.
"MISH DAISHY, I LUV YOOUUUU….. AAAANNND BEEEEEEEEERRRR!"
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As promised, the next day saw Yoshimo gathering supplies to take to the Planar Sphere. While the bounty hunter would be checking on the knights, Jaheira and the others would be seeking means of acquiring the gold for Gaelan.
When she heard that Yoshimo would be returning to the sphere Pan insisted that she come along. Though reluctant to allow the younger half-elf off alone with the Kara-Turan, Jaheira was, against her better judgement, decided that no harm could come from a simple delivery.
"I am a big girl, Jaheira."
"Remember that we are to meet back here at the Coronet tonight, as soon as both our businesses are concluded, is that clear?"
Pan rolled her eyes impatiently, "Yes, yes, yes, I know, Jaheira, do not worry."
"And what did I say there absolutely shall be nothing of?"
The alchemist mumbled something.
"What's that? I cannot hear you, child," Jaheira persisted sternly.
Sighing, Pan answered, "No taking advantage of Yoshimo if there is no one looking after him."
The bounty hunter almost dropped the parcels of supplies as he overheard their conversation.
"Pardon?"
The alchemist turned wide brown eyes towards him, "Do not worry, Yoshi. Your virtue will be intact around me."
"Ah, Pan-chan, you need not worry about my vir-GAH!"
Minsc strode up, placing a none too gentle grip around the bounty hunter's neck, "Yes. It's best not to let little Pan get the virtue out of you Yoshimo. If Minsc finds out that the little thief allowed himself to be taken advantage of, comrade Jaheira and I will make sure there'll be nothing more to take afterwards."
Jaheira had forgone subtleness and stated, "Consider this a test of your intentions."
A glare emerged in Yoshimo's normally neutral eyes, "My intentions? Have I not proven myself? I have risked my life fighting beside you!"
The druid responded nonplussed, "Don't be silly. Of course we trust you as a comrade. We're just unsure whether we can trust this part of you," she emphasized with a tap of her scimitar on one of the more delicate parts of Yoshimo's lower half.
The bounty hunter gulped, "Ah… those intentions."
"Yes," Jaheira agreed tapping harder causing him to wince, "those intentions."
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The two Knights of Solamnia met the happily bouncing Pan and the more calm approach of Yoshimo by the sphere entrance.
Before they could call out a greeting, the loopy alchemist rushed towards them, planted wet kisses on both their cheeks and then disappeared into the Planar Sphere.
"Hi! Bye bye!"
Bewildered, Reyna turned towards the bounty hunter, "Did she forget something important in there?"
Yoshimo shrugged, "I've learned that it's best to explain Pan's actions as… Pan's actions. Here, I've brought food and a few basic materials to make your stay more comforting."
Onvo gratefully took the large sacks, "Thank you."
The bounty hunter nodded, "You both seem tired. Couldn't sleep easily, neh?"
Both knights seemed weary and large bags appeared under their eyes.
"We… couldn't leave Ancan lying there all night. As soon as you left we gave him a proper rest."
"Ah, I'm sorry to hear that your night wasn't truly over."
Reyna spoke sadly, "We thought it prudent to have asked for all of you to honour his farewell… but we couldn't… let him wait anymore."
Yoshimo said reassuringly, "It is you who knew him best. I'm sure that he didn't mind that his only two companions were there for him in the end. If you'll permit me, I'd like to honour him just the same."
"You needn't even ask," Reyna smiled genuinely, "Come. I'll take you to him."
A while later, the three stood in comfortable room where Valygar had first met the knights. On the ledge above the fireplace were different urns, each one with a Solamnic sword displayed behind it. Carved with care into the wood of the ledge were the words Est Sularus Oth Mithas.
Yoshimo already knew what was in those urns without being told.
"It's tradition to burn the bodies of our fallen and then to scatter the ashes into the wind. We've kept our friends' ashes in the hopes that one day it would be our world's wind that they finally embrace."
The bounty hunter nodded appreciatively, "I am unsure about these lands around here but from where I come from there are similar rituals."
Reyna grinned, "Even across the planes there is familiarity."
"You've lost many companions to this place yet you still decide to stay despite the new world out there," Yoshimo said suddenly, having noticed the number of urns.
Onvo said nothing but kept his sad gaze on the remains of his fallen friends. Reyna spoke though she looked at each urn as if remembering every single detail of who they were.
"We've been in this place for… so long a time. It could be trying at times… but it was here where we not only died… but we lived."
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A few hours later a slightly worried Yoshimo found the alchemist within the lab that had been a part of her fantasies since she first stumbled across it yesterday.
"Now, why didn't I figure you'd be here?"
"Hi, Yoshi! Welcome to heaven," Pan called out absentmindedly without lifting her head from something she was examining.
The giant lab was alive with the sounds of bubbling potions and various machines that hummed with energy. Liquids flowed through spiralling tubes from one beaker to another. There were vats overflowing with coloured smoke and jars filled with everything from slimy to brittle.
The alchemist already had one long table full of used beakers, spilled ingredients and opened scrolls and books. At one end there were a few already completed potions and objects as well as a pile of dripping brown sludge.
"I take it you've been busy, neh?"
"Eeeeeeee!"
He shook his head amusedly, "Pan-chan, don't forget we're to meet the others soon."
"I know, I know, but I am almost finished with this one… whatever it is. Come, watch and be dazzled by my genius!"
Curiously though not without trepidation did Yoshimo approach for a closer look at what she was doing. Between two bottles filled with different liquids was a larger beaker into which Pan was scraping material off what looked like a solid block of lead.
Ssschhss… sschhssss!
A strip of lead, so impossibly thin to be made by hand drifted into the beaker.
