4th Floor Corridor.

Black left a minute before me, presumably to try and corner me on my way out of McGonagall's classroom.

Well, he wouldn't.

"Raisin."

"Save it!" I snarled. "Molester." I tried to walk around him.

"Hey now—."

"Lunatic," I continued. "Arsewipe. Button-holed…malfeasor." Obviously the tutoring session had not gone very well; Black and I had barely gotten anything done. In between bouts of jabbering at me, he had reduced to a sulky silence all the more annoying for its uselessness. I now had a migraine. Black's exam on Thursday was of course still occurring this Thursday—less than two days away—and the idiot didn't know his Alguff the Awful from his Urg the Unclean.

If this was the kind of blatant disregard for our nation's history I could continue to expect from him then I was going back to McGonagall.

"Excuse me?"

I nodded, increasing the length of my strides. If only I didn't have to walk so far from McGonagall's classroom to get to my Common Room, I could call it a day and let the door shut in Black's stupid pointy face. But the entrance to Ravenclaw Tower was on the other side of the school, and this gave Black more time to follow me. "You heard me. You're a bouffon, too, if that helps any. Vache. Âne.Garcon avec petit testicules."

"You're only insulting me, in French besides, because I'm getting to you!" Black said obnoxiously. "That's the only reason. If I wasn't always around you wouldn't have a problem."

"Il comprend!" I murmured.

"You actually liked my kiss!" he said. "You want some more! I put you off your feet, and you can't stand not being in control. You're panting for me, Raisin, admit it."

Never. Not Ever. "How does your thought processing work out?" I said, stopping. "How is it possible to derive sense from what you just said?" I spread my hands in a supplicating motion and dropped them. If Black's posturing continued, I would no longer harbor fantasies of throwing him off the Astronomy Tower into a puddle of bear piss; they would become reality. "I tell you, it's not. It's not possible! I am not panting for you, Black. I can't just want your kiss and not want this madness at the same time. Everything you say is nonsensical and ignorant."

"Hey now!"

"I am being honest with you. You really should just stop talking full-stop. Save us all the confusion." I started walking again, very quickly, and Black plodded after me, matching my strides and looking casual. I felt my lip curl back. "Please leave."

"I don't want to. I think I want to follow you to your hidey-hole."

"My hidey-hole?"

Black nodded. "Your Common Room. I think I'll go in with you this time!"

"Go in with me?" That was something we couldn't have. "Uh, no, Black, you won't."

"I believe I will."

"You know it's illegal!" I said desperately. "You'll get in trouble! Do you want another deten…" I shook my head. "What am I saying? Of course you do! You have some record going or something with Potter."

"1,456!" said Black proudly, giving me a ridiculous number, the likes of which only he could have come up with, because there was no way it could be true. "This next one will be the 1,457th. James only has 1,200. I'm hoping to reach a solid 2,000 by the time I graduate."

"That's a big goal," I said patronizingly. "A big ambition. One would think that with all the time you put into pulling your pranks some of it could go to applying yourself to getting better grades."

"One would think that, yes. But pranks are more fun!" Black smiled winningly.

"Ugh. Stop talking! You're giving me a very bad headache. Are you being serious?" Black looked back at me like I was the deranged one. "You're serious, aren't you? You really do think pranks are more important than school."

"Of course! Life is too short to always be on about studying for NEWT's and getting good grades. I could die tomorrow, Raisin," he said.

I sighed. "If only."

"And if I've gone living an exciting life, then what more can I expect?"

"Don't you want a good job?" I burst out. "Don't you want good contacts? Good recommendations?"

Black shrugged. "I already have good contacts. Dumbledore loves me!"

"Of course," I mouthed.

"And of course, there's Jamsie," he said. "I'm like the Potters' second child. They look out for their own, you know."

"And you don't feel wrong?" I asked. "You don't feel sick inside from using other people to pave your way like that without doing any work for yourself? Merlin help us, if you plan to become Minister of Magic, Black, because I don't see a nice, prosperous term for our people in the future."

Black grinned. "Do you see chaos, Raisey?"

"I see Destruction: An End To Life As We Know It. And don't call me 'Raisey.'''

"Life as you know it sounds pretty dull, Raisin," Black said. "I'll be happy to help out."

"Dull?" I repeated, quite offended. "My life isn't dull, Black." Obviously not with him around but that went unspoken.

"Uh, I beg to differ, love!"

"Maybe according to your simple standards, my life is dull, because, yes, for the most part if we don't include you…" Hmm. Maybe not so unspoken, Evelyn? "It is free of mayhem. But my life isn't dull. I have many interests."

"Had you ever been kissed before tonight?"

"What?" I breathed out. "That question's ridiculous."

"Had you?"

