Disclaimer: I disclaim that I don't own the Office. I also disclaim that I don't own Dwight, however others believe I do. You know who you are.
A/N: Okay, sorry about the delay. Kinda busy. Things got in the way… namely American Idol and Lost. Sorry… I'm a victim of Sawyer's unfaltering charm. Swoon… Okay enough about that. But side note, I may have some LOST stuff up, if you're in this fandom and watch, be more than welcome to read that stuff as well. This chapter is probably the longest chapter of the story, a record breaking ten pages! It's totally worth it, though. Hope you enjoy!
12:42 pm
Michael was in his office, sitting on his desk in a nonchalant manner, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. He was still clad in his turban and bathrobe, going against Ryan explicit instructions. Creed and Kevin were watching his trance, praying to have their fortunes told.
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"I'm giving the office a public service." Michael pointed out into the office. "I'm giving them something that could change their lives. I am giving them something that they can treasure for a lifetime." Michael looked over at the window looking at the parking lot, "I am the giver and they are the giver–takers."
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As Michael was in mid-hum, Creed approached Michael and handed him a dollar, "Gimme my fortune."
Michael opened one eye and looked at the dollar. He scoffed, "Did you even look at the fine print?" Both Creed and Kevin looked confused. Michael rolled his eyes, "It clearly states the surcharge of $18.99." He closed his eyes again, "I need the fee to do the task." He folded his arms as if he was standing his ground.
Creed stood his ground as well, "I'm not giving you twenty bucks for a fortune. I'll just go somewhere else." He turned toward the door, being followed by Kevin.
Michael looked outraged, "You can't find better fortune than me." He started yelling, "I'm the real deal!" He got off his desk, "All other fortune tellers suck!" He screamed, "I'm the King of the Fortune Tellers."
Kevin turned toward Michael, "I'm pretty sure God is the King. He knows all."
Michael scoffed, "I know more. I knew about the fire. I knew about Jim's ankle. I know everything."
Kevin looked shocked, "Are you comparing yourself to God?" He had an expression of fear and disgust.
Michael looked scared, trying to cover himself; "I'm not comparing myself to God. I'm comparing myself to God's best friend."
Creed nodded, "Jesus." He wasn't aware that he pronounced the name in Spanish.
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"I have been worshiping Jesus in many countries for many years." Creed nodded at the camera, "Although, the faces always kept changing." He shrugged, "Well… what can you do? He is Jesus."
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Kevin looked confused, " 'Jesus'? Don't you mean 'Jesus'"?
Creed looked confused, "What did I say?"
Michael sighed exasperatedly, "Look, I'm not God or Jesus or Jesus. I'm Michael Scott. I have been blessed with this gift and I want my gift to be worshiped. Is it wrong I want people to pay to use it?"
Creed and Kevin give Michael looks of confusion and disapproval. Michael shook his head and walked out into the office.
As he walked out, Kelly was talking to Andy, "It's gonna be way fun. You should totally come." She handed him one of her festive invitations.
Andy surveyed the idea, "Yeah, I'll come. Sounds awesome."
Kelly smiled from ear to ear, "It is so gonna be awesome. It won't disappoint, I swear!"
She bounced a little bit and walked over to Phyllis.
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"I always kinda a had a little thing for Kelly." Andy shrugged, "Maybe I'll get lucky and she'll get really drunk." He nodded excitedly, "Or maybe I'll just get lucky without her being drunk. But her being drunk won't hurt."
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Everyone turned his or her attention to Michael as he made a loud sigh, "Who is the King of Fortune Tellers?"
Everyone looked confused. Jim piped up, "I'm not sure we understand the question."
Michael sighed annoyed, "Who is the King?"
Kelly uttered, "There's like dozens of them."
Michael waved her off, "Not monkeys or trees or whatever you worship."
Toby voiced, "Didn't we already discuss this when you thought the office was cursed?"
A few other people began to chatter with agreement.
Michael spoke through clenched teeth, "You're cursed."
Toby muttered in agreement, "You have no idea."
Michael spoke up again to the office, "Can someone give me a straight answer and tell me who the King is?"
The camera panned the office. Several of the employees sat up and started to vocalize some of their thoughts. Phyllis replied, "Sylvia Brown is definitely reign supreme. She's always on Montel."
Andy expressed, "Jean Gray from the Marvel comic book series. He is so awesome."
Oscar said, "How about Daniel Dunglas Home? He was huge in the 19th Century. He started the concept of séances in England." A few people nodded with interest.
