A/N:

I was inspired by Stover's missing scenes in the ROTS novelization but I didn't feel bound to them. This fic takes place after Padmé's cut scene in Bail Organa's office in ROTS.

Thanks to leianaberrie for her help, inspiration and for beta-ing this of course!

3. Trust - I

Bail's words had shocked her more than what she had let on.

They replayed in Padmé's head over and over again as she left her office for her apartment. She sighed deeply, looking at the vastness of Coruscant in front of her. The sunset soothed her somehow and she put a hand on her belly absent-mindedly, waving her handmaidens away and lingering in her veranda.

She sighed.

Palpatine.

He had also been corrupted. No one seemed immune when confronted to power. Of course, she had always been wary of Palpatine's half-truths and his way of extending his mandate much longer than what was needed. But she had strived to believe him. He had been her advisor, almost a mentor during her reign as Queen. And somehow she had trusted him. Trusted him and he had done exactly what Chancellor Valorum had, so long ago. And now they had to stop him. She had to do her best to stop the Republic from falling into shambles.

It had started with those laws about certain systems. She had been too preoccupied with Anakin to pay attention or to care. As soon as the war began to rage on each side of the galaxy, the laws became firmer, harder. Jedi had total control over the persons they arrested. And she had said nothing because her husband was a Jedi and it didn't even occur to her Jedi could turn to the dark side and become worse than ordinary criminals.

Then there were the governors, instated by Palpatine himself, progressing taking over the Senators' prerogatives progressively. Then the law that was passed that demanded that every new planet leader be forced to swear an oath of fealty to the Chancellor. Then Palpatine himself controlling that those new leaders were not potential Separatists.

The censure of Holonet broadcasts. The Republic propaganda that portrayed the Separatists as monsters. Padmé had known some leaders joining the Confederacy led by Count Dooku. They were not monsters. They had simply stopped believing in the Republic.

Had she become one of them?

She could certainly see restrictions to the common liberties now. She looked around and noticed unfair treatments under the disguise of possible Separatists threats. She noticed the growing amendments to the Constitution.

And the worst thing was… no one else seemed to notice. No one seemed to care around her.

Probably because none of them was really concerned by this Separatist title. As if it was a disease.

She stopped herself in horror.

Was she becoming a Separatist? Would she betray the Republic?

Of course not, never.

But what if…? What if the Republic was no more? What if something uglier and monstrous had taken its place unbeknownst to all of them?

She took a deep breath. Bail had seen it too. She was not the only one.

And maybe… maybe, despite power and the war, Palpatine would see it too.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

She stifled a gasp and her head whipped around.

A smile formed on her lips immediately and her dark thoughts vanished.

"Ani…" she breathed, watching as he came to sit down next to her.

She knew right away that something was wrong.

His expression was troubled. But he smiled nonetheless and took her hand in his, bending closer to her to nuzzle her neck tenderly.

She breathed.

Thanks the Force he's here…

The baby kicked as if on cue. It hurt momentarily and she gasped.

Anakin jerked away from her as if she burned. Instead of a smile or his eyes twinkling, his face shone with concern.

With fear.

"What is it?" he asked immediately.

She was reminded of his nightmare and smiled soothingly.

"The baby kicked."

His eyes turned to her belly. Instead of wonder and delight as the night before, he only frowned. The look in his eyes as he watched the bump hidden by violet layers made her frown in response. She didn't like the look he gave to her belly. Alarm filled her mind.

Was Anakin resenting their baby because of his nightmare?

Abruptly, she took his flesh hand into hers and pressed it against her belly, waiting breathlessly as her eyes focused on his face.

The baby kicked again.

A reluctant smile passed on his lips, his expression softening. She sighed inwardly. Of course not. Anakin loved this baby as much as she did.

"He keeps kicking lately…" she whispered, caressing the fingers still pressed against her.

Anakin's eyes shone with mischief as he looked at her.

"He? I thought you asked your droid not to tell you anything about that."

She remembered discussing this with him, as soon as they were coherent to speak and how he had pouted when she told him she wanted to keep the sex of the baby a secret. Then they had discussed names. She was sure it was a boy. Anakin insisted it was a girl.

"I don't know… I think it's going to be a boy."

He chuckled. "And why is that, milady?"

"Motherly intuition." She shot back.

The baby kicked again, right where Anakin's hand lay. She knew the baby could feel his father and she felt happiness surge inside of her. Her smile widened as she watched his expression. He looked fascinated, all his earlier worries somewhat vanished.

