New update, yaaay! It's strictly an IM convo. Hope you like it...
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Chapter 7: Stalkeratzi
TrojansNotNeeded: I'm not a stalker I swear.
adhasnovds: sure you're not bradshaw, sure you're not
TrojansNotNeeded: I just got your email and I figured you were still online. I guessed at your screename.
adhasnovds: guessed huh? hmm...
TrojansNotNeeded: So... how is your affair with scud coming along?
adhasnovds: ahh scud and i are no more. he was too heartbroken after lucy took off. it was too much for him to take.
TrojansNotNeeded: i'm sorry to hear that. but then again, he wasn't really your type was he Janet? you gay slut you.
adhasnovds: you caught me amy. i was just projecting my insecurities about being so promiscuous and homosexual that i had to project them on to you. i am so very sorry.
TrojansNotNeeded: so anyway... i guess we have to determine who the whale here is.
adhasnovds: nah
adhasnovds: i told you
adhasnovds: that doesnt mean anything here
TrojansNotNeeded: i know, i was just being an idiot trying to say something in order to avoid the awkward IM pause. I hear those are even worse than the actual awkward silences that you can "hear"
adhasnovds: oh but my dear, there are never awkward IM pauses
adhasnovds: however, there are awkWARD ones. there's a difference. trust me.
TrojansNotNeeded: oh my, those sound serious
adhasnovds: very serious
adhasnovds: like, we're talking global warming seriousness
adhasnovds: al gore would be frightened
TrojansNotNeeded: my god. the creator of the internet would be wrought with irrational fear? what will we do?
adhasnovds: there's only one thing to do...
adhasnovds: what that is i really have no idea, but that's ok. because there's nothing to fear! like i said, no awkward pauses. not even awkWARD pauses.
TrojansNotNeeded: well then, i dare you to keep the conversation moving oh fearless leader.
TrojansNotNeeded: ask me anything.
adhasnovds: are you really straight?
TrojansNotNeeded: oh wow. i think just choked on my sour punch straw
TrojansNotNeeded: i
adhasnovds: sorry, do you need me to do the heimlich? ;-)
TrojansNotNeeded: no no, I'm fine now. Wow. How do I answer that question...
adhasnovds: you don't have to, i was just messin with ya
TrojansNotNeeded: I mean, I'm pretty sure I am.
adhasnovds: pretty sure huh? like 60 sure? 85? or so sure you're practically deodorant?
TrojansNotNeeded: well. I mean, I've never like wanted to do anything sexual with girls.. that counts for something right?
adhasnovds: sure sure
adhasnovds: but have you ever had an erotic type dream about one/some?
TrojansNotNeeded: define erotic
adhasnovds: gropage, shedding of clothes, heavy breathing, kissing. lots and lots of hot and heavy kissing
TrojansNotNeeded: . .
adhasnovds: i'll take that as a yes
adhasnovds: makes note in book
TrojansNotNeeded: well. i mean. it wasn't like that. it was only.. one dream.
TrojansNotNeeded: and it was about my sister's creepy friend!
adhasnovds: even better
TrojansNotNeeded: what?! no! I mean she isn't even that attractive. well that's not true, she could be cute. actually I've never really gotten a good look
adhasnovds: except in your dream
adhasnovds: that you remember quite vividly if i'm not mistaken
TrojansNotNeeded: she had the prettiest eyes
TrojansNotNeeded: but that is so not the point
adhasnovds: i think it is
adhasnovds: it's the jumping off point of getting you out of that closet
adhasnovds: cmon amy! come out of that closet
TrojansNotNeeded: i have a boyfriend.
TrojansNotNeeded: and i may or may not love him but i have him!
adhasnovds: checks off another box uh huh, and did one or both parents have anything to do with why you started dating said boy
TrojansNotNeeded: what?!
TrojansNotNeeded: you already read my entries you know my mother likes him but no she didn't set us up and my dad would never even dream of intruding on me like that. my real dad. i mean.
adhasnovds: i didn't mean did they set you up. i mean did their way of thinking, their attitudes towards...certain things affect your decision at all
TrojansNotNeeded: it's easy to be with him
adhasnovds: it's also easy to say your abc's. doesn't mean you should do it all the time. nice way to avoid the question btw
TrojansNotNeeded: my mother influences everything i do. more like controls.
adhasnovds: why do you let her? you're a big girl, completely capable of making your own decisions. it's your life, you have to live it. she doesn't. she has her own, which she obviously doesn't want to deal with since she seems completely content with living vicariously through you. which is also a little creepy too if you think about it.
TrojansNotNeeded: so.. you know regina george?
adhasnovds: unfortunately
TrojansNotNeeded: tell me about her
adhasnovds: she's a bitch. little miss bossy booty. not quite sure if she has an apple butt though. i'm pretty sure my retinas would burn if i looked at that girl too long, and not because i'm attracted to her. far from it. she's everything i despise about high school and life in general. the epitome of evil would reside in her gretchen, but damn she's got a wicked streak in her that just won't die.
TrojansNotNeeded: wow. she sounds like someone needs to throw a bucket of water on her to see if she melts.
TrojansNotNeeded: i mean it would be much better suited for her than elphie.
adhasnovds: oh i've tried, many times before. it never worked.