Jim stated, "Yeah, and Edgar Cayce from the Depression Era or Nostradomas. He predicted World War II, Hitler and the falling of the Berlin Wall." More employees seemed to chatter with Jim's announcement.
Creed piped up, "So did Leroy."
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"Leroy predicted that the Berlin Wall would fall." Creed nodded, "And he was there."
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Meredith chuckled, "What about Chris Angel? He's sexy hot."
Kelly nodded enthusiastically, "He is so hot!" She stopped smiling however when she saw Darryl's face. " I mean, he's okay, if you're into that kinda thing."
Angela interjected, "It is God." She folded her arms, as if she was the only intelligent person to come up with that answer.
Michael shook his head, "You're all wrong. The King is me." He folded his arms similar to Angela, trying to pull off the small demeanor.
Angela looked disgusted, "Are you comparing yourself to God, again?"
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"About twice a year, Michael goes through this phase where he believes he's some mythical creature or a being of higher intelligence." Angela gave the camera a look; "This is his second attempt of trying to pull of being God." She gave the camera another look, "God of the morons."
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Michael took offense, "I'm not comparing myself to God or any God for that matter." The camera panned to Kelly, who looked on clueless. Michael continued, "I'm just saying that I have visions that should be worshiped."
Jim nodded, "Like God." Several employees seemed disturbed by Michael's attempts.
Michael looked stern, "No. That is not what I meant, at all." He nodded, "There was a man who had crazy ideas and visions and no one believed in him. He did have a small group of people that believed him, though. And that man was… a man named Jesus." He nodded matter-of-factly.
Angela cringed, "That's worse than comparing yourself to God."
Michael sighed, "Why not? I too have visions and disciples." He looked around from his loyal comrade. "Where the hell's Dwight?"
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Meanwhile, Dwight was pacing by the loading docks, waiting for Pam's arrival. He had his collar up and looking around suspiciously for any eavesdroppers. He checked behind the loading trucks. He looked through the dumpsters. He even resorted to looking around the trees, finding no one that should spy on him and Pam. He also made sure that he wasn't in the line of the cameras, trying to avoid their view at all costs.
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"What I'm about to do may cause my life and Pam's life certain turmoil, but that's a risk I have to take." Dwight took off his glasses and began to wipe, "Pam seems brave enough." He put them back on, "She'd do anything for that pathetic excuse for a human being, and that's the kind of attitude that gets the job the done."
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As Pam approached Dwight, she noticed that there was fog on the ground, giving the parking lot a murky and dense atmosphere. Dwight turned around and noticed her, "Glad to see you made it, Pam."
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"I'm here for one reason and one reason only." Pam tried to look serious in front of the camera, "I'm here to make a really boring workday into a very funny and silly workday and have Jim vicariously live through me." She smiled a little, "It would be really fun though if he were here." Her smile slowly turned to a disappointed frown.
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Pam nodded, "Thanks you, Dwight." She smirked at the fog, "Did you do this to set the mood?"
Dwight looked at all the fog and shook his head, "No, but it helps."
Pam tried to stifle a giggle, but shivered instead, "So… um... what do we do now? Are we gonna get started soon? It's really cold out here."
Dwight scoffed, "You really need to grow thicker skin. I have this protein shake that would do the trick. I'll give you the recipe later."
Pam chuckled softly, "Thank you." She walked up closer to Dwight as he unfolded the plan from his back pocket. She retrieved a memo pad from her coat pocket.
Dwight nodded with approval, "Very good, Pamela. I'm glad to see you're prepared." He proceeded to take out an additional plan from his breast pocket, along with a laser pointer and a metal rod that was similar to an antennae pole.
Pam quipped, "Did you get that off the office radio?" She looked up at him expectantly, trying to restrain the flood of giggles that were screaming to escape.
Dwight scoffed at the notion. He shook his head but noticed Pam giving him a skeptical look. He evenly stated, "Yes." Pam simply shook her head.
Dwight walked closer to the docks and spread out the plans on a nearby loading ledge. He pulled out the one from his breast pocket and used the antennae rod, "Michael was hit by the box in this aisle, generally in this area." He circled the spot with the laser, making red light circles.
Pam was looking on when she realized what she was staring at. She was looking at the blue prints of the warehouse. Impressed, she asked, "Where did you get these?"
Dwight shook his head, "I'm afraid I can't reveal my resources." He continued to measure the distance of the shelf to the floor when Pam turned to leave.