For umpteenth time he reluctantly found himself observing the alchemist more intensely than he would like. Despite her rather exuberant nature she worked with delicate grace and steadiness, her hand slowly drawing a file along the flat surface of the block. Such simple gestures and he could not convince himself to turn away.
Her red bangs whose only purpose in life it seemed were to constantly cover one eye. When she was not dashing around blindly or twitching suspiciously, she would have an apparent calm radiating as she shut herself into her own world. Child-like mannerisms, the tip of a tongue unconsciously peeking through lips he knew with certainty had to have a unique taste…
Therein lay his problem, desire that impeded his senses. Closing his eyes he concentrated.
Breathe. Prepare. Mind. Pattern. Focus. Trap. Detach. Hunt.
He repeated the mantra until clarity returned and Yoshimo focussed above the lips and saw the happiness in the one uncovered eye.
"You are stronger than you look."
"Eh? What makes you say that?"
"You cut through that block as easily as if it were cheese."
She giggled, "Heeeeeee, I like cheese. Did you know that if you want the best cheese you have to use the purest ingredients? Uncontaminated, untainted, unblemished. That is the best stuff. Oh, and also fresh horse milk… lots of the stuff."
"Right…"
Ssschsss… sschhsss!
"Anyways, this lead is soft. Like cheese. Plus, every alchemist is only as good as the tools we use. I am sooooo lucky that this place is fresh and dandy and ready and fully equipped to handle me. This blade has to be sharp, oh so very, very, very sharp. It can take months to get the edge right. I bet I could cut you open, switch your heart and colon around and you would not feel a thing."
Yoshimo did not want to test her claim, "Wouldn't it be easier to enchant the blade?"
Pan gasped in shock though she continued her steady movements.
Ssschss..sschhsss!
"Blasphemy! Yoshi, bite your tongue! You cannot cheapen the craft with such cheesy shortcuts. Besides, the magical residue will linger on the material and altar its properties… plus chances are things will go boom more often."
A grin lifted his lips, "I apologize, Pan-chan. Forgive my ignorance before your grand wisdom."
"Oh, no problem, all is forgiven. It is not your fault I have grand wisdom, amazing intelligence, tight buttocks and perky nipples."
Ssschss…sschssss!
Desperately looking for something to focus on other than her assets he peered closely at her finished projects. A few more bottles of healing potion and a few other coloured substances bottled or left steaming in pans.
"What have you got there?"
"Ohhhhhh, healing potions because you can never have enough, some antidotes when we accidentally sit in poison ivy or a venomous dagger, ummmm, some potions that make you stronger for fighting one on one with an ogre or lifting couches, a crystal that makes a pretty good nightlight, ehhhhh, an apple that helps juice up the brain and a few liquids that explode because… sometimes things that explode are really neat."
Yoshimo shook his head in wonderment, "Amazing, Pan-chan. You've created all those in just a few hours? You must be very dedicated to your studies if you can create such things. You remind me a bit of myself, eager to learn my own craft. It must pay off in the end, you've yourself a small fortune worth of supplies there!"
Pan shook her head, "Heeeee, oh, Yoshi, all those ones are simple, straight from the textbook… of course it took me a while to find the shark droppings for strength potions."
The bounty hunter made a mental note not to drink those particular potions.
"But the others, eeeeeeee! They are the really complicatedly good stuff! See that red one there? If it works right, one mouthful and you can read one person's mind… but if you drink it all, you can rip out every single one of their thoughts and memories and leave them an empty shell! Crushed sand beetle, fermented dogwood, slivers of amber, an old man's cranium juice, half a naga's brain, all boiled to steam, the vapours collected and pooled then stirred with cholic acid, oh, and brown sugar because that is always a key ingredient and then enchanted with the right spell poured into a drilled obsidian stone and then you will get this lovely product that when put into boiling water will emit smoke that will eat flesh. Oooooh, and in that small brown sack I have a powder that if someone inhales their lungs will expand until they burst. Hehheh, pop!"
The bounty hunter raised his brows a fraction, "Is that what that does? An interesting selection of… product. Then tell me, what is that brown… substance? Hopefully something less volatile, perhaps a new apple sauce?" he asked nodding towards the dripping sludge at the edge of the table.
The alchemist frowned slightly, "Um… It was supposed to be a crystal that could sacrifice a victim's soul in exchange for a limited time of unlimited power… or was I mixing up the process for a better fertilizer?"
Yoshimo was slightly alarmed at her response. He had a feeling that Jaheira would not approve of Pan creating anything that required sacrifice. Maybe the fertilizer though.
"Interesting," he repeated, albeit slowly, "and are such craftwork common amongst the peers of your profession?"
Surprisingly, Pan blushed a faint pink hue on her cheeks, "Ohhh… I prefer working on the ones that have not been tread upon so often by others."
"Do you mean deviating from the natural path of others?"
"Eh, sure. Making adjustments to existing formulas, researching new angles, experimenting with new ingredients, discovering unforeseen possibilities, exploring beyond the laws of such possibility, forgetting the forbidden, that is soooooo much more exciting than doing the same dull thing over and over again."
"Aren't you a little apprehensive about what you're doing? Why do you practice alchemy, Pan-chan?" he asked, not out of any personal curiosity but just for information's sake… that is what he tells himself.
Her hand continued its steady work on the block of lead despite the pure excitement she practically screamed, "Why!? Why, Yoshi, why not?"
He smirked, "Indulge my inquisitiveness."
Yoshimo's grin faded however when the alchemist's demeanour became guarded, her eye glinting dangerously.
Her eyes remained on scraping the block, her hand not once altering its motions, "I abhor that question… why? Why… like the letter Y… Always accusing me but they do not care about the one way street. I do not know… because I want to know," the wistful sadness echoing the words through his mind.
Sschsss…ssschss!
"Know what?"
