Give my love to Jo, babes," Helen called out cheerily as she was ready to head out the door after a quick hug and kiss on her cheek. "Gotta go."
"That's what you always used to say when we were both at Larkhall," said Nikki jokingly.
"Aah, but you didn't have me to sleep with you at nighttimes and keep you satisfied, sexually, emotionally and any other way I can think of. I didn't talk this way either, did I?" retorted Helen, a big grin on her face, her eyes glowing, and her hair floating in the wind.
"Ah, but you felt it, darling. I could feel the vibes coming off you even before you knew what they were," came Nikki's gently teasing tones.
"Well, obviously so," came the answer with total aplomb as she moved forward to Nikki and gave her an extra special final kiss. That was her answer. With that, Helen moved towards the door and a back draught of wind and the closing door marked her exit.
Nikki chose the spare time to catch up with her reading in the snatched moments of solitude. She wouldn't have it any other way as she had once spent far too much time in her lonely cell with far too much time to think. At that time, her books were friends that she could rely on. After a while, she smiled with satisfaction as she gently laid the paperback book of poems down and closely examined the opened letter on the mantelpiece, which contained her shiny new purple passport. It had recently slipped through the letterbox, accompanied by the usual government advice leaflets but without the fanfare of trumpets, which could have been her due. As far as she could recall from previous years, nothing was in any way different from the last time she had been granted a passport and from the looks of it, she appeared to be just another customer. The small portraiture inside the passport managed to capture her cool confrontation of the outside world. This time around, she knew that Jo Mills' covering letter would have speedily directed her application through the system and the ordinary minor functionary, someone doing the same level job as she did, would process the application. As far as that functionary was concerned, her record was clean white, immaculate. She opened the first page and the declaration of her right to cross boundaries and territories caught her eye. Even in the age of mass production, the calligraphy still managed to stand out to her eye in its stylishness.Her Britannic Majesty's Secretary of State requests and requires …. to allow the bearer to pass freely without let or hindrance and to afford the bearer such assistance and protection as may be necessary……..
These rolling phrases from a bygone era still managed to convey some sense of poetry as opposed to the modern drabness of bureaucratic language. Despite being a modern woman, this pointed to just why Nikki had read so readily the dusty, forgotten Victorian novels in the Larkhall Prison library. The phrase 'passing freely without let or hindrance' reverberated powerfully through her imagination. Wasn't her life at Larkhall a sustained struggle against arbitrary and unfair hindrance? Even when she had won her freedom, she had still been bound by invisible restraints that limited her to the second rate job she had endured stoically. That would now change, she vowed as a letter for a job interview with the Howard League for Penal Reform had landed on the doormat.It was not in Nikki's nature to casually accept help kindly made help without acknowledgement. This occasion gave her a reason to look up that kind-hearted wielder of justice, Jo Mills and thank her personally. A mere letter wouldn't do, as it wouldn't convey the depth of gratitude that she felt towards her now that her life was opening up. Nikki strolled slowly down the street, heading in the direction of the nearest bus stop. She raised her coat collar high on this overcast and drizzling spring day. Despite the yards of headlines expended at the time of her trials, she had sunk back to being an average middle thirties woman making her way round London. She made her way to the top flight of the bus and was content to look downwards at the streets and at people passing by through the smeared, steamed up windows. It crossed the back of her mind that her preference for the elevated perspective contrasted appealingly to looking upwards at the rectangle of sky outside her prison cell. The thought blew past her like an idle breath of wind that left her in peace. At the appointed place, she clattered down the metal staircase and off onto the hard pavements of upmarket, professional London. The neat, unobtrusive office down a side street guided Nikki's feet to the friendly receptionist who recognized who she was. "Just give her a couple of minutes and she'll be ready for you," she announced, replacing the phone and gesturing to the thoughtfully comfortable chair into which Nikki gratefully sank. In a few minutes, she was courteously ushered into Jo's office and Nikki smiled affectionately at it. A large old fashioned polished oak desk was flanked by a book case, overloaded with law books and just about accommodated the files and an armchair for the client. As Nikki took her place, Jo moved the file she was working on and greeted her with a friendly smile. The look was all very unpretentious and functional and Nikki felt quite at home in it immediately. She recalled that when she had discussed her forthcoming trial in depth, it was at Claire's office. "I'm sorry, Jo, if you are very busy……" "It's no problem, Nikki," she interrupted her in her friendly way." I've been working too hard on my latest case and I need a break. I can't think of a better way than socialising with you unless there's a business reason as well." "This is just a personal call. I just wanted to pass by and thank you for everything, for sorting out my passport and cleaning up my record. You've done so much for me." 'It goes with the territory," Jo said automatically in an unassuming tone of voice before consciously rejigging her words to fit her feelings moiré closely. "At least with my territory. I think you know what I mean." "It's as much a load off Helen's mind as mine. Everything that happens to one of us happens to the other and before we met you, we were getting stressed out." "You and Helen must be very close." "We are," answered Nikki, a faraway look in her eyes." We've been through so much together. It's a million miles away from being attracted to a woman on a dance floor and inviting her to my place for a cup of coffee."Nikki's wholehearted words moved Jo immensely without triggering jealousy in the slightest way. The way that Nikki described same sex courtship had a curious sense of foreignness, as if she were studying a culture just that bit removed from her own. Nikki was clearly lucky in her experience of love. By contrast, the only love of Jo's life wasn't her late husband, but John Deed, but too many barriers stood in the way of being reunited back to where they were, many years ago. Those boundaries helped her feel curiously safe. It was clear that, by contrast, Nikki craved physical and emotional closeness. Nevertheless, they felt like sisters under the skin.
