Disclaimer - I do not own NCIS.
A/N - Another chapter of the team's exploits in London. Please permit a little creative licence with the Tube scenes, if they are not entirely accurate. Also, I hadn't planned a Guards scene, but there were a few comments on this in the reviews, so I've worked it in. I hope you like it.
In full stealth mode, the team made their way out of the conference arena. All eyes were nervously twitching back and forth searching for sight of Fornell and Gibbs. Soon they were out in the bustling street and clear from danger of being spotted in the crowds.
"Okay, I'm hungry, let's go for pizza!" Tony beamed, rubbing his stomach.
Ziva snorted at him with disgust, "You are a pig! It has only been one hour since we had lunch!"
"Hey! I have a healthy metabolism," he replied and stuck out his tongue.
She extended her arm slowly and began tracing her finger slowly down the front of his shirt and twirling his buttons.
"Your healthy metabolism is starting to make the little buttons on your shirt, creak with the strain."
Finishing her comment with a sneer, she stuck her tongue out. He responded with a scowl, before pulling his jacket tightly across his chest.
"Guys, let's just take a walk before we go for something to eat huh? That way the rest of us can work up an appetite." Abby decided with a wry smile at Tony.
They walked along the long road with Big Ben in their vision. Abby took several photos of the team, ensuring that they were all in shot. Sacks helped too, by taking some photographs of them all together. Next, they saw the entrance to Downing Street and Abby once more clicked away with her camera. As they wandered further on, they spotted the tall soldiers, with their fuzzy hats standing guard.
"Hey, aren't they the soldiers that aren't allowed to move?" Sacks asked excitedly.
Ziva smiled and glanced deviously at Tony. He immediately recognised that dangerous look. It was the one which often pre-empted trouble or a prank. It also pre-empted him getting slapped on the back of the head for being at the butt of said pranks. As Senior Field Agent, he had to act, and act fast.
"No! Ziva! Down girl!" he said firmly, placing his two hands on her shoulders.
"I am Mossad Tony. I can break this soldier. I will make him move!"
Tim, Tony and Sacks attempted to halt Ziva's struggle to reach the soldier. Abby, meanwhile, had taken up position in front of him. She stared hard, taking in every detail of the soldier from head to foot.
"Are you bored?" she finally asked the young Guardsman, who remained still, staring straight ahead.
"You must get a whole bunch of people coming up and trying to make you move huh?"
She folded her arms and sighed.
"Our boss, Gibbs, used to be a soldier. Well, a Marine actually. He'd probably chew me out big time for saying he was a soldier. You see, Marines are different from soldiers. They still do a lot of the same things, but Gibbs will definitely tell you that a soldier is totally different from being a Marine."
With no obvious response or movement from the Guard, she continued,
"I work with Marines and sailors. I'm a forensic scientist with the Naval Criminal Investigative Service and I help them with all of their evidence. I am one of few people that can murder someone and not leave any trace evidence behind. Isn't that cool? I guess if that doesn't scare ya, nothing will huh?"
She sighed once more at the lack of response, and narrowed her eyes at the Guards' bearskin hat.
"I wonder if you could feel a Gibbs slap through one of those?" she whispered.
Finally, she took her camera and snapped several photographs. She stood tall and brought her hand to her brow in a stiff salute.
"Semper Fi Mr Guard! That's uh, like a Marine thing, for good luck."
Tony glanced over and rolled his eyes,
"Abby, will you pleasestop harassing that poor guy and help us with Ziva!" he yelled as he continued to struggle, in a sea of flailing arms, to stop Ziva approaching the Guard.
She calmly walked up and smacked both Tony and Tim hard upside the head. They instantly let go of Ziva and rubbed their heads.
"Owch! Abby! You been taking lessons from Gibbs? That seriously hurt!" Tim whined.
"She won't break him you know. He's been trained not to respond to anyone or anything. Even Mossad Ziva, sorry," she replied with a sympathetic smile.
Ziva, now released from her captors, smoothed down her clothes and walked calmly up to the Guard. She glared at him hard for a few moments.
"I once knew a man who deliberately ignored me."
She smiled gently, lowering her eyes and tilting her head and stood closer to him,
"When I was finished with him, he looked like a yoga instructor. It took three people to remove his foot from behind his head. They do say that the muscles were irreparably damaged. Personally, I think they were just, teasing me."
She narrowed her eyes and snarled in his face.
The Guard visibly swallowed hard and his eyes flickered slightly. He remained resolute and still, at his post.
She continued to stare uncomfortably at the poor, young man, long and hard as the team stood behind her.
"Look, Ziva, can we go now and leave the poor guy in peace? I'm hungry!" Tony complained with a whine.
Her eyes were still fixed on the Guard when all of a sudden she jumped in front of the him and shrieked loudly.
"Aaaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!!!!"
The soldier blinked in surprise at her outburst and then instinctively moved his rifle to his chest with stiff precision. He swooshed it onto his shoulder, and took a huge stride forward. He smartly turned to his left and marched a few paces, before turning and marching back and coming to a final halt in his original position.
Ziva smiled with satisfaction and dusted off her hands.
"There has never, everbeen a man, Mossad couldn't break!"
"EXCUSE ME! Young lady!" the voice bellowed.
A tall policeman, who had witnessed Ziva's taunting, approached her and tapped her firmly on the shoulder.
Without thinking, and as a result of years of Mossad training, she spun around in a flash and took a vice like grip of the officers arm. She twirled the man around and locked his arm painfully up his back. She launched him against the huge iron fence.
"ZIVA STOP! It's a COP!" the team yelled.
She immediately released her grip, and the stunned policeman rubbed his shoulder, gasping for breath.
"What the bloody hell are you playing at?" he barked as he grimaced in pain.