Her voice lilted in that distant tone he came to realize was entirely her, "Hmmmmm… I want to know if it is all together or all separate. Are my answers at the bottom of a potions bottle or at the top of my head? Existence is a funny question. It makes me laugh sometimes. We underline parts of it, I would like to think we are a punchline. Hilarious joke or humorous story, you pick. If things make sense with each other even if we are nothing but the pebbles and grains so is the team part of a game or is the wheel a dinner plate?"
He should have known better than to get a straight answer, "Provocative imagery. Care to explain?"
His eyes on her.
Her eyes on the block of lead, speaking faster.
Ssschhss…sschss!
"Mercury is poisonous and we use it freely in medicine and lamps. The wheels on the cart go round and round, round and round, round and round. The body needs food but the soul does not and we need both to live. The body dies without food, the cart tries to roll forward but someone has stolen its feet and mercury can keep us or take us away. The soul does need food because is it already dead? If the soul is dead, what need there for an empty cart? Starve the body but keep it running with medicinal mercury. It is an empty shell but nobody minds. What it does not know will not hurt it, right? No pain… must be nice. Does the world hurt when I experiment, does it cry when I change its properties, does it suffocate when I bottle it? I do not know… I know, I know, I know, IknowIknowIknow, I do not know. What do I know? What I do know… there is either an answer or no answer about everything at the bottom of a beaker."
He detected the conflict arising suddenly, "Pan-chan, you may see more within things than just face value but you ask a questionable question. You speak of the feelings of a dead body? I don't see the world as you do and I doubt others ever will but I think you shouldn't burden yourself with the pain of the lifeless. We are who we are. I tell you in my experience that you must be cold as stone at times in order to survive… whether to block or to cause pain. Emotion is both a curse and a blessing that can be set aside but shall always return. Pain is a strange gift, it's what separates the living from the lead you hold in your hands. I advise you, there's no point in concerning yourself with those that feel none."
His eyes still on her.
Her eyes still on the block of lead, speaking harsher.
Ssschsss…sssschsss!
"Heeeeee. Oh, Yoshimo, do you not know by now? I say boooooo to the other team, I hope their captain trips and impales on a pitchfork. The score is tied into overtime and I want the home team to score, my team. Sportsmanship is for losers to console themselves. I do not care for the pain of others. I say a pox on the pitiful peddling of people when I have my own pain to deal with. Did I tell you that I hurt, no reason, I just do? Do not worry about it, you cannot see the wasp stinging me because he was always the smallest runt in the family. Cannot set it aside no matter how I have tried and, ohhh, how I have tried. Heh, I have always hurt even before the flying wolf licked me and touched me and pawed me. Though… after I smelt its stinky breath all over my body did it really, really feel like I was dying. I do not understand why I hurt. Nobody else hurts. It does not hurt you. Why do I only hurt?"
"I assure you, you're not the only on-"
"I hate you. I hate you all for that."
He ignored the declaration, the words only barely scraping his heart, "… I'm sorry you feel that way, my friend, but you forget that pain is not your own commodity. Perhaps individual pain but everyone, even the gods themselves fall prey to the aches of the ages. The world has always hurt, you should know better than most. It's just the way things are. I don't understand, how can you selfishly say that only you are in pain? What of the pains of your companions?"
His eyes never leaving her.
Her eyes never leaving the block of lead, speaking airily.
Sschsss…sschsss!
"Why do you ask, Yoshimo? Why do you question my questions? You must see, my pain is the copy, is the key, is the link. I want to be my own but I have been categorized and inventoried and labelled and used and nothing but an ingredient. I am on the top shelf next to the corroded iron and oak root dust."
"I feel it's best to remind you that you're not on some shelf but right here beside me slicing lead. Perhaps you are looking into this a bit much."
"But I am the same as a bar of lead. Cannot be on my own, useless, unless because I must be used in the recipe. We connect or we do not connect, we are family or we are orphans. This lead, this damn block of lead, it is my brother, it is your sister and it does not hate me as I cut him, he does not care! Why does he not care!? Because I have eaten his share of pudding. Yummy yum yum, bad sister… My poor brother is stuck in his immobility, always in a recipe not of his own, no escape, locked in the experiment, his connection to this life no real connection just another mouth to drain dismally into puddle before the march of its brothers and sisters. Or am I talking about myself? Heeeee, pour, mix, strain, add a touch of black oil and a dash of fireants and simmer over a lifetime."
A hint of frustration crept into his voice, "It's too nonsensical, Pan. I mean no disrespect but you speak with ridicule. Do you mean to make me a fool with your words that swallow each other? You're not that lead's sister and I'm certainly not its brother. Why Pan-chan, what is the matter? Why do you ramble so with such foolish statements? Perhaps Jaheira is right, you only endanger yourself if you continue to dabble with what you cannot understand. I've seen the consequences before to those who plough forward carelessly. What plagues you so much that you risk yourself to be unpredictable and unstable with your craft?"
His eyes always on her.
Her eyes always on the block of lead, her brother.
Sschsss…ssschssss!
"Your pain goes away and my pain lingers because you are a bounty hunter and I am an alchemist. You are a man and I am a woman. You are a Kara-Turan and I am a Faerûnian. You are the escapee from the dungeon and I am the Bhaalspawn. You are a finger of the hand and I am the ingredient before the vial. You are a plump plum and I am the overcooked pork."
"…"
Sschsss…ssschssss!
"I explain to myself and this block of lead. I am his sister. It is my brother. We are the same family. Do we have the same fate? Am I an ingredient? I think father wanted me to be. That is why he made me. Father cultivated and grew and plucked me. I am a part of his grand recipe. Irenicus thinks I am an ingredient, the one who cut me and my sister in the cage. Is he cutting her now? She does not like being cut but that is okay, not everybody appreciates playing tic-tac-toe on their skin. O, O, O, heeee, I win!"
