Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or the characters.
Thanks so much for all the reviews! I've been overwhelmed by the response to this fic.
I was going to post this last night, but I ended up in hospital overnight. Yeah, turns out that taking a bunch of pills isn't a great idea. Who would've guessed? *lol* Not planning to try that again any time soon, not fun!
Hope you enjoy chapter three!
Kate motions for Dean to move back as she grabs the defibrillator, charges them, and presses them to Sam's chest to deliver an electrical shock to his heart.
She then looks over at the monitors. No change. "Step on it, Pete, this kid needs to be in the hospital, now!"
Dean watches helplessly as Kate shocks his brother's body again. He can't stop the tears, as he asks Kate. "What's happening?"
"Sam's heart stopped, probably because of the blood loss. I've gotten it started again, but he's still very sick." She replies after a moment, and before she does, she calls out to her partner. "He's back into sinus rhythm."
Dean hears her reassuring words, but all he can think is.
How could I let this happen?
Why did he do this?
Could I have stopped it?
Is he gonna die?
They arrive at Mercy Medical Center, about five minutes later. The paramedics rush Sam straight into a treatment room, Dean tries to follow, but an orderly help a nurse hold him back.
Dean kicks out, and tries to get away from them. "Let me go! I've gotta stay with Sam!"
Obviously the staff is used to this sort of thing, and the nurse calmly tells Dean. "Calm down. You need to take a seat in the waiting room, and as soon as Sam is stable, someone will come get you. But if you don't settle down, you will have to leave."
The threat of being taken even further away from his brother does the trick, and Dean stops fighting.
The nurse motions to the orderly to release him, and step back as she asks. "What's your name kid? Where are your parents? I'll need to call them."
"Already told the 'medics, name's Dean, and I'll call my Dad." Dean says shortly. Why does this matter when his brother is lying in a hospital after trying to fucking kill himself?!
The nurse is surprised by his attitude, but keeping calm, she says. "Okay. If you want to come with me, you can use the phone at the desk."
Dean merely nods, and then follows her over to the nurses' station. She hands him a phone, and he quickly types in his dad's latest motel room.
John answers after several rings. "Yeah?"
Dean can tell straight away that John is busy. "Dad. Um..." At this moment all Dean wants to do is cry, and beg his father to come home and take care of everything, but after taking a breath to calm himself, Dean says. "You need to come home Dad-"
John interrupts his son. He is in the middle of researching a hunt, and doesn't want to hear about whatever Dean is calling about. Sam probably wants me to come to some stupid school thing. "I'm busy, Dean. Can't you handle whatever's going on?"
Dean doesn't know how else to get through to his stubborn bastard of a father, so he simply tells him. "We're at the hospital. Sam tried to kill himself, Dad."
"What?" John questions. He must have heard wrong, Sam would never do that.
Dean sighs sadly as he repeats. "Sam tried to kill himself."
Dean can hear John put the phone down, and swear a lot before coming back on the line. "How?"
"I found him in the bath, he slit his wrists. There was so much blood, Dad. And I can't believe I didn't notice before, but he's gotten really thin Dad, really thin."
"Damn Dean, I thought you could take care of him." John says, the disappointment clear in his voice. "What hospital are you at?"
"Mercy Medical Center, it's near our motel."
"I'll be there in a couple of hours, Dean." John says quickly before hanging up.
As Dean hears the call end, he turns around to face the nurse, and tells her. "He'll be here in a couple of hours."
"Good." She replies simply, hiding her true opinion - these boys are just kids, what's their dad doing leaving them alone?
Dean then asks. "Can I see Sammy now?"
The nurse thinks for a moment before answering. "I'm not sure. How about you go to the waiting room, I'll go check on how Sam is doing? If his doctor agrees, I'll take you to see him."
Not like I really have choice here. Dean thinks before replying. "Fine." And following the nurse to the waiting room.
It takes over an hour and a half for the nurse to return, and by then Dean is looking about ready to kill the next staff member who walks through the doors without news on his brother.
The nurse walks over to Dean, and tells him. "Sorry to keep you waiting, Dean. We're very busy today." She takes a seat, and motions for Dean to sit beside her, being as exhausted as he is, Dean sits down. "I spoke to our pediatric intensivist, Dr Wilkes; he's overseeing Sam's care. Sam has been moved upstairs to the pediatric intensive care unit."
"Intensive care?" Dean asks weakly. My brother's in the ICU! How could I have screwed up so fucking badly?!
The nurse looks at Dean sympathetically. "Yes. He lost over half his total blood volume, and that caused his heart to stop, twice. They've stabilized him, but Sam is still in an extremely critical condition. He's lucky to be alive."
Dean can only nod in acknowledgement.
"You can go see him if you like, but only for a minute."
Again, Dean nods. He then follows the nurse towards the elevators.
About five minutes later, Dean reaches the nurses' station, and is promptly introduced to Sam's nurse, Kristy. She then takes him into a small family room, and sits down with him. "Dean, I just wanted to take a minute to speak with you before you go see Sam."
Dean says nothing; he still can't believe what's happened.
Kristy then tells him. "Sam is in a critical condition. He can't breathe for himself, so he's currently on a ventilator, but if he doesn't have any complications, he shouldn't be on that for long. And there is a number of other machines and pieces of medical equipment in Sam's room, try not to worry about it, it is all there to help him."
All Dean wants to do, all he needs to do, is see Sam, to apologize for not seeing that something was wrong sooner. "Can I see Sam now?"
Kristy nods, and stands up as she says. "Sure, follow me."
Kristy takes Dean over to Sam's bed, and wordlessly leaves him there. She can tell he needs some time alone with his brother.
Once she's left, Dean sits down in a chair beside Sam's bed, and cautiously takes Sam's hand in his own, being careful of the thick white gauze bandages encircling his wrist. "Damn, Sammy. Why did you do this? Why didn't you tell me something was wrong? I would've tried to help." He pauses a moment before saying, with tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Sam. I should have been there for you. I'm so sorry."
TBC...
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