Obviously, I've got a bit of a plot going on here. :P S'not very good, but I just kind of thought it up and I really liked it, but I guess I won't really get another chance to do this plot unless I make another fic almost exactly like this one. So... yeah. Deal with it. :D
Nathaniel was about to inform Bartimaeus about how stupid he was being, but he was interrupted by a knock at the door. They all glanced at each other. Who would be looking for any one of them? Jakob wasn't wanted by the government… yet. Kitty was excused for the Resistance thing for helping the magicians during the Glass Palace incident. Barty hadn't done anything to make anyone think revenge is necessary in quite a while. Nathaniel sighed and stood.
"I'll get it," he announced. Everyone looked panicked for a moment. "It's probably the mail man, you paranoid creeps!" he snapped. Honestly. It's not like they're all on a hit list.
…Okay, so maybe they are, but that's beside the point. He stomped over to the door and ripped it open, ignoring Bartimaeus who jumped up after him protectively. On the doorstep stood a small imp, looking rather nervous and twitchy. He glanced up at Nathaniel, paled, and gulped quietly. Of course, Bartimaeus had to make it worse by looming over Nat's shoulder, giving the imp his Nathaniel-is-mine look.
"A-Are you M-Mister J-John Mandrake?" the imp stuttered nervously. Nathaniel nodded, shoving Bart back slightly so he wasn't breathing down his neck.
"Yes. I'm Mandrake. Do you have a message for me?" he asked, managing to keep calm and fight a one-handed battle with Bartimaeus at the same time.
"Yes, sir!" the imp squeaked, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible. "Prime Minister Rebecca Piper says she needs you at Parliament as soon as possible, sir. It's urgent, sir. And she says to bring your friends, sir," he said quickly, shifting around on the spot.
Nathaniel nodded and opened his mouth to say something, but Bartimaeus cut him off. "Piper is the PM? Wasn't she one of your secretaries or something?" he asked, poking Nathaniel in the arm. Nat sighed and nodded, opening his mouth again, but Bart cut him off once more. "Oh! Oy, imp! Tell Rebecca that Barty says hi!" he said excitedly. The imp gulped. Who would dare call the PM 'Rebecca'? Well, no one but Bartimaeus, obviously.
"Thank you. Tell Ms. Piper that I'll be at Parliament in an hour," Nathaniel said quickly, before Bart could add anything else. "You may go now." The imp flew off at top speed. Nathaniel closed the door and returned to the couch, rubbing his forehead with a groan.
"What's wrong?" Kitty asked. Bart followed Nathaniel like a hawk and 'casually' sat down beside him, leaning his head on Nat's shoulder.
"Piper wants me at Parliament," he informed her with a sigh. "I really don't want to go back there, but… I guess I'll have to. She said you guys can come too, if you'd like."
"Why don't you want to go to Parliament?" Bartimaeus asked.
"Because it reeks death and destruction," Nathaniel replied casually.
"Oh."
There was a brief silence, and then Kitty giggled. "So, Nathaniel's stopped being blind?" she asked.
"Looks like it," Jakob said boredly.
Nathaniel glanced back and forth between them. "What?" he asked.
"Oh, it's nothing! Don't worry your pretty little head about it," Bartimaeus said affectionately, patting him on the head. Nathaniel huffed and stood up.
"Whatever. Are we leaving or not?"
They all got ready in silence. Well, at least Kitty did. She was still in her pajamas. After that, they waved down a taxi and rode to Parliament again in mostly silence. It was too early in the morning for flirting and mentally scarring the driver.
A while later, they arrived at their destination. Nathaniel paid the driver, leading the others inside and to the main conference room. There were few ministers he recognized now. All the others were dead, apparently. A short, balding man with a walrus-like mustache was giving Piper the outline of something.
"…popped up after Gladstone captured Prague, too. There were rumors of the man that wouldn't die, and his peculiar wife that never speaks. The government didn't pay much attention to it back then, but I managed to find it, I did! I tell you, Flamel is back!" he declared gruffly, banging his fist on the table. Nathaniel jumped slightly in surprise.
"Flamel? He's actually real?" Kitty asked blankly. Piper looked up and smiled wearily, her hair falling out of her bun.