"I can't be in a secret alliance if there are secrets in the alliances that certain members of the alliance don't know about." She started walking away toward the entrance of the building counting down from five slowly, "Five... four... three... two..."
On one, Dwight stopped, "Pam, I'm sorry for keeping secrets in our secret alliance. I wasn't being a good alliance and I broke the secret alliance bond that no secrets should ever be in secret alliances. I have shamed myself." He bent his head over in shame.
Pam looked confused but nodded just the same, "You're forgiven, but you owe me."
Dwight smacked his lips, but nodded as they both went back to the ledge.
Dwight took out the previous plan and tapped the first point, "Our first move is to examine the crime scene. We need to explore where the incident took place, from there we can go more in depth with our plan."
Pam nodded, "So, in what way are we gonna examine the crime scene? Are we gonna take prints? Pictures? Sketches? I'm really good at sketches." Pam genuinely smiled for a moment, thinking that she could really put some of her skills to good use.
Dwight shook his head, "I like where you're thinking but I have something else in mind. We need to find the object that hit Michael. From there, I will run a series of tests."
"Tests? What kind of tests?" Pam looked around Dwight to see if he had sort of equipment for the tasks.
Dwight scoffed, "Only the basic tests for this type of metaphysical proportions. Known as METS." He shook his head, "You really need to watch Sci-Fi once in a while, learn something."
Pam nodded incredulously, "Apparently." Her mouth turned up a bit, "So... what does METS stand for?"
Dwight rolled his eyes, "If I knew this was the type of intelligence I was working with... okay, METS stands for: Magical, Evidentiary support, Theological and Schrute."
Pam stifled another giggle, "Schrute? What type of test is that?"
Dwight scoffed, "It a combination of the previous three, only more sever. It's a test that is banned in the United States. It's subject to involve cruel and unusual punishments." He shook his head, "When are people gonna learn that that's the only way to get the job done." He scoffed, "Stupid forefathers."
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"My great grandfather, Dwide Schrude, was a militant individual who came from Holland several scores ago. He was recruited into the Federal Bureau of Investigation for several months until he was stripped of his duties for performing said 'Schrude' tests. He was going to be sentenced to life imprisonment for treason, cruel and unusual punishment and bribery. Something about him torturing a Russian mob boss for cash," Dwight shook his head, "Irregardless, he stumbled across Pennsylvania's Amish Country and raised the rest of the now 'Schrute' clan." He nodded with pride, "He later changed the name of the tactic to stay under the radar."
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Pam nodded solemnly, "Yeah... giving us freedom and dignity. Terrible people."
Dwight nodded approvingly, "I'm glad you understand."
Pam simply rolled her eyes, "So what am I going to do? Will I perform said tactics?"
Dwight chuckled, "You? Please. First of all, you have weak arms. Second, no woman has ever been able to survive through the tests. They're much too intense and strenuous. You could burst a blood vessel or die."
Pam mocked alarm, "Dwight, do you really think that all of this is necessary?"
Dwight looked at Pam with disappointment, "Pam, don't be so naïve. Of course this is necessary. When I recruited you, you were sworn to be in this to the death."
Pam looked genuinely concerned, "I don't remember signing any documents."
Dwight shock his head, "The pinky swear. It's bonded us for life... and death."
Pam rolled her eyes, feeling silly for actually believing in what Dwight was saying. "So... what do I do that I'm capable of doing?"
Dwight nodded, "The one thing that woman are to the human race... a distraction."
Pam looked confused, "I'm the decoy?"
Dwight nodded, "Precisely. I need you to distract Pudge -
Pam corrected him, "Madge. Her name is Madge."
Dwight rolled his eyes, "Whatever. Distract the she-male so I can conduct my tests at the best accuracy." He began to fold up the plans and put them in his pockets. "If you don't succeed Pam, the world as we know it will perish."
Pam rolled her eyes, "Yeah... no pressure."
Dwight spun around, "Yes it is. The biggest of your life."
Pam nodded, "Yeah, I get it. It's extremely important."
Dwight shook his head, "I'm not sure you fully comprehend the magnitude of this situation, Pam. The world... the office is in danger. We have already had one casualty from this incident."
Pam looked confused, "Michael is the one with the gift -
Dwight shook his head, "Jim. He's the one who broke his ankle."
Pam looked more serious than she had ever before, "Let's do this."