"With a kick that strong, it's got to be a girl." He looked at her defiantly.

"And what makes you think that?" she teased him.

"Jedi fatherly intuition."

Padmé giggled, as his fingers traced a soothing pattern on her belly. She realized she wanted those fingers on her back now. It hurt and it would go on hurting until she lay down.

But Anakin's expression darkened and he started to talk about the Jedi. At first, she only felt joy that he had been accepted into the Council but it soon changed into worry as she eyed him. He was disappointed, troubled that he had not been made a Master.

She tried to tell him it would come, that he needed to be patient.

But he grew restless and his hand left her belly as he started to talk about politics.

Her earlier musing sprang forth and she tried to convince him. She and Anakin disagreed often when it came to politics. But his reaction was… unsettling. She refused to take offense of it when he accused her of being a Separatist, even if in his mouth, it sounded worse than an insult. She understood almost right away that this knowledge was hard to accept for him. He had been the one to go out there, fighting and risking his life all the time.

She tried a different tactic. Maybe… Palpatine would take things better if someone close to him could…

That was when Anakin exploded.

When he pointed a finger at her and stood up, putting distance between them somehow, she understood that something else was troubling him.

But he wouldn't talk, like the night before. He was closing himself off and she hated that.

"Please, tell me what's troubling you," she entreated him softly, caressing his arms soothingly. "I want to help you."

She hurt to see him in such obvious distress.

"I want to help you." He responded automatically.

She sighed and understood. His nightmare. Still troubling him.

"Hold me."

It was all she wanted now, all she knew he needed now because there was nothing he could do about those nightmares but wait to hold his child in his arms and see she was safe.

No politics, please…

She didn't want them to come between them. Not now. Not ever.

But his arms went up around her reluctantly. His embrace was shallow. He sighed against her hair and she wondered if she was not the only one picturing Naboo against the Coruscant sound of traffic.

"I love you, Ani, you know that?" Padmé whispered, burying her face deeper into his chest.

His chin didn't move on top of her head. But his arms held her tighter.

"I know." He breathed at last.

Why did he not sound convinced?

She frowned but he was soon leading her away from the veranda to take her into their bedroom. The look in his eyes as he undressed her made her heart turn over in her chest. He let her undress him, his eyes closed as she divested him of layers of clothes.

"Anakin… Tell me what's troubling-" she tried again, only to feel his mouth close over hers shakily as he pulled her towards the bed.

Padmé closed her eyes and chased the dark thoughts away from her mind.

He made love to her softly, as if afraid she would break. But she felt alone during their lovemaking. He was elsewhere, so different than the night before. He pulled away from her embrace, eyes riveted to the ceiling, unseeing. She swallowed, eyes trying to search his in the dark. She buried her face into his chest and clutched him tight.

She understood then he was angry.

"I have to sneak away to see you and my child! And we have so little time it feels like we're only lovers, not husband and wife!"

His voice was so bitter she shook against him.

"I can't even leave them…" he said angrily.

She passed a hand on his chest, trying to ease off the tension. He relaxed slightly under her touch.

"There's something wrong…" she whispered against his skin. "Why don't you tell me?"

"There's something troubling you, too." He snapped. "And you're not telling me anything either. Should I worry?"

She froze against him, remembering she couldn't talk to him about the petition.

"I'm not hiding anything from you, Anakin-"

"I know." He said suddenly. He pressed her closer to him in silent apology, her belly kneaded between them.

He caressed her hair gently as she fell into a peaceful slumber, listening to the echo of his heartbeat.

Beeping.

Insisting beeping. Padmé moaned in her sleep and turned away from the light on her right. She fell back into unconsciousness to be only pulled back by a caress on her skin.

A kiss on her shoulder.

"Padmé… I'm leaving to see the Chancellor."

Her eyes snapped open. Anakin was kneeling at her bedside, fully dressed, eyes still sad. He traced her face gently and forced a smile.

"He just commed me. It sounded urgent. I have to go see him at the Opera. Don't wait for me, I'll probably be late."

He moved to stand up but her hand held him back urgently, searching his eyes though she could not understand why.

"What is it? Padmé, I'm already late…"

There was only surprise in his eyes. No trace of bitterness or anger. Padmé was relieved to see he held no resentment against her, no matter how silly she felt. She shook her head reassuringly.

"I hope I'll have time to sneak here before going back to the Temple," he told her before getting to his feet, and readjusting the lightsaber on his hip.

