A/N: You may or may not recognize the blog entry. I paraphrased the Aiden promo they used for Season 3 way back when...
Chapter 26: Encore
February 21, 2008
Time: 9:18 PM
Mood: Perplexed
Username: adhasnovds
Girls are crazy, I mean seriously; it's official. I mean, they're just way too complicated.
One's a totally cute, but totally straight and strictly friend territory chick who's worried that she's going to mess up the relationship she's in and will never find anyone else. Thus leaving her alone with her 40 cats.
The other is an ex of a crazy ass, skeezy, nasty, slut faced, ho bagged wench. And judging by all the phone calls she's been giving me, she's a bit on the psychotic side herself. (I told you I was attracted to the crazies).
And then I have the one who can't seem to make up her mind about anything. Straight, gay. The other girl, me. Sister, no sister.
*sigh*
Ok I admit it, I'm a little complicated too…
In a slightly larger sense of the word. But that's beside the point. I can handle my issues.
Why do we always want who we can't have, and always have who we don't really want?
…
Or is that just me?
---
It's been about a week since we shared our common confessions with one another; we haven't spoken since. I've seen her online here and there, she hasn't seen me though. I've taken to going invisible most of the time. On the off chance she signs in when I'm actually there though, I put up an away message immediately. I've wanted to talk to her so badly, but…I just can't. I don't even know what to say. I don't know if…ugh.
This is not fair. Ashley Davies does not feel like this about girls. She doesn't. I mean, I don't. I don't get this worked up, especially over a girl I barely know and one that can't make up her damn mind about what she wants. Or I suppose whom she wants.
Kyla and I haven't spent every waking minute together like we once did, but that's to be expected since she and Cal are official. I mean official official. They're adorable together; I can't and won't ever deny that. He's good for her, helps her break out of that shell she sometimes closes herself off in.
That's what brings me here. Or here again I guess I should say. Where I was a little over a week ago, that little black lens staring me in the face. Only this time I don't have the same smug look on my face. No, this time there was something else…fear maybe? I don't know why, there was no reason to be. Unless, of course, they found it before they got hot and heavy, which I'm certain they would have/will continue to if my suspicions proved true, and left me a little message. But something tells me, i.e. past showings, that they would've confronted me with it.
Kyla's in the shower getting ready for her night out with Cal and I'm in the pirate's cave, so to speak, retrieving the booty. Literally I'm sure. Gretchen, the horn dog she is, probably seduced Regina after I took off in record time.
I never really wanted it to come to this with her, I didn't. I mean sure I may have a very huge dislike (see: burning hatred) for the girl, but that doesn't mean I want to possibly ruin the rest of her high school career and make her home life hell. I'm not heartless like that.
I heard the unmistakable sound of an offensively loud car stereo with the bass too high. It wasn't shaking the house so I had some time yet, but not much. Plus, Kyla would be done in the shower in a matter of minutes.
Or so I thought.
The water shut off a few seconds after I had that thought; I really had to move fast.
Studies have shown that I get really jittery and accident prone when in a rush.
I reached up quickly and ended up knocking the shelf hard with the back of my hand, effectively shaking the thing enough to knock over the books and sending one crashing to the floor. Luckily Kyla had the music on loud enough to cover the noise.
"Fuck!"
That hurt.
I grabbed the camera from behind the makeshift cover I created and shoved it into my pocket. I looked at my hand quick and noticed it was already turning red; it would definitely bruise.
The sound of Kyla's towel being unfolded and snapped (she hated dryer lint) and the ever growing noise from the stereo spurred me back into action. I fixed the books that had remained on the shelf first, returning them to their exact locations so Spencer wouldn't notice. I did a quick check of her desk in case one of her doodads had fallen.
Blaring music and wall shaking beats were drawing nearer and the slamming of a drawer in the bathroom told me Kyla was just about done. I scrambled to the book on the floor, but stopped dead in my tracks, mouth agape at what had fallen out.
There, strewn about the floor, were several DVDs of the gay persuasion. The most noticeable one, the one that really shouldn't have stuck out but did for a very apparent reason, the one movie I wish hadn't been in there; D.E.B.S.
