Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or the book they are derived from. What I do own though is a shiny yellow Ford Focus named Alice.
AN: I know… it took forever for this chapter, but I wanted to make it perfect. Hope the length is okay too. A big thanks to my most loyal readers, who have followed with me from The Family Talk, you are all amazing. This chapter is dedicated to Dee, who is the most fabulous Rosalie, even though she is a leech.
Rosalie's POV
"I think this wedding should be gold themed. You know, ivory dresses for us, gold ties for the boys, gold writing on the invitations, and a fountain that pours out that alcohol with the little gold flakes in it…" I said, watching as Alice poked at Emmett with her finger, attempting to get him to stand up straight. "It would really bring out our eyes, especially if we feed the day before."
"Rosalie? How long have you been thinking about that idea?" Jasper asked from the living room couch. He had already been fitted for his tux, and surprise, his measurements were exactly the same as they had been last time. In all honesty, I had no idea why Alice insisted on doing this every time one of us got married, but her excuse was always the same… "for the full effect."
"Since my last honeymoon," I admitted, looking down at my perfectly manicured fingernails.
"I knew your mind was on something else…" Emmett grumbled. I watched Alice jab him again, which was totally unnecessary, since he had just taken a jab in his pride.
"I paid attention to you during the important parts," I blurted out, looking up at him, with a very seductive smile, that I knew would rattle his mind for a little while, or at least long enough for Alice to finish up her measurements. She was like my sister, but still, I didn't like the idea of her being that close to Emmett's… manhood for longer than she had to be.
"So, have you guys decided when you're telling Charlie?" Jasper asked, taking the attention away from Emmett and I, and placing it on the shoulders of Bella and Edward. Sure enough, Bella blushed a good fifteen shades of red, before looking down at the engagement ring on her left finger. Edward watched her for a moment, probably expecting her to say something, but when she remained quiet, his mouth turned down and he looked over at Alice, a hopeful expression on his face.
"Don't even think about asking me Edward, you don't even know what you're going to say yet, which means I can't see anything. If you think you're going to have me tell you what to say, you're only joking yourself, because if I have to do it, you'll be running out of the Swan's house with Charlie chasing behind you with his police car," Alice said, never looking away from Emmett's ankle.
"We could tell Esme and Carlisle at the same time," Bella piped in. I noticed she was still watching her ring. Like the rock was going to disappear or something. God. If Emmett thought he was going to get away with me wearing the same old ring for another three years, while these two girls had shiny, new, skating rinks on their fingers, he had to be insane.
"Carlisle and Esme already know Bella….duh…" Emmett said. I noticed that he sounded quite proud of himself to think that he had outsmarted someone; too bad that information was about as obvious as hearing that zebras had stripes.
"I know that Emmett," Bella said, her tone sounding a bit put off that Emmett actually thought she was that stupid. Actually…. No. I would save that comment for another day, the wedding night maybe. "What I mean is that, we could pretend to Charlie and them together. For one, so he doesn't think he's the last to find out, and for two, so that he can see how calm they are, and he won't yell. He respects Carlisle and Esme, and he wouldn't want to make a fool out of himself in front of them."
All eyes went to Alice, and I have to admit, even I was a bit interested to see how that would work out. Alice sat very still for a moment, and if it weren't for the seriousness of the moment, I probably would have laughed, because the way she paused, to see her vision, had her face pointed directly at the crotch of Emmett's pants. Making it appear as if she were in awe by the sight of it. Then her eyes refocused again, and the smile on her face calmed us all.
"I suppose we should go tell Esme where Carlisle is then," Jasper said, his eyes dancing from Edward's face to Emmett's. That's when I noticed he wasn't with the boys. He had to have bailed them out, or they wouldn't be here.
"Where is Carlisle?" I asked Emmett, glaring into his face to let him know I meant business.
"Jail."
"What?!" Bella, Alice, and I all yelled. Each of our eyes rested on our significant other.
