Chapter 5:

Chuck sat silently in the car waiting for Carmen to fill him in but she seemed more interested in navigating the road. Her cheerfulness had faded rapidly once they were out of Ellie's sight and by the time they got to the car, she was positively standoffish.

Having spent the first fifteen minutes in silence, Carmen seemed content to spend the rest of their trip in the same manner until Chuck decided to speak up.

"So…" he broached, fidgeting with his hands. "How long have we been together?"

"Almost a year," she said, still staring at the road.

A year. That was a decent amount of time.

"And we live together?"

She nodded.

"How long—"

"A month after we met."

Chuck sank deeper into the seat. He couldn't help but feel like they had rushed things which was strange because he really wasn't the type.

He stared at her profile, imagining himself madly in love with her. It was harder for him to imagine her reciprocating the same feelings, especially with the way she was acting now.

"How did we meet?"

Carmen frowned and stole a glance in his direction. "Um…" she said softly, and then seemed to focus all her energy on the empty track of asphalt in front of them.

"Carmen?"

"We…" She stole another furtive glance at him, and appeared annoyed to see that he was still staring at her. "We met through a friend of a friend."

"Which friend?"

She frowned again. "Chuck," she said in exasperation.

"What? It's a simple question."

Carmen shrugged. "You wouldn't know her anyway, what does it matter?"

Chuck dropped the subject but her evasiveness bothered him.

"What do you do for a living?"

"I'm an accountant at a firm," she said, chewing on her lips.

"Which firm?"

"Chuck!" She looked at him, her eyes flashing with anger, and Chuck couldn't understand it. What was he doing wrong?

"Okay," he said, holding his hands up in surrender. "We won't talk about it." Either he really disapproved of her work or Carmen really hated her job.

"What do I do for a living?"

Carmen gripped the steering wheel so tightly her knuckles were bone-white.

"Carmen?"

"I don't know," she snapped. "You work with computers in an office."

Chuck sighed and looked out the window. He wondered if they knew each other any better before the accident. He didn't want to think it much less say it, but she was not who he imagined himself with five years in the future.

"Are you mad at me or something?"

Carmen tore her eyes off the road. "What do you mean?" she asked, the tension in her face softening a little.

"Did I do something to make you upset?" he clarified. "Besides the obvious memory loss, I mean. You're being kind of hostile."

Her cheeks flushed at the accusation and Chuck was glad there was something to occupy her mind otherwise she looked ready to toss him through the windshield. "I'm just adjusting to the situation at hand," she said. "We had a good thing going and now…"

Chuck looked at her curiously. "Were we in love?" he asked quietly.

She wouldn't look at him. "Yeah."

"Does Morgan know about what happened? Did you tell him?"

Carmen frowned. "Who?"

The surprise in her voice was a first. Chuck could doubt everything else she'd said, but not this.

He closed his eyes. First he'd lost his sister, and now his best friend.

"Never mind." Chuck retreated into his thoughts and they spent the rest of the car trip in silence. The more he learned about his life, the more he wished he could go back to the way things were.

_

The car pulled into a parking lot adjacent to an apartment complex. It was modest, and the surrounding area looked safe and largely residential.

"Not bad…" Chuck said under his breath. He wondered how they afforded the place and suddenly hoped his new job paid more than his Buy-More salary.

Before Chuck could pull on the door latch and exit, Carmen grabbed his hand and squeezed.

"Chuck, wait." She pulled the keys out of the ignition and they sat in silence. "Look. I know about what happened. Ellie told me and I pieced the rest together."

"About the accident."

She nodded. "Yeah, about that," she said. "Look. What you did was stupid, and I don't know what's going to happen but I want you to know that I'll still be here, in case you need anything."

Chuck blinked. "I don't understand—"

"That's okay," she said, shushing him with a finger to his lips. Her touch sent tremors down his back. "You don't have to."

He laughed nervously. "Carmen, I don't know what my sister's told you but I fell on my head. Hard. Very hard." He felt he needed to emphasize the point to her because she didn't seem too impressed.

She smiled at him and nodded, but the look in her eyes didn't change. "I know."

"Then why do I feel like you're accusing me of doing it on purpose?"

Carmen sighed and kissed him gently on the cheek. "Now why would you think that?"

Before Chuck could explain though, she exited the car, marking the end of their conversation.

_

"Okay, well there isn't much to show here so just have a look around and make yourself at home," Carmen said as she opened the door and let Chuck in.

"Because I am at home," he emphasized to himself, though it felt anything but. The apartment was small but not terribly so. The kitchen, dining room, living room and doorway all seemed to blend into one large space, and there was a hallway that led to what he supposed was the bedroom.

Chuck looked from the bare walls to the sparse furniture, wondering just how dull his life really was. "Did you decorate this place or did I?" There was no TV or stereo in the living room, just a couch and a bookcase filled with books he'd never heard of.

