Disclaimer: If I owned Degrassi, JT would still be alive, Spaige would be living happily ever after, Ashley would never have existed, and Peter and Riley would be hooking up in the weight room every morning before class. So yeah. Not mine.

Part 2: Burning Heart

Emma Nelson was no stranger to doctors and hospitals. Between her eating disorder and that unfortunate bout of gonorrhea, she got to know the medical profession pretty well.

But she never thought she'd be going to visit Sean Cameron at a burn center. The very thought was just unreal. She had been worried sick over the prospect of him going to Afghanistan, but the months of no news being good news had lulled her into a false sense of security.

She glanced over at Jay, who was curled up as comfortably as possible in the tiny airplane seat. She couldn't believe he was asleep. If he was as worried as he looked, his mind should be racing, like hers was. She kept picturing Sean's face and then seeing it consumed by fire. It wasn't pretty. She was freaking out. Jay had put on a brave face for her during the drive to the airport and the flight, but she knew he had to be freaked, too.

But then again, he had known about this since Wednesday night, when Snake came to the garage to tell him what was going on. Emma realized that he probably hadn't slept all that well the night before.

The flight was about three hours, and when they arrived in Halifax, they'd head to the hotel and drop their things. Her parents had only reserved one room to save money. Spike would be meeting them there, and then taking them to the hospital.

It was all a little surreal. Emma couldn't predict how she'd react to seeing Sean. They had been, well, friendly, the last time they'd been together, but things were definitely…awkward…between them. He'd left for Afghanistan and she hadn't heard from him, and now all of a sudden she was about to see him lying in a hospital bed.

"Get some sleep, Greenpeace," Jay mumbled into her ear as he shifted. He carefully pried her hand from the armrest. Her knuckles had turned white from gripping it so hard.

Emma stared at him for a moment. He must have sensed her watching him, because he opened his eyes to meet hers. "What?"

"I'm just really scared, Jay." Emma admitted, and Jay brushed her hair out of her eyes, looking genuinely concerned. A few years ago she would have had a very different reaction to him touching her that way, but now it was more brotherly than sensual. Somewhere in between the ravine and watching him make out with her best friend, she and Jay had formed an uneasy friendship.

"I know you're scared. I kinda am, too." He lowered his gaze. "But we can't let Sean see that. Even if he's sleeping. He'd hear it in our voices. I'm just going to tell him everything I would have said in my next letter."

Emma bit her lip. "You wrote each other?" Her stomach knotted at this surprising piece of information.

Jay shrugged. "Well, yeah. He's still my friend."

"He…he is?"

"Well," Jay smiled ruefully. "We've had our ups and downs, but when I found out he was going overseas, I figured he'd appreciate it if we kept in touch."

"Oh." Emma was officially feeling like the biggest loser on the plane. And she probably was at the moment. "I guess I should have done that," she said quietly. "I think he was writing to Snake, too."

"Yeah." Jay paused, as if unsure he should continue. "Emma, it's okay. I know you two grew apart or whatever. Look, uh, Snake told me to tell you this, but I wasn't sure I should."

Emma leaned in closer. "What? Tell me!"

"Well, okay. Apparently they gave your dad Sean's stuff, and what he was wearing in the explosion was, uh, pretty ruined—"

They both let out shaky breaths, and then Jay continued. "—But they found some picture of you two like, sewn into his shirt."

Emma blinked several times, but couldn't find her voice.

"In his left pocket, um, over his heart…" Jay trailed off.

Emma wiped her suddenly moist eyes and asked, "Which picture, the first or second?"

"What do you mean?"

Emma decided not to go into detail. "How old are we in it?"

"I think your dad said it was from last year."

The new one. The one where she could barely smile while standing next to him, because he was in her house, and they weren't together, and she was with Damien, he was about to go off to war, and things were weird. And it was apparently Sean's prized possession.

She was officially the worst person ever.

"I hate myself." Emma hadn't meant to say it aloud, but there it was.

