4. Trust - II

Timeframe: ROTS
Characters: A/P, Obi-Wan, Palpatine, various Senators.
Rating: PG13 to be safe.
Summary: The vignette still follows ROTS after Trust I.

When Obi-Wan appeared into her apartment, Padmé fought the urge to brush him away. He was the last person she wanted to see now. Just looking at his Jedi robes made her feel ill-at-ease.

But she faked a smile and offered him a seat beside her on the sofa. He looked embarrassed to be there and she felt suddenly guilty. Obi-Wan was not the Jedi Order personified. He was above all Anakin's best friend and mentor. Not someone she could fear.

Besides, she liked him.

"Do you want something to drink, Master Kenobi?"

He shook his head politely. "No 'Master Kenobi', please, Senator. Just Obi-Wan."

She smiled teasingly. "Then just Padmé, no 'Senator', please."

He smiled reluctantly but soon became serious again. She could almost feel something important tugging at his mind. Could he feel her baby? The idea sounded ludicrous but she couldn't stop the fear surging inside of her.

"I've come to talk about Anakin."

Her insides froze. That was it. Had Anakin told him about them before he left for his mission? The thought left her cold and reminded her of Anakin's absence. Sorrow began to grow inside of her even as she fought it. Obi-Wan's eyes seemed to scrutinize her and she put her political mask on her face immediately.

"And why is that?"

"I'd hope you could help him."

She smiled pleasantly. "Why? You are closer to him than I am."

The Jedi sighed, blue eyes drifting in the distance.

"Padmé… I'm not blind. I can see how you look at each other. I know you're in love."

She froze and stood up abruptly, ignoring the dull pain in her spine. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Her voice was calm. Anyone would be fooled. But Obi-Wan stood up as well and his gaze pierced her. Jedi could read feelings, she knew it.

"I'm not here to judge you, Padmé. I will not reveal what I know to the Council. I only want you to help him."

She swallowed, looking away. She did not confirm his statement but did not refute it either. His words were drilling an uneasy feeling into her. If he had not come to ask her to let Anakin go or threaten to report their relationship to the Council, why was he here?

"Help? What do you mean? Is he in danger?"

His upcoming mission became a bitter taste in her mouth. The thought of losing him was paralysing.

Obi-Wan shook his head and paced inside her living room, arms crossed. "He's been troubled lately, confused."

She arched an eyebrow. Anakin was an open book to anyone who knew him. She was not surprised Obi-Wan had caught Anakin's restlessness after his nightmare and her… news.

He stopped pacing and looked at her in the eye.

"Please, do what you can. I know…" he trailed off and this time, he was the one unable to look at her. "I know you always calm him."

She let go of her reservations at once, turning away from him.

"How can I help him since he's going to be sent away?"

Behind her, Obi-Wan sighed. "I'm the one sent to the mission he presumably talked to you about." His voice was dry.

But at his words, Padmé's heart had leaped. In spite of everything, she was relieved Anakin wouldn't leave Coruscant any time soon.

Then she froze as she realized that by her words, she had implied Anakin had seen her last night. Clearly, despite Obi-Wan's purported acceptance of their relationship, he didn't sound too satisfied with it.

She whirled around to face the Jedi. Obi-Wan only stared at her silently. She prayed he wouldn't feel the baby. It would be too complicated… Not now. Above all not now Anakin was so on edge.

"You are not really good at hiding your feelings when it comes to Anakin." He stated brusquely. "But it doesn't matter now…" he murmured as if to himself. "Help him, please, Padmé."

With that, he bowed and left her to her own thoughts.

The meeting with the Chancellor was scheduled for the early evening. She asked C3PO to prepare everything for her own meeting with the Senators. There was still hope. She would convince Palpatine. He had been an open-minded man in the past and she could convince anyone. With this petition, he would be forced to renounce to the overwhelming powers the Senate had just voted.

Taking off her thin black shawl and folding it in her hands, she went through the living room, glad all her meetings were scheduled for the day. Anakin barely moved from his spot on the couch when she entered the room, his eyes seemingly fixed on the datapad he was holding. She smiled when she saw him but he looked tense. It was confirmed when he spoke, asking about Obi-Wan darkly.

She was surprised he had guessed about his former Master coming to her apartment but reassured him quickly, passing a hand on his shoulders soothingly, feeling the muscles clench beneath the leather. He was so tense…

"He came by this morning."

He stood up quickly as she entered her bedroom.

"What did he want?"

Anakin looked completely confused and it only grew when he started to talk about the Council moodily. She frowned. It didn't sound like his usual discontentment with the Jedi Order. It sounded deeper than that. Her worry that there was something he was not telling her came back again.

She had been so happy to see him standing in her apartment earlier she didn't even notice the frustrated look on his face. She had only embraced him strongly, asking him why he had not been sent away to search for Grievous. Obi-Wan, he had answered shortly. She had fought the urge to tell him she was glad the Jedi had been sent there, knowing he would not really understand. She thought he would calm down while she went through her calls to the Senators coming this afternoon. He only further became more tense.

"I'm not the Jedi I should be."

She frowned, Obi-Wan's worried tone coming back in full force.

She came to him then and caressed his arms soothingly, reassuring him with her words and her touch.

And then, his voice sounded different. Frustration eluded him. There was only fear and despair.

"I think I've found a way to save you."

Save her?

But she was in no danger, she was standing right in front of him. He looked completely vulnerable as he mentioned his nightmares again.

Was it still haunting him? How could she have been so blind?

"I won't die in childbirth, Ani. I promise you."

He shook his head, his hand tracing her face hypnotically.

"No, I promise you!" he ground out.

She frowned, about to ask him something else but he only pressed her closer shakily. He buried his face against her neck and trembled.

"You're everything to me, Padmé…" he whispered. "I'm nothing without you."

