Hallway Outside Ancient Runes.

Black cornered me outside Ancient Runes the next morning before I could go to a restroom. He was looking particularly annoyed, but that could just be the set of his face now.

Merlin knows we both dislike each other. One look from Black makes me bleed out of two orifices.

"Why didn't you come to The Kitchens last night?" Black asked without preamble, oozing intimidation. "I waited for you!"

"That's really too bad," I said. "I am really sorry to hear that."

"Are you?"

"Yes," I said. "Should I not be?"

"I don't think you're being sincere!" Black returned, glaring. "I taste a bit of deception in the air." He sniffed. "It smells foul!"

"Well, it's not me, surely!" Looking around the empty corridor, I suggested, "If we're the only two people in the corridor, and it's not me, Black…Merlin, I wonder who it is? Could it be you? Is it you? Are you being deceptive, Black?"

Black sighed. "You're so annoying! Why are you always so annoying? I don't remember you being this annoying."

I shrugged. "I just can't seem to stop, sorry. You must bring out the Worst in me. Maybe it'd be best if we never talked again?"

"Oho!" Black smirked. "But then you couldn't tutor me!"

I paused, thinking this over. "This is true. How will we work around the Not-Talking Thing, do you think? I think I can survive just as long as only one of us talks, Black. Points go to you, if you know who I think that person should be."

"Me?" Black asked. "Is it me?"

I shook my head sorrowfully. "Oh, he's wrong! How awful! How awful to be wrong all the time!"

Black stared at me. "And you're never wrong, Raisin? I think you're pretty wrong about me. I think you're pretty wrong about your attitude towards me."

"If I have an attitude towards you, Black" I said, "it is only because you keep on getting shirty with me."

Black stopped walking. "I keep on getting shirty with you?"

I snarled, turning around. "Of course!"

Black held up his hands in a gesture of placation and peace. "Whoa there, baby, didn't know you cared! Stand down!"

Recovered, I sniffed at him. "I don't! I don't care. I actually don't care very much. Where you would get that I care—."

"So if I fail History," Black said, considering this, "you wouldn't care? Really?"

"That's different," I said. "I won't let you fail."

Black grinned. Reaching out a finger, he poked me in the ribs. "All the more reason to try harder at failing, then, isn't it, Raisin?" he cooed. "Keep you around me always."

"I don't think having me around always is what you want," I tentatively told Black, not liking this demonstrative side at all. "Like you said before, I can be annoying."

Black shrugged. "Not if you don't talk. When you don't open your gob, you're pretty cute sometimes."

"Uh, thank you?" I said. "That's actually very sweet."

"Really?"

"Yes. I love hearing that there are constituents to my being attractive to you. What else is there? I can't be fat, certainly…" I checked that off with a finger in the air. "There's no talking…"

"You already lose," Black muttered.

"What's that?" I asked, Carefully Serene. "Do you want to repeat that for me?"

"No," Black replied. "I don't."'

"That's what I thought."

At The Stairs, my worst nightmare appeared in the form of Potter, Lupin, and Pettigrew meeting our little group. After having decided that escape was useless due to Black Holding Onto My Arm, I walked to Advanced Potions with most of The Gryffindor 7th year Boys at my side. No one else felt the need to join us, and for that I suppose I should feel thankful. Mara Dice gave me an envious stare when we passed her by on the first floor corridor, and I couldn't help feeling a little lighter. Especially after Lupin won back some of my esteem by frowning at her. Anyone else who dared to look at me, Black stared down.

All in all, it was not an unpleasant walk, if you take into consideration that it prepared my brain for doing well in Potions today. Kind of like a morning crossword, as it were.

"Lucille," I greeted, coming upon her standing outside Slughorn's door; relieved that she had waited for me to enter. Other students, seeing the small mob behind me, and Black's Black Stare, decided it might be proactive to scatter. Another door could be reached somewhere, certainly. "How was Care of Magical Creatures?"

