Disclaimer: The X-Files belong to Chris Carter and Fox, Californication belongs to Tom Kapinos and Showtime. David Duchovny is just the common factor, and more importantly, the inspiration!

A/N: I'm so happy that I actually got some responses to this story! I didn't know if anyone would be interested. But apparently there are more Californication fans that lurk in the XF section than I thought! Cool. So here is the second installment – enjoy!

Ch. 2: First Impressions

After an excruciating day of trying to write and producing nothing, it was time for Hank to pick up his cousin Fox and his guest from the airport. On the way, Hank pondered what kind of person Fox could actually convince to come on vacation with him. Hank remembered Fox calling the person Scully, which was no help. His imagination running wild now, Hank deduced that Scully was more than likely his cousin's F.B.I. partner, which would explain why Fox was calling him by his last name.

But Hank still wasn't positive about the nature of Fox and this Scully's relationship. When he'd mentioned to Fox that all he had to offer for them to sleep on was a foldout couch, his cousin laughed and assured him that it wouldn't be a problem for them. This led Hank to believe that his cousin might possibly be gay. Which was fine – hardly anyone gave a damn about sexual orientation in L.A. anyway. But Hank had never imagined his cousin to be gay, so it would take a little getting used to. Just as long as Fox and his partner didn't start becoming overly affectionate in front of him, he wouldn't have a problem with it. In turn, Hank, being the courteous host that he was, would make sure that any girls that he might happen to pick up would be taken straight to his bedroom. Anything that might happen would do so behind a closed door. It only was the polite thing to do.

Finally after two long hours being stuck in traffic jams, Hank pulled into the Los Angeles International Airport parking garage. He checked his watch and found that he had arrived twenty minutes early, which meant he had about thirty minutes until he'd have to meet his cousin. So Hank went into the airport, found Fox's flight's terminal, and took a seat at one of the nearby bars to wait. He figured if he had to drive all the way out here to pick up Fox, he might as well get a drink out of the trip.

333

Meanwhile, Fox Mulder and his partner, Dana Scully, had just touched down in LAX. Scully had never been more grateful to land, because her partner (in all senses of the word) wasn't doing so well. Poor Mulder had been sick with a bad sore throat for the past few days, and all Scully wanted to do was get him to his cousin's house and in bed. All during the flight Mulder had fretted over meeting his cousin, who he hadn't seen since he was nine. (Mulder wasn't keen on letting Hank know that he sounded hoarse every time he tried to talk.) Scully just listened and tried to keep her eye-rolling down to a minimum, taking pity on her Mulder since he was sick.

"Are we there yet, Scullee?" Mulder whined as the plane taxied into their gate in Terminal B.

"Almost," she sighed, feeling his forehead. It seemed warmer than normal. "Mulder, you feel a little hot to me. As soon as we get to your cousin's house, I'm taking your temperature."

"I'm only a little hot?" He pouted, sticking out his lower lip. "Scully, that really hurt." She rolled her eyes.

"Well you can't be that sick if you haven't lost your sense of humor." He just grinned at her, his green eyes twinkling with mischief.

"I think I'm just sick enough for you to play doctor to me tonight in-"

"Mulder!" She hissed. "Not here."

"Fine," he said, his expression sullen. But Scully knew he wasn't mad, he was just frustrated that they were on vacation and he wasn't feeling his best.

Just then the captain announced that the passengers were free to disembark, which caused everyone to rush for their bags in the overhead compartments. Unfortunately, a young band student lost a hold of her French horn case, and ended up bonking Mulder with it on the nose. Blushing, the girl apologized, and Scully ushered her on her way, climbing back into the row of seats to tend to Mulder who was quietly whimpering in pain.

"It hurts, Scully," he whispered. She sighed, knowing that in a few minutes the bump on his nose would start to swell.

"I'm sorry, Mulder," she said, squeezing his hand. "You have the worst luck travelling of anyone I know." Mulder snorted in agreement.

"I just want to get out of here." She nodded, and gathered up their suitcases. Mulder tried to carry her bag, but Scully wouldn't have it.

"You need to keep your strength up," she insisted, giving him the rolling suitcase to pull instead.

"Oh really?" He smirked. "For what may I ask?" Scully closed her eyes, and rubbed her temple as if she had a headache. Vacation with Mulder - why had she ever thought that this would be a good idea?

333

Eventually the two agents made it up the walkway and out into the terminal. They made a funny sight for any passerby that happened to see them. The petite woman was carrying the large bulky suitcase with no problem, while the man struggled to pull the rolling suitcase. It was almost a comical scene, especially when the man kept dropping his suitcase handle.

"Scully, I can't let Hank see me like this," Mulder moaned, who was holding a hand over his nose as they walked down the terminal hallway.

"I wouldn't want him to see you like this either," she admitted. "You look ridiculous holding your hand in front of your nose!" Mulder scowled at her.

