Domestics and Divisions

Yeah… just remember that killing the author won't get you anywhere…

Disclaimer: Nothing you might recognise belongs to me.

Part Six: The Worst Answer

Rose sighed, closing her eyes tightly. She gave up; she didn't care anymore. She needed to tell him and then pray he wouldn't hate her. She was fed up of keeping it a secret all the time. She took a deep breath. "I want…" she began before swallowing and starting again, "Doctor, I want to get married and have a baby with you…" She bit her lip, her whole body tense as she awaited his verdict.

Rose felt the Doctor's body tense up before he stepped away from her, looking down at her with wide and troubled eyes. Rose was holding her breath unconsciously, waiting for the words that would either stamp on her heart or raise it up joyfully.

"Rose…" the Doctor stuttered, "…We can't."

So, it was the first choice then. Rose actually felt her heart crumble into tiny pieces. "Why?" she managed to squeak, her eyes rapidly filling up with tears,

"It would be too dangerous," he replied, "Our life is far too dangerous to have a little one running around with us,"

"You said you'd be over the moon…" Rose choked,

"What?"

"Ages ago, when I thought I was pregnant, I asked you if you'd mind having a baby with me one day and you said you'd be over the moon if we did," she whispered. It was the one piece of evidence that she'd secretly clung onto over the past few weeks.

The Doctor sighed. "Things change, Rose."

She nodded shakily. "And getting married?" she prompted.

He just looked at her before slowly shaking his head.

Rose let out a sob, before turning around and running off into the trees, ignoring the Doctor's shouts for her to come back. She shot through the wood, tears blurring her vision and not really knowing where she was going. Consequently, she was surprised to find herself back at the TARDIS within a few moments. She slammed through the door and only stopped when she heard Jack call out her name.

"I'm sorry about earlier," he began before seeing her face and seizing her wrists, "Rose, what is it?"

"He said no," she gasped out,

"What?" Jack asked slowly,

"He said no! The Doctor doesn't want to marry me or have a baby with me! He hates me!" Rose screamed. She ducked away as Jack moved to pull her into a hug and ran down the corridor deeper into the time ship.

Jack's heart broke as the sound of her misery echoed around the silent TARDIS.

Rose curled up into a tighter ball under the duvet in her bedroom. Her face was wet, her eyes were red and swollen and her nose was sore from the non-stop crying she'd been doing over the last hour since she'd arrived back in here. Jack had come by to see her, shortly after she'd run out on him, but she hadn't been able to talk and after attempting and failing to calm her down, he'd gone, sensing that she needed some privacy, but with promises that he'd come back later. She hadn't seen the Doctor and didn't want to. She didn't even know if he was back but didn't care. For the first time since she'd met him, Rose didn't give a damn about him and that scared her. But he'd torn out her heart and stamped on it.

She gave a little whimper, brushing away her fresh tears as she thought about what had happened. She couldn't believe it- she didn't want to. He'd hurt her so much with his words and she wasn't sure she'd ever recover. She'd given her heart and soul to him and now they were damaged. She'd never felt this bad in all her life.

Suddenly she stiffened as the door abruptly opened and a voice called out her name. It was the Doctor.

"Go away!" she cried,

"Rose…" he said patiently,

"I said, go away!" she shouted, "I don't want to see you or talk to you so just get lost!"

"Angel…"

"Don't you dare call me that!" she screamed, sitting up suddenly and glaring at him; her face red and glistening from her tears, "Don't you dare call me that after you've ripped out my heart without caring!"

"Of course I care!" he shouted back, "Will you just listen to me!"

"No, I bloody well won't!" she yelled, "Just bugger off, Doctor!"

"Fine," he gave in, "But when you're feeling a little more mature, find me, 'cause we need to talk about this."

Rose buried herself back under the duvet as he left, slamming the door behind him. She began sobbing in earnest again as his words stung her deeply. She felt horribly alone. She'd always had the Doctor by her side but now she'd lost him. But it was all his fault for refusing to marry her and have a child with her…

Jack winced as the Doctor stormed back in the control room, with a face like thunder. It hadn't gone well then. The Time Lord had arrived back about ten minutes ago, looking saddened and worried. He'd immediately asked if Rose was here and then gone charging down the corridor to their room, intending to talk with her.

"She alright?" Jack asked cautiously from where he was lounging on the captain's chair,

"No," the Doctor ground out, "She's hysterical."

Jack bit his lip. It didn't sound like she'd calmed down any since he'd been to see her. "Did you manage to talk to her?"

"She wouldn't let me," the Doctor shouted angrily, "Kept telling me to go away. She's being completely unreasonable!"

Jack threw his magazine down and stood up. "Something's up with her, Doctor," he said calmly though his eyes were blazing, "You've got to have noticed. She's been weird for days now. I don't know what it is- she didn't tell me- but I do know it can't just be 'cause she's desperate to get married and have a baby,"

"Oh, so she told you!" the Doctor exploded,

"Only 'cause she was too terrified to tell you!" Jack yelled back, "What's that tell you about her mental state at the moment, Doctor? She's always told you everything! I'm telling you; something is wrong with our girl!"

The Doctor collapsed wearily onto Jack's vacated seat, suddenly looking every inch his nine hundred plus years. "I don't know what to do, Jack," he whispered, "How did we get like this?"

"'Cause you laughed in her face when she revealed her innermost want to you," Jack said stoutly.

The Doctor winced. "It's just not possible," he said lowly, "No matter how much we both want it, it can't happen,"

"You want to get married and have a baby too?" Jack asked, shocked.

The Doctor nodded. "But we can't. This life is too dangerous for a child. I worry enough about Rose and you, without the added responsibility of a young, curious child too."

