"Is he okay?" a worried but familiar voice asked. There were sounds of people moving about and talking in low voices, but the person lying on the bed couldn't make out any specifics.
"I don't know if okay is the right word, but he's definitely alive. Kira's too strong willed to let himself die after winning the war." a second voice answered. This voice was also familiar. Athrun. That was it. Athrun was the second voice. Athrun was a... friend. That's right. Kira groaned and tried to open his eyes. The light immediately made him shut them again, but in his brief glimpse he figured out what was happening. He was lying on a bed; in a brightly lit room on what he guessed was the Eternal, since that was probably the most intact ship left of the three-ship alliance. Kira noticed that he was still wearing his piloting space suit, so he couldn't have been out for long. Standing around the bed he was lying in were Cagalli, Athrun and Lacus. All wore concerned expressions.
"His eyes fluttered! He's waking up!" The first voice said excitedly. It was Lacus. The girl who had given him her ring as a keepsake just before he had left to stop the war once and for all. The girl who both confused and entranced him above all others, whom he had kissed on the cheek and promised he'd return to.
"Oooh. My head hurts. Could someone turn down the lights?" Kira protested. He slitted his eyes open again, just as the room grew much more comfortably dimmer.
"Better?" Cagalli asked.
"Much. Though I still feel like I've been freshly squeezed out of a toothpaste tube." Kira replied. He made as if to sit up, but got no more than a few inches before he was forced to lay back down again with a groan. Almost instantly a cool hand positioned itself on his forehead and gently pressed him down onto his pillow. It felt really nice and comforting. Kira gazed upwards into Locus's sky blue eyes and noticed the drops of moisture welling up in their corners. "I'm fine, really. Just tired and worn out." he tried to reassure her. Lacus shook her head.
"I'm just so happy you came back. For a long moment there, I thought you weren't going to keep your promise." she said shyly in her lyrical voice. Kira attempted a brave smile, but must have utterly failed because she immediately pressed her hand down on him harder. "Don't get up, Kira. You don't have to do anything but rest now. The fighting is over." she told him.
"What happened?" Kira asked, suddenly curious. Athrun slapped his forehead with his palm.
"Are you serious? You don't remember?" Kira shook his head slightly. "I can't believe this. The guy practically saves the entire human race and he doesn't remember." Athrun said incredulously. Kira just looked at him earnestly. "Fine. Fine. You battled Rau Le Crueset to a standstill and eventually defeated him, though the Freedom was ravaged in the process. Rau was killed when the GENESIS fired. You yourself only barely escaped." Athrun informed him. Kira had a puzzled look on his face.
"But if GENESIS fired, what happened to the Earth?" Kira asked, worried again. Athrun looked embarrassed and rubbed the back of his head absentmindedly as he stared off into space.
"Well, before the beam could gather any real energy I self destructed the Justice inside it's power core and destroyed the weapon. It fired just long enough to totally vaporize Rau and his Gundam." Athrun explained. Kira stared at him and smiled.
"Wouldn't that make YOU the savior of the entire human race then? I didn't do anything besides duel a deranged madman. You destroyed the weapon that would have wiped out life on Earth." Kira pointed out. "How did you get out of there alive? There's no way that you could have outrun a nuclear explosion in just your spacesuit."
Athrun looked even more embarrassed. "Well... Cagalli sort of came in after me and reminded me that it wasn't my time to die yet." Cagalli stepped forward and grinned.
"What Athrun means to say is that I came in after him in the Strike Rouge despite his express wishes to the contrary and saved his butt by refusing to fly away unless he left with me. In order to kill himself he would have had to kill me too, and apparently he wasn't able to do that." Cagalli clarified with a significant look at Athrun that Kira totally missed.
"Thank you Athrun, for protecting my little sister like I asked. And thank you, Cagalli, for protecting my best friend, even though I didn't ask." Kira said sincerely.
"BIGGER sister." Cagalli insisted. "And I didn't save him just for your sake either." she continued in a quieter tone.
"Huh? What's that mean?" Kira asked, puzzled again.
"Nothing. Nothing at all. Hey Athrun, why don't we give Kira and Lacus some time to catch up with each other? We have some other stuff we could be doing." Cagalli said, turning a slight shade of red. The lights were too dim for anyone but Athrun to notice however. Athrun nodded and pushed off so he floated towards the door. Cagalli joined him at the threshold.