"Oh shit…"
I…no, this-this isn't happening. It was just a coincidence. That's it. Obviously straight girls would hide movies like that so they wouldn't get questioned about them and be put in an awkward situation. Yeah, and they all had hollowed out encyclopedias to store them in.
Sheer coincidence.
There was no way I was, had been, already have fallen for Spencer "Regina George" Carlin. No way, no how.
I didn't have time to dwell on that though, so I gathered up the cases and piled them back into the book and slammed the cover shut. I was breathing pretty hard as it was, but that little discovery nearly caused cardiac arrest.
After putting the volume, ironically (or not so much so) being the L edition, back in it's rightful place I booked it back to Kyla's room, being sure to shut Spencer's door quietly enough that she wouldn't hear it.
I launched myself onto her bed and tried to calm my breathing when the door to the bathroom opened and the front door slammed shut.
Spencer was home. Shit.
I had one of two options presented to me. Option A: Be a good friend and help Kyla get ready for her date. Or Option B: Make up an excuse to get the fuck out of that house as fast as I could.
Toweling her hair dry, Kyla stepped into the room and smiled at me. That stupid, dimple enhancing, toothy grin of hers that, without her realizing it, could make me do anything; or just about. Obviously Option A was chosen for me.
"Thanks for coming over to help me, Ash. I know we haven't spent as much time together bu-"
"It's fine Ky," I assured her with a soft smile. And it was; she was happy, I was happy for her.
Loud clomps up the stairs caught her attention and she brightened up even more.
"Spencer must be home! I'm gonna go ask her something quick, be right back."
"Joy," I said sarcastically as she flounced out of the room.
***
Fifteen minutes later and I'm still on Kyla's bed, [not at all] absorbed in some magazine, stuck a few feet from Regina George herself. Apparently the question Kyla asked was to help her get ready. I can't say I didn't understand it; she wanted to be closer with Spencer, and Spencer seemed to be willing.
I reached over to the mini fridge next to the bed and grabbed a 7-Up and watched, stealthily, as Spencer worked her "magic" on Kyla's hair. She caught my eye in the mirror while she listened to the story Kyla was so animatedly telling her and I ducked my head back down and went back to the magazine.
I chanced a glance a few seconds later and she had a smirk plastered on that face of hers, her focus still on the mirror, in my direction. I don't know why she smirked…there was positively no reason for that. Nope, no reason whatsoever.
"So Spencer, where's Taylor?" Kyla asked, thankfully interrupting that little staring contest we had going on. "You two have been more inseparable lately than ever, it's kind of weird not seeing her here."
Eyes trained on her stepsister, where they belonged, Spencer replied, "Sometimes even conjoined twins need a break from each other, thankfully Taylor is detachable."
"Aw, lover's quarrel?" Kyla chuckled.
"What?" I squeaked, having just choked on my soda. She had to be joking, right? Kyla didn't know. Kyla laughed when I brought it up.
"Hardly, I just told her that I wanted to spend some time with you. She'll be here after you leave for your date."
"I see," she seemed to mull something over as Spencer finished pinning up her hair. "Is Patrick coming over too?"
"I'm not sure, he didn't exactly take to the news of Taylor and I very well." What? "He actually sort of went all Xander in a jealous 'I love Buffy' induced rage." Excuse me? Did I hear that correctly?
"Wait. Whoa. You and...and Taylor are really dating?"
She looked at me over her shoulder and tilted her head flippantly, "I told you I was gay."
Survey says: Yes, I did hear correctly.
"You told her before me?!"
"I thought you were kidding!"
And apparently Kyla didn't take too kindly to such things either since we screamed at the same time. But I mean come on, this is Spencer we're talking about here. This is the same girl that has given me nothing but grief since I met her. How could I have known she was serious? And how could I have known she told Kyla? Not one word was breathed to me about that.
Spencer looked to her sister with an apologetic look and shrugged, "Well sort of. I was mad, I was trying to make a point."