Lucille shrugged, not paying me any attention whatsoever. I followed her calf-eyed gaze to Pervy Lupin, who was smiling back with equal warmth.

"Oh, ew!" I muttered, sharing my first ever commiserating glance with Potter. "Jesus. Get a room, why don't you."

"Quite!"

"Oh, we will," said Lucille faintly. "…In due time."

"Disgusting!"

"Nice," said Black, looking on. "Dawzy, I take back every bad thing I said about you! You're a fine girl. When is the bedding?"

Seeing that Lupin wasn't opening his mouth to say much of anything, I felt compelled to defend my friend. "You might want to start with getting her name correct, dumbarse. Lucille's not one of your bosom mates where you can just give her stupid nicknames. She doesn't moon people like your pervy friend or poke at people indiscriminately with her special stick." I nodded my head at Lupin and Potter. "How are you doing today, Remus, by the way? I find it extraordinary that you're not defending your lady-love right now. Trouble in paradise, is it?"

Lucille was scandalized. "Evelyn! Lay off!"

"I am curious!'" I said. "Your boyfriend has not once put Black in his place for insulting you."

"Black hasn't insulted me!" replied Lucille. "He's just being Black!"

"That is the worst excuse for misbehavior I have ever heard!" I said. "'He's just being Black!' Well, You-Know-Who is just being You-Know-Who when he kills Muggles and Muggle-borns, but do we all think he's in the right and join up with him? No! Or, I would certainly hope we don't!"

Potterstepped in, again reminding me why nobody had any real respect for him. "You do need to lay off!" he said. "No wonder no one likes you if this is the Grand Snit you're always in!" Potter rolled his eyes. "Just like Evans! You can't go around without a stick up your ar—!"

"Thank you," I interrupted him. "That means so much! I'll be sure to tell Evans how much of a wanker you are."

"Evelyn!" Lucille said, sounding horrified by my lack of tact. "What is wrong with you this morning?" Lucille turned to address the boys. "I'm sorry. She's been acting so strange all week!" She went back to gazing at Lupin, who appeared slightly uncomfortable by such an obvious display of love.

"No worries!" said Black. "I'm sure it's just been her monthlies."

"What? You did not just say that. You did not just say that." I was even more offended by Black's comment, because it was true. This was the period that would just not go away. "Lucy," I turned to her, "he did not just say that."

"I think he did," squeaked Peter Pettigrew helpfully.

I stared at Pettigrew. "Thank you. See, my ears were blocked up for a moment and—."

"Class!" yelled Lucille, finally breaking away from Lupin-land. "Evelyn and I have class right now. Sorry, boys, but we'll see you later."

"We should be going as well," agreed Lupin, starting to move.

"You go on, then," said Black, sounding spiteful. "If you want to be a traitor then we won't miss you, will we, Prongs?"

Potter shook his head. "Nope!"

Lupin looked torn between his desire to not be made late to class and his desire to keep his friends happy with him. I didn't sympathize. He obviously wasn't strong enough to man-up and cut the cord. Lucille made Lupin's decision for him by waving goodbye. "Remus," she said.

"Lucille."

"No farewell kiss for Moony?" Black asked, watching Lupin walk away. "What a bad girlfriend you are! And Raisin!" I lifted my eyes to Black in horror, hoping he was not about to suggest what was obviously coming. "What about me? What about this cheek?" Black pointed, leaning in. "It's lonely here, it is, without any lips to kiss it. Doesn't it deserve something as well?"

"You're a dumbarse," I said. "You want me to kiss you?" Black nodded enthusiastically. "I…would be delighted."

"Really?"

I took out my wand and whispered a modified spell to make my lips look glossy. "I've just lathered them with saliva from Severus Snape's mouth." I informed them, and puckered up for effect. "I'm ready. Kissy, kissy, Black!"

"That's nasty!" said Potter.

"I don't believe you." However, Black's hands were shaking with a dread he couldn't hide. "How would you get Snivellus's saliva anyway? You didn't…k-k…ki…"

I helped him out. "Kiss? Black, do you really want to take the chance that I didn't? I do sometimes study with Severus for Potions. It gets intense sometimes, under all those fumes. Do you really want to take the chance that he and I haven't taken advantage of our alone-ness…like you and I have?"

