A/N: A big thanks to everyone who took the time to write a review. I really appreciate it. If i weren't for you guys, i wouldn't even know that carmen was unlikeable (hmm...maybe not but confirmation is always good). I wanted to get this chapter out earlier because hey, mondays suck, but this was so difficult to write. I know i'm writing for myself but i really wanted you guys to like it too, and i'm sure everyone has their own expectations for how things would play out...Anyways, i'm just rambling now, so here it is.

Chapter 13:

Chuck stepped into the café, walking obliviously past the large chalkboard menu and brightly lit pastry display. His eyes roved in the dark ambient light, searching through the crowd. He found her easily at a table in the corner, her golden hair like a beacon calling out to him.

He waved nervously and she smiled, returning the gesture with one of her own.

"Thank you for coming," he said, slightly out of breath.

If she was the very image of serenity, then he was the perfect example of nerves. His legs felt like jelly as he sank into the empty chair across from her.

She smiled again; soft and warm. "Of course," she said and shrugged it off as if it was nothing.

Chuck gulped nervously, trying in vain to calm himself. The waiter appeared and he ordered a drink even though the state of his anxiety advised otherwise.

Then it was just the two of them again.

"So—"

"I didn't—"

They both stopped and looked at each other, waiting for the other to begin.

"Please, you were saying?" Chuck took the moment to catch his breath.

She looked into his eyes, then down at the table. "I didn't…" She hesitated again, but the smile was still there. A good sign, Chuck hoped. "I didn't think you would want to see me again. After last time." Her words grew softer still as she looked back at him, her eyes clear and frank. "I'd hoped you would call."

Chuck gulped. "Why wouldn't I want to see you again?" Before she even answered, a dozen reasons rang in his mind; all in Ellie's disapproving tone. None of them seemed good enough though.

She looked at him, her lips twitching as if about to speak, only to press them tightly together and respond with a shrug. Chuck nodded quietly to himself. Perhaps it was better that she remained silent.

"So," Chuck said. "How are you? Where are you staying?"

Her eyes brightened. "At a hotel a couple blocks down." She tilted her head, vaguely indicating a direction. "The décor is very… green."

Chuck had no idea what she was saying but he burst out in laughter anyway. She wrinkled her brows, and then joined him with her own laugh. He decided then that it was his favorite sound. It was soft and melodic, like a perfectly strummed chord on a guitar and once he'd heard it, he wanted to hear it always.

The thought gave him pause.

He drank in the sight of her, composing a mental picture of her pale golden hair caught in loose curls, and the cerulean of her eyes dancing with amusement. She was more alive than he'd ever seen her. Even her posture was endearing; a casual pose, one open palm supporting her cheek as she tilted her head to the side. This was the Sarah he'd been searching for.

She said something to him but he didn't hear it. All he could think was how he could get used to this—all of it.

Suddenly his coffee arrived and the moment faded. She sat back straight in her chair and Chuck tore his eyes away from her to thank the waiter.

"Sorry, you were saying?" Chuck took the coffee and hid his face behind it so she wouldn't suspect his inattention.

Sarah toyed with the handle of her mug, stalling for time. "Did something happen, Chuck?" she finally asked, looking up at him. "Did you remember something?"

Chuck was afraid to see the look of hope in her eyes, but she hid her emotions well. That or she had learned to drastically lower her expectations.

"No. Why?"

Sarah looked around the room and shrugged, her shoulders sagging a little. "I just thought, of all the places you could have chosen…" She smiled a little. "I guess it was just a coincidence, huh?"

The realization sank in slowly. He wasn't really sure why he chose the place either. When he asked her to meet him, the café was the first thing that popped into his head.

"Did we come here a lot?"

She smiled and pointed to the cup. "You ordered your usual." She was staring at him now, searching for something in his eyes. "Just a coincidence, right?"

Chuck wished he could tell her different. "It just…felt right," he said. "Sorry."

She nodded, but for all her skill, the disappointment was impossible to hide.

"It's quite a run from my place to here," he remarked, trying to cheer her up. Sarah laughed. "I must have been in great shape, huh?"

"It came in handy," she said softly. A smile wavered on her face then collapsed.

I'm sure I have no idea. Chuck took a nervous gulp of his coffee. He didn't want to break the moment, but he had to say it. "I've been doing a lot of thinking, Sarah."

She froze and her eyes widened in alarm. "Chuck—"

"You don't have to say anything. You just have to listen." Sarah relaxed a little, giving Chuck just enough confidence to continue. "I still don't remember anything but I can guess. I've had to do a lot of guessing." He reached out, stopping just short of clasping her hands. "I have no idea where I work, I don't know what I do in my spare time, I don't even know how to use the features on my phone—but I do know that things aren't quite right."

Chuck paused but Sarah's expression was indecipherable. "You acted like you didn't know me, and then you come back and tell me we've never broken up."

Sarah winced, tensing the muscles in her jaw. Her calm exterior threatened on the verge of collapse.

"Chuck…" she sighed. "I—"

"My girlfriend doesn't know anything about me. We have separate bedrooms and she acts like she wants me one minute and hates me the next."

