Sorry for the lateness. D: It was my birthday, and I got tons of presents I needed to play with, and we might be adopting my niece pretty soon... Yeah. Bunch of crap going on. OH. And I was sick for two weeks straight. ox Also, I reread the last chapter, and I seriously didn't mean to make it that funny. I mean, I was laughing the whole time, and I wrote it with a straight face! xD I guess I forgot about some of Bart's stupidness or something. Oh well. STOREH TEIM.
I'll tell you people something. Long ago, when things called manners existed, djinn were treated with the tiniest respect, since we're infinitely more awesome than humans. Now, though, it's like I'm a dog. I should probably set up Kitty's death, and then swoop in at the last minute and save her, then gloat about it for a few days… or decades. Though, it's Kitty we're talking about. She might actually save herself. Oh well.
I was serious about that Philosopher's Stone, though. Don't think I'd go and off myself if Natty dies. Hell no. It'll take a few… centuries, to be truthful, but I'll get over it. I'll live. Maybe. But, I don't exactly want to test that theory quite yet, thanks. So Nathaniel is getting immortality whether he likes it or not.
Also, I was being honest about Kitty not getting any. No way. I've lived through tons of crap that I probably shouldn't, and after nearly getting assassinated five times a day, it gets kind of old after a couple thousand years.
I wouldn't want that life for Kitty, especially since she's so young. She and Jakob would have to move around from place to place every year or two, or else people will start getting suspicious. Nathaniel, on the other hand, will just have to get over it. He's mine. RAWR.
Ahem. Anyhow, Natty-boy lets me go wherever I want on Earth now, as long as I don't get killed, understandably. I usually don't leave for more than a few hours, but I took one weekend off to Prague, and started asking around. Didn't get anywhere, obviously. Anyone that had immortality would have faked tons of deaths, changed their name twelve times, and such. But, the general rumor is that Nicholas Flamel and his wife live together in peace, all immortal and stuff. Yeah. I'll see about that.
I tried bringing it up with Nathaniel, and he said that he wanted to spend eternity with me and all that, but none of us know how to use the Philosopher's Stone. We'd have to ask Flamel nicely about it, which means no stealing. So that's out.
I also tried other 'myths,' like the Fountain of Youth. Well, turns out that one isn't real, sadly. I've never heard about anything else that gives immortality. So this kind of stinks, understandably. That still doesn't keep us from bugging Kitty every day, though. Hopefully if I'm in the house, Jakob won't try anything creepy. Nathaniel forbids me from spending the night over there, though.
Two days after Jakob's little kiss of death, I was standing on Kitty's doorstep, Natty-boy at my side, banging on the door. Kitty ripped open the door, her hair a mess, and looking half asleep. Oh, and she was in her baggy pajamas. She gave us a death glare.
"Give my three good reasons for why you're here so early, and I might not kill you."
"We love you!" I chirped enthusiastically.
"I said good reasons."
"Bartimaeus is an idiot," Nathaniel offered. Kitty nodded approvingly.
"What? But you won't take mine? Gosh, you're such a jerk," I said with a pout, and crossed my arms over my chest. Nathaniel chuckled.
"Bartimaeus doesn't need to sleep, so it's kind of boring at our house at night," he added. Kitty nodded again. And, you guessed it, I pouted, too.
"I know of something to do at night that will keep me entertained, if you'd like to…"
"No," Nat snapped. "You're a pervert. Maybe it'll happen once you admit that I'm going to be on top."
I scoffed. "Natty, Natty, Natty! You know it doesn't work that way. The most aggressive one gets to be on top. And if I'm not mistaken, that would be moi."
Nathaniel sniffed. "Have I mentioned that Bartimaeus is an idiot?"
"Yes," Kitty said.
"Oh… well… He's a scumbag pervert."
"What does that have to do with us coming over to Kitty's place?" I asked pointedly.
"You would only use our 'alone time' to be more of a pervert, so I hide behind Kitty."
"Good enough. Come on in," aforementioned teen mumbled with a yawn, and stepped aside. I whooped and skipped past her, flopping down on the couch. But I ended up in Jakob's lap, since he was, apparently, sitting there. Oops.
Natty and Kitty both turned a weird purple color, and Jakob kicked me onto the floor without even looking up from the newspaper he was reading. While I tried to get to my feet and flop onto the second couch, Kitty snuggled up beside Jake possessively and Nathaniel nudged me in the right direction. Once I settled down, he sat in my lap. Weird. Usually I had to stealthily move Nathaniel over inch by inch, or else he'd blush like mad.
"So, since when does Jake get up before noon?" I asked casually.
"Since this," he stated, spreading the newspaper out on the coffee table and jabbing a finger at the headline. Usually in news, it's always bad stuff. You hear about the twenty million people killed all over the world, but never about that famous charity drive that gathered more money for orphans than any other charity in the States. No, people would rather hear about all the soldiers killed in wars everywhere. Don't ask me how humans work, because I don't know.
This particular headline was pretty good, in hindsight. 'Man Miraculously Survives Fall.' I quickly scanned the article in half a minute, and shrugged.
"Huh. I guess that guy's pretty lucky. Still, why's that so important?" I asked boredly. Nathaniel snatched up the paper, reading it more thoroughly than me. He sighed patiently.
"Because. Humans might survive a fall from the top of a two story building, maybe even three or four if they have something to break it, but eight stories? That's about… thirty meters, give or take. And this man fell straight onto the concrete, head first. The impact would have killed him instantly. He was knocked unconscious, taken to the hospital, and he was hardly hurt. He woke up a couple hours later, and started walking around. Witnesses say he fell. His wife was there, but she fled. He refuses to give out personal information or have any tests done. The doctors say he looked about forty, but they can't be sure."
I blinked and stared at the paper over Nathaniel's shoulder. "What? Where was this?"
Nathaniel scanned the passage again. "Prague, Czech Republic." He glanced at me, confused. "Why?"
I chewed on my bottom lip. "Nathaniel, think about it. What does this look like?"
Surprisingly, Jakob answered, and rather gravely, I might add. "That's why I was reading it over and over. All the clues… it's painfully obvious, if you know what to look for."
"What?" Kitty demanded, glancing between us confusingly. "Cut it out. It's too early for riddles."
"It looks like Flamel isn't as careful as I thought he was," I mumbled to myself, and threw the newspaper onto the coffee table.
"Flamel?" Nathaniel asked. "Isn't he that legendary Alchemist? Are you saying this guy is Nicholas Flamel?" I have to hand it to the kid. He catches on quickly. "Wasn't he supposed to be dead 600 years ago?"
"Not if he has the Philosopher's Stone," Jakob replied bitterly. Kitty looked around sleepily. I think she might finally be catching up with us.
"What does that have to do with anything?" We all turned to stare at her. Okay, maybe I was wrong. Jakob gave her a quick outline of everything. "Well, isn't it a little weird, then, that just after Barty starts looking for it, this mysterious Flamel guy pops up?" she asked, frowning.
"I don't know, and I don't care. I'm going to Prague to shake this guy down and take his stupid stone," I growled, glaring at the newspaper. Nathaniel sighed.
"First of all, I'm coming with you. Second, I told you, jumping him isn't going to work. Third, I'll have to dismiss you until I'm in Prague, because of their tight security and such. Also, I'll have to get some clean clothes that don't have magic on them," he said, flinching at the bad memory of his last trip to Prague.
"It's your turn to do the laundry," I teased.