"Hey." Kira called. They both turned. "Thanks, both of you." they smiled and departed, closing the door behind them.
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"So what else is it we could be doing?" Athrun asked Cagalli as they floated along a corridor. She arced an eyebrow at him as if he was totally brainless. Athrun looked uncomfortable. "Um... well... err." he never got to finish his thought though, as Cagalli pulled him into another empty room and locked the door behind them. However, to his surprise, she merely sat down on the made bed. She patted the mattress next to her and sent him a significant look. Athrun shrugged slightly and sat down next to her.
"You and I need to talk." she told him and surprised him again by slipping an arm around his waist.
"About what?" Athrun asked cautiously. Cagalli turned and stared him in the eyes from less than six inches away.
"About you trying to sacrifice yourself without considering what it would have done to ME! About how you intended to renege on the promise to protect each other we made before even leaving the Eternal in the first place. That's what we need to talk about." She said vehemently
"But... uh... um... err." Athrun stammered, trying to think of what to say. Cagalli seemed to be waiting patiently for him to collect himself. "I... I couldn't figure out any other way to save the Earth without doing what I did." Athrun managed, turning his eyes away. He nearly jumped when Cagalli used her other hand to grab him by the chin and turn his face forcibly to hers.
"I'm not unhappy with you for deciding to blow up GENESIS by self destructing the Justice. It was a stroke of desperate brilliance." she informed him. Athrun started to relax. "I am, however, VERY unhappy with you because you were planning to kill yourself in the process. You and I swore we would protect each other before the battle, and yet you tried to send me away so I couldn't stop you from killing yourself." She continued sharply.
"I... I was trying to protect you from being destroyed along with me!" Athrun protested, starting to get annoyed. Cagalli released his chin and pounded him on his chest.
"You just don't get it, do you? You may have been protecting my life, but I still would have died if you had gone up with the Justice. I would have been alive, but dead inside. By killing yourself, you would have been slaying me just as much as if you decided to stick a knife in me right now!" Cagalli cried out. Athrun was dumbfounded. He was totally flatfooted and surprised.
"Ca-Cagalli?" he whispered. She ceased pounding on his chest with her fist and instead buried her face just under his chin. He could feel her weeping. "I... I'm sorry. I guess I didn't think of it that way. I-It's just that my Father... my Father's death... his final words... I just... couldn't..." Athrun started weeping himself now. His mind started playing back the images. Opening the door to the command room. Looking in, only to see his Father and another man floating through the air, blood pouring from multiple gunshot wounds. Of looking his Father in the face as Patrick Zala gripped Athrun by the shoulders and pleaded with him to fire GENESIS and wipe out Earth before gasping his last in a torrent of vomited blood. "I... just... just... felt empty inside. Like I had nothing left to live for. When... when I couldn't hack the self destruct system and avert disaster, I just snapped. I wasn't thinking straight. Oh... god." he sobbed. It took him several minutes to discover Cagalli was no longer nestled against him. He looked up with eyes full of tears.
"You do have something to live for, Athrun Zala. Just as I too, have something to live for now." Cagalli whispered into his ear. Athrun couldn't help himself. He shivered with pent up feeling. He stared into her eyes and found that they seemed to have become endless pools of understanding and... dare he think it... love.
"Ca-Ca-Cagalli?" he asked.
"Yes." She answered, before kissing him full on the mouth. After a few moments, they collapsed back on the bed together, arms around each other as they cried and kissed and cried some more, until they both feel asleep.
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"What do you suppose they meant by having other things to do?" Kira asked Lacus after the door had shut. Lacus just stared at him. She smiled slightly, wondering, between the two of them, who was the more naive. "And what did they mean about us catching up?" Kira asked a moment later. Lacus sighed inwardly. It was a good thing he wasn't this dense all the time. Maybe it was just because he really was worn out.
"You sure you're feeling okay?" Lacus asked, looking him straight in the eyes. He looked back, but his purple orbs turned away slightly as he replied.
"I'm fine. Just tired."
"Stop lying to me. You don't have too, you know." Lacus reminded him.
"Have to what?" Kira asked hesitantly.