She inched closer, tangling her hands into his hair.

"You won't lose me, Ani. Not ever."

He pulled away slightly, blue shadowed eyes silently asking for confirmation. She smiled, tracing his face gently.

"If only I could believe you…" he whispered.

She frowned. "Don't you trust me?"

"With my life." He responded immediately. "But this is not something you can promise, Padmé… You… In my dreams… you couldn't…"

He trailed off shakily, closing his eyes as if he could see her in his nightmare and pulled her close again. She embraced him strongly, knowing it was the only thing she could do now.

They stayed inseparable through a good part of the afternoon as she sighed against his skin and forgot the whole world outside. But soon enough, she realized how much time she had passed in his arms and they had to come back to reality. Anakin was silent, his hands tracing soothing patterns on her skin, sighing as she caressed his hair tenderly. But 3PO was suddenly tapping at her door, claiming Bail Organa had arrived. Anakin was soon dressing up in a blur, mumbling he had to go back to the Temple before someone wondered what he was doing. She escaped the sanctuary of their bed, pulled on a robe silently. When he moved to embrace her, she held onto him unconsciously, unable to let him go somehow. 3PO's knocking was more urgent against the door.

Deep fear settled inside her and she clutched him tighter.

"Padmé… I have to go. And you do too."

He looked as reluctant as she did and she brushed curls away from his forehead tenderly. He looked so exhausted. She fought the urge to keep him with her, even as she didn't understand her sudden fright. His hand lingered in hers as he stepped away from her, eyes not leaving her until he disappeared into the corridor leading to the veranda.

She almost felt like she would never see him again.

It was ridiculous and she knew it but she couldn't shake off the feeling from her mind.

Padmé had tried all afternoon to bring up Anakin in the discussion. But no matter how much she tried, her fellow Senators simply did not want to include the Jedi for now. Somehow during the Wars, the people had come to distrust Jedi, with all these talks about Jedi turning to the dark side and Count Dooku once being one of them. She had to fight the urge to tell her colleagues she didn't care about Jedi, she cared about one in particular. All the Jedi could be corrupted for all she cared, she knew she could count on Anakin. Only the fear that their secret could be discovered made her stop from mentioning Anakin's name. She knew he was one of the few heroes of this war.

And yet there was his friendship with Palpatine. She had a feeling the Senators around her wouldn't want her to talk to this petition with him.

The meeting was over minutes later. They all parted to reach the Senate on their own. She changed from her comfortable clothes. Frowning, she went through the different gowns with her faithful handmaidens and dismissed nearly all of them. Her fingers lingered on a beautiful regal gown and she knew it was the one she needed. Getting inside it was difficult and the baby kicked as her belly was suddenly pressed within. She put a soothing hand on her abdomen, sending silent waves of comfort to her child. The hairdo had to be regal too. When it was finished, she looked at herself in front of the mirror and nodded her approval to her handmaidens.

She looked determined. Almost rigid. Exactly what she needed in front of Palpatine.

She joined the other Senators some time later as they went through their claims. Bail had excused himself, busy with Alderaan matters. The tactic was clever. If their claims were rejected, Palpatine wouldn't associate Bail and Mon Mothma's names with this act of disobedience. They could go on with their… organization without raising any suspicion.

As she went through the corridors, Padmé Amidala shivered though she felt hot underneath her cumbersome gown. It had to succeed. She could not let herself believe the Republic was dead. Not now. Not ever.

She felt Anakin before even entering Palpatine's office. Padmé frowned, amazed at this sort of connection between them. As she walked into the room, flanked with the other Senators, he didn't look surprised to see her either.

I can always feel you, he had told her once.

He looked troubled, she noticed. She didn't like him being here. But now he would know about the petition. Fortunately she had not mentioned him during her talk with the Senators. They wouldn't have appreciated him standing near Palpatine like that.

Oh, Ani, I'm sorry… she thought very hard.

Palpatine's smile gave her shivers, even if she did not know why.

She placated a mask on her face and sat down in front of him. The discussion began heatedly and she tried to forget about Anakin's gaze on her the whole meeting.

He was distracting her. She could almost feel the disappointment flowing from him. Sadness and anger intrinsically mixed. She hated that he stood so rigidly beside Palpatine, as if he supported him.

Palpatine rejected every single one of their claims without even listening to her. She had the nagging suspicion to be transported more than three years ago as he decreed that she had to go to Naboo to hide there. She had had no say in that. She had hated this sensation.

She didn't like it more now.

Anger invaded her as Palpatine continued to treat them like pieces of junk. He didn't care about their claims. He didn't seem to care for anything but his power.

There was an enormous wall before her. She was knocking on it forcefully but it could not crumble.

Padmé felt so useless suddenly.

When she decided to take the conversation back to the petition and the end of the war, Palpatine's face changed. For a split second, there was no warmth in his eyes. They were cold and calculating. As though they had no right to stand up to him.

Padmé felt the hair on her neck stand and before she knew it, she was up, her eyes blazing.

"On behalf of the delegation of the 2,000, I thank you, Chancellor."

All her trust in the man had vanished.

She was disgusted.

"I thank you… for bringing this to my attention, Senator."

Palpatine looked triumphant. His smile almost made her squirm in discomfort. There was no smile on her face. There could not be for someone who had betrayed her so completely.

To think she had been one of the few amongst the 2,000, defending him.

She couldn't resist. She sent a helpless look to Anakin.

She needed his comfort now.

He looked down.

Her husband couldn't look at her in the eye. No doubt he shared Palpatine's views.

She sighed and shot him a disappointed look. As she waltzed away from Palpatine and his cold platitudes, she swore she could feel Anakin's eyes on her until she left the room. At the edge of her consciousness, she could feel the torment within him.