"Don't do it, Padfoot!" Potter whispered. "You don't know where she's been!"

"I think she might be lying!" responded Black just as quietly. I rolled my eyes. Did the Ponces think the rest of us couldn't hear them? I glanced at Lucille; she was Back In Form with the removal of Lupin and looked just as dumbfounded. "I don't know what to do."

"Don't do it!" Potter said again. "Wait for another time."

"Okay," said Black. "Okay."

"Merlin," I breathed. "He is stupid. Listen, Black—."

Black pointed a finger at me. "This isn't over, Raisin! I still expect to see you at Lunchtime."

"Why would I let myself be seen by you?" I asked in curiosity. "All signs point to the fact that we don't get along. Why would I subject myself to more of your terror if I could prevent it?"

"Because you can't seem to stop yourself?" Black said.

I sighed. "Go to class. And take Potter with you. He looks ready to start dueling." I glanced at the man in question. "Do you want a duel, Potter? I'll give you a duel if you really want one. Just make sure it's what you really want."

Potter narrowed his eyes at me. "Oh, I want!"

Lucille, in a rare showing of spine from all that I've seen of her this past week, clapped her hands loudly, and declared, "We should be getting to class, Evelyn!"

"Class isn't important," Potter muttered, still glaring at me. "What's important is showing this little miss—."

"Prongs, we can hold off on it until Lunch, can't we?" Black said, apparently now Decided. "We'll save it up. Maybe we'll throw some food at her!"

"I am right here!" I said, annoyed. "You don't have to talk over me. If you want to threaten me with a food fight, Black, then by all means, threaten me with a food fight. But look me in the face and be a man about it."

"You would know all about being a man, I presume?" said Black. "You being as big as one."

Pretending to be unfazed, I said, "As big as one what, Black? A man? How big of a man are we talking here? Six foot?" I raised a hand to demonstrate. "Five eleven? Does this man have boobs?"

"Maybe he's talking about a tranny," Lucille wondered.

I gasped. "Are you calling me a tranny, Black?" I demanded. When Black looked confused, I said, "You don't know what a Tranny is? How is that possible?"

"'Tranny' is a Muggle term," Lucille said. "It's not surprising that he doesn't know it."

"Oh."

Before anything more could be said, Lucille and I rushed through the Dungeon Door and closed it behind us. There would be time enough to laugh at Black later on.

Professor Flitwick's Office.

I don't know how I am going to do this! It's Saturday. 0920. My parents are supposed to be here in about ten minutes to discuss Black. I have Quidditch Try-Outs in one hour.

I don't know how I am going to do this.

If my mum sees me even glancing out a window while she's trying to lecture me about The Dangers Of Boys and Keeping A Straight Head, she's going to know something is up.

Shite. Merlin, and Christ, and Jesus In A Handbasket!

(Edit: According to Lucille, Christ and Jesus are one and the same. Who knew?)

I am so nervous right now that my throat is seizing up. I feel like I have swallowed a whale. I am such a dumbarse. Who schedules a meeting with their parents during Quidditch Try-Outs? Who?

The past day and a half has basically traveled on the same wave of the past week. After Potions on Thursday, Black did indeed meet me outside my classroom and walked Lucille and I to Lunch. At Lunch, Black then proceeded to sit his arse down in Camilla's seat, and—not throw food at me, but—dogmatically stack up my plate with roast beef sandwiches. Apparently, my rapid loss of weight has been noted; but since everything in the world must have its set place, my weight among them, I am not allowed to be thin.

No. I have to eat and eat until I am back to looking healthy, says Black.

Well, Pah, is what I say to that.

Pah!

Black is not my mum! He cannot continue to boss me around the way he's been doing and expect that I will take it lying down, with a smile on my face.

Black wants me to look healthy? Black should stop trying to ruin my life, is what he should do. It's been causing all this extra stress.