I just sat there on the bed; the same bed that so many other secrets had been shared in, while I attempted to wrap my head around all the information that had been shoved in my face and crammed in my brain in the short time frame. It seemed like too much, I wanted to just go catatonic for a while.
"Cat got your tongue, Davies?" Spencer quipped.
"Uh...something like that..." I dumbly, or more numbly, answered.
"Spencer can I borrow that silver heart necklace of yours?"
Kyla was obviously over the fact that I'd found out first.
"Sure, do you want me to go get it?" she said as she looked at me strangely.
"No, it's ok I can."
Completely off in her own little world that one was. Date night meant nothing could get in the way of her good mood or the great night the couple had planned.
Spencer turned her attention back on the other brunette in the room, thank god, "Okay, I kind of bought you one." It was almost shy, but everyone knows that Spencer Carlin is anything but. "It's in the teal box next to the picture of Cameron Diaz and I, that one time I saw her at Starbucks."
"You did not," Kyla's eyes widened in disbelief. That would've been the first present ever given to her from Spencer.
Not once, on any holiday or birthday or even 'just because', had she ever gotten Kyla anything. Even when there was always a perfectly wrapped gift for her, with a tag that read 'To Spencer, Love Kyla', had there been any reciprocity. The calendars definitely had to be marked.
"I did."
"Spencer those are like...well I don't know how much they are, but they're really expensive!" Kyla reprimanded lightly. She was too ecstatic to really mean it.
"Hello," she lightly tapped Kyla's forehead, "Satan gave me plastic to make up for years of neglect, don't even worry about it."
Ah yes, Spencer's mother and Kyla's stepmother. I'd never really had a conversation with the woman, but word on the street was that she was a force to be reckoned with. Sure I'd been around the Carlin/Montaneo house for years, shared many a dinner with the folk (parents included), but Paula was never too welcoming. Except, of course, to Aaron Samuels, aka Aiden "I'm the maaaan" Dennison.
"I'm gonna go get it!" Kyla squealed as she jumped up and ran out of the room. She popped back in not even a second later and pointed at both of us, "Don't kill each other."
Smart girl. But damn it, she just had to leave me alone in the room with Spencer didn't she? Crap. Crap. Crap. How awkward. It wasn't fair to leave me alone in a room with her, especially now that I had a slightly clearer version of the picture that had begun to paint itself.
"You heard what she said, put your knives away, Davies."
"Huh?" I said distracted, desperate to look at anything but her. I had to remain calm though. She couldn't know anything was off.
"Articulate today aren't we?" she chuckled.
I avoided her eyes a little longer, as my foot tapped nervously against the side of the bed, the comforter being grasped tightly in my clammy hands. "Uh...ye-yeah."
Yeah, that was totally relaxed.
"Are you okay? Wait. Are you on crack?" she joked, but there was a bit of concern there as well. "You're being all shifty."
"What? Yeah, I'm fine." I let a small pause go and then I almost snapped my neck to look at her, "Why? What've you heard?"
"Well beside the rumor about you having sex with the guidance counselor on her desk?" she laughed. Wait, what was this? Were Spencer Carlin and I actually joking with each other? Being somewhat civil?
"I believe that was your girlfriend."
"That was the volleyball coach," she winked. "And to be honest, I don't know how much longer she'll be my girlfriend."
"Finally wised up huh? Took you long enough..."
She looked at me, affronted, "What's that supposed to mean? It doesn't have anything to do with Taylor. I just," she paused slightly and sighed, "there's this other girl. I don't know, it's really complicated and personally, I really don't think you care."
Ouch, that stung a bit.
I lowered my head and mumbled so she couldn't hear me, "You have no idea how much I actually do..."
"I'm sorry what?"
Damn it! Why the hell did she have the hearing of a freaking dog?
"N-nothing." Smooth, Davies. "I'm just saying, with her track record she's probably cheating on you right now. No off-well no, I can't really say that. I don't like the girl, so I'll be as offensive as I want." I smirked at her, but she had a crestfallen look on her face. "Why her anyway? You could do a lot better."
I really did want to know for several reasons, most I wouldn't admit to. But what was the attraction to Taylor? Honestly.