"Irenicus is hardly the type to play such games. I'd like to point out that though I find your self comparison to an ingredient to be… less than imaginable, you are still not totally helpless. An ingredient is no inconsequential thing… they demand importance and respect because each one is necessary for the recipe to work. All it takes is the absence of one… and the whole thing becomes useless. You aren't helpless… you're necessary."
"Exactly, so there must be tests to find the limits of necessity. He cut me like I am cutting my little brother here. Sorry, little bro. I drank too many thoughts, it will not do me any good… I am just an ingredient. It makes sense, a family of components and parts and elements to feed on each other… is Valygar a relative? I have been an ingredient the day the flying wolf sniffed me out and ever since then I have been trying to figure out how the recipe works. Would you care to know a surreptitious piece of knowledge? It is a spectacular hint, I am practically giving the answer away. All formulas descend from a single source and all alchemists yearn to rediscover that source."
"Is that so? Am I to understand you feel as if you must complete your father's work?" Yoshimo questioned, genuinely curious, "This divine 'recipe' like all recipes, methods, experiments and formulas, is related to this one 'source' that you and all those of your craft seek your entire careers. The fact that you yourself happen to be an important element in a number of these 'formulas' makes you one step closer than anybody else to finding that 'source'"
"… I do not know if you know that I know what you know of what I know you are trying to know… and now I know you know!"
"That you consider yourself an ingredient, you'd so quickly throw yourself into a dead god's plot?"
"Eh… maybe… maybe."
"…"
"You asked, Yoshimo, and I answered. You question my questions? You question why I question my questions? I wish you did not. My best of companions, Jaheira and Minsc always question my alchemy. Why, why, why, whywhywhywhywhy! Why should I know? Why is not important and Y is certainly even less so! They do not see that it is only an answer to my question. She shelters and he fights to keep this ingredient from poisoning herself but they are too late… The poison is the ingredient, it is already festering, congealing, burning, dying, lying, killing, spilling, falling. They ask why, why? It is a useless and painful question on its own, the answer is a forgotten secret and the mouth that shall speak it sewed their lips together. I had hoped you would be different, Yoshi. I hoped you would not hurt me."
"I… you think too much of me…"
Ssschsss…sschssss!
"Do you understand? Have you not allowed a question to consume you, as it has consumed me? To find the answer I must tear apart the question. What is the question? Ask the world. The world knows the question. So I will rip it apart and shred it into fibre and burn it to ash and strip off its skin and boil its components and charge its molecules and heat its chemicals and transfigure its state and fuse its parts and dissolve it into atoms and combine its elements and find its catalyst. I like games, do you like games? Everybody likes games, that is just the way things work. No need for whys. Enough whys. Why, why, why, why, why? Hmmmm, ask me why."
"…Why?"
"DO NOT QUESTION ME!"
"…"
Sschssss… ssschssss!
"Who cares why! Why comes between X and Z, Y comes between when and how… but it is still only one of six. Let me tell you of the six. WHO! WHAT! WHEN! WHERE! Y! HOW! See? All people ever focus on is that one little letter and they forget the rest that make up the one true word. You cannot spell anything with just one letter and it really does annoy me so much I just want to stab an arrow through my forehead. Do you get it? That is my alchemy… heh, all six jumbled together like potpourri and sprinkled into the grinding bowl… big bang party surprise is going to smell nice."
"Perhaps it's best if you focus your attention away from the questions… the six… for now, neh? Give yourself a reprieve and relax your thoughts on more pertinent things. It's not healthy to dwell on one subject for so long. I'll have you know that the world does its best to ignore those six for the most part anyways."
"Oh, Yoshi, I do not give a pitiful yelping darn about those questions… I just like it when I think about them enough so they can drown out my conscience. It just so happens that we do what our chemistry allows us to do… or is it chemistry does what we allow it to do? A feather in the cap is the tombstone of a bird. The bird likes to swim even though it has to feed maggots to the hatchlings. I feel sorry for cracked eggs. So pretty, so broken. CRACK! SNAP! PECK! Peck, peck, peck, peckpeckpeckpeckpeck in my head… the sound of tick tock, tick tock, ticktockticktockticktocktocktocktocktock! Hm, now where did the time go?"
"…"
Ssschhsss… ssschssss!
"Eh… time is always in a rush, always going, going, gone! I do not understand why time left me… did I do something bad? I am sorry… cannot go back… cannot take me away… cannot keep the bones out of my head… I am so scared and alone with nothing but the bones and the giant skull island and the touching and screaming and all I really want is… just… just somebody to say, 'Hello, Pan, that looks well done.' I just want you to stand beside me as I discover new hopes and old abominations. Only there to congratulate me, whether I live or die, when I get the answer that says it is all right to unravel the world… that after all this time, I will be okay."
Yoshimo knew from the very beginning that there was something clearly wrong with the half-elf. There was no malice in his observation, just simple fact. She spoke as clear as an educated noble yet her words when strung together baffled most people. To walk beside Pan is a perilous path, the depth of her disturbance that dangerously bursts and tears apart her naive façade blistering those around her.
He was used to dealing with people of all perceptions, the greedy merchants and ambitious heirs, honourable officers and naïve politicians, murderous brigands and bloodthirsty mercenaries, the weak and powerful, the good and the bad. They all had intentions he as a bounty hunter could comprehend, an understanding of their own consciousness and control of actions. They wanted the world around them and cared for it in their own fashion. So he could not know where to begin with apathy, someone who wanted not to control their world but to turn it inside-out without knowing clearly why made him hesitant.
Her indifference, to the consequences of her actions, to the fate of others, of the innocent and the guilty, and even for herself as she sought her own answers, frightened him in a way that he never felt before nor could he find the words to describe. Whether for the world or herself he would not know.