"Oh, it's my Bunny!"

"Mummy," I murmured mournfully, coming into Professor Flitwick's Office and staring at my parents. Not sure if I was happy or unhappy that they were early and I was the one who was late, I didn't move an inch. "Papa," I greeted. "How are you doing?"

"Oh, just fine! Just fine, darling! Mummy missed her Bunny so much!" My mum ran up to me and wrapped me up in her thin arms, squeezing me like I was about to get away.

Perhaps I was? One can never be sure with overly affectionate mothers.

I glanced at Professor Flitwick and winced when I caught him smiling at me. I had prepared for it, but it was still a bit embarrassing to know my Head Of House was witnessing such a gross display of familial affection. "How are your studies going?" my mum asked.

"Mu-Mummy!" I choked—my throat closing up with dread. The last thing I wanted right now was a discussion on my studies. That would just provoke all the new emotions! "A l-little air, please!"

My mum reluctantly released me, and I tried to back up discretely. "Oh! Darling! Mummy's sorry, she is! I just haven't seen you in weeks!" She reached out a hand and patted down my hair. "You look so beautiful! Doesn't our Bunny look Beautiful, Evelyn? Haven't her spots cleared up?"

Evelyn Ransom, my father and namesake—yes, his mama stole a name!—stepped up. "Bunny does look Gorgeous!" he agreed. "But let her come to me for a minute, Antiphone! Let her hug her Papa!" My father opened his arms up wide.

My mum tsked. "I let her go a long time ago, Evelyn!" she said, speaking straight from her arse now. "Look at her!" Everyone looked at me. "She wants nothing to do with her parents now, does she? Look at her just standing there, blank-staring! I don't even know why we are here if she can't accept a little affection!"

Actually a little excited to be near my father if it meant that I was safe from another disastrous embrace from my mum, I sped over. "Papa!" I said. "Thank you for coming."

My father gave me one gentleman-like pat on the back and stepped down. I nodded approvingly. That was how a proper hug was done. "Darling, what's this I hear about a boy humiliating you?" I frowned.

"Uh."

"No boy can humiliate a Ransom girl!" my father continued, "It's just not done! We've already contacted his parents, of course—."

"What?" I said. 'You already contact—."

"Upstarts!" my mother chimed in. "Filthy Followers!"

"Mother!"

"Now, Antiphone, calm yourself!" said my father. "We have all morning to discuss this." I glanced at Professor Flitwick, hoping he could speak up and get us started. We did not have all morning, and my parents surely had to realize sometime soon that my Head Of House was a busy man, he was, and couldn't be bothered with pandering to parents all day; he had Quidditch Try-Outs to oversee!

"Quite right! Quite right!" said Flitwick, complying at last. "Best get on with it! I do have an appointment in an hour, so…"

"Oh!" said my mother in some surprise. "I thought we had you all day! I was looking forward to visiting with both of my children! Well, my husband and I will try not to keep you overlong, I suppose we can check in with the sitter. But we do need to hash out this mess, don't we? I can't have my daughter being harassed in a place she's supposed to feel safe in."

"No," said my father. "We absolutely cannot have that!"

"Right," I said nervously. I fidgeted. If it only weren't for the timing, my parents' premature owling of the Blacks aside, I would still feel confident that this could all work out. "Well…"

"Shall we not all sit down?" Flitwick asked jovially. "No reason to be standing about like this!" Professor Flitwick waved his wand, and the seats that were originally by his desk were now situated in a semi-circle in the middle of the room. My mum had to jump out of the way to avoid smashing into one.

"Oh!"

"Looks Very Nice!" my father approved.

The Quidditch Pitch.

Doing this on the sly. The Meeting ended about two minutes ago. Flitwick left earlier than I did, because he needed the extra time to move his tiny legs down to The Pitch. I, on the other hand, had to shake my parents off by saying that I was late to a Prefects' Meeting, since they of course were unaware that I had to attend Try-Outs as well.