Jay gave her a hard look. "Emma. This is just an unbelievably sucky thing that happened. You didn't know it was going to, and you can't change it, so knock it off."

Emma turned away from him. "Thanks, Jay." She meant it.

He patted her knee and curled up to go back to sleep.

DTNGDTNGDTNG

Emma's heart was relentlessly drumming up a storm in her chest. She didn't think it was possible to be this nervous. She grabbed Jay's hand as they made their way through the bright hospital corridors, following Spike to Sean's room. Jay attempted a smile, squeezed her hand, and then dropped it as they reached their destination.

Snake was there to greet them, looking pretty worn out.

"Hey guys." He gave Emma a big hug. "Thanks, Jason," he said to Jay over Emma's head. She pulled away, and Snake gave them some instructions before they went in. "He's still unconscious right now. We can go in and talk to him. The doctors aren't sure if he can hear us, but it can't hurt. Just try to stay positive."

"Do they think he'll wake up soon?" Emma asked, terribly afraid to hear the answer.

"We don't know, Sweetie," Spike chimed in, rubbing Emma's shoulders.

Emma steeled herself. She could be brave. She had to be.

All she could see as she entered the room with the others was a mass of bandages covering a lump on the bed. That's him, her brain registered, and she felt like throwing up. As they got closer, she could see part of his face sticking out of the top of the blanket. Bandages covered his right eye and part of his cheek, but his left eye, nose, and mouth were exposed. He was breathing long, slow breaths, and Emma was comforted by the steady beeping of the monitors surrounding the opposite side of the bed. She was tempted to reach out and touch his cheek, just to make sure he was really him. She wondered if he would feel it.

"Can I?" She stuck out an index finger and held it against his cheek. Snake nodded. She gently stroked his warm skin. He still felt like Sean. But this Sean didn't respond to her touch. She withdrew her hand, and backed away to give Jay some room.

"Hey, man." He began talking softly, and Snake led Emma and Spike out of the room.

"Let's give them some privacy," he explained, and Emma took the tissue Spike handed her.

"This doesn't seem real," she shared, and Snake made a sympathetic sound in response. Emma continued, "You've been here since this morning?"

"Yes," he answered. "I called in a substitute for the next full week. I want someone here with him when he wakes up."

For some reason, this made Emma cry harder. She couldn't even begin to imagine what Sean would feel or think when he finally woke up. For all intents and purposes, Snake was his father. And the Simpson-Nelsons were his family. She wondered if Tracker and his parents even knew that he was here. She decided that either answer would be upsetting, so she didn't ask.

Spike spoke up, "Just so you know, Honey, the doctors aren't sure if he'll get the use of his leg or arm back. And he's probably lost vision in his right eye. They don't know until he wakes up and they run some tests."

"Uh-huh." Emma couldn't really say anything else, but Spike understood. She hugged her daughter closer.

DTNGDTNGDTNG

The next week flew by in a blur. She somehow managed to get most of her homework done, and she packed more to bring with her that weekend. Jay was coming to pick her up early Friday morning, and they'd fly out for the weekend.

Spike was back in Toronto with Jack, but Snake hadn't left Sean's side. He still wasn't awake when she talked to her mother on Wednesday. She really didn't think she'd have the courage to sit in that hospital room again unless she heard some good news.

And, magically, there was Jay with that twinkle in his eye and unwavering grin. She was instantly filled with relief. He had definitely heard something that would turn this trip around.

"Come on," she whined, as Jay just kept looking over at her and smirking on the drive to the airport.

"Nope. If Mr. Simpson told me and not you, he obviously wanted it to be a surprise."

"He's awake, isn't he?" It wasn't hard to guess what the good news was, but it was still infuriating that Jay wouldn't spell it out. He was such a jerk sometimes.

"I told you, I can't say."

She sighed in disgust. "Fine."