If she were tyranny incarnate intent on reaping a realm of pain, death and horror, he would fear her less because that would be something more familiar with the actions of the world. But she was a power, an untamed fire, with no focus but the purpose to scorch her mark on the world, laughing innocently as the ashes swirled around her.
If he had been told that in the future she would plunge the world into a 10th Hell with only a shrug and little regret, he would not be surprised.
If he had been told that he could prevent that from happening if he stabbed his katana through her heart right then, he would not question nor hesitate to do so.
Ssschss…ssschssss!
Yet what information he had beforehand and all that he witnessed since his time with the group were less affirmative than the glint in her eye. A wide brown eye that flashed and thundered silently with passionate rage, that shone and sparkled with murderous joyous glee, that cried with no tears.
Her eyes that burned with everything lost and that would draw you into her innocently daft madness if you were to stare into them too long.
How he longed to fall freely into their tempting depths.
Yoshimo allowed himself to savour the brief thought of such freedom, snuffing it out before the flame could warm his already forsaken soul… and though the heart shattered, each piece hardened as iron. He will remain what he has always been, the knife in the dark shying away from the moon, fearful of stabbing the light with its shadow. Silently he stepped closer beside her, this redheaded blissful complication.
"Pan-chan. That looks to be progressing nicely. What is it?"
Not once did Pan's eyes stray from watching her hands continue their delicate work. Despite her emotional outbursts, every single strip of lead in the beaker was exactly the same length and thickness as the other.
Piece by piece they fell, stripped from one another and yet identical.
"… I do not know."
Sschsss…ssschssss!
"Ah, well."
"But I do not hate you, Yoshi. I do not think I ever will."
"…"
BGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBG
Crusty eyes that hid an ambitious cunning watched its prey as she lumbered forth from the darkened hole. Long had he stalked this unsuspecting victim, ever since he saw her emerge from the rubble of the promenade. He instantly saw the potential for exploitation and so he watched her, seeking her weaknesses, studying how best to make use of any opportunity, patiently observing.
She was never alone for long, the older female hovering over her. He knew that he would never be able to get past defences such as hers. But he was patient. When he struck it will be delicious.
Finally the girl was unaccompanied by the older one, only the shifty human male with her. He scoffed. He cared not for the male, for he too would fall as soon as the young prey did. When she disappeared back through the doorway of the huge ball, leaving behind three humans who would no doubt waylay him, he lay close by.
Soon after, the three humans followed the young girl through the doorway though he remained waiting in the shadows. He was patient and he had no desire to expend energy seeking out his prey. Long experience taught him that with such a unique appearance as his, it would not take long for people to notice him. He needed the element of surprise for that was his best weapon.
Now, after hours of waiting she finally emerged in front of the others from the ball and it was the perfect time to strike as the others were inattentive.
There was no excitement, no rush of adrenaline. His face remained impassive. He had done this countless times and this newest victim was of no consequence. For none can stand before his power and not fall.
"Good gods, what the (*&% #^*!(* is that!?"
Pan whirled her head at Onvo's cry, having just barely secured the latch on her potions bag. She found it in the laboratory and while not magically charmed for space it was still slim enough to hold most of her day's creations.
Yoshimo and the knights rushed forward at the ready, shock in their eyes at the… thing that ran towards them. They tried to stop it but they were too late as it quickly darted past them. They were not the target.
"Pan, watch out!"
The alchemist's eyes could only widen in surprise as the creature leapt in a blurred flash of teeth and fur with such speed it engulfed her vision, muffling her cries of shock.
BGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBG
The others had returned to the Copper Coronet, disappointed in the lack of high paying work available. There were plenty of odd jobs and long-term employment opportunities but none of them were useful if they were to save Imoen in the very near future.
Minsc left for a moment, claiming that Boo had to use the "little miniature giant space hamster's room," leaving Jaheira and Korgan in a relatively peaceful silence. Each were lost in their own thoughts, very content not having to speak to each other.
The dwarves are not known for their infinite contentment however.
Korgan did not live this long being a blood-thirsty bastard without keeping his wits about him. Not only did you have to watch over yourself, you also had to make sure that the idiots around did not get you killed. When their lives were not in danger he noticed the depressing behaviour about the druid. All her actions today seemed second-thought, as if her mind were preoccupied with other matters… or memories.
He knew about the tree-thumper's dead mate, the daft whelp's unending annoying chatter at least a good a source of information. Throughout the day the dwarf found himself constantly aware of the morose look about the druid. Sitting at the table with her placed an extreme taste of dislike on his tongue, the very presence of the half-elf making him sneer with growing disgust. If there is one thing Korgan cannot stand, it is elves, especially the moody, mourning, grief-stricken, crying, snivelling, 'oh-I-lost-my-loved-one' elves.
Love… what a crock o' shite, donnae do nothin' but distract ye an' attract trouble. Makes ye weak… cannae be any place fer it in this world.
Jaheira's barely heard sniffle was the only indication that she remembered something heart-breaking as she stared vacantly at a spot on the table. Korgan rolled his eyes in contempt.
Ach, get o'er it, ye long-eared pansy arse.
The longer they sat there, the stronger it seemed the memories were getting to her and the more annoyed Korgan became. Finally he had enough.
I be damned if'n I got tae sit here an' play nursin' maid tae a snivellin' coward who cannae stow her own emotions.
He sat up straight and spoke conversationally, "So tree-thumper, ye o'er yer dead husband yet 'cos I be feelin' the need fer a quick romp in the sack."
Cackling evilly, Korgan displayed amazing quickness as he dodged the enraged swinging of Jaheira's scimitar.
"You disgusting bastard! I'll feed your tongue to the birds!"