"Of course I've been kissed!" I said, feeling my face go hotter than the asphalt on a summer's day. "I am not some baby!"

"The girls in your year seem to think the opposite," Black said snidely. "And I guess I should rephrase. Before tonight had you ever kissed a boy?"

"What? What?"

"You heard me," said Black. "I've heard the rumors."

"I am not gay!" I said, glaring at him. I pointed a finger. "Where did you hear that?"

"I didn't say you were," Black responded. "I just asked a simple question about whether you had ever kissed a boy."

"Uh, yes, you arsehole, I have."

"No need to name-call. Who was it then?"

"Your brother!" I said, smirking, struck with inspiration. "We had a fabulous time. The stuff that boy can do with his tongue, mmm…he's very mature, that one. Gives a good bite and lick when you need it."

"He's fifteen!" said Black, finally looking properly scandalized.

"And? What's your point? At fifteen you were already throwing over girls older than you like they were yesterday's trash. You have no reason or right to complain."

"I don't believe you!" Black grumbled some. "Reggie's not…like that."

"Not like what?"

"Not like…that."

"Not like what?"

"Not like…you know…" Black waved his hands vaguely in a drunken way. "You know."

"Obviously I don't, Black. Not like what?"

Black huffed. "Not…you know…interested. He's uninterested."

I frowned. "What do you mean? Are you saying he's not interested in me? Thanks for that. You're ever such a charmer."

"No!" Black said. "That's not what I meant! Reggie's…"

"Yes?"

"He's a poofter."

I sneered. "You recognize the signs, do you? Being one yourself."

"Oh, come off it! A brother would know, wouldn't he? Reggie couldn't help trying on our mum's hats when he was little. Used to say they had spells in them to increase your knowledge but I knew better. He just wanted to dress up in drag."

"You were on to him!" I said dramatically. "You were on the trail! The slippery slide of blood was oozing down the hallway and you saw it, smelled it, were hunting it to its source!"

"Come on! I'm trying to explain something here!"

"You're doing a very good job! Please, continue."

"Are you sensitive about this subject or something?" Black said in a taunting tone. "Is that why your back's all up in a snit? Because the other girls like to talk too much? You know, if you want some practice, Raisey, all you have to do is ask. I won't mind lending a hand for charity's sake."

Self-preservation made me ignore this last bit. "I am not sensitive!" I defended. "I just don't like it when people are judged like that! How would you like it if everyone talked about you behind their backs, Black?"

"Everyone already talks about me," he said, then rolled his eyes. "I didn't know you were such a champion for the lesser people, Raisin. Come on, lighten up! Pull the stick out of your arse and live a little."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Uptight priss."

"What!"

"Always going on about my grades"

"I'm your tutor, you son of Satan! It's my job!"

"Ready now to do battle, are you?" Black looked pleased, and like a dockside whore after her first night of blowing sailors, I realized that he had gotten what he wanted out of me: a reaction. "If you're interested, I have another suggestion. Less painful and embarrassing for you. You won't have to hobble the rest of the way back to your Common Room—at least, we'll save that for later. It'll be pleasant for the both of us."

"Are you speaking gibberish again? Sirius, I told you to stop that."

"You called me 'Sirius' again!" Black sing-songed. "Forgetting yourself, Raisey?"

"With you around to remind me? Not likely, arsewipe."

Ravenclaw 6th year Girls' Dorm Room.

"How did it go?"

"Black jumped me," I said crankily. "And then he had an accident in his pants. How did you think it went?" I was just now coming in from the nightmare of tonight. I attempted to step around the human barricade my three friends had set up, blocking the straight way to my bed and salvation. "If you don't mind…Cam, Tammy," I nodded a greeting, "I have some patrolling to do. I only came in to drop off my books. Frankly, it's time to step aside and let me be."

Lucille put her face directly in front of mine and squinted. "How did it go?" she repeated doggedly.

"Dull!" I said, because I was obsessed with the word now that Black had stomped it into my psyche. "Dull as dishwater. Blank as a baby's pale arse. Plain as Dice's personality. Granola as a coffee house rock set. Except for when the professor was lambasting Black. That was excellent. One highlight of the night."

"Professor McGonagall lambasted Black?" demanded Lucille, veteran iron reporter despite her few years. "What did she say?"

"What's …'lambasted'?" asked Tamara.

Camilla answered before I could even form a thought if I had wanted to. "It means to chastise, dear!" Tamara nodded but still looked unsure, so Camilla added, "Reprimand. Talk to. Apparently, Black got a talking-to, sweetie."

"Ohhh," said Tamara. "And what did McGonagall say?"

"Exactly what we all want to know," Lucille put in. "Evelyn?"

