There's not going to be much point to the fluffy comedy anymore. 8D Just some KittyxJakobness. Have fun!
Kitty dumped the eggs onto a plate, and plopped it down on the kitchen table. She examined the two plates of food, the empty seats, and sighed.
"JAKOB! GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE AND EAT YOUR BREAKFAST!"
There was a loud thump from upstairs, and she knew she had woken him up, and he had fallen out of bed. Even if it was eleven in the morning. She smirked and started cleaning up. After a few minutes and some quiet cursing, Jakob slouched into the kitchen in a T-shirt and jeans, his hair sticking up wildly in all directions.
"Why, hello Sleeping Beauty. I feel honored to be graced with your presence, Your Majesty."
Jakob grunted, sat down, and shoveled eggs into his mouth, not necessarily in that order.
"I think Nathaniel and Bartimaeus are coming over today, so please try to be happy, alright?" Kitty sat down opposite him and put some salt on her eggs, digging in.
"I am happy. Really. And Nat and Bart come over every day. I'd be even happier if you got a restraining order for 'em."
"Well, no one said you had to live here. Go find someone else to mooch off of."
Jakob swallowed a little too loudly. "You know I can't do that. The… um… rising prices of flats and all. Yeah, I only have limited money, Kitty. I'm sorry." He wasn't.
Kitty glared at him, but didn't respond. They finished eating in silence, and Kitty started on washing the dishes afterward. Jakob hesitated in the doorway, glancing back at Kitty nervously. Finally, he shuffled back over to her and stared down at his socks shyly.
"Thanks, Kitty. For breakfast. And letting me live with you and everything. Really, I appreciate it. A lot."
Kitty blinked at him. "Uh… you're welcome. I can't have my best friend thrown out of the streets, can I?"
Jakob glanced up at her again, and blushed. Then he leaned forward quickly and pressed a kiss to Kitty's cheek, then scuttled off to his bedroom to hyperventilate for the next hour or so. Kitty just stood there, shocked, a soapy dish in her hands, and the sink still running. She snapped out of it when there was a knock on the door. She dropped the plate into the sink, turning off the water and drying her hands. She'd finish later. She had some swooning to do. Kitty yanked open her front door, angry at whoever ruined her blissful state of love.
"I saw the whole thing, and I do not approve."
Bartimaeus got an elbow in the rib. Nathaniel glared at him.
"Kitty, Bartimaeus is just being stupid. Jakob hasn't been nearly as evil to us as he could be."
"I still don't like him. He stares at you a lot."
"He's wondering why the Hell I put up with you, idiot," Nathaniel said affectionately.
"Still, he should be staring at Kitty. She was the one he kissed. And speaking of which, I think Kitty is in shock."
She barely even heard this conversation, as she had gone into happy blissfulness again. She vaguely remembered Bartimaeus towing her over to the couch, a hand being waved in her face, and getting shaken violently.
"I think we should throw dear Jakey out a window. We can't have him putting Kitty into a coma every time he touches her!"
"Bartimaeus?"
"Yes?"
"Shut up."
"Shutting."
Kitty giggled quietly, her eyes focusing on their faces. "Nathaniel, you say that like it's possible."
"She's alive! Whoo!" Bart cheered happily. He got an amused look from Nathaniel. "Oh… I'm supposed to be shutting up, aren't I? Sorry."
Kitty rolled her eyes. "Anyway, are you people spying on me or something? Don't I get any privacy?"
"Apparently not. Bartimaeus and I peeked in the window. You really need a curtain for that thing."
"Well, why don't you buy it for me, Mr. Moneybags? I wouldn't even have this house if it weren't for you."
"You say that like it's a bad thing!"
"It is. Now I'm in debt to you."
"No you're not. You saved me from the Golem that one time, right? Aren't I worth putting up with one measly house for a couple decades?"
Kitty pretended to think about it. Bartimaeus hopped up and down, his brow furrowed in agitation. He was still trying not to talk.
"What, Bartimaeus?"
The djinni took a deep, exaggerated breath. "Wow. I forgot how hard it is to not talk. Anyway, I'd just like to say, Nathaniel is worth fifteen houses, and I saved both of your backsides multiple times. That is all."
Kitty's hand twitched toward the pillow, getting ready to smack him. Bloody demons. Jakob trailed down the stairs hesitantly, practically radiating awkward. He glanced at Kitty, blushed, and then stared determinedly at Nathaniel. Bartimaeus growled possessively. Everyone ignored him.
"Hi, Nathaniel."
"Hello, Jakob."
"I SAW THE WHOLE THING! CHEEK-MOLESTOR!" Bartimaeus exploded. Nathaniel shoved him down onto the couch and sat on him, struggling to keep a straight face.
"I'm sorry, Jakob. Bartimaeus is supposed to be shutting up." Natty glared at said djinni, who was on his stomach, Nathaniel perched on his lower back.
"I don't have to obey you," Bart grumbled petulantly.
"I'm your master, remember? You must bend to my will, demon."
"Ooh, mister scary magician, please, not the Shriveling Fire!"
"I will, if you don't hush."
Kitty and Jakob made faces to each other. The exchange was so sarcastically lovey-dovey, it was downright puke-inducing. Nathaniel seemed to notice this, and quickly got off his boyfriend (or is it djinnifriend?).
"So, Kitty and our dear Jakey are a couple now. Great," Bartimaeus grumbled, pulling Nathaniel close to his side. Kitty said nothing, choosing to hum to herself and braid a piece of her hair. Jakob blushed awkwardly. Bartimaeus blinked. "Gosh, you're the shyest couple in the history of forever. No wonder you never got together before now!" Kitty glared at him.
"Well, Barty, let's talk about your and Nat's relationship, shall we? I knew you liked each other before you did. You two are the thickest couple in the history of forever." She stuck her tongue out at him.
"Well, at least we're practically made for each other. What other magician would stop and even consider the thought of loving a djinni, hm?"
"Makepeace," Kitty snapped. "He writes a bunch of plays about spirits and humans getting together and all that."
"Okay… name one that isn't insane, dead, or fictional, please." There was a pause of consideration. "Haha. Told you." Kitty scowled. Jakob shifted awkwardly over to an armchair, getting tired of standing. Kitty paid no attention to him.
"Oh yeah? Well, if you're such the perfect couple, what are you going to do about Nathaniel's humanity, huh? Even you have your faults, Bartimaeus. Stop acting all arrogant."
Bart sniffed. "No, I'm perfect. Really. Back in Prague, I heard of a certain Philosopher's Stone, which lets the user live forever. And once we find it, you're not getting immortality, 'cause you're being mean. Nya."
Nathaniel and Jakob glanced at each other. Kitty and Bartimaeus kept going at it, Kitty saying that she had actually found someone within her own species, and she didn't need any Stoned Philosophers or whatever.
"They're idiots," Jakob announced after a few minutes, getting the others' attention.
"Yeah. But they're our idiots," Nathaniel said.
"I think Bartimaeus is rubbing off on you," Kitty said suspiciously.
"I know. Slap me if I get too much of a romantic, okay?"
"Sure thing. I'll get my white gloves, and we'll do it the old fashioned way," Kitty said, and Bart scowled.
"Hey, youngins. I'm five thousand years old. Have a little respect, alright?"
"You act like a two year old. You'll get over it."
"I'm your two year old romantic."
"Bartimaeus?"
"Yes?"
Kitty, Nathaniel, and Jakob all said at once, "Shut up!"
Bart sniffled. He felt so unloved.