"No, I mean I don't want him to see me with my nose all swollen! It's big enough at it is." They stopped to rest a bit, just after they passed security.

"I happen to love your nose, Mulder," she said, lightly kissing the tip. "And if Hank says anything about it, I can always arrest him or something." Mulder chuckled. "From what I've heard of him, he'd probably enjoy that." She raised her eyebrows.

"Just what have you heard of him?"

"I know that he's a real womanizer," said Mulder, shaking his head. "So be on your guard." She rolled her eyes.

"Relax, I'll be fine. He's your cousin! And besides, he knows that I'm with you."

"Ah, well…" Mulder trailed off nervously. "About that..."

"You didn't tell him about us?" Scully gaped at him, incredulous.

"I hinted at it, but I don't think he got the message." Mulder sighed. "But don't worry, I'll set him straight first thing, alright?" She nodded, gently pressing on his nose to check on the extent of the damage.

"Ow," he muttered. She sighed – sometimes Mulder could be a big baby.

"It's looking pretty bad, I'm afraid. You stay here and I'll go get you some ice." Mulder frowned as she dropped her suitcase at his feet.

"But what if Hank comes?"

"We arrived thirty minutes early," Scully reminded him. "He's probably not even in the airport yet."

"Hurry," Mulder called after her. He watched as Scully disappeared around the corner, wishing that Hank would show up so they could finally get out of the airport.

333

Scully kept up a brisk walk as she searched for a place that would have some ice. She had just come upon a bar when nature called. Vowing to get the ice just after she relieved herself, Scully ducked into the bathroom. It wasn't long before she left the bathroom, feeling quite refreshed. Remembering her ailing partner, Scully made her way over to the bar, planning to ask the bartender to make her a makeshift icepack. But then she saw that Mulder was already sitting at the bar – she'd recognize the back of his head anywhere. He must've walked to the bar while she'd been in the bathroom. But then if that was Mulder, where was their luggage? Scully groaned, not happy that he'd just left their belongings behind to go have a drink of… was that bourbon? And so, in true Scully fashion, she decided to give him a piece of her mind.

"Mulder, where the hell is our luggage?" She exploded, walking up right behind him. "I know you're sick, but that doesn't give you an excuse to-" But then the man turned around and Scully inwardly gasped. The man looked an awful lot like Mulder, he was even wearing jeans and a gray T-shirt like Mulder was currently wearing, but he was not Mulder.

"I'm not Mulder," said the man, reaffirming what she already knew. Taking a closer look, Scully could pinpoint the subtle differences. This man's dark hair had some highlights, his skin had a healthy tan, and he hadn't shaved that day. But other than that, he was a dead ringer for her partner. He had the same piercing green eyes, the same jutting lower lip, even his voice was practically the same. All of those physical attributes that she found so attractive in Mulder, this man had as well. Oh boy…

"I realize that now," said Scully, her face burning with embarrassment as several travelers watched the scene with interest. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to yell at you."

"Don't worry about it," Hank said with a chuckle. Someone had already mistaken him for his odd cousin Fox! He knew that when Fox arrived things would get a little crazy, but Hank wasn't complaining about this incident. The redhead before him was gorgeous! He wasn't about to pass up this opportunity to get to know her better. "Why don't you sit down and have a drink with me?"

"Ah, I don't think so," said Scully, realizing just who she was speaking to. She turned to the bartender. "What I really need is-"

"…to tell me your name," Hank finished, turning her back toward him. "You only get a free drink from me if I know your name."

"Fine," Scully snapped irritably, deciding that now was as good a time as any to reveal her identity. She shrugged away from his light grip on her arm. "I'm Dana Scully. Happy?" Hank's jaw dropped as he put two and two together. This was Fox's guest?

"I thought you were going to be a man," said Hank, wincing as he realized what he said. Scully just shook her head in disbelief.

"Is this how you talk to all the ladies, Hank?" He shook his head.

"I didn't mean to offend you," Hank apologized, his eyes sweeping her body. "You are quite a beautiful woman, Dana."

"It's Scully, Hank," she growled, folding her arms across her chest. "Why are you so surprised that your cousin has a female partner?"

"I don't know," he mumbled. "He never mentioned that he was bringing a woman, so I just assumed that you were a man." Scully sighed.

"You still thought I was a man when Mulder told you he'd have no problem sharing the foldout couch with me?"

"Yeah," Hank admitted. "It crossed my mind that Fox was gay."

"What?" Scully cried. "Mulder? Are you kidding me?"

"No, you're the one who must be kidding me," Hank exclaimed. "There's no way that my dorky cousin Fox, Fox-the-alien-chaser, could get you to sleep with him."

"Excuse me?" Came the hoarse voice from behind Scully. Hank gulped as he watched Dana Scully's eyes light up at the sight of a furious Fox Mulder with a swollen nose. Somehow this wasn't quite the family reunion he had pictured…

End Ch. 2

A/N: Let me know what you think!!