"I hope the Chancellor will not wonder why your belt is adjusted this way…" she teased him slightly, pointing at his utility belt.

He blushed and reattached his belt swiftly. She smiled when she realized she could still make him blush this way.

"Let's hope he won't find my lazy smile suspicious either…" Anakin teased, mischief in his eyes.

She was relieved to see some light in his eyes again.

"I'm not sure I really want to go there…" he added thoughtfully.

She frowned. He was always glad to see the Chancellor usually… Her heart tightened.

"Do you think you're going to be sent away on a mission?" she whispered.

He shook his head reassuringly and smiled. The smile didn't reach his eyes though.

She flopped back on the bed, watching him go.

Padmé sighed deeply, glancing at her chrono and burying her face into her pillow. There was little hope he would come back now.

Her secret transmission console beeped abruptly. She rushed to answer it. Anakin's soothing image appeared on the screen and he looked a little bit more at peace somehow.

"I'm sorry, Padmé, I've got to go back to the Temple, there's an early meeting at the Council tomorrow."

She nodded sadly, her fingers reaching out to caress his image.

"Will you come to see me tomorrow?"

"As soon as I can," he responded eagerly. "But… it's possible the Jedi may send me away."

He paused. The sound of the traffic behind him seemed to get louder.

Padmé swallowed. Exactly what she had dreaded.

"Will you be gone long?"

"I hope not."

Her stomach tightened into a painful lump. He looked almost happy to be sent away. Usually he would grumble and look disheartened at the very prospect of leaving her. And now, though he had been here for barely two standard days, though she needed him like hell in the midst of political disillusions and the upcoming childbirth, he looked completely satisfied to be sent away from her.

Anakin frowned.

"What is it?"

"Nothing…" she breathed, trying to swallow back the tears in her eyes.

How long is it going to take for us to be honest with each other?

Her earlier words to him came back, punishing her somehow. But he looked so troubled already… No need to feel weak now.

Anakin's jaw was firm on the screen.

"All right, I'm coming." He said with authority.

She fought the urge to roll her eyes. If she let him do all he wanted to do, their secret would have been out for a long time. He would have probably barged into the Senate after a long mission and embraced her in front of everyone to see if she had let him.

A nasty voice whispered in her mind: And what would have been so wrong with that?

"No, Anakin, don't do that. I'm fine. Just tired. I'll see you tomorrow."

"No, I can see something's wrong." He ground out.

The screen became black before she could say anything. Hastily retrieving a robe to put on her nightgown, she made her way towards the veranda and waited anxiously.

She would brush him away because he needed to be at the Temple now and not here, listening to her pregnant babbling. She knew she was more emotional than she was before… But a selfish desire was taking hold of her abruptly. She wanted to keep him with her and not let him go…

He would be sent there… Far away, presumably. Risking his life again. Could she bear that again? After all these lonely months spent worrying, unable to sleep, eyes riveted to the Holonet in the hopes he would be just fine…

Anakin's speeder was coming. Padmé braced herself. He needed her to be strong or they would both crumble down. She searched for her political face, her serenity. When he pulled his speeder at a stop in front of her, gracefully escaping the vehicle, she thought she had succeeded. But when he waltzed towards her, instead of faking a soothing smile because she was fine, really, she found herself running into his arms.

He held her close and she breathed out shakily.

"I don't want you to go… not again." She blurted out against his chest before she could think.

"It won't be long, you'll see. If I'm sent over there, I'll capture Grievous and the war will be over."

"Grievous?" she breathed, pulling away to look at him. There was still this hint of satisfaction on his face.

He nodded, one hand reaching out to caress her face soothingly.

"I was just afraid… you wouldn't be…" she tried to pull away from him completely, swallowing the stinging tears.

He stopped her, gently pulling her into his embrace again.

His eyes were earnest as he looked at her.

"I'll be there for the birth, I promise. You don't need to fear. I'll be there."

He kissed her then and everything was all right. He sounded hopeful for once and somehow she began to feel it too. But when he didn't make any move to pull away from her, she reluctantly reminded him of his duties.

"Anakin… I thought you had an early meeting-"

He kissed her again, muffling the rest of her words. His reverent touch on her skin was enough sign he was more restful somehow. Shaking her head at his impetuousness and the risk they were taking, kissing on her veranda, she took his hand and led him inside.

They stayed in each other's arms, cuddled in her bed until he got up as usual and left her, just as dawn peeked through the horizon. His eyes were shadowed as he kissed her goodbye. Only then did she realize he had not slept the whole night.