Chapter 25: Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

TrojansNotNeeded: how do you know when you're in love?
adhasnovds: uh
adhasnovds: well
adhasnovds: i dunno
adhasnovds: i've never been
TrojansNotNeeded: you must be getting there with cindy though... i read your entry about valentines and how well it went.
adhasnovds: uh...yeah. it was great. you have a good one with what's her name?
TrojansNotNeeded: Taycen. and yes it was fantastic. except for my sister's evil friend trying to positively ruin my night.
adhasnovds: how'd she do that
TrojansNotNeeded: she was just an asshole as usual. but i tried the whole being nice to my sister, she and i are supposed to have lunch tomorrow just the two of us
adhasnovds: well that's good. i'm proud that you tried
TrojansNotNeeded: thank you thank you.
TrojansNotNeeded: anyway i have something to confess
TrojansNotNeeded: i know that we haven't been together long but.. on valentines night, taycen and i got a little carried away. i was really emotional after a huge fight and then...
adhasnovds: oh god
adhasnovds: amy...
TrojansNotNeeded: i know! i shouldn't have. but i mean she was really gentle and sweet and made it hot......
adhasnovds: please. spare me the details
TrojansNotNeeded: i thought you would be happy for me
adhasnovds: it just makes no sense
adhasnovds: when you get in a fight with someone the hot sex is usually...with that person!
TrojansNotNeeded: you have no idea how much she hates me though and taycen was there and well.. we both agreed that we took it too fast and we won't be having sex again for a while.. but... damn it was fantastic.
adhasnovds: that's...great... i'm so damn happy you lost your virginity when you weren't ready
TrojansNotNeeded: um. hey. not a virgin. and what is with the hostility?
adhasnovds: you were still a virgin to being with a girl. and i'm not being hostile...
TrojansNotNeeded: you so are.
adhasnovds: i am not!
adhasnovds: i'm just pissed that taycen couldn't have fucking stopped it
adhasnovds: she's the experienced one. she should've known better
TrojansNotNeeded: god. sometimes i just want to wring your neck. everytime i make progress with her, you blame her for it. maybe i initiated it. maybe i wanted her.
TrojansNotNeeded: what is wrong with you?!
adhasnovds: nothing. i have to go.
TrojansNotNeeded: no you don't.
adhasnovds: ok fine, i want to go
TrojansNotNeeded: why?!
adhasnovds: because i can't have this conversation with you!
TrojansNotNeeded: WHY?!
TrojansNotNeeded: we're friends!
TrojansNotNeeded: you were my first friend, you helped me figure all of this out!
adhasnovds: my night with cindy was nothing like i wrote about
TrojansNotNeeded: what? what does that have to do with anything?
TrojansNotNeeded: and why would you lie?
adhasnovds: because i didn't want you to know. i wanted...ugh
adhasnovds: gretchen said some things that were bugging the shit out of me
adhasnovds: they had to do with cindy
adhasnovds: so i confronted her, we got in a huge fight...
adhasnovds: but even if gretchen hadn't said anything, i still wouldn't have been able to enjoy the night with her
TrojansNotNeeded: i'm so sorry. here you are, all broken up and im bragging about finally having sex. no wonder you were upset, im sorry.
adhasnovds: god will shut the hell up about having sex?!
TrojansNotNeeded: okay. fine. god.
adhasnovds: do you know why i couldn't enjoy my night with her regardless of what gretchen said?
adhasnovds: do you know why i've had these apparent jealous attacks concerning you?
adhasnovds: do you know why i don't want to hear about your fucking amazing time on valentines day?!
TrojansNotNeeded: because you dont want me to get hurt, i get that. you're protective.
adhasnovds: NO!
adhasnovds: well, i mean yeah...
adhasnovds: but NO!
TrojansNotNeeded: then what the fuck is your problem?!
adhasnovds: i was thinking about YOU all fucking night!
adhasnovds: i wanted it to be you there! in my arms, cuddling into me while we watched some lame movie together
TrojansNotNeeded: what
TrojansNotNeeded: no
TrojansNotNeeded: you
TrojansNotNeeded: no
adhasnovds: i think...
TrojansNotNeeded: no
TrojansNotNeeded: don't
adhasnovds: amy
TrojansNotNeeded: NO!
adhasnovds: i think I like you... like…like you like you
TrojansNotNeeded: oh my god this unbelievable.
TrojansNotNeeded: you tell me this NOW?!
adhasnovds: when the hell was i supposed to tell you?!
TrojansNotNeeded: WHEN I LIKED YOU STUPID!
adhasnovds: you what?
