Of Jellyfish and Space Travelers
The Crusher
Ronon liked to crush people. Small people, large people, crazy people, sweet people…he crushed them all. It wasn't that is was something he liked to do…it was something he loved to do. "Hi, Ronon!" chirped Carson.
"Doc, I'd stay quiet if I were you."
Carson's eyes widened and his jaw twitched. "Why, are we bein' watched by the fed'ral government?"
"Does the federal government crush people?"
"Mmm…I suppose."
"Alright then. Yes, we're being watched by the federal government."
"Oh, we should call colonel Sheppard, I think."
"No, unless you want to be crushed into oblivion."
"Can I be crushed into Scotland instead?"
"OK, but you'll still be crushed."
"Yes, yes, yer right. I'd rather be on the run than be crushed in Scotland."
"That's right. Let's go find Teyla."
"Won't she be crushed as well if the federal government follows us?"
"No, they don't want to crush her."
"Why not?"
"Because she's pretty."
"I'm pretty!"
"And she's a woman."
"I'm a wom…never mind." Carson blushed and averted his eyes, whistling a made-up tune to the clouds. Ronon nodded sagely, continuing on his walk. "I have an idea! On our way to look for Teyla, let's get some soda!"
"Can we crush the cans after we drink them?"
"Sure, if ye want. But you have to recycle it after ye crush it."
"Okay, doc. Let's go get some."
Carson dug through his beach bag until he found a batch of dimes, nickels, pennies, and one quarter. Ronon pulled out a hundred dollar bill. "I got money."
"Ehh…I don't really think that'll do, Ronon."
"Why not?"
"It just won't…fit."
"I'll make it fit."
"Ye can't!" Carson protested. He sighed. "The machine won't accept it."
"I'll crush the machine if it doesn't accept it."
"Then how will we get drinks?"
Ronon blinked. For the first time, like, ever…Ronon couldn't crush something.