"Where are you and Helen thinking of going on holiday?" "Do you know, I really don't know," answered Nikki with a slightly comic puzzled expression on her face." I've always wanted to go to San Francisco but Helen fancies Paris in the spring. She is of course a total romantic," she added with deep affection. "Well, I hope the US Government don't get called upon to act as long stop in blocking your visa application, the British government having failed as wicket keeper," joked Jo but Nikki did not smile at that remark."We've got time to work that out and in the meantime, I've got an interview with the Howard League for Penal Reform this afternoon. Of course, it's only an interview but hopefully a way out of my present job."
"That's excellent news, Nikki." Jo beamed at her in genuine pleasure at her in a way that warmed Nikki's responsiveness to honesty." I'm absolutely sure you'll be uniquely qualified for the job.""I've got to get through that door. Just one more barrier to break through," came Nikki's slightly bleak observation.
"And you'll make it. Haven't you been doing that all your life, Nikki? I can tell a fellow warrior a mile away."
"You mean sometimes you get scared too, Jo? I can't believe it." Nikki said, comically misunderstanding Jo's meaning and revealing her nervousness. Jo laughed freely and kindly at Nikki's misunderstanding as it revealed a very human slightly fallible side of her.
"You got me wrong. I mean a fighter like you and Helen and John."
"How's John doing these days?" came her animated reply after enlightenment dawned." I keep reading the papers, expecting to see him on the front pages."
"Hardly that, Nikki. He has been known to do interviews with the Times when he has been fighting a particular battle with the establishment and has to go public. There are rumblings afoot that the government is intending to severely restrict the powers of judges. There have been press leaks of this, which of course are always officially denied. You know the score of what that means. John is quite obviously Public Enemy Number One but what has puzzled the government is what to make of Monty and Joseph, the other two judges. These are dangerous times."
Nikki opened her mouth wide. She clearly remembered the almighty row that she and John had fought with that female barrister and those two civil servants. The row was quite as spectacular as anything she'd seen at Larkhall, only in educated language.
"Well, I wish I could do more than cheer from the sidelines. Of course, if he ever wants some backup in an argument, I don't mind helping him out."
"I'm quite sure he would appreciate that. He has often spoken of you with fond respect and he sees you as a particularly kind hearted woman."
"I'm flattered," answered Nikki politely.
"You are in a unique position where John is concerned. Normally, he is incapable of being attracted to a woman without wanting to sleep with her. His gift of charm for the opposite sex is a mixed blessing for him and for those around him with the scrapes he gets into. In your case, he knows that there is not the slightest possibility of that happening for obvious reasons. The result is that he can safely admire and respect you. He has his problems in sustaining long-term relationships with women but I tell you that he has no problems with platonic friendships. Right now, he is under pressure and he needs all the help he can get."
"You're in love with him, Jo."
"More fool me," Jo answered Nikki's soft words, shakily." He was my pupil master at law school and I owe him his high-minded ideals and everything I've come to believe in. He is also a womanizer and that put paid to our relationship years ago. I could never be safe being too close to him whereas you will never have that problem."
"John is for real and he has the courage of his convictions and for that reason, I admire the guy. The problem is that his circle of work is in the legal system and mine isn't. We only entered the same world when I needed justice and we're bound to go our separate ways. I did once tell him that if he ever wanted to call in on Helen and I, he'd be welcome."
"John won't forget that so don't you be so sure of what the future holds," answered Jo with all the certainty of the world. Her blue eyes were almost luminous as she was more of a soothsayer than anything else, or so Nikki intuitively felt.
"As a highly practical and successful barrister, I still believe that those whose lives are bound up with each other will end bound up, even in this world which scatters people to the four corners of the world. Relationships can come and go but friendships will endure. You will, of course, include me amongst your friends, Nikki?"
Nikki nodded eagerly, her emotions of joy rising to the surface. She felt incredibly centred and realized that she needed reminding from time to time of fundamental wisdoms of the world. It was as if she had been transported out of time, out of her everyday cares. All she was doing was taking the morning off work to repay a kindness and then going on to her interview. Instead, she had received a curious sense of spiritual enlightenment.