"He was getting cocky so we had him locked up!" Emmett said, his face already telling me that he was lying, as if the story didn't sound fictional enough.
"What really happened?" Bella asked her eyes as big as saucers. From what I could tell she was probably trying to figure out how on Earth her father let the boys go, locked Carlisle up, and what story they must of told him to get that kind of reaction out of him.
"When your dad heard that Carlisle pushed me out of a window last night, he put him behind bars." Emmett said, very matter of factly.
"Oh, golly, this can't be good," Bella said, putting her face in her hands. Edward rushed to her side, like the obedient, little puppy dog he was turning in to, and started rubbing her shoulders. Pathetic. I never had Emmett that whipped.
"Yes you do," Edward said suddenly. When I looked up, I noticed he was staring right at me.
"I'll go tell Esme!" Emmett said climbing down from the stool Alice had him perched on. The sound of ripping fabric echoed in the room, and Alice's face fell. About the same moment, Emmett started turning in circles, looking over his own shoulder, trying to see which part of the tux he had ruined. After a few turns, Alice grabbed his leg, and tried to put him back next to the stool.
"No! Alice, you can leave it like that," Emmett said, grabbing the giant hole that had once been the seam right over his butt, "I like a healthy breeze around my privates, thanks."
"Not again…" Edward groaned.
"What?" Emmett yelled loudly.
"I can't go through this again Emmett; I can't go another three months of you using quotes from that book!" Edward said shaking his head. You see, every once in awhile, Emmett goes on these kicks where all he does is use quotes from the Harry Potter series. Usually it only lasts about a week or so, but after the last one came out, it was non stop for three months. I never again want to see Emmett wrapped up around a pillow, hugging it because some owl died or some elf gets stabbed. To be honest, I didn't see the point in those books. I watched the movies when Emmett bought them, because I really had a thing for that Snape guy, but other than that… blah.
"But they're good! Like Dumbledore said, 'Death is but the next great adventure'… and look at us. We're sort of dead, and we have all kinds of adventures."
"We only let you keep those books because Esme says we should be nice, until they came out, we weren't even sure you could read," Edward said smirking.
"You never know, Edward. They could be real. There are vampires and werewolves in those stories, and we know that those are real. Maybe somewhere out there, there are wizards." Emmett said, looking hopeful.
"Emmett, with that kind of logic, I don't know how you ever got your doctorate in Psychology."
"You're just mad because your girlfriend is a muggle!" Emmett said, before he started laughing at a joke nobody understood. Trust me, it wasn't one of those, you had to be there kind of things… it was more like, you have to be that kind of crazy to get it kind of things.
"I'm a what?" Bella asked.
"Forget it Bella…" I said, shaking my head.
"I'm going to go talk to Esme… so you just sit here and think about it…" Emmett said before walking off towards Carlisle and Esme's bedroom upstairs. We all sat there for a moment, in silence.
"Rosalie… your husband is a-"
"Yeah- shut it, Alice. I know," I said, running my fingers through my hair. What on Earth was I going to do with the guy? He was absolutely crazy. I saw Bella still trying to figure out what exactly Emmett had called her, and Edward was trying to explain he had just called her a human. Then we heard footsteps coming down the stairs.
"I can't believe you boys! Totally Insane! What were you thinking –Oh! Yes! You probably weren't thinking, you've been getting very good at that lately!" Esme rambled, grabbing her car keys, and heading out the door.
"Oh! Shoot, I forgot to tell her to bring Charlie back here too! I'll be back!" Alice yelled, springing up and running out the door that Esme had left wide open.