"Have to not cry anymore. I thought we went over that already." she answered calmly. Kira looked her in the eyes this time. He couldn't stand it. Within seconds tears began welling up from deep inside him. Something about Lacus made him feel safe and comfortable. Like he could trust her and tell her everything. He moved his hand slightly and felt the ring she had given him where he had placed it in his pocket.
"I... I failed to protect someone. Again." Kira said miserably. Lacus nodded. Just as she had thought.
"The girl named Flay, right?" she prompted. Kira looked at her, startled.
"I heard Sai and Captain Ramius mention her name on my way to your room." Lacus explained.
"Y-Yes. Flay. Flay Allister." Kira managed.
"She was the one with red hair and the bad temper when I first met you at Junius Seven, right?" Lacus asked, trying to place the memory. Kira started again.
"Yes. Though she was just afraid, not bad tempered." Kira qualified. Lacus studied him.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked. Kira thought about it for a long moment, thinking back. Remembering. The kisses, the time he had slept with Flay, the time when he broke up with her at Orb. The sight of seeing her killed by Rau right in front of his eyes, just after he had thought her saved. Talking with her ghost afterwards, in the fugue state he must have been in.
"Not really." Kira replied. "Maybe... later." he continued gloomily. Lacus sighed and nodded her acceptance. It wasn't like she could force him to talk about it. Though she was sure it was eating him up inside. For a long time they just sat there silently, each thinking their own thoughts, each getting more steadily more depressed. Kira kept replaying the scenes of Flay's death and the death of her father over and over in his head. Oh Flay, I failed. I couldn't save you. Just like for your father. I'm worthless. I couldn't even save the people I swore to protect.
Lacus on the other hand, was despairing for an entirely different reason. I can't just tell him I love him! I don't know how he'll react! With all the emotional baggage he is carrying, I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell him without causing him permanent psychological damage. Worst of all, he just doesn't seem to notice my feelings! Am I being too subtle? But if I'm too obvious, I'll scare him away! He's so fragile. Like a diamond. He can cut through anything, but strike him a single hard blow and he'll shatter into a thousand pieces, never to be repaired. I fear that until he can clear his guilt, a relationship will only serve as that hard blow. But... it hurts me too. Please, please Kira, I desperately need you to care. I don't have anyone else!
The door suddenly opened, sending bright hallway light spilling in. Ysak poked his head in and looked around quickly. "Is Dearka in here..." he stared at the two of them, who were quite unconsciously weeping. Ysak looked uncomfortable. "I'm sorry. I guess he's not here." Without further ado, Ysak shut the door and jumped back into the hall.
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Sheesh, what was THAT? Ysak thought as he kept moving down the hall, checking each room to see if Dearka was inside. They were both just sitting there crying, looking like somebody had just died or something. Ysak paused his train of thought to check an empty room. Of course, a lot of people DID just die. Still, the way they were just sitting there silently, each crying... it creeped him out. The next two rooms were empty too. The third was locked. Ysak narrowed his eyes. It'd be just like Dearka to try and lock himself away to avoid talking to Ysak about important things. Important things like their responsibilities to the PLANTS, and why exactly Dearka had been staying on the Legit Ship for the past few months. Ysak studied the lock panel and quickly typed in a command override. It helped having a mother on the PLANT Council. Ysak had seen and studied the design specs for the Eternal the moment he had first been dispatched by Commander Le Crueset to hunt down Athrun. Listed on the specs were all the command overrides for the computer system of the Eternal.
The formerly locked room was brightly lit, which served to almost illuminate the situation Ysak walked into. "Hello, Dea...rka..." Ysak stopped, stupefied. Lying on the bed of the room, with their arms wrapped around each other and faces nearly touching were Athrun Zala and that Orb girl, Cagalli or something. They were both deep asleep. What the hell? How come I keep walking into these situations? First Kira and Lacus sitting within feet of each other but both crying like their best friend just died, and now Athrun lying with his arms around a Natural girl, after both of them had obviously cried themselves to sleep. Am I the only person NOT weeping? A sudden uncomfortable thought crossed Ysak's mind before he could stop it. Am I the only guy who doesn't have a girl who cares about him? No, no. Dearka doesn't either. Okay. Time to go. Ysak slowly backed out of the room and closed the door. After a moment's thought he relocked it as well. He continued down the hall, searching every room methodically, growing steadily angrier.