"I am sorry, I am too a law enforcement officer. It is a natural instinct for me, when approached from behind. I apologise."
The policeman, sensitive to her accent and that of the rest of the team, took out his notebook. He exhaled deeply and muttered under his breath, "bloody tourists!"
"Name!" he scowled.
Ziva rolled her eyes and took out her badge,
"Officer Ziva David, US Naval Criminal Investigative Service. I am the Mossad liaison."
The officer took her badge and inspected it for a few moments before handing it back to her.
"Okay, Officer David, I'll let you off with a warning, this time. These boys have a job to do, and it doesn't help when people like you try to do stupid things. Like make them move and stuff. It's not acceptable behaviour and we don't want that kind of thing round here. If I catch you harassing members of the Queens' Guards again, I'll have you up New Scotland Yard quicker than you can say Metropolitan!"
"Metro what?" she frowned sarcastically.
The policeman pouted and waggled his finger in her face, "You asking to be arrested?"
She was about to grab the offending digit when Tony stepped up to the policeman, blocking himself in front of Ziva,
"No, she is not, sir! Thank you officer, it's much appreciated. We won't cause any further problem, sir, you have my word. I am the Senior Team Leader and I will ensure that Officer David behaves more appropriately in future."
With a frown, the policeman gave a sharp nod and then walked on, leaving the team to sigh with relief. Tony glared at Ziva, who rolled her eyes and then smiled sarcastically. He then led the way as they continued down the street. They intended to return closer to the conference arena and catch a Tube at Westminster station.
"Okay, Westminster underground Tube station. Probie, how do we get to Covent Garden? The guy in the hotel said that there's some decent places to eat there, and a few bars."
Tim studied the Tube map hard, "Well...okay...uh...we can go back to Victoria then take a line north to Green park, change there and go east on the...uhm...dark blue...line or, we could go forward...I mean...uh...east, I think, to an Embankment. Then go on...uh...another line...and uh...change again and then eventually end up at...uh...Covent Garden."
Tim looked up to a sea of scowling faces.
"What? It's complicated! I normally do buses! I hate undergrounds. I get all...panicky!"
Ziva grabbed the map from him and began turning it round frequently and moving her head from side to side in an attempt to unravel its mystery. She also scanned the inside of the Tube Station and turned back to the map.
"Why do they call it a circle line when it is shaped like a bottle? I do not understand this. I vote we take a cab!" she finally said with bewilderment.
It was Tony's turn to grab the map from Ziva.
"It's called the Circle line, probably after the guy who invented it! And, we are not taking a cab!"
He thrust the map back into McGee's chest.
"You're in charge of Tubes McGee. Now lead on, before I slap your head so hard, and for so long, that you look like one of those Guards with the hairy hats!"
Tim glared in response, and with annoyed huff, headed towards the ticket machine to purchase five single tickets.
"Okay, we're heading this way, for the stop at Victoria," he stated, not so very confidently, as he led the way to the ticket barrier.
The Tube arrived, shortly after they had gotten to the platform, and they boarded for the short journey to Victoria station. Through the bustling crowds, they just about managed to stay together and Tim led the way to the next platform.
They boarded the second Tube, for the one stop journey to Green Park. Tony decided to break the almost mandatory silence which engulfed them, as they stood staring into nothingness.
"Hey Slacks, is this your first trip to London?"
Sacks rolled his eyes, "It's Sacks, stop calling me that! Yes, this is my first trip to London. I visited Scotland, the summer before I went to boarding school, but it's the first time I've been here."
"What was it like in Scotland?" Tim asked.
Sacks smiled wryly, "All I can remember was the rain. And not understanding a word anyone said. And getting totally confused watching a football game!"
Tony chuckled, "Ah, the old soccer versus football dilemma huh? You really should talk to Ducky on that one. I swear he could talk for hours on that alone!"
"Did you visit Edinburgh Castle?" Abby asked excitedly.
Sacks nodded and began providing more stories on his Scottish exploits. The team had lost track of their journey and were blissfully unaware that they were heading in the wrong direction. Eventually Tony frowned and he checked his watch.
"How big a park is this Green Park Probie? We've been on this subway for ages!"
A few minutes later and brightness once more seeped across the windows.
"That should be us now," Tim said confidently and then paled.
"Why are we at a place called, Vo, Vax? What is that? I cannot pronounce that!" Ziva muttered as she read the tube station sign.
Tim swallowed hard, "Uh...Vauxhall! Oh, God, I...uh...think we went in the opposite direction. Sorry guys!"
Groaning loudly, they quickly exited the Tube before the doors slid shut, and stood on the platform.
"Okay, so what do we do now?" Tony growled angrily at Tim.
"Uh...well...we uh...need to get back on the tube and...uh...go back the way we came, I guess."
"Ya think McNavigator?" he barked as he grabbed the map and handed it to Abby,
"Abby, you are now officially our navigator. Now get me, and especially my stomach, to Covent Garden before I go all 'Alive'and start eating Ziva!"
She snapped her heels together, saluted sharply and stood at the opposite side of the platform.
Successfully catching another Tube, they soon disembarked once more at Green Park and navigated to another platform. Abby led the way with a beaming smile and confident strides. As the Tube departed, they each peered out of the window into the darkness, carefully waiting for the next stop to make sure they were heading in the right direction. The darkness turned lighter, and the Tube made its slow approach to the station. They glanced at the wall of the brightly lit station and the name 'Westminster'.
"ABBY!" they yelled in unison.
"Don't yell! I hate it when you yell!" she whined, placing her hands over her ears.
Ten minutes later, there was silence, as the team bundled into a black taxi cab.
"Any Italian restaurant in Covent Garden please!" Tony barked at the driver.
"And make it fast will ya?"
To be continued...