"Well, Edward, Bella, you better figure out what you're going to say. I'm going to find my husband." I said leaving the couple still sitting, and walking up the stairs. When I walked into the bedroom I shared with Emmett, I wanted to turn around and pretend I had never been in there. He was digging through our closet, but it was what he was wearing that caught me off guard. In the few short seconds of alone time he had, he managed to find the Harry Potter Halloween costume he had worn the last three years. Glasses, wand, and the whole shebang. Utterly ridiculous. Without saying a word, I just walked towards our bed, and sat down. My eyes glanced over to the chalkboard that was sitting in the middle of the room –still filled with diagrams from Emmett's show and tell.
"You know Rosie, If we got you a Gryffindor robe, and a red wig… we could turn this into a very adventurous night of wizard sex." Emmett said, poking his head out of the closet and pointing at me with his "Official Harry Potter Wand" replica.
"Oh please, Emmett," I said rolling my eyes at the little pervert. He disappeared in the closet again, then I heard an "Ah ha!" from the inside. Emmett came out with a broom in hand. He had made the damn thing in woodshop class our junior year. It was almost exactly the same as the ones used in the movie, but Emmett had etched his name into the side of it. I'll never forget the day he stood on the top of our roof, claiming that he was going to fly. Yeah… we watched him fly straight into the dirt.
"Rosie… you never want to play anymore…" Emmett said dropping the broom, and taking the glasses off of his face. He sat right next to me, nuzzling my neck just enough to make me giggle. I had just heard his play growl, when he flipped me onto my back and crawled on top of me.
"Rosalie? Emmett?"
Damn it. Leave it to Bella. If she wasn't getting some –none of us were.
"We're kind of busy…" Emmett said, looking over at the door.
"I was wondering if you could help us, you know when Charlie and Carlisle get back." She obviously didn't tae the hint.
"Well, get in here then," I groaned, rolling Emmett off of me. Slowly, I watched the door open, and saw Bella standing timidly outside. She took one look around the room, eyes glancing at the chalkboard –she blushed again, then her eyes stopped on Emmett, still in his Harry costume.
"What do you need, Bells?" Emmett asked sitting up and hanging his legs off the end of our silver framed bed.
Gradually, she walked inside, her face looking more afraid with each step she took. Silly humans, always frightened of things that are so simple.
"Well, I was hoping… that maybe when Charlie, Esme, and Carlisle got back, and we tell them about… the… the wedding, that maybe, you, Rose, could pretend you're unhappy about it."
"I am unhappy about it, there's no need for pretending there," I said, sharply.
"Well, what I meant was, when Edward and I tell Charlie, I was wondering if you would make a scene about it all. That way, Charlie will get defensive, and, hopefully, not freak out too much."
"So you want me to make a fool of myself, in my own home, in front of my family?"
"No- that's not what I-"
"You want me to be a pawn in your little game? I'm sorry Bella, but I, Rosalie Lillian Hale am not going to do it, I'm sorry- not possible."
"No- I didn't think you would-"
"Leave my room."
"What? Rosalie! Please-"
"Bella. I am not very happy with you at the moment. Leave my room."
I watched Bella turn around and leave the bedroom, tears forming in her eyes. Too bad though. It was completely absurd of her to even think for a moment I would act so outrageously. I mean sure… there are times when I have been known to let my temper get away from me, but that was a long time ago, and they deserved it.
"You know that isn't what she meant Rosie."
"I don't care, and if you want, you can leave too." I crossed my arms, and turned to face the window. The footsteps walking away from me told me Emmett did leave the room. I heard a car pulling into the driveway, and stood, walking over to the window. It was Carlisle, Esme, and Charlie. How perfect.
I walked out of my room and made it down the steps just as they were all sitting down. Charlie's expression was more curious than anything, and I had half of a mind to just come out and tell him why he was here. That would serve Bella right, but Edward would probably try to kill me.
"Charlie," Edward started, "We asked you here today because we wanted to tell you, Carlisle, and Esme something."
"And, ah, what is that Edward?" His eyes roamed around the room, stopping on each one of us.
"We, and by we, I mean Bella and I, have decided to get married."
Awkward silence…
"You're what?"