"God damn it!" Ysak slammed his fist into a bulkhead. "Where the hell did you disappear too, Dearka?" Ysak suddenly perked up, his refined ears having picked out a familiar voice.
"I'm really okay, you know. It's just a little cut." Dearka said from the near distance. Ysak grinned and pounced around the next corner.
"De...!" Ysak stopped even colder than last time. Dearka was leaning against a view port wall, looking out at space with his head turned slightly to the right. The reason for this was a brown haired natural girl in a pink Earth Forces uniform was dabbing at his left temple with a gauze pad, trying to staunch the trickles of blood coming from the scalp wound Dearka had suffered when Rau nearly destroyed the Buster. Neither the girl nor Dearka noticed Ysak.
"It's not good for you to be bleeding all over the place. Even if it doesn't hurt, you're getting the ship dirty." the girl said, her voice veiled. Ysak expected Dearka to respond with his typical detached sarcasm. That was Dearka's way, to riposte with a cutting remark whenever the subject of Natural's came up.
"Yes Mir." Dearka said humbly. Ysak's jaw dropped.
"Miriallia. Full name please. We aren't to the nickname stage yet." Miriallia corrected him. Dearka looked at her in surprise.
"I didn't even know we were to the you giving a damn about me stage yet." he replied. Miriallia smiled slightly.
"We aren't. But if you're good I might let you graduate to the person I occasionally talk to off of duty stage." she informed him with a slight twinkle in her eye. Dearka stared at her in incomprehension.
"I don't get you at all. For a while I thought you hated my guts. Now you're teasing me. Make up your..." Dearka stopped talking, because Miriallia had pressed her gauze pad to his lips.
"We certainly aren't to the you giving me advice stage. Besides, we have an audience." she tilted her head at Ysak. Ysak didn't know whether to be furious or appalled. Here he was, having searched nearly the entire damned ship, with important matters to discuss, and Dearka was getting a superficial cut attended to by a Natural girl who was jerking him around like a puppy on a leash. And Dearka wasn't even mad about it!
"Dearka! So this is where you've been hiding!" Ysak gritted out, shooting the Natural girl a glance that had sent many a Coordinator scurrying for shelter. Indeed, she did back up a step, but before she could flee Dearka put a hand on her shoulder and sent a glare of his own at Ysak, of all people.
"Stop looking at her like that, Ysak." Dearka ordered coldly. "It's not a very nice thing to do." Ysak's jaw dropped even further this time. He couldn't believe Dearka was siding with a Natural girl AGAINST him, his closest friend! Miriallia took a step away from Dearka's hand.
"I didn't say you could put your hand on my shoulder." she said primly. Dearka snatched his hand back as if he had placed it on a searing hot piece of metal.
"S-Sorry." he stammered. Ysak just stared. She had him whipped. It was sickening. This wasn't the Dearka Ysak had known for years.
"I'll leave you two to discuss whatever it is you're discussing. I'll meet you later. Bye." Miriallia said over her shoulder as she walked past Ysak. As she turned the corner she waved to Dearka. Grinning like a fool, Dearka waved back. As soon as the girl was out of sight, Ysak stepped forward.
"Would you STOP THAT!" he roared. "That was absolutely pitiful! You looked like a four year child waving goodbye to mommy!" Ysak continued. "What is it with Coordinators today? First Kira and Lacus crying like there's no tomorrow but not making a sound or looking at each other. Then Athrun sleeping with his arms around that Natural girl from Orb in a locked room with all the lights on. Now you, Dearka, getting a tiny little cut pampered on by ANOTHER Natural girl who is also yanking you around like a puppy on a chain! You didn't even get sarcastic! I think I feel sick!" Ysak ranted. Dearka just looked at him.
"Something bothering you, Ysak? It's Rau, isn't it?" Dearka replied. Ysak stopped in mid rage. To tell the truth, that was it. A man that Ysak had trusted and even looked up to all his military life had ended up being bent on a genocidal campaign to wipe out every last human, Natural AND Coordinator. Rau had also tried to kill Dearka, Ysak's best friend, right in front of him! And if half of what he'd heard from the crew of the Eternal was true, it had been Rau who had manipulated both sides into using nuclear weapons on each other by sending the plans for the N-Jammer Cancellers to Azrael Murata, the leader of Blue Cosmos! In short a major support of Ysak's life had been kicked out from underneath him in the last few hours and he had nobody to talk to about it!