When they walked into the hospital room, Sean was propped up in a sitting position. He was still covered in bandages, but he was moving his left arm, gesturing to Snake about something. He must have seen them out of the corner of his left eye, because as soon as Emma and Jay entered, he stopped talking abruptly and stared at them, expression unreadable.

Emma didn't let him react. She practically threw herself onto the bed, careful not to disturb his bandages, of course, and kissed him with all her might. She pulled back quickly and met his eyes, unable to speak. It felt so good to see him looking back at her like that. The way he used to look at her, like she was the only girl in the world.

"Em," he breathed.

"Sean." She palmed his exposed cheek.

Jay pushed Emma aside roughly. "Now that you've made me nauseous," he griped, "Can I say hello?"

Sean looked up at him, still a little dazed from the first reunion. "Not in the same way," Jay assured him, and Sean cracked a smile. They exchanged one-arm hugs as best they could.

Emma could hear them talking excitedly as she rushed out of the room. Snake followed her, and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"That was some kiss," he commented, and Emma blushed furiously.

"Dad!"

"Did you see Sean's face?" he grinned.

"It didn't mean anything. It was just the first thing that popped into my head to do." Emma was mentally kicking herself.

"Honey, you heard about the picture, right?"

Emma was embarrassed to meet his eyes, but she did anyway. "Yeah."

"He thinks about you all the time. You mean the world to him. He really needs your friendship right now. Or, you know," Snake grinned, "whatever else you two are at the moment."

Emma sighed. "I don't know what to do. When I saw him awake, all my feelings for him came rushing back."

Snake nodded sympathetically. "You know exactly what you need to do."

"Talk to Sean?"

"I believe the operative word is 'duh,'" he joked.

DTNGDTNGDTNG

Emma got her chance when Jay and Snake headed to the cafeteria for dinner. Emma had grabbed something while Jay and Sean were talking; she was anxious to have some time alone with him.

"Hey," she said, sitting gingerly on the side of his bed. He placed his good arm loosely across her waist, and she stroked it gently with both hands.

"So…" he raised his eyebrow at her.

"Look, I don't know what that was earlier. I'm sorry."

"You're apologizing for kissing me?" he laughed. "Emma, I've dreamed about seeing you again for months. And you thought I'd be upset that you welcome me home that way?"

"I guess my head's a little messed up right now," she said, reaching around to clasp his left hand with her right one.

He looked down at their intertwined hands, and then looked at her in that way that practically gave her goosebumps.

She hated that she was being so apologetic. But she had screwed up. "And I'm really sorry I didn't write you. I haven't been a very good friend."

"It's okay, you were busy. I hear you started university. How's that going?"

"It's fine. Don't change the subject. I did a really terrible thing, and I need you to acknowledge that."

Sean, being Sean, knew just what she needed him to say. "I accept your apology. We're even, because I didn't write you, either."

She thought about that for a second. Very true. "So how are you feeling?"

"Surprisingly good. I can't really feel much, because they've got me on a lot of painkillers."

"You're pretty coherent, though."

"Yeah. But I'd better warn you, I could fall asleep at any moment. I was apparently out for over a week, and I still feel like I need a nap."

"I can go if you want." She started to untangle their hands.

"Stay," he insisted.

The desperation in his voice made her settle back down. "I won't leave you," she promised. In fact, she was seriously considering never letting him out of her sight again.

"How's Damien?"

"What?" It took Emma a second to even register the name. "We broke up last spring."

"Oh."

She couldn't read his tone. What does 'oh' mean? "How do you even remember him?"

Sean gave her a funny look. "Em, I remember everything you tell me. And you were dating him the last time I saw you. Of course I'd remember that."

Emma didn't think there were any tears left in her, but apparently there were, because she got a little choked up. "You've never given up on me, have you?" She didn't really mean it as a question.

"I don't know what's going to happen to me. I might not be able to walk. I might be half blind. I could die tomorrow." They both blanched at that, but he continued. "But I will always love you. And if you'll have me…" he swallowed hard, looking terrified, yet hopeful.