TrojansNotNeeded: damn.
TrojansNotNeeded: kyrptonite?
adhasnovds: nah, clark kent and i aren't speaking currently i'm afraid.
TrojansNotNeeded: thats too bad, the clark kent on the CW formerly known as the WB is pretty sexy
adhasnovds: meh, he's cute. but i gotta say, lana is definitely better looking.
adhasnovds: plus she's not equipped with the nasty bits ol' clarky boy is
TrojansNotNeeded: they aren't so bad if you close your eyes
adhasnovds: these aren't meatless balls on top of pasta we're talking about.
adhasnovds: honestly, how do you stand them? they're just...oh god
TrojansNotNeeded: i'll answer in a sec.. ill brb. i have to change taycen's bucket.
adhasnovds: i just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
TrojansNotNeeded: yeah so did she, what a coincidence
adhasnovds: you're hot
TrojansNotNeeded: what?!
adhasnovds: i said it's hot
TrojansNotNeeded: no you didn't!
adhasnovds: yes i did
adhasnovds: see, the heat is getting to you and affecting your brain
TrojansNotNeeded: obviously. sorry about that, sometimes i think i should just get a dog or something. my best friend is so much work.
adhasnovds: why are you friends with her
TrojansNotNeeded: because she needs someone
adhasnovds: but you don't even seem to like her that much. why waste your time?
TrojansNotNeeded: i do like her, i do. i like her when she's sober and when she is actually being human. It's pretty few and far between these days but when it happens, i know why i stick around.
adhasnovds: hmm...do you like her like her
TrojansNotNeeded: haha no. that is a definite no.
adhasnovds: interesting... makes note on sheet
TrojansNotNeeded: she's more like a sister to me than anything else. moreso than my actual sister, but that is probably my fault.
adhasnovds: why do you say that?
TrojansNotNeeded: I don't know. I always tell myself that I should spend time with her but I feel like she's always analyzing me, like she can see right through me
adhasnovds: is that a bad thing? maybe if you actually tried talking to her you wouldn't be so...i don't know, lost? and have to seek out total hotties, like myself, on the internet to talk to.
TrojansNotNeeded: oh so you're a hottie...
adhasnovds: i am indeed
TrojansNotNeeded: would you say you're more of a Lucy type hottie or like a Dana type hottie
adhasnovds: a mix of both
TrojansNotNeeded: interesting.
TrojansNotNeeded: makes note
adhasnovds: stop making notes about me
TrojansNotNeeded: sounds like regina isn't the only bossy booty
adhasnovds: i'm not the one with the mega huge problems here
TrojansNotNeeded: i don't have a mega huge problem
adhasnovds: from what your email said, you do
TrojansNotNeeded: ugh i cant believe i even though talking to you would help. you're like totally trying to force me to be gay.
adhasnovds: um. ok psycho? no i'm not.
TrojansNotNeeded: look i don't have a mega huge problem okay?!
TrojansNotNeeded: i just wanted to know if what i was feeling is normal. i mean everyone has feelings dont they?
TrojansNotNeeded: it doesnt mean im gay
adhasnovds: what are you feeling
TrojansNotNeeded: that i kind of want to flirt with you.
adhasnovds: and you haven't been doing that the entire time?
TrojansNotNeeded: oh my god.
TrojansNotNeeded: i totally have.
TrojansNotNeeded: i am the perfect whore!
adhasnovds: i think you owe me an apology
TrojansNotNeeded: and how would you like your apology?
adhasnovds: well i can think of a few things...
TrojansNotNeeded: like...
adhasnovds: use your imagination
TrojansNotNeeded: i suppose it wouldn't be fair of me to ask you for a picture would it? since I can't send one.
adhasnovds: oh you could send one, you're just too scared to
TrojansNotNeeded: it's just that i keep picturing you as my sister's friend for some reason. probably because she was in my dream and i guess my subconcious is trying to tell me that i'm secretly into her.
adhasnovds: that's what the psychologist in me is saying, yes
TrojansNotNeeded: but I'm not! i don't even really know her.
TrojansNotNeeded: and i think she hates me
adhasnovds: doesn't mean you can't have a fantasy about her
TrojansNotNeeded: oh shit. i have to go, it looks like taycen is waking up.
TrojansNotNeeded: will i talk to you later?
adhasnovds: do you want to talk to me later bradshaw?
TrojansNotNeeded: i'm breaking like eight federal statutes right now.
adhasnovds: so what? haven't you ever done anything you weren't supposed to?
TrojansNotNeeded: not really no. that's the truth by the way. i always do what im supposed to.
adhasnovds: rolls eyes i've got my work cut out for me i see...
TrojansNotNeeded: so i guess the next time you're online i should just...IM you?
adhasnovds: sure. and if you're lucky enough i'll answer
TrojansNotNeeded: Just promise me you'll be open
adhasnovds: open to what exactly?
TrojansNotNeeded: Open to love
adhasnovds: i AM open to love! i am...
TrojansNotNeeded: we'll see about that Janet.
adhasnovds: we'll get you out of that closet sooner rather than later amy.
TrojansNotNeeded has signed out.