"I tried to warn you." Dearka said, placing a hand on Ysak's shoulder. That was the worst part. Dearka HAD warned him, back on the Mendel Colony. Ysak had accused Dearka of being deceived and Dearka had asked if it wasn't Ysak that was actually being deceived. Ysak had been confused at the time, but now... NOW he knew exactly what Dearka had been trying to tell him.
"What is going on?" Ysak said, putting one hand to his head, which had suddenly started to ache horribly.
"I know. I feel like I've been cut loose from my foundations too, Ysak. I'd always believed the PLANTS were in the right. Now I'm not so sure anyone was anything but in the wrong. Sure, Junius Seven was a horrible and dastardly event, but our side just tried to end ALL life on Earth. And judging from what I heard on the Archangel a few months ago, the PLANTS would have eventually used GENESIS anyways, even if the Naturals hadn't tried nukes again. I mean, we did build the N-Jammer Cancellers in the first place." Dearka said into the silence, resting his head against the wall again. The silence stretched out again.
"What was that you said about Athrun sleeping with Cagalli?" Dearka asked suddenly.
"Humph. When I was looking for you I came across a locked room. I figured you were deliberately avoiding me and so I hacked the lock code and broke in. The room lights were on and Athrun was lying on his side on the bed, his arms around... Cagalli you called her... and vice versa. They looked like they had cried themselves to sleep. Their faces couldn't have been more than two inches apart." Ysak replied, sinking into a slouch on the floor.
"Which, of course means they'd been kissing, right." Dearka mused, slouching down next to Ysak. Ysak sighed.
"Probably. I never saw it coming. What the hell has been happening with you guys since that island outside Orb?" Ysak asked.
"You're jealous, aren't you?" Dearka asked, ignoring Ysak's question. Ysak started.
"WHAT? What makes you think I'd be jealous of Athrun?" Ysak demanded.
"You've never kissed a girl, have you, Ysak? And kissing your mom goodbye doesn't count." Dearka replied.
"WHAT? Where the hell did that come from? O-of course I've kissed girls before." Ysak protested, wondering where the hell his friend was going.
"Sure you have. What was the name of the girl you kissed?" Dearka said with a knowing smile. Ysak just stared at him, uncomprehending.
"I don't have to answer that. It's too personal." Ysak hedged. "Why are we talking about this?"
"Because I'm in love. I am jealous of Athrun, the lucky bastard." Dearka replied.
"You mean..." Ysak trailed off, wondering what had happened to his friend. Dearka had always been a bit of a ladies man. Dealing with girls was something he was actually good at. Ysak was phenomenally bad at the same.
"Yep. Miriallia. She fascinates me, Ysak. I can't get her out of my head." Dearka admitted. Ysak became curious.
"Why do you let her yank you around like that? Used to you'd never stand for that sort of treatment from a girl."
"... I said something really hurtful and stupid to her when we first met." Dearka replied.
"Huh?"
"I asked her why she was crying so much. I said maybe it was because her stupid Natural boyfriend had just gone off and died or something." Dearka paused.
"I can see why that might be upsetting, I guess." Ysak mused.
"That's not the worst part. Turns out her Natural boyfriend, named Tolle, had just died fighting Athrun in the battle when Athrun self-destructed the Aegis. His corpse probably wasn't even cold yet when I said that." Dearka whimpered at the memory.
"Ouch." Ysak felt his stomach drop at the thought of being told something like that. "What'd she do?"
"Tried to stab me in the head with a scalpel while I was chained to a bed. She came pretty close too. Her friends came in and restrained her, and that's when I learned about my verbal blunder. Then a second Natural girl, named Flay I believe came in with a gun and was going to shoot me. Before she could, Miriallia dived across the room and deflected Flay's aim and the shot missed. She saved my life... even after I ripped her heart wide open. Ever since then I could hardly stop thinking about her and how horrible I had been to her. I gotta make it up to her. That's why, as you said, I let her yank me around. Also because I truly enjoy it. She's so much more complex than every other girl I've been with before. When I turn on the charm she plays hard to get and when I don't she tantalizes me. It's driving me nuts." Dearka confessed. Ysak studied his friend.
"This is all just crazy. This whole day." Ysak complained.
"It's only going to get crazier, I fear." Dearka replied.