The other patrons warily kept an eye out on the two, knowing that bringing a weapon to a bar fight was not a good idea.
Korgan had not yet brought his axe out as he easily continued to avoid her attempted strikes with fast moves. His grinning only served to anger Jaheira further with wilder swings.
"'Ey now, tree-thumper, nay need tae get all emotional, 'twas jes' an offer! Cannae be any harm in doin' what the dead cannae do! Think about it, I guarantee he probably wasnae that good anyways if'n compared tae me!"
The dwarf skilfully sidestepped a vicious downward swing, the blade digging deep into a table.
TWUNK!
Jaheira growled in frustration as she tried to yank her scimitar free but it was wedged tight. Korgan confidently stepped closer, sneering at the unshed tears of the obviously still mourning druid. He shoved her roughly, causing her to stumble but she did not look him in the eye.
"Ye disappoint me, tree-thumper. I'd thought someone like ye'd be in more control o' yer emotions. Yer gonnae cause nay but problems for me if'n ye cannae stow yer grief. Hmph, o'course unlike ye, I find it pleasant there be one less elf in the realms. Truthfully if'n he were here an' he was jes' as irritatin' as ye, I'd killed him jes' so'd I'd only have tae deal with one o' ye. But yon fool's dead now an' nay a damn thing ye can do about it."
"I loved my husband! I won't let a horrible creature like you keep his memory from me!" she cried with helpless rage in her distressed tone.
The dwarf spoke contemptuously, "I donnae give a rat's arse 'bout yer loss. Do what ye must, grieve, mourn, dance a jig, kill his killer, sleep wi' the first male tae cross yer path, screw around night after night like a slag! Hah, mebbe ye should try a nice bit o' whorin', ye certainly got the body for it, jes' tae be spiteful tae the coward who done died on ye."
Jaheira had no room for any other emotion except hate in her eyes, "Giving the same advice your mother was given?"
"Pfft. Whatever, tree-thumper, whatever it takes tae clear yer head for battle. We cannae stand each other, aye, I have nay illusions 'bout that… but we be travellin' taegether on the whelp's word and I'll nay have me neck risked whenever ye decide tae cry like a wee babe. Huh, that be something I'd expect more out o' the whelp."
"Dwarf, I'm warning you…"
Korgan's sneer became uglier as he practically spat, "O' course, that be somethin' nay tae cross yer mind e'er, huh? Ye pointy-eared 'tards be all the same. Jes' prancin' along an' everythin' be all fine and dandy, believing yer Ao's gift tae Faerûn an' that there cannae be nothing above ye. Ye arrogant, leaf-eatin' bastards. Ye think I care 'bout yer dead? I tell ye, right now, I be feelin' mighty satisfied an' Abyss-damned glad that the mangy cur's dead an' I didnae even meet him. I tell ye tree-thumper, any o' yer kind feel the first sign o' tragedy an' ye realize ye're nay better than the rest o' us. I hope the lesson burned itself intae yer bones, lass."
Jaheira said nothing. A few moments and she calmed herself, her neutral expression revealing nothing of how his words affected her. She took a deep breath before slumping her shoulders.
Korgan smirked, "'Atta girl. Now remember there be nothin' wrong with-"
WAP!
The dwarf's head snapped back, blood already pouring from his nose. Still reeling in shock, no sooner had Jaheira fired her first fist into his face that she rushed forward, grabbed a hold of his shirt with one hand and with the other mercilessly continued battering his face with vicious punches.
PAF!
"You're right," she ground out between strikes, "We can't" WHAK! "stand" POW! "each other!" CRACK!
With her last hit she reared back and punched Korgan with such force that he flew boneless crashing onto a table whose occupants were just about to reveal their hands in a high stakes card game.
Very much disappointed with having their game ruined the players turned on each other with a flurry of blows, ignoring the fact that a total stranger had destroyed their table. As if an all clear signal had lit off, bottles were thrown, chairs were smashed, fists connected with jaws, kicks made impacts against butts and teeth were loosened. The entire tavern eagerly began assaulting each other in a massive free-for-all, uncaring that the half-elf and dwarf who started it all were in the thick of it.
BGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBG
Yoshimo liked to think of himself as a practical person. Things that he could see, hear, touch, taste and smell were real and easy to understand. People in all their dimensions were easy to know. Food, spectacular. Magic had its own set of rules but was stable enough for him to conceive of easily.
However, fanciful things, such as superstitions and moralistic ideals like true love and the greater good he considered were up in the air. He found the way the world works generally disproves such things. They may or may not be actual facts of existence but until they are proven correct he would take them in as whimsical ideas.
Until now.
He may still not believe in love at first sight but now he Abyss-be-damned sure does believe in hate at first sight.
"Yoshi?"
"Hn?"
"Stop glaring at Puddlebuns."
The object of his utter loathing was cradled firmly in Pan's arms. Staring back with undisclosed contempt was (in his opinion and he is fairly sure many others would agree) a demon-spawned cat.
"I'm not glaring at it, it's glaring at me."
"He is not glaring at you, he is gazing at you with affection."
Yoshimo replied stubbornly, "No it's not. It hates me. And I hate it."
Pan gasped in shock, "You hate him? How can you say that? Look at how adorable he is!" she insisted holding up the cat closer towards him.
The bounty hunter could not help but take a step back. Perhaps if the cat was indeed as cute and affectionate as Pan proclaims him to be then he would second guess himself. Alas, the alchemist's taste seems to run the total opposite of everyone else.