Sarah frowned. "She wants you?" she asked, the slightest hint of annoyance in her voice.

Chuck failed to notice however. "I'm not close with my sister anymore and Morgan says I'm always busy and trying to be someplace. No one seems to know anything and you…" He stopped and stared at her, taking her by surprise. "You said you were sorry."

Sarah looked away, unable to hold his gaze. "Yeah, I am," she said, her words lost in a long drawn out sigh.

"What are you sorry for?"

She turned sharply and looked at him again, her eyes dark like a storm. Her lips twitched but she was mute.

"It's okay," he said and took a deep breath. "I think I know."

Sarah tilted her head, evidently surprised. "You do?"

"Yeah." Chuck took a deep breath before plunging into uncharted territory. "I hung out with Morgan and played that game we were designing together. It was about a guy who had government secrets stuck in his head." He paused, letting it sink in for her. "You were sent by the CIA to protect me, weren't you?" he asked in a cautious whisper.

He wasn't even sure she heard him until he saw the change that came over her. She sat as rigid as a statue and the color seemed to drain from her face. Only her eyes expressed any hint of life while the rest of her was paralyzed with astonishment.

As ridiculous as the idea had been, Chuck knew he was right when Sarah didn't respond. He had designed that character after her.

"Chuck…" she whispered softly, and reached across the table.

Chuck looked down, interlacing his fingers with hers. It was a perfect fit. "You pretended to be my girlfriend so it would be easier to be around me."

Sarah didn't say anything. She couldn't.

"But as time went on we developed feelings for each other." Chuck didn't wait for her to answer. Her eyes said it all. "It wasn't an accident, what happened in Washington. I wasn't on a business trip. I did it to get rid of those secrets."

Sarah's eyes began to fill with tears but she remained silent.

"And it worked. Too well." Chuck reached across the table and used his thumb to wipe the tears from her cheeks, his other hand still firmly caught in hers.

Sarah smiled grimly at him. Finally she let go and leaned against the back of her chair, wiping the rest of her tears herself. She stared at the corner but her eyes were distant and lost in thought.

Chuck held his breath as he waited to hear her speak. Maybe he had guessed wrong, but it felt right.

"It took them four years to suspect something," she finally said. Sarah chose her words carefully and they were vague at best, but Chuck understood. "It was frowned upon. They wanted to introduce someone else."

"Carmen," he mouthed, careful not to say the name out loud.

She smiled wanly. "You went along with it. I stuck around but they wouldn't let me—" she stopped, unsure how to fill in the blanks.

"It's okay." Chuck took over, imaging what came next. "I went along with it but we never ended things. And I couldn't tell my sister or my friends. It was a secret."

She closed her eyes and nodded. It was their secret, a secret even greater than the ones that were once in his head.

"It wasn't enough," Chuck realized. "We couldn't be together until those secrets were out of my head. It wasn't an accident, was it?"

Sarah shook her head, a look of guilt painted on her face. "I'm so sorry, Chuck."

Chuck didn't understand at first, but reading her expression he came to the awful realization. "You were going to leave." She couldn't look him in the eye, and she made no attempt to deny it. "When I forgot about you, you were going to return to the agency."

Sarah began to cry in earnest, hiding her tears behind a curtain of long, blond hair. Aside from her subtle trembling and soft whimpers, the other patrons of the shop were none the wiser but for Chuck, the sight was enough to twist his insides.

"Sarah," Chuck reached out, gripping her by the wrist and forcing her to look at him. "Hey, Sarah, come on."

She looked up at him, her face flush with emotion. "Why are you smiling?"

Chuck took her hand, wrapping his over hers. "You quit your job." Chuck allowed his smile to grow until it reached from ear to ear. "You came back to me."

Sarah stared at him in complete and utter disbelief. She didn't ask for his forgiveness and she didn't need to. Chuck's smile said it all.

"I know my feelings for you aren't the same as before. I know I don't love you the way I used to," Chuck said. They both flinched, but it was the truth. Sarah nodded, urging him to go on with a brave smile. "But you—us, it's the only thing that feels right, right now."

"Give me time." He squeezed her hand, promising never to let go again. "I know I want to be with you."

Sarah smiled despite her tears and Chuck wanted to think that they were tears of happiness.

"All the time in the world," she whispered. "I'm not going anywhere."

Chuck thought she'd never looked more beautiful to him than in that moment. If not for the wretched table between them, he would have taken her in his arms and kissed her right then.

It wouldn't be like those other kisses, he was sure there would be no awkwardness, no hesitation this time. It would feel as if he'd kissed her a thousand times before; the most familiar feeling in the world.

"The night before we left for D.C….I proposed, didn't I?"

Sarah gaped. "How—"

Chuck reached into his pocket and pulled out the little velvet box. He placed it on the table and slid it over until it was in front of her bare hands.

"I'm sorry, Sarah, my memory isn't very good. The doctor tells me I've had a nasty fall." He smiled sheepishly at her. "Would you remind me what your answer was?"

Sarah looked deep into his eyes. The corners of her lips twitched and a smile spread across her face, one not so different from the kind Chuck had committed to memory.