Carmen gave him a pointed look. "We did," she said. "Together. Is something wrong?"

"No!" Chuck said quickly and smiled to prove his point. "No. No. Everything is very lovely here. Just peachy." He couldn't help but feel like he was treading on thin ice with his girlfriend. They had only known each other for an hour and she had already snapped at him twice. "Where…where are my video games?"

"You don't play video games," she said matter-of-factly.

Chuck gulped. That was impossible. He would have accused her of lying if he didn't feel so out of his element standing in their apartment. He turned around, scanning the corners for any possible wires or hidden boxes.

"What are you looking for, Chuck?"

Chuck straightened up and grinned at her. "Uh…um…" he uttered, stalling for time. "Pictures!" He clapped his hands, relieved at his stroke of genius. "I'm looking for pictures to jog my memory a little, you know?"

Carmen looked dubious but she let it drop. "Um, there's one," she said, pointing to the far corner beside the couch.

Chuck walked over and picked up the photo frame from the corner table. He was standing beside Carmen in a park. His arm was slung over her shoulder and they both wore big smiles on their faces. Chuck had no recollection of that moment.

"Do we have any others?" he asked.

"Um…" Carmen shifted uneasily where she was standing. "I don't know…I'll look." That was a no.

Chuck put the frame back but his eyes lingered on the photograph. He wasn't sure why there was only one photo of them as a couple but one thing was for sure. He had been forcing a smile.

There were two bedrooms to the apartment and both contained beds.

"The other is a storage room," Carmen explained quickly, as if reading his thoughts. "You threw all your messy junk there."

Chuck wrinkled his brows. "My messy junk?" he repeated, peeking his head into the smaller room. It wasn't junk. It was almost an exact replica of his old bedroom at Ellie's, complete with all the posters and knickknacks. In comparison, the master bedroom was immaculate and simple. The walls were bare and there was nothing but the essentials in the room. By Carmen's definition, anything besides a bed and a dresser was probably 'messy junk'.

"So this is where I did most of my work?" he asked, stepping into his old room.

Carmen looked at him blankly. "I'm going to call my boss and take a shower," she excused and padded down the hallway.

Chuck closed the door self-consciously after her and sank onto his unmade bed. If it was only a storage room, why were the sheets tossed to the side?

He walked over to the top of his dresser where he saw a pile of spare change, a stick of deodorant, and a pack of gum; all things he would put there if he was using the room.

Carmen was not telling him something, and he was sure it wasn't the only thing. He scanned the rest of his room, noting the computer monitor covered in stickies, and his DVD collection arranged on the bookcase. He sat down on the chair swiveling in circles as he tried to imagine himself here, probably hiding from his beautiful but emotionless girlfriend.

There wasn't a single photo of Carmen in the room, or anything that even indicated he had a girlfriend. Was he simply being ungrateful? She was stunning and Ellie seemed to approve so why wouldn't there be more photos?

Chuck walked over to inspect his collection of DVDs. He wondered what was good to watch now; had his favorite shows had been canceled? There were a lot of titles he didn't recognize but only one stood out to him. There was something familiar about it but he was sure he'd never heard of it before.

He pulled out the case to inspect it only to realize it wasn't a DVD. It was a video game. Chuck smiled to himself; he knew video games weren't something he could completely give up. It gave him hope, proof that he hadn't changed as dramatically as he was led to believe. He put the title back where he found it. When he had the time he would look for the console but for now he was satisfied.

"Chuck?" Chuck walked back out into the living room where Carmen stood, her hair slick and wet from the shower. She had been remarkably efficient with her use of time. "Ellie called. Said Devon got home early. Do you want to pick something up together and then head over?"

Chuck shrugged. "Yeah, sure." He really didn't know what to think anymore.

Carmen smiled. "Great. Just let me get changed." Wearing nothing more than a towel, she seemed to know the effect she would have on him when she brushed past him.

Chuck gulped. He opened his mouth, prepared to confront her about the video game but she made him reconsider.

"Okay..." he said though it sounded more like a strangled sigh. From everything today, he was sure she kept some secrets from him too.

"Hey, Chuck?" he heard her call from behind closed doors. "Can you grab the grocery list? I left it on the fridge door."

Chuck walked over to the kitchen but couldn't see anything save for a few take-out menus stuck to the surface. Perhaps it had slipped from one of the magnets. He got down on his knees and peered under the fridge. There was definitely something.

He reached in and felt his hands wrap around something solid. Not a grocery list, probably a magnet that had fallen under.

A magnet this heavy? Chuck wasn't sure what he was holding onto, but there was only one way to find out. Carefully maneuvering his hand back out, he jumped at the realization.

Holy crap! He bit down on his fist to keep from freaking out. It was a gun. Probably with real bullets and everything.

Apparently we kept some pretty big secrets from each other.


A/N: Happy New Years everyone!