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"Why am I taking this seriously?" Pam shrugged, "Maybe Dwight has a point after all. Ever since Michael was hit, weird things have been happening." She looked at the camera, which zoomed quickly at Jim through the window. It zoomed back to her, "Like the fog and... well, I just want it to end before someone else gets hurt,"
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"Do I think Pam has the talent and leadership qualities to handle such a responsibility as saving the world as we know it?" Dwight chuckled, "Let's just say that Pam has been recruited in The Dwight Schrute Army of Champions."
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Ryan was in the break room, looking through his agenda book, organizing his plans and his presentation for the meeting. He looked over the presentation on his computer, making sure that the PowerPoint presentation ran smoothly. As he was finishing up the final touches, Darryl walked into the room and headed straight for the snack machine. Ryan smiled, "What's up, man."
Darryl smacked his lips and continued walking toward the back of the room, shaking his head.
Ryan stood up and turned around, seemingly annoyed, "What's your damage? I did nothing to you."
Darryl looked over at Ryan and gave him the once-over, shaking his head, "You did enough to Kelly."
Ryan took offense, "That's really none of your concern." He folded his arms, trying to hide his insecure manner.
Darryl walked closer to Ryan, towering over him, "It's plenty of my concern." He smacked his lips; "Kelly was a wreck when you left." He shook his head, "I still don't know why she loved yo weak ass anyway."
Ryan got closer to Darryl, realizing their height difference, "What happened between me and Kelly was... inevitable." He cleared his throat, trying to sound convincing, "We both knew that we were going no where." He turned away, looking at his shoes, "I think she knew that deep inside too."
Darryl noticed that Ryan wasn't looking as confident as he did earlier when he was talking about Kelly. He shook his head, "I just want her smiling, not crying over you. Just stop hurting her and stop giving her false hope."
Ryan looked up at Darryl, realizing Darryl saw the look in his eyes at the mention of Kelly's name. He spoke even softer, "I don't want to hurt her."
Darryl rolled his eyes, "Well... you got a weird way of showing it." He backed up a little off of Ryan and got his snack, "Just stop hurting her."
Ryan nodded, "Okay." He smiled a little, "Truce?"
Darryl nodded, "Truce. But if you hurt her again, you know I'm gonna kill you, right?"
Darryl gave him a menacing look that sent chills down Ryan spine.
Ryan looked terrified, "Um... well..."
Darryl started laughing, "Don't worry, man. I'll give you an hour head start." They both chuckled; Ryan did mostly out of fear.
As Ryan sat back down and continued to work on his computer, Darryl asked him from the back near the soda machine, "You have any suggestions on what to get her for her birthday?" He chuckled, "I know it's all awkward and shit being your ex and everything, but I really wanna get her something nice."
Ryan looked from his computer screen and looked at Kelly through the window, where she was talking to Toby. She seemed to carry herself with more assertion than she ever did when they were together. She seemed to carry a certain air of confidence he knew that she possessed but rarely showed. She seemed more confident to everyone else because she was extroverted, but he knew that in reality, she was just as insecure as the rest. But looking at her now, she seemed so grounded and self-assured. A part of Ryan wanted to walk over to her and tell her how he felt, what he saw in her and how he wished things were different, but she seemed so happy. "She loves the necklaces at this store in Steamtown Mall. From this place called 'Links'." He smiled a little reminiscing, "There's this one necklace she talked about for months." He licked his lips, imaging her wearing it, "She'll love that."
Darryl wrote down the information on a scratch sheet of paper, "Links... necklace. Got it." He jumped up and rushed to the door, patting Ryan on the back, "Thanks, son. Nice one." He raced through the door and headed out the office.
As he watched Darryl leave, Ryan looked over at Kelly again, who was looking through a file cabinet. As she fingered the several files, Ryan remembered the cool sensation of her touch, bringing back fond memories in an awkward relationship. Looking back, he really enjoyed his time with Kelly Kapoor, and now more than ever wished that he could have that back. He repeated in his head, Her happiness is in your hands." He breathed, "I sure hope so."
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More to come. I wanted to get more into this chapter, but it would have been way too long. So… look for an update soon on this one. Thanks again for everyone reviewing this story. I have really enjoyed writing it. I am technically finished with the story; just have to make it sparkle. I'll try to update faster, just been busy.
Also, I am teaming up with ktface3 on a few stories. We also have a joint account, MBTandKT. Add it to your favorites list so you can get an email when we update our first story. Thanks again for your readership, it's much appreciated.
Now, I have written for your reading pleasure an excellent story. I would love to hear if you feel the same.
SO JUST REVIEW ALREADY!!!! YOU'LL GET A COOKIE!!!