She couldn't help but giggle at the mix of emotions written on his face. Did he really think she was going to turn him down after saying that?

He frowned. "Not the reaction I was hoping for."

Emma removed his arm from her waist and disengaged their hands. He turned away, probably thinking that she was leaving. Instead, she lay down on her side, on the edge of the bed. He looped his arm around her shoulders so she wouldn't fall, and she rested her left leg on top of his.

"I don't care if you never leave this bed. Like I told you, I'm not going anywhere." She kissed his forehead. "Because I don't think I could take losing you again." She kissed his nose, and then hovered above his lips. She could feel him tense up in anticipation. "And I love you." She kissed him again, and this time, he was ready for it.

They barely heard the nurse bring in his dinner. She just smirked and put the tray down on the table by the bed.

By the time Jay and Snake got back to the room, though, they were both sound asleep, Emma's head resting on Sean's shoulder, his chin on her forehead, and his fingers tangled in her hair.

DTNGDTNGDTNG

On the plane ride home on Sunday, Jay was unusually quiet. Emma didn't think he'd said a word since they'd gotten to the airport.

She knew he was probably thinking about the same thing she was. They were both worrying about Sean. He had gotten the bandages off of his face that morning, and Emma had tried her best not to react negatively. But he looked different. His eye was fine, if a little swollen, thank God, but the rest of his face was missing quite a few layers of skin on the right side. Both Emma and Jay had tried to persuade him not to look, but he asked for a mirror anyway. Emma grasped his hand tightly as he looked into the handheld mirror and let out a groan.

Emma and Jay exchanged a look. It didn't really have anything to do with vanity. They both knew that what would be worse for Sean was the realization that he would have to carry around a constant reminder of what had happened to him.

"It's not that bad, really," Emma told him. He eyed her doubtfully.

"Yeah, we can get you one of those masks, like that opera dude who sang and shit," Jay helped, and Emma rolled her eyes.

"I don't have to hide anything," Sean said firmly.

Jay shrugged apologetically. "I know. I was just kidding."

Sean pushed the mirror away and the nurse who had been holding it left.

When she was gone, he said, "Do you guys mind leaving for a few minutes, too? I think I want to be alone."

Emma dropped his hand and fought the urge to touch his face. The nurse had explained how sensitive his skin would be, and the last thing she wanted to do was impede all the progress he was making.

Jay agreed to leave, and Emma followed him reluctantly. They left Sean alone with his thoughts for a few minutes, and joined Snake in the waiting area. When they returned, Sean was drifting off to sleep. Emma kissed him goodbye and Jay patted his shoulder, and they left to catch their plane.

Sean hadn't talked about the explosion all weekend. Emma really hadn't expected him to. This was something that he would talk about when he was ready, and she'd be there to listen when he was. But right now, he was too busy trying to concentrate on the prospect of adjusting to his new life. One that possibly wouldn't include the use of his right arm or leg, but would definitely include some new scars on his face.

Before they left, they had reassured him that he looked fine, even though neither of them believed it.

The reality was that he was very, very lucky to have minimal damage. His arm, torso, and leg were still bandaged, but they probably looked about the same as his face. And he wouldn't need any reconstructive surgery. The doctor told them that he had been far enough away from the blast to be protected from the full force of it.

Awhile into the flight, Emma nudged Jay. "Well? Aren't you going to say anything?"

He raised his eyebrows questioningly. "About what?"

"You're infuriating sometimes, you know that?" Emma crossed her arms and made a disapproving sound.

"Oh, because I don't feel like talking about how Sean's face looks like crap, that makes me infuriating?" Jay shot back.

"It's not that bad!" Emma cried.

Jay looked down. "Nah, it's not that bad. But it was a shock, okay? He was always better looking than me, and now…"

Emma turned her laugh into a cough.

"You can't tell anyone I said that," Jay added quickly.