Held in front of him was perhaps the ugliest, mangiest cat he ever had the misfortune to see. Its fur was grey-blue and tattered to the point where it looked as if a child was given a pair of scissors and told have at it. Fur grew long amidst patches of bare skin. Its flat face seemed to be the result a failed attempt at suffocation, scrunched and squeezed together as if it spent a life time under the bottoms of fat people. Crusty matter remained around its grey eyes and pink nose. A scar ran along its left cheek to the corner of its mouth and it was missing all the whiskers on the right. Its tail looked broken near the tip, bent at an acute angle and if it was not for the rag wrapped around the joint, he was fairly sure it would fall off.
How he wished he had stabbed the little bastard back at the sphere. The instant she had gotten over her shock and peeled the cat from her face, Pan had been smitten. Unfortunately for Yoshimo, she had decided to adopt it as her familiar, dubbing him proudly with name, Puddlebuns.
At the time Yoshimo thought the demon-spawned cat did not even have the grace to look offended at the name, instead fixating his beady eyes on him challenging as if to say "what are you looking at?" When the bounty hunter got scratched for getting too close he decided that he did not like the cat.
When the little bastard urinated on his boots when Pan was not looking, it did little to endear him to the cat.
Pan refused to acknowledge his insistence that keeping the… thing was hardly the right thing to do, now he had to suffer her constant cooing and the cat's constant baleful stares the entire walk back to the Copper Coronet.
He tried once again, "Pan-chan, you cannot honestly think that keeping… it, is the smart thing to do now? It would only take up more money feeding it and it's hardly healthy looking, in fact you shouldn't even hold the thing, it's probably infested with fleas… and it'll cause mass panics and suffocate babies and attract wyverns and-"
"Yoshi," Pan interrupted, clearly becoming annoyed with her friend's refusal to accept the cutest, most adorable kitten this side of Abeir-Toril, "Puddlebuns is bug-free because I charmed him clean. He is not going to suffocate babies and cause the end of the world. He is a lonely little kitten who needs me as his momma. Why do you not like him?"
"He tried to claw my eyes out last time I tried to get near you! And it's not a kitten! It's the spawn of demons!"
"He is too, a kitten! And stop calling him, it! He is a boy kitty. The cutest, widdwest, goodest, sweetest, wovwiest, kitty kitten cat in the world!"
Yoshimo swore the cat's head did a 180 degree turn to give him the smuggest smirk he had ever seen on any living thing. If he did not believe that the demon-spawned cat was anything but a dumb animal, he would have sworn that it raised one of its paws to give him the one clawed salute.
They continued towards the door of the Copper Coronet, Pan cooing and snuggling Puddlebuns, unawares of the glaring contest between the cat and the bounty hunter.
"Demons don't have genders," Yoshimo muttered petulantly under his breath.
"I heard that," Pan said crossly, "and Puddlebuns heard you too. And for your information, demons do have genders."
"Don't get too attached, Pan-chan," Yoshimo warned, though he smirked at the cat, "I'm certain that Jaheira will agree with me that… it has to go."
"Hmph!"
Holding the door to the Copper Coronet open, the bounty hunter allowed Pan to huff past him before following her in.
It was painful pandemonium that Pan and Yoshimo witnessed as they stood by the entrance, both showing neither alarm nor worry. As far as they were concerned, unless the guards were involved it was just another fight night at the Copper Coronet.
Carefully adjusting Puddlebuns she had cradled in her arms, the alchemist had just taken a step forward when a wooden bowl whistled past her head where it had been just a split second ago and struck Yoshimo on the forehead.
TOK!
"ITTAI!"
A steady stream of Kozakuran curses soon followed his exclamation of pain. Rubbing his already bruising forehead the bounty hunter glared furiously in the direction the bowl flew from. The unwelcome addition of the cat had pushed his normally vast patience to the limits. One thing was for certain, the Coronet was great for calming the nerves.
"Grrr… excuse me, Pan," he growled before launching himself through the air and howling, "BAKA!" tackling three others to the floor.
Shrugging carelessly, the alchemist continued her way to a less violent corner of the inn, placing her lovely new cat carefully atop a table before setting aside her potions bag and comfortably settling herself in the chair.
Across the massive chaos raging in the room, Jaheira spotted Pan making the most obscene and disturbing faces at something on the table. Wiping blood from her nose she waded her way through furious scuffles and flying bodies while dragging something behind her with both hands, placing herself in front of the table.
She eyed the cat with barely a twitch of her eye.
… I guess not all of nature's creatures are blessed with… fortunate… appearances.
The cat fixed her with what she interpreted as a "what are you going to do about it" look.
Pan looked innocently at Jaheira while stoking Puddlebuns. The cat and the druid merely glanced at each other indifferently.
The elder half-elf spoke one word.
"No."
"But Jaheiraaaaaa!"
"No."
"But, he is my familiar now!"
"No, he isn't. You cannot just attain a familiar in less than a day."
"But I am special."
"The answer is no, child. Isn't it enough that you already allowed one animal to join us?"
"I did?"
Jaheira raised one eyebrow, calmly gesturing to the groaning dwarf by her side.
"Ohhhhhh. Hi, Killer Korgan!"
Unable to stand on his feet, the badly beaten dwarf could only barely lift himself on his knees, leaning on the edge of the table for support.
Squinting out of two black eyes, Korgan groggily inquired, "Whazzat?"
Hoping to have at least one supporter, Pan introduced eagerly, "This is Puddlebuns! The cutest, sweetest, smartest cat in the world."
"Yours?"
"Ooooh, I wish it to be so but Jaheira is being difficult."
"… She doesnae wan' it?"
Pan nodded tearfully.
Grinning through a bloody mouth and black eyes Korgan chanced a cheeky look up at the druid before turning to Pan.
"Keep it."
"Eeeeeeeeeeeee!"
Amidst Pan's squealing and the bar fight's commotion, Jaheira nonchalantly plucked a bottle sailing through the air and smashed it against Korgan's head, the dwarf crumpling into an unconscious heap at her feet.