I grinned. "Exactly what she always says to him except with more force: you're ruining your life, Mr. Black. Grow up, Mr. Black! Stop acting like a delinquent! Show some manners! Stop scratching your head like a slow squib! Stop picking your nose! Stop hexing people! Stop breathing wrong! And above all, stop acting like you're King Of The World, because I know you can hear what I'm saying, Mr. Black! It was marvelous."

"Did he start behaving?"

"Ha!"

"I guess that's a 'no,' then." Lucille frowned. "I'll talk to Remus for you."

"Will you also get dear Remus to imperio Black for me?" I said. Tamara gasped. "Yes, Tammy, it's true. I've gone off the bend. Loopy-Loop Crazy. The only way I can see Black reversing his ways is for me to force him. Aside from the darkest of the dark Conduct Correctors, imperio, there's not a behavior-spell on this planet that that boy hasn't thought a way around. Oh, he's crafty, he is." Everyone but Lucy stepped away, paying careful note to my manic hand gestures and glinting eyes. "He was obviously the bane of his mother. No wonder she hates him. No wonder I hate him!"

"Don't say that!" Lucille snapped. "You don't know what it was like for him!"

"But I do know," I said. "Headmaster Dumbledore told me."

"Then you should be more understanding!" Lucille said. ''It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom,'' she parroted in the mien of someone reciting a quote. She always had to sound like bloody Bertrand Russell. What if I want to fight a war? I thought. Huh? What about then? ''It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.''

"Understanding, Lucille? I'll be more understanding when Black shrinks, grows wings, and sheds happy hallucinogenic fairy dust onto my head. Then we both can dance around on tulip petals together like fucking background characters in a Willie Shakespeare play, singing 'tra-la-la-I-love-you-I-love-you-too,' in between moments of even more profound idiot-ness, where we'll blow kisses and coo like turtle doves upon having just met their mates! Then all of us will be happy! Every single one! No more complaining! It will be as if I were lobotomized!"

"My, you're stubborn."

Lucille meant the word as an insult, and truly to a Neutral and Studious Ravenclaw, it was. I shrugged it off like it wasn't a problem, however, and headed for the door, surprised when Lucy let me pass. "I guess I just can't let it go."

Fifth Floor near Statue of Boris the Bewildered.

Stomping through the corridors, hoping to catch a snogging couple Out Of Bounds…

Black really is the most difficult boy I have ever met.

And I do mean he is more annoying than Apollon.

At least with my brother, I can enact back some damage, get my revenge in the form of verbal harassment and threats. But all my sniping seems to do to Black is keep him interested.

And maybe that is the problem.

Maybe I need to be boring and, yes, dull, to get Black to leave me alone; or at the very least, get him to only talk to me when I have asked him a question about his homework.

Even after McGonagall's lecture tonight, all Black seemed to want to do was glare and grump at me like a little boy whose lolly had been taken away. Barring cheating, which I would not put past him either, I wonder how Mr. Suavey Suave thinks he's going to pass his exam on Thursday. More than likely, Black won't study at all. Or he'll tear up the notes I've copied again, and again he will fail, and the result will be that I, Evie Ransom, me, will get the disappointed look from McGonagall, because not only is it My Responsibility to tutor Black but I am also a Ravenclaw—and therefore not in McGonagall's House (And therefore, in a way, yes, I said it, inferior).

It's not my fault the fool can't act like a proper human being. But I know I will get blamed for his misbehavior.

I am supposed to be the matureone.

The girl made older than her years by put-downs and put away feelings. The one everyone comes to when he or she needs some advice on homework or what do about pumpkin juice stains on robes (amoveo!). The one who is always calm, cool, and collected. The one who, apparently, according to Black—though why I am even listening to his opinion anyway is a Mystery—is dull, dull, dull!

Well. It is certainly not my fault Black has decided to use me as his scapegoat for All The Shite that has been in his life up to date. Thinks I don't know what he's trying to do, but he is wrong. Wrong!

More stomping.

Black thinks he can talk me up then throw me over like some regular, twittery young thirteen-year-old girl who doesn't know any better just because he bats his long brown lashes at me. Well, he is wrong! I have learned from my mistakes.

I am a Strong Woman now, and will not succumb.

I am worth more than a quick surrender anyway. I am meant to win. If I have to keep on repeating this fact to myself over and over, well, then so be it, but I will not fall for Black's games again. I know what he wants, and that is to humiliate me. Black gets joy from it somehow. The only reason I can see for this is because he is a sick, sick person and not meant to feel any mercy.

Honestly, Lucille can stuff it if she thinks she is going to be of a help with her lectures and her isms. I do not need Idealism. I need a Fortitude Draught. You want to be some help, Lucy?

Why don't you help me kill Sirius Black?

When I am staring at the magical bonfire that is his Crematory Grave, that is when I will know that I have been helped. Not before.

The Great Hall.