Emma looked at him, sadness in her eyes. "I won't. It was horrible for me, too. But he'll look better with time."

"Yeah."

They passed a few more minutes in silence, but Emma couldn't stand it anymore. She was dying to give her friends at Smithdale the good news that Sean was awake, but all she had was Jay for another two hours.

"When you talked to him alone, did he say anything about us?"

Jay harrumphed and refused to answer.

"Oh, come on, I'm bored!" she pouted. "Talk to me."

"Don't get whiney," he warned, and she closed her mouth to stop the next batch of pleading. Jay relented. "Fine. He talked my ear off about how excited he was that you're going to give him another chance, and how this time he's going to marry you and you'll have dozens of little Nelson-Cameron babies. Okay?"

"That's not what he said!"

Jay punched her playfully on the arm. "But that's what he was thinking."

"Seriously, tell me."

"Seriously, he really hopes that things will work out between you this time. And some other goopy stuff that I tuned out."

Emma smiled, ignoring his last comment. "I hope that too." She paused, letting him get comfortable with the silence again. Then she dropped the bomb. "Hey…what about you and Manny?"

Jay eyed her suspiciously. "What about me and Manny?"

Emma couldn't believe she was about to suggest this, but she would be a horrible friend if she didn't at least try. She knew how happy they had made each other, once upon a time. And she was done with being a horrible friend. To anyone.

"You know, don't you think you should at least talk to her?"

"In case you missed it, my engagement to Manny pretty much imploded like a year ago."

"But I know you miss her. I can tell."

"Whatever."

"Jay," she chided, "listen to me. I really think you'll regret it if you don't try. What if you're walking away from the best thing that ever happened to you? I hate to admit it, but you two were perfect for each other."

Jay smiled in spite of himself. "Yeah, we kinda were, weren't we? For awhile, anyway."

"It might take some work, but I really think you can be together again. Please try."

"Why do you care so much, Greenpeace?"

Emma rolled her eyes. "Because Manny's my friend, and I know how much she misses you."

"She does, huh?" Jay replied, way too cocky for his own good.

"But if you wait much longer, she might actually find someone who's not so out of her league," she stressed, only half joking.

"Well, we can't have that," he replied with a worried frown. "I'll talk to her when we get back."

DTNGDTNGDTNG

Of all the times Sean had been in her house, Emma didn't think she was as happy to see him sitting at her kitchen table as she was that day. He was finally out of the hospital, finally home for good.

Manny and Jay had been there when they arrived, with a cake and presents. It was the perfect homecoming.

After the festivities ended, and Jay had taken Manny home, Spike and Snake set up the couch bed for Sean. They insisted over and over again that it was no trouble, but it was obvious he still felt like a nuisance.

Emma lay next to him for a little while, after her parents and Jack had gone upstairs.

"We're happy to have you here, you know," Emma reminded him.

"Thanks. I just hate that I can't do anything—"

"Will you stop? It's fine. Once you're off the crutches, I promise to make you do a bunch of housework, okay?"

They exchanged a smile. Emma gently slid her hand along his scarred cheek. He winced.

"Did I hurt you?" She pulled back.

"No, no. It's…I know it feels weird."

"Not really." She kissed his cheek to prove it. Carefully lifting up his shirt, she ran her hand along his right side. He was barely scarred there. If she closed her eyes and didn't see the damage, he felt basically the same.

"Um, Emma?" Sean looked like he felt badly for interrupting her explorations. "This must be fascinating for you and everything, but…"

"Sorry." She pulled his shirt back down and grinned sheepishly.

Sean wrapped both arms tightly around her and rolled her on top of him. "I know your parents are upstairs, and my new bedroom doesn't have a door, but there must be something more interesting to do than memorizing my scars."

"Hmm." Emma pretended to think. "How to take Sean's mind off of his body?" She slipped her shirt down off her shoulder and winked. "Make him think about someone else's."

Sean looked like he wholeheartedly agreed with that plan.