"She was there for me," she said softly, vulnerably. As if she suddenly realized whom she was talking to, who she'd just revealed such a personal thing to she stepped back into the Regina persona she carried herself in, "Besides, who else am I going to be with? You? Ha. Fat chance. Like you'd ever want to be with me."
She mumbled the last little bit in hopes that I wouldn't catch it, but unluckily for me my hearing was spot on. What was up with this chick?
"Uh. Um. In-in your dreams, Carlin." And how the hell did she make me so flustered? "You just wish you could be with someone as hot as me. Beneath this nerdy exterior lies a freaking goddess. I ooze sex appeal."
"Prove it, Davies," she snorted and leaned back against the vanity. "Oh wait, you have a girlfriend. Sorry, I totally forgot about Squidney."
I released my death grip on Kyla's bedspread, half wondering what was taking her so damn long to get a necklace, but more so wondering if I'd heard what I thought I had.
I stood up casually and crossed my arms in front of my chest, "Was that jealousy?"
She mirrored my posture and threw in a raised eyebrow, "Was that hope?"
Before she knew what was going on I was nose to nose with her, my hands rested on either side, effectively trapping her against the vanity.
"Do you want it to be?" I whispered.
Her breathing picked up and I swear I could hear her heart pound through her chest.
She licked her lips and her eyes fluttered down to mine for a short time, "Maybe."
I swallowed thickly and gazed into her deep blue eyes. I let my eyes travel down to her lips before I slowly brought them back up. I wasn't going to kiss her, not at all. But she was playing with me, and if she wanted to play hardball, I was game.
Our 'moment', if you could even call it that, was cut short by Kyla's abrupt appearance.
"Spencer it wasn't next to the picture of you and Cam-uh, what the hell?" she said as she walked through the door, futzing with the clasp of the necklace.
Spencer pushed me away, a bit roughly, "That's the last time you get in my face, Davies. Jesus stop trying to..." Come on. "Uh…" You can do it, come up with an excuse. "Beat me up." Slick.
"Please," I scoffed. "Kyla your sister was totally hitting on me."
Her eyes went wide as she looked from me over to the dumbfounded blonde that was still perched against her vanity. Her mouth opened and closed a few times. Apparently she does a great Flounder impression too. I had the urge to start singing Under the Sea.
"Was that the doorbell?" she said suddenly and ran out of the room. Halfway down the stairs she yelled back, "She flirted back!"
Kyla looked at me with an amused smirk. I rolled my eyes and scowled slightly.
"Don't you give me that look, you're gonna get it!" I yelled and chased her around the room as she screamed in fear of the impending lift off the ground.
***
Several hours later…
I stared blankly at my computer screen, not believing what I'd just watched. Really not wanting to think about it anymore, but unable to think or see anything else.
Several new insights about Spencer Carlin came from that video. Insights I wasn't sure that I wanted to know right now, or ever. But if I was telling myself the truth, I did want to know. I had to know. And I had to know more too. It wasn't a want, not at all. It was a need; a desperate one to know everything about her, but not having the fortitude to even attempt such a task.
I had no doubt now that she was the same girl, the same Deb I couldn't get out of my head.
There were decisions to be made; so many decisions and so many consequences that could come from them. So many different paths to choose, each with its own set of forks. It was a never-ending trail of choices, but the one thing that was common on all of them was the certain pain and heartbreak.
It shrouded the choices in a dark an ominous way.
Life sucked like that. It never let you look too far ahead, because it always had different plans for you anyway.
If I made the wrong choice now, I would be for shiz up the spout.
I sighed and took the memory card out of its slot on my laptop and put it in the protective case. I walked into my closet and went all the way to the back; my safe. I typed in the code and heard the click of the lock. Such a satisfying sound that was.
I placed the memory card inside, but before I could close the door a picture caught my eye. It wasn't of some celebrity and me, not really anyway. I stared at it for a little while, letting memories flood my brain before I slammed it shut. Effectively locking it away for another day.
There were other things that needed to be taken care of before I could deal with that.