"But on a Saturday?" my mum had asked me. "Why would they have a meeting on a Saturday?"

"Fell deeds do not wait for the week day!" I had responded, already moving out the door and speed-walking down the corridor to The Stairs. "Bye mum! Bye papa! See you at Dinner!"

My parents have decided to stay for The Evening Meal. Obviously they felt they didn't get enough time with me. I am not looking forward to tonight, I can tell you (well, not really).

It astounds me, but I think I forgot how cloying my mum can be. Living at Hogwarts for the last five years and running, I think sometime a while ago, I stopped considering our manor by Ouse to be Home, and instead started considering Hogwarts. It's just so cozy here in the castle sometimes that I get lulled into a false sense of security.

However, my parents were right when they said that no child should be harassed in a place she's supposed to feel safe in. That's the very opposite definition of feeling safe. I understand my mum getting her back up in a snit over that. I would probably feel the same way if I had a daughter. But to contact Black's parents!

Without even notifying me!

My mum most correctly put me in my place for complaining—I did, in effect, hand over the situation to my parents when I sent them that owl—but it still would have been nice to have been informed that my days were numbered. I wasn't at all positive that I wanted to involve Black's parents in this to begin with.

But then I think, how could I not have? Was I just expecting, like a fool, that my parents would take this lying down?

No! I knew that my parents, my mum especially, would feel obligated to stand up for my rights as a student, because they love me. I knew that. And so I sent the letter, because I wanted Black to pay. But I guess I didn't really think about it. I of course didn't think about the timing of it, and I of course didn't think about how this would affect my rapidly dropping social standing here at Hogwarts. Black is going to see my parents sitting up at The Head Table at Dinner tonight, and Know Something Is Up.

I am in deep, deep shite. Oh, Merlin.

What's more is I just thought of the Fun Apollon is going to have when he realizes our parents don't know the complete story. They don't know that my nickname is "Poopy" for instance, and they certainly don't know that I am going to continue tutoring Black.

I will just have to find some way to distract them that is all. Polly having a girlfriend should do it. Our father thinks his son is an Asexual.

I had better fly well today! If I cock it up and don't make The Team, then everything will just have no point anymore. No light. Quidditch Try-Outs were my one shining beacon all week, and if I am going to ruin it by letting thoughts of Black and my parents and Polly get to me while I should be concentrating on flying my best, then I should just not attend at all, I think. Even if everyone is going to be staring and taking the mickey, I don't care. I know they will, and I have to Not Care. I have to do my best. Mara is Trying-Out, too, and I have to put her in her place at least this once.

"Ransom!" Heathcote-of-the-shining-dark-hair greeted, making me want to swoon because he remembered my name, even though I was a fellow Prefect and had meetings with him twice a week. "I didn't know you were trying out! Good on you!"

"Th-thanks," I stuttered, uncomfortably staring into his large black eyes. Rumor had it Heathcote was the lead-singer of some sexy rock band; obviously this only increased his appeal. "Uh, there's a lot of people here. I didn't think there would be so many people."

"Only one spot!" Heathcote said joyfully, looking around. I looked around with him. One spot. Too many people. "A good crop this year, too! I think I'm going to see some fantastic flying!"

"I hope you will," I said. "From me."

"Oh!" said Heathcote. "Think you got what it takes, do you? Well, I guess we'll see."

"Yes, I guess you will."

Heathcote smiled rather hugely and gestured me over to The Stands. Being a bit dumbfounded that such an attractive boy was being so nice to me after listening to a recording of my monster crap on tape, it took me a while to get my legs moving properly. "Why don't you sit down with the rest of the hopefuls?" he suggested. "Only waiting on Professor Flitwick now!"

"He hasn't made it yet?" I said in surprise. "I just saw him running down."

Heathcote shrugged. "Maybe he got held back. He told me yesterday that he might be a bit late due to a meeting he had with a student's parents."

I nodded, but couldn't control my blush. "'Tis possible."

"Ah!" said Heathcote. "There the man is now!"