The druid was not pleased, "Pan…" she warned.
The alchemist regarded the cat before her carefully before bursting out into nonsensical cooing noises.
"Does Puddlebuns want something to eat?"
Perhaps it was the adrenaline rushing through her veins of the bar fight, but Jaheira thought the cat answered rather imperiously.
"Meowr."
"Yes he does, yes, he does! A-boo-boo-boooo! Ahh-wooshuwooshuwooo! Bwoodeebwoodeebwooodeeee! Eeeeeeeeeee!"
Before Jaheira could scold her, Minsc appeared having spotted his friends. He noticed Pan was making stranger noises than usual.
"Eh? Why does little Pan sound constipated? Has Missus Patricia visited?" he asked curiously as Boo shuffled about contentedly atop his shiny bald head.
"Rroowrr."
Two sets of wide eyes zeroed in on the source of the appreciative purr, a Rashemi's and a smaller but no less equally dumbfounded miniature giant space hamster's.
"…"
"…"
Still eyeing the furry creature atop the big human's head, Puddlebuns stretched lazily and yawned wide revealing that despite its mangled appearance the feline did indeed still have all its fangs.
Minsc was still too shocked to notice that Boo promptly shat himself.
BGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBG
The dull roar echoed from above, a blood lustful thrum resonating through the dimly lit holding cell.
Northman! Northman!
Scarred and battle weary males sat silently against either wall of the narrow room facing each other. They knew what was expected of them, to die amidst applause as they awaited their turn in the depressing prison. Yet even in the blackest of nights, one star remained shining in the sky, keeping at bay total hopelessness from numbing their minds.
Northman! Northman! Northman!
He sat alone at the very end of the cell, calmly rubbing his hands together with the dirt of the floor. Though no one looked directly at him, everyone felt his very presence like an invisible hand on their shoulders.
A bell rang beyond the prison bars. Silently he stood up, his impressive frame flowing with grace despite his size. When he stepped forward every slave's heart thudded a little harder.
NORTHMAN! NORTHMAN!
Unlike the frenzied shrieks from above, every battered and beaten down person he passed on his way to the cell doors uttered clearly as if only meant for him to hear.
"Northman."
Some with reverence.
"Northman."
Others with awe.
"Northman."
A few with fear.
"Northman."
All with respect.
"Northman."
The guard waiting for him by the cell doors could not even look into his eyes.
"You're next, Northman."
Not even gracing the smaller man with a look, he allowed himself to be led between four other guards towards an upwards sloping floor where massive wooden gates were opened like a barrier between two worlds. Whereas beyond the doors he could see bright colours and eager faces, his current underworld was filled with shadows and dying torchlight infected with grim faced guards looming like gargoyles.
Flowing in like a tide through the opened gates, the chanting grew thunderous.
NORTHMAN! NORTHMAN!
Every single one of the guards was heavily armed, no less than a three weapons visible at all times. Each gave a front of impassiveness but he could feel their hearts flinch as he passed by. He came to the area where they kept the weapons by the ramp that was more heavily guarded and far less cheerful. The armoury handler passed him two objects.
As soon as his felt the familiar grips the world became simpler.
"Yew're dead this time, Northman," one guard growled.
Not having even heard the comment, the man ran up the slope, out the open entrance and into the joyous shouts calling for his blood. The theatre of life and death exalted its stars and the audience lusted for ecstatic dripping pain as likened to the encore of falling roses.
… How he loathed his role.
"NORTHMAN! NORTHMAN!"
BGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBG
"…"
"… We know our souls exist?"
"If there's no knowledge then there's at least recognition?"
"The soul and the mind are separate?"
"Er, the soul and the mind are the same?"
"General knowledge is unreliable if we recognize our own?"
"There's only what we know and how we identify ourselves?"
"The soul is the result of knowledge?"
"Hekhekhekhekhekhek… reasonable… hhhhsssss… yet so far from satisfactory."
Quietness descends to the beat of contemplative breathing.
Scratch.
Scratch.
"… El-Elder teacher, how can you expect… how can you expect an answer when there clearly isn't any?"
"Hah! Alert the heralds, our dear little princess has finally come across a question she cannot answer."
"Oh, leave me alone, you… you bully! I'm just saying that there can't possibly be any way to answer it correctly."
"Just because you can't, doesn't mean that the rest of us aren't capable."
"Why don't you tell us the answer then, huh?"
"…"
"…"
Angry glares.
Flared nostrils.
Triumphant smirks.
Amused blue.
"…"
"Thought so… hag."
"What'd you say-!?"
"HEKHEKHekhekhek… Ahem… Oh? Hhhsssss… Why do you seem unsure of my question? Do you think it to be a trick? I assure you… hhhhssssss… that it isn't. It is very much like the countless questions I've asked in my dusty past. I made an enquiry and reasonably it is to be followed… hhhhssssss… by a response."
"But I… I don't understand. How can you know anything of your soul if you just said that knowledge, and therefore essentially everything we can recognize or discern as knowledge and information, has nothing to do with it? We cannot know anything about anything if information needed to make informed opinion is to be considered absent. You just asked us to find the end point of a circle! There won't be any such thing as a correct, logical answer."
"…"
Flip.
Flip.
Scratch.
"… Hekhekhekhek… excellent… excellent… you've discovered an important foundation to both the answer and the question… hhhsssss…"
Murmurs of confusion.
Frustrated breaths.
"I… I still do not understand."
"Yes, I believe the rest of the class is need of better clarification, elder teacher."
"Tsk, so simple, so taken for granted… hhhhsssss… when did an answer have to be logically correct… hhsss… in order to be considered an answer?"
BGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBG
Her eyes opened once again.
The quietness crept into her consciousness, the dampness, the coldness and the pain returning yet she lay still.
Only the silent tears moved.