Jeff was laying in a bloody heap on the cold concrete floor. He tried to sit up but X kicked him back down. Adam, Christian, Mrs. Copeland and Russ were also there. He had no idea where he was or how he had gotten there. All he knew was that he was absolutely terrified. He did not want to be here at all.

"You think Randy killing me changes anything at all?" X asked. "I got what I desired from you. I took your body and we were one. That won't ever change."

"Oh quit being so sentimental X," Adam snapped. "Everyone but Mom here has had a turn with Jeff. He's the community whore."

"I am not," Jeff protested.

Adam smirked. "Oh, you're not? Then how come you keep getting raped? It can only be not your fault so many times before you have to start to wonder what you're doing to cause it."

"And if you don't believe him, just look at the brand on your back," Christian added. "Once a slut, always a slut."

Jeff shook his head. "Shut up, you're not real. You guys aren't here. This is just a dream."

Russ pounced on him and pinned his arms down above his head. "A dream is a wish your heart makes." He kissed Jeff roughly and bit his lips. "This is your reality.

Jeff somehow managed to not scream as he woke up, which was really surprising. He took several deep breaths to try to calm his racing heartbeat and his shaking body. He had been home for two days and the nightmares were back in full force. Every bad thing that had been done to him was playing itself over and over again in his mind. It just wouldn't stop.

He got out of bed without waking Randy and went downstairs. His whole body was shaking, but now it was out of anger. Why couldn't all the bullshit stop? Why did people have to keep hurting him like this? He tried to be a good person. He really did. What in the world had he done to deserve all this shit?

"Fuck!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. He grabbed the lamp and smashed it against the wall. "Son of a fucking whore!" He picked up a vase and threw it on the coffee table. The vase shattered on impact but the table stood tall. That only pissed him off even more and the next thing he knew, he was jumping on the table and trying to stomp it to death.

"What in the hell are you doing?" Randy asked. All the noise had woken him up. "Why are you smashing everything?"

The coffee table broke under Jeff's assault and he fell right on his ass. Randy tried to help him up but he wasn't having any of it. "Get away from me!" Jeff yelled. He pushed himself away from the remains of the table and scooted backed towards the wall. "Leave me alone!"

Randy looked absolutely bewildered. "Jeff what's wrong?"

"What's wrong? What's wrong? What the fuck do you think is wrong? I can't fucking sleep! I'm fucking having nightmares every time I close my fucking eyes and I can't take it anymore! I can't fucking do it!" Jeff yanked out a chunk of his own hair and banged his head against the wall.

"Jeff, I know you're upset…"

"Oh save your shit Randy. How could you possibly know what the fuck I'm feeling? You don't have another rape to add to the fucking list. Shit, I've lost track of how many times this keeps happening to me." Jeff got up and stormed off into the kitchen. "At least you've got it easy," he told Randy. "All you've got to do is clean up the mess that's left each and every time."

Randy glared at him. "You think this is easy for me? Because let me tell you right now, it's not. I hate seeing you in so much pain. It fucking tears me up inside." He shook his head. "And for you to stand there and even begin to think I have it easy…well fuck you Jeff. " He sat down and put his head on the table.

Jeff glanced at the knives that were sitting on the corner. It would be so easy to grab one right now and cut his wrists. Hopefully he would cut deeply enough and make all of the pain and bullshit stop. But as he was reaching for one of the knives, he had a flashback to something Mark told him once. It had been after Russ, Christian and Adam's brutal attack, and it had been brutally honest, which was what Jeff had needed to snap out of his suicidal rage a little bit.

"You kill yourself, you kill all of us. Randy, Matt, Gil, me, Glenn, everybody that loves and cares about you--all of us will die if you do. Maybe not physically, but I guarantee you that we will be dead inside. We care about you more than you will ever know. We want you to rise above the shitty things that people have done to you, because deep down inside, we know you have the strength to do it."

Jeff sighed and put his hand back down to his side. He couldn't do that to everybody, especially Randy. "Randy?" he said slowly.

"What?" Randy snapped. It sounded like he was crying. "You going to yell at me some more for no fucking reason?"

"No. I was just wondering if you can move the knives. They're making me feel like I want to…well let's just say we better get them away from me."

Randy immediately caught on to what Jeff was saying. He quickly got up and Jeff looked away so he could hide the knives. Once he came back, they both just stood there for a moment. Neither of them were quite sure what to say.

"Let's go back to bed," Randy finally suggested. He looked really worn out. "We can talk about this shit in the morning."

"Technically it is morning. It's three in the morning."

"Jeff, please don't be a smartass right now."

"Sorry. And I'm sorry about the yelling."

"Are you sorry about our coffee table?"

"No. That thing was ugly anyway. Remind me to hit Matt for getting us that thing."