"Sorry! Sorry, my dears!" Professor Flitwick came racing onto The Pitch like a mouse escaping predators. "Sorry, I'm late! Oh, Evelyn, dear," he addressed me, "glad you made it! I hoped you would."

"Me too," I said. "Are you alright, sir? You look a little pale."

"Just fine!" Professor Flitwick said. "Just fine! Had a little run in with Mrs. Norris that's all. Smelled the ham I had this morning, I daresay!"

"I'm sorry."

"Quite alright! Not your fault at all, dear! Now!" Professor Flitwick turned to Heathcote in surprise. "Why are we not up in the air yet? I told you not to wait on me!"

"We have The Pitch all day, sir."

"Oh, well, yes, that is nice, isn't it?"

Two hours later, we were down to five hopefuls. In a rare bid of Divine Mastermind, Mara had been eliminated in the first round. I liked to think she was too heavy to allow her broom to remain upright in an air-stream, but it could just be that she is Absolutely Horrible At Quidditch. On her Walk-Of-Shame off The Pitch and onto The Stands, she and I exchanged sneers. We were in accord. I would do my best, while Mara would do her best to prevent me from doing my best.

"Poopy! Poopy girl!"

She got her friends to yell out at me and it was very hard to block everything out.

"Don't smash, Poopy!"

"Ohhh, that looked right rough, it did, my friend! Are you sure you're meant to be up there with the rest of them? Maybe you should quit while you're just only a tad humiliated!"

"You don't belong, Poopy!"

"Gooooooo, Poopy! Look at her fly! Look at Poopy fly!" That last one had come from Camilla, and not one of Mara's friends. Camilla, Ah, Camilla. Sweet Girl that she is. She doesn't realize that "Poopy" sounds appalling even as pet name. "She can fly, she can!" Camilla yelled, waving my favorite stuffed bear, Mr. Edward, up for all to see. "Oh, yes she can! Look! Poopy is flying now, you mean-nosed bints!"

Cam was allowed in The Stands only because she had an In with her boyfriend, who was one of our Beaters.

At last, I could say that Alexander Riktus was useful!

Realizing I should probably turn back to the game, I did just that. "You're going to drop!" 6th year James Mason told me, flying into my face and smirking at me. "You're going to drop like a fly!"

"…You're going to drop!" I warned him belatedly, watching as a Bludger smacked him upside the head. Mason's descent was slowed by Professor Flitwick.

"That's one down!" Heathcote called. "You lot, pay attention! Quidditch is a rough game! I want no one unprepared!"

Twenty seconds later, Patrick Carrington spectacularly fumbled two consecutive passes sent by me and was out of the game as well.

"Two down!" said Heathcote.

"Poopy!" yelled Mara. "You're going to droppppp!"

"Shut up!" I murmured, trying to concentrate on passing off the Quaffle again. "Shut up!"

"Pooooopy!"

"That's enough!" Professor Flitwick squeaked, blowing his whistle, and sounding enraged by the amount of attention I was getting.

All play stopped. From The Stands, I spied Mara's fat form jiggling as she stood up and most likely glared at me for Ruining Her Day and getting her in trouble with the professor. Though, how she figures it's my fault is an argument I'd like to hear. "If you can't be respectful, then move off The Pitch!" Flitwick ordered.

"…Sorry, Professor."

"Will you be silent?" Flitwick demanded of Mara.

"Yes, sir."

"Good." Professor Flitwick gestured to Heathcote to resume play. With Mara and her stupid 5th year friends finally silent, I was able to channel my Rage into a different outlet: The Outlet Of Kicking Arse.

(Edit: Really, Evelyn? Really? Can't we come up with anything better? Outlet Of Kicking Arse? I mean, come on.)

I wasn't the best Chaser ever, certainly. But I was the one who wanted the spot most. I was the only one out there willing to Will Myself Onto The Team. I was the one who made the least mistakes. A half hour later, I was the one who was the New Chaser.

Now only if everything else in my life would turn out just as nice.