Woke up incredibly tired and angry. Had Severe Insomnia, and just could not sleep well. In result, I am up with the metaphorical sun (metaphorical because this is Scotland), and down to breakfast at the unheard of hour of 0630 with Tamara. I can't even remember if I got up this early for Quidditch on Sunday.

My body feels that an hour of sleep has been cruelly snatched away and it is refusing to cooperate fully in the Motor Function Department.

I am surprised I made it down safe here actually without having had my legs lock up on me, resulting in an ignominious and tragic fall down the Grand Staircase. But really, there is nothing else to do. At least if I am out of bed, there is a chance my thoughts will get redirected from Black.

"Thanks for coming down with me!"

"No problem," I said, giving Tamara a sleepy smile. In complete contempt to her condition, Tamara had awoken even before me. "Had nothing better to do. Plus this means that I can quiz you on Muggles!"

"Cool," said Tamara.

"But, uh, before we get to that," I said. "Why don't we talk about Anthony? He's a nice boy, isn't he?"

Tamara giggled. "Don't you call him 'Featherbutt'?"

I grimaced. "Yes, I do. But I'm trying to be polite. Convincing?"

Tamara shook her head. "Sorry. But maybe I know you too well?"

"Maybe you do. So tell me about Anthony." Jesus, his name felt like ash on my tongue. One more male to get in a snit about. Surprise. "Does he treat you good? How did you guys get together?"

"He treats me very good!" Tamara said. "He carries my books to class for me and opens doors and everything. He's a true gentleman!"

"Where is Mr. Perfect now?" I wondered, though not out of any real interest to see Featherbutt. I only wanted to make sure he was not anywhere nearby. "Shouldn't he be sitting with you? Sharing a slice of ham and fish over breakfast, and all that? A good boyfriend would slice up your fish for you."

Tamara's nose wrinkled. "I hate fish for breakfast!" she said passionately.

I nodded. "Yes, too slimy for a morning meal, I agree."

"Yea."

I looked at the food. No need to not put it into my stomach now or worry about my weight. If anything, I was determined to repel Black. "So, uh, seriously…" I picked up a strip of bacon and started chewing. "How dih the choo of oo get toge…ther? I'm curious."

Tamara laughed at my lack of manners. "Well, we both have Care of Magical Creatures," she said.

"But he never talks to any girls."

"Right. I know." Here, Tamara paused to let out another giddy giggle. Due to the extreme pitch of it, I figured she had been holding it in for far too long and a release was all for the better. "He's so handsome!"

"Um…"

"Don't you think?"

"Absolutely! Dim Diggory can't even compare!"

"You know," said Tamara, "Stuart doesn't like it when you call him that."

"I forgot we like to talk to Stuart in Divination," I murmured.

Tamara looked confused by my use of pronoun. "But you don't have Divination, Evie! Or at least, Cammy and I haven't seen you in there. Do you just not go to class? You shouldn't do that!" Tamara informed me seriously. "Lucy says your study habits are already 'below par'…"

I let Tamara drone on as I watched Black enter The Great Hall, Potter and Pettigrew trailing in beside him. In that moment, it really was like everything else got washed out in some sepia-toned reactionist art nightmare. I probably should not be focusing all my attention on Black right now, but Merlin, is it hard not to. He just looks so ridiculous walking. Strutting in like that, like he's at some Muggle Disco Contest about to go out on the floor and wow the judges. Smiling smarmily at every female in attendance. Winking at a precious few (and oh how their sighs disgust me). And flicking back his black hair like he is The Hottest Thing Ever, God's Gift To Women.

Pathetic. It is pathetic, and it is putting me off my food. I shoved my plate away.

Now see him smile widely at me like he did not just get the verbal lashing of his life from McGonagall last night. Like he did not just kiss me, and try to have his wicked way with me against a wall, and did not get his arse handed to him as a result.

Hmm. Maybe his memory is faulty?

"Raisin."

"Arsehole," I greeted, unable, unable to control my frown. "Back for more?"

"What are you referring to?" Black said. "More of what? If the answer is more of your delightful company, then yes, I am!" His friends snickered. "Can I sit down?"

"No."

"Oh, do sit down!" Tamara encouraged, trying to nudge me to move farther down the bench. "There's plenty of room!" I stared at Tamara in befuddlement. After all our dorm talks even she could not fail to understand that I did not want Black near me during off-hours.

"Tamara—."

"Thank you," Black said, helping Tamara make room. "Budge up there, Raisin! Three strapping boys, about to sit down! Need our space, we do. You can't hog everything."

"Boys aren't allowed!" I said, making up the rule on the spot, though honestly, it sounded aces. "And unfortunately, there's no time anyway…alas…is there, Tamara? She and I were just about to head to The Library for a review. She