"Married. Getting married, Dad."
"Like… husband and wife married?" Surprisingly, Charlie was being incredibly calm about all of this.
"Is there another kind of married?" Alice asked, with a grin.
"Are you kidding me?! Bella you are far too young! Do you want to end up like your mother and I?" Charlie yelled. I couldn't believe how he was acting. I was almost positive I saw his finger skimming across the handle of his gun.
"Charlie's right!" I started, "I can't believe Edward would even think about marrying Bella!"
"Excuse me?" Charlie asked, as if the wind had been knocked out of him.
"Well, no offense officer, but I think Edward can do a bit better."
"Well, no offense, Miss Hale, but I think Edward is lucky to have my Bella."
"If that's what you think… It will be over my dead body before they get married."
"Oh, they will be getting married! If it's the last thing I do." Check….
"Oooooooh!" Alice squealed. And mate…then, Charlie had known he'd been beaten. He slowly sank back down onto the couch between Carlisle and Esme. Esme began petting his thinning hair comfortingly.
"I- I- I- just can't see how you two can be so calm about this…" Charlie muttered into his hands.
"Think about it this way Charlie, they love each other, and we love Bella, and you love… well, you love Alice. So… it will be like gaining another daughter." Esme said, smiling.
"I haven't thought of it that way…" Charlie said lifting his head and looking at Alice. The next thing I knew, he was picking Alice up into a big hug. "I can't wait!"
"Charlie… just keep in mind that I'm not the one marrying Bella, I really don't swing that way." Alice peeped in.
"So- Dad you're okay with this?" Bella asked, peeking out from behind Edward.
"Well, as long as you both go through the pre marital couple's therapy camp, sure," Charlie said nonchalantly. I couldn't help but scoff at the whole situation. I could already see Edward at some little dorky camp with a bunch of humans, learning the proper way to be a husband.
"What? Oh, Carlisle, I don't think I need marriage counseling, really," Edward said, looking at Carlisle –almost praying he would bale him out.
"Actually," Carlisle said, "I think that is a fantastic idea."
"You have got to be kidding me."
"Dad, I think this is highly unnecessary," Bella said, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Aw… Edward, I think it's a great idea," I said, giving him a sickeningly sweet smile, "I bet you'll have so much fun, make sure you write us letters to tell us all about it."
"Well, I'm sure you'll know all about their fun Rosalie, because you'll be there too," Carlisle said, grinning.
"WHAT?!" Oh no- no- no- no- no. No. No way. Carlisle was either crazy or… no. He was just crazy. "Carlisle you're out of your mind, there is no way that I need marriage counseling."
"I think it's a great idea." Edward said smiling. "Since we all planned on getting married together, we might as well do this too."
"Exactly. Alice and Jasper can go too."
"Do we have to?" Jasper sighed.
"Yes." Esme said, putting her arm on Carlisle shoulder.
"So- wait. You're all getting married?" Charlie asked, obviously confused by the turn of events. "I thought Rosalie and Emmett were already married."
"They are, but they want to do this with Alice, Jasper, Bella, and Edward," Esme grinned.
"Oh…"
I could definitely tell that Charlie wasn't exactly with the rest of us. He just… didn't get it, but then again, who could blame him? He definitely wasn't really in the know how with everything. I looked over at Alice. The poor girl had her head in her hands just shaking it back and forth. If I listened carefully, I heard her softly saying "No, no, no… how could I have not seen this coming?"
"Carlisle, Esme, I think I'm going to head home, give a few people a call… maybe take a nap."
"We'll walk you out." Carlisle said, leading Charlie out, and being followed by Esme.
I looked over at Emmett, who had been quiet the entire time.
"Well, Emmett… you just had to get him arrested didn't you?" I said, slapping his arm.
"I'm actually really excited. I mean, when else am I going to get to talk to someone about you, who doesn't see you and immediately agree with everything you say?"