Of Jellyfish and Space Travelers
Lizard Hunters
Warning: This chapter was written at 1 am, so the normal rules of sanity may not apply.
"Oh, no. No." whispered Teyla, terrified. She pressed a hand to his mouth. He didn't. He couldn't have. Damn them!
John and Mitchell crouched outside, on the side of the bed. "Shhh!" hissed Cam.
"What? I didn't even say…"
"SHHH."
"But…"
"SHHH." Sheppard just grimaced. They were trying to catch a stray lizard that was loose in the room. They guessed that they were safe, because Teyla was in the shower. They might have been subconsciously hoping that she would step out…unawares, but let's not go there.
"Look! There he is."
"Hey, it's Nelson!"
"Doc!"
"It's Nelson, yeah? Look at 'im."
"Carson, help us get him out."
"Get who out? Is there a party someone forgot to invite me to?"
"General O'Neill!"
"Mitchell? Colonel."
"General."
"Doctor. What are we doing?"
"The lizard, Sir…"
"Lizard? Whoa."
"Rodney! Shhh, get down! We almost had him."
"What are you, the lizard hunter?"
"I swear, I got lemons, doc!"
"Who let HIM in here?"
"Oh, be quiet, all of ye!"
"Whoa."
"Hey, Chewie. What are you doing here?"
"Ronon, right?"
"Is that a lizard?"
"WHERE?"
"Crouch down here…Mitchell, move!"
"Does anyone have a book?"
"Danny's got one!"
"Where is he…? DANIEL! DAAAANIEL! DA-oh. There you are."
"Don't yell, Jack."
"What is this?" Every head snapped around to the door. Every man went pale. Teyla stood at the doorway, clutching a large, white towel that was her only cover.
"Oh, god…you didn't say she was in here!"
"Oh, crap…"
"I'm a dead man."
"Um, hello Teyla!"
"Miss Emmagan! Um, we're…"
"Sorry!" There was a mad dash for the door, bodies scrambling over each other and people being thrown out of the way.
"NOBODY MOVE!" screeched Teyla, sounding eerily like an enraged banshee. "Which of you men stole my clothing from the bathroom?"
"Cameron?"
"Jackson?"
"Not me! Look at Kirk over there!"
"Colonel, shut it!"
"Look at them, I'm here for the lizard."
"I was lizard hunting too."
"We all were." Mitchell said weakly.
"So none of you took my clothing?"
"Ah, no?" There was a pregnant pause.
"I'm sorry, Teyla…"
"Teyla, I got your…what the hell is this?" The men and woman looked over at the new arrival, Elizabeth. Her eyes were wide. In her arms were some clothes. "Oh."
"We'd better be going…AH! Hold it, McKay! General goes first! Then Daniel, Sheppard, Mitchell, McKay, Beckett, um…Ronon? Yeah. That it? Sorry again, Miss Emmagan."
After Jack left, there was a mad dash for the door, within which Jonas and Teal'c were bowled over in the doorway opposite. Samantha observed all of this from the end of the hallway. She spotted a small lizard on the ground and picked it up. She scoffed. "Men are stupid." she said, stroking the lizard's head.