FOUR HOURS LATER
"It's no use, I can't get through to him!" Rodney felt like he had been trying for days, but even with Atlantis's help, he couldn't quite reach John, he felt like he was stretching himself over a vast gulf of nearly infinite size, and almost reaching that spark that was John, but at the last second he was pulled back. It was really quite frustrating.
"Rodney, you have to relax, you're still trying to hard." This time it was Lilah's voice that answered him, not Brianna's.
"Alright, I'll try." Rodney sank back into his trance.
FIVE DAYS AFTER SINKING INTO A TRANCE
Rodney was no longer sure how long he had been in his trance. It could have been minutes, or days. He had no real sense of time, but he could hear Lilah and Bri moving around him. When food was placed in his hands, he ate, when a canteen of water was set beside him, he drank. Noise, light and motion came and went in waves. He could sense John nearby, but every time he got close to the tiny spark in the endless sea of darkness, Atlantis pulled him back.
When she pulled him back yet again he was furious, 'I almost had him!' he thought angrily at the distant city. 'You have to let me go deeper.' He only sensed regret and sorrow from the city as he dove back down. As he was snapped back again he heard Lilah speaking.
"…says he thinks he needs to go deeper. She says she can't hold him if he goes any further than he's going now. Bri, I think John's just too far away for us to reach." Lilah seemed to be pleading with Bri, but Rodney didn't care why. He just wanted to try again. As he gathered himself for another plunge, he felt a whisper of air as someone knelt in front of him.
Two fingers touched him between his eyebrows; startled he focused on the touch. Brianna removed her fingers and spoke again, this time directly to Rodney.
"Rodney, John's too far away, you won't be able to reach him like this, I need you to try something different."
Distantly Rodney felt his body nod, it was almost as if he was no longer connected to it.
"Rodney, I'll need you to go deep again, but just to the edge of where you have been going. Once you're there I'll need you to focus all your energy on calling out to John, you need to give him a reason to move closer. You may need to tell him the truth about how you feel for him, can you do that?"
Once again Rodney nodded, he would do anything to get John back, even if it meant losing his friendship. He sighed, and let himself sink. He had been to this place many times since he sank into this trance, enough times that he could almost see his footprints from his previous trips.
He stopped descending; he could feel Atlantis at his back, anchoring him; a strong force he could use to get home. He could see the spark that was John, as always it was just out of his reach.
"John," Rodney whispered, watching as the spark flickered slightly in recognition. "John, can you hear me?" he whispered.
The spark flickered. It took Rodney a moment to place the pattern of flickers. Morse Code. --Yes.--
"John I need you to come closer."
--Hurts-- John replied.
"Do you still feel it?" Rodney asked.
--No, but I know it's there-- John flickered. --I'm here so I don't have to feel it.--
"The pain is gone John." Rodney whispered back.
--How can you know?--
"Because it's been a long time," Rodney whispered, "The wounds have healed."
John remained silent and didn't move.
"John, come back, Atlantis needs you, we need you, I need you."
--Why?--
Rodney bowed his head, and hesitated.
--Why Rodney?--
Rodney still didn't answer.
--Why do you need me Rodney?--
"Because I love you John. I need you to come back, for me." Rodney felt Atlantis pulling him back again, this time he didn't care. He would be off the team, and John would never speak to him again. Lilah and Bri would have to find someone else to bring John back, and Rodney would transfer back to Earth.
Rodney felt arms come around him, and his head was pulled down to rest on a shoulder.
Rodney hadn't realized he was crying until John spoke.
"Why didn't you say so sooner?"