TrojansNotNeeded: Yes. I LIKED YOU!
TrojansNotNeeded: when you were going after cindy it was killing me because I LIKED YOU
adhasnovds: fuck me...
TrojansNotNeeded: WHAT?!
adhasnovds: not literally, god
TrojansNotNeeded: well i mean, hello you said the words.
adhasnovds: well it was more in the sense of god damn it this is so fucked up
TrojansNotNeeded: god this is so dawson's creek.
adhasnovds: seriously
TrojansNotNeeded: you were with cindy and i liked you. then i get over you and im with taycen. and you like me.
adhasnovds: you got over me?
TrojansNotNeeded: well no. not really but in a way i moved on to the next best thing
adhasnovds: amy
TrojansNotNeeded: what
adhasnovds: you deserve the best
TrojansNotNeeded: well thats not you.
adhasnovds: how do you know
TrojansNotNeeded: you cant just tell me this now. you cant expect me to drop everything to be with you. YOU DONT EVEN KNOW ME!
adhasnovds: don't you feel it?
TrojansNotNeeded: feel what?
adhasnovds: that...thing
adhasnovds: that thing that's telling me that we were supposed to meet
adhasnovds: that thing that's making this harder than it should be
TrojansNotNeeded: i'm with taycen.
adhasnovds: you didn't answer my question
adhasnovds: can you honestly tell me your heart doesn't skip a beat when we talk?
adhasnovds: your stomach doesn't do flip flops when you happen to think of me, for whatever reason
TrojansNotNeeded: it does but it does the same thing when i think about her
TrojansNotNeeded: and when i think about my sister's friend!
TrojansNotNeeded: im all screwed up inside right now
adhasnovds: i don't know what to do
TrojansNotNeeded: i cant hurt her
TrojansNotNeeded: she has done nothing
TrojansNotNeeded: to deserve it
adhasnovds: only let you go too far when you weren't in the right frame of mind to be doing it...
TrojansNotNeeded: i love her.
TrojansNotNeeded: or i think i do
TrojansNotNeeded: but it doesnt matter you should have told me!
adhasnovds: well i'm sorry. it takes me a little while to realize such things!
adhasnovds: this is a bit more complex than, "wow, you're hot. wanna get jiggy on the dance floor?"
TrojansNotNeeded: yeah i suppose your relationship with cindy was a little less than complex right
adhasnovds: i told you that i wasn't in the right frame of mind that night
TrojansNotNeeded: so where does that leave us
TrojansNotNeeded: what do you want me to do
adhasnovds: well i can't exactly ask you to dump her...
adhasnovds: and i can't tell you to follow your heart, because it seems it doesn't know what it wants
TrojansNotNeeded: i want you but it scares me because I don't even know you.
adhasnovds: don't fucking say that
TrojansNotNeeded: say what?!
adhasnovds: that you want me when you're not going to do anything about it!
TrojansNotNeeded: you were too late!
adhasnovds: how was i supposed to know you were going to sleep with her?!
TrojansNotNeeded: why does it always come back to that?!
TrojansNotNeeded: what does it even matter that i slept with her? what does it matter that the entire time i was with her i thought of you?!
adhasnovds: uh...
TrojansNotNeeded: it doesn't dammit, it doesn't matter!
adhasnovds: amy say what?
TrojansNotNeeded: don't you pull hannah montana on me!
adhasnovds: well...sorry
adhasnovds: how can you say you love her when you were thinking of me while you were with her
TrojansNotNeeded: i just thought of what you would say
TrojansNotNeeded: i dont know what that means
adhasnovds: and what did you think i would say
TrojansNotNeeded: i figured you would be disappointed
adhasnovds: and yet you did it anyway...
adhasnovds: well guess what bradshaw
TrojansNotNeeded: what
adhasnovds: you were right
adhasnovds: but not only did you disappoint me, i think you just broke my heart.
TrojansNotNeeded: well now you know how i felt when you were with cindy
TrojansNotNeeded: you don't like me
TrojansNotNeeded: how could you like me? you don't even know my name.
adhasnovds: wait a minute
adhasnovds: how am i getting all the blame for this
adhasnovds: you didn't tell me you liked me either!
adhasnovds: you knew first! you could've said something!
TrojansNotNeeded: what is your real name
adhasnovds: what's yours
TrojansNotNeeded: i asked you first
adhasnovds: i'm older, so you have to tell me
TrojansNotNeeded: on three..?
adhasnovds: one
TrojansNotNeeded: two
adhasnovds: three
TrojansNotNeeded has signed off