Jack nodded. He got that. "But what about marriage? Why not that?"

The Doctor shook his head, not answering.

"Doctor?" Jack prompted,

"Just leave it, Jack," he sighed, closing his eyes,

"No, I will not 'just leave it'!" Jack stormed, "We've got a girl down the corridor, whose heart is shattered as a result of you, so I think you owe it to me and to her to explain your reasoning,"

"Fine!" the Doctor yelled, "I'm scared, OK? I'm absolutely terrified of committing to her through marriage because one day I'm gonna lose her and I'm not gonna be able to live anymore. She's gonna die and I'm gonna have to live on by myself, alone for I don't know how long and I won't be able to cope! I've let her get too close to me; I've given her everything and as a result, it's gonna break me when she's gone. But I love her too much to let her go! Don't you see, Jack?"

"Well, why don't you tell her that?!" Jack retorted, "'Cause right now, she thinks you hate her,"

"I would if she'd let me!" the Doctor replied, running a hand through his hair, "I've tried!"

"Well, try again!" Jack said strongly, "When have you ever given up on something, Doctor?"

He sighed. "I'm going to give her some space tonight," he decided after a moment, "Let her cool down and then I'll try again in the morning."

Jack nodded. "I'm going to see her now," he told his friend quietly, "I promised her I would and then I'll go to bed so I'll see you in the morning, Doctor,"

"Night, Jack," the Time Lord said, distractedly. He was in for a long, painful night.

Jack nodded and left the room, walking quietly down the corridors until he reached Rose's room. He tapped gently on the door before opening it. "Rose?"

There was no reply and as Jack pushed the door further open, a ray of light from the corridor shone onto her face, showing that she was fast asleep; tears tracks still visible on her face. She must have cried herself to sleep. Jack's heart clenched painfully as he turned out the light.

"Sweet dreams, honey," he whispered, before leaving.

He'd try again in the morning too.

When Rose woke up the next morning, it took a moment for her to remember everything that had happened. The first couple of moments were bliss before all her troubles crashed down on her shoulders again. Her eyes were sore and puffy from the amount of crying she'd been doing last night.

Unwilling to greet the day just yet, Rose hid back under the cover, feeling strangely alone. It had been a long time since she'd woken up alone in bed. She briefly wondered if the Doctor had actually slept last night. She had been surprised that she had, to be honest. Letting out a sigh, she nibbled on her lip. She remembered having a nice dream last night where the Doctor had sat on the bed next to her while she slept and taken her hand in his, whispering how sorry he was and how guilty he felt and to read the letter, before he'd left, leaving a soft kiss on her forehead. But it was just a dream. He'd not been here, there was no letter and he certainly hadn't kissed her. He wouldn't. Not now.

Biting her lip firmly to stop herself crying, Rose tumbled out of bed and went to get ready, ignoring all of the Doctor's things that were scattered around their shared bathroom. She winced at her tearstained face before applying a layer of make-up to make her look and feel better. Then, she took a deep breath and left the bedroom, heading for the kitchen for some food and praying that the Doctor wasn't there. Luckily he wasn't. Only Jack was there, sitting at the table and munching on some toast. As soon as he saw her, he held out an arm and pulled her into him, hugging her tightly and letting her know without words that he was there for her. Rose screwed her face up where it was buried in Jack's neck, struggling not to cry again.

"I'm sorry I was so bitchy to you yesterday," she whispered eventually, "I didn't mean it. I don't know what's up with me lately,"

"It's OK," her best friend assured her, "You're probably just stressed out from what's being going on lately."

Rose nodded slowly, reaching out for some toast. "What's he been like?" she asked,

"Gutted," Jack said honestly, "Rose, won't you talk to him?"

"No," she said straight away, "I don't even want to see him,"

"Rose…"

"Jack, no," she said firmly, "I don't want to talk about it, OK? I just want to get on with our day."

Jack nodded silently. She'd put up her shield again; something she always did when she was emotionally insecure or worried. It was something that she'd picked up from spending so much time with the Doctor. It had been a very long time since she'd put it up in the TARDIS.

Rose smiled weakly at him before resting her head against his shoulder and continuing her breakfast.

Just then, the atmosphere turned tense as the Doctor appeared in the doorway, looking tired and withdrawn. He looked directly at Rose, with hope in his eyes but it soon diminished at her frosty gaze. His face drooped; disappointment and distress very prominent on it.

"Rose?" he said softly.

Rose put her toast down and walked past him and out of the room, her head held high.

"Rose, listen to me," he urged, chasing after her down the corridor.

She kept on walking, not looking back and seemingly strong and in control but the Doctor knew better from the tell-tale signs of her tensed shoulders and trembling hands.

"Please, Rose," he begged, reaching out and placing a hand on her shoulder,

"Get off me!" she yelled, whipping around suddenly,

"Well, let me explain!" the Doctor said, exasperatedly,

"Just leave me alone, Doctor!"

"Not until you hear me out!" he said, firmly holding onto her wrist, "I'm sorry, Rose. I'm so sorry. It came out wrong and you've got to understand my reasons. If you just read the…"

"Shut up!" Rose screamed, interrupting him, "Don't say anything! I don't want to be hurt anymore…"

The Doctor felt his hearts break once again at the look of pure misery on her face. "Rose…" he began again in a choked voice but she wrenched her arm out of his loosened grasp.

"Please leave me alone, Doctor," she whispered, tears in her eyes before she ran off down the corridor and out of sight.

The Doctor wiped his eyes furiously as he sank down onto the corridor floor, his head in his hands. What was he going to do now?

Review please. Constructive criticism is gladly received.