"Kitty, John, Bartimaeus, I'm glad you could come! Um… Who's your friend?" she asked warily, staring at Jakob.
"My name is Jakob Hyrnek, ma'am," he mumbled, trying half-heartedly to cover his face with the collar of his shirt. Kitty slapped his hand away and flattened his collar down, then held his hand, which made Jake blush. Piper didn't seem to notice.
"Oh. Well, hello, then, Jakob. It's nice to meet you. About your question, Kitty, it does seem that way. Flamel's Philosopher's Stone was tested on various animals in his time by the government. It was proved that it was real when the animals didn't die, even when… oh, I don't know, injected with poison or something. The Stone was confiscated and destroyed, and Flamel was told to not tell anyone and never make another Stone again. He was reported dead at the age of forty-five, and his wife followed soon afterward." Piper paused to rub her temples with a sigh, looking very tired. "Once I heard the news in today's paper, I sent an agent out to dig up their graves, and they were both empty. It seems Flamel didn't listen to the government after all."
Bartimaeus frowned. "And where do we come in?" he asked.
Piper smiled slightly at him. Some of the other ministers began whispering to their neighbors in a very conspiratorial-looking way. "You and Mister Mandrake have been very good at these types of things before. I want you to go to Prague, hunt down Mr. Flamel and his wife, and tell them both to be a little more careful, please, and hand over his Stone. If he does not comply, we will have to put them in federal prison for a couple centuries," she said with a chuckle. Bartimaeus raised his arm up into the air. "Yes, Bartimaeus?"
"Can I roast them over a slow flame?" he asked bluntly, his hand falling to his side. Piper giggled quietly.
"No, don't hurt them. We don't want them mad with us, do we?" Bart's hand shot up in the air again. "What?"
"Can I at least dangle them off a roof? I won't injure them; just shake 'em up a bit."
One of the other ministers tapped her chin thoughtfully. "That probably would work, you know…"
"No torturing!" Piper snapped, scowling at the woman. She and Bartimaeus flinched.
"You're no fun, Rebecca," Bart replied with a pout, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Well, you can't really hurt an immortal, because, y'know, they're immortal…" Jakob said slowly, an eyebrow raised.
"They can still feel pain, obviously. Think of their feelings, Jakob! Gosh," said Kitty sarcastically. Jakob frowned at her, and opened his mouth to argue.
"Alright! Anything else we need to know?" Nathaniel asked quickly and a bit too loudly.
Piper looked amused, to say the least. "Oh, no. Nothing else of importance. Except…" She bit her lip and glanced around warily. She looked back at him and stared intently, as if trying to convey some kind of secret message. "Be careful, Nathaniel," she said very seriously. Bartimaeus snorted.
"Do you think I'd let anyone hurt him? Honestly. They're gonna have a hundred thirty pounds of djinni to go through before they hurt my Natty-boy." Bart sniffed and clung to Nathaniel's arm possessively. Some of the ministers looked at each other funny.
"Yes, yes, just go on. I have better things to do than chat with you four all day! Go on!" she said hurriedly, looking a bit ticked off now. Jakob wordlessly opened the door and motioned the others through. Kitty skipped on past, then Nathaniel, but Bartimaeus stayed in his spot. He frowned and took a deep breath, raising his finger in Piper's direction threateningly. Nathaniel jumped back and grabbed his arm, Jakob latching onto the other as they towed him outside.
"You gotta stop picking fights with everyone you see," Jakob advised him. Bart opened his mouth, and then realized that what he was going to say would fall under that category, so he stayed silent for once.
"Shh! Listen!" Kitty whispered, pressing her ear against the closed door. They could still hear the voices from inside. Someone asked Piper about Mandrake and his "unusual" djinni.
"Um… they're… crossbreeding?" she replied uncertainly. Kitty burst out laughing, doubling over in her effort to quiet herself.
"Did you just look in a mirror, Kitty? Because I can understand the reaction," Bartimaeus replied coolly.
"Oh, buuuuurn," Nathaniel said with a chuckle, high-fiving Bart. Jakob muttered something about 'stupid children' and dragged the still-giggling Kitty toward the exit.
Bartimaeus pumped his fist in the air, jogging after them, Nathaniel walking along calmly. "Alright! Now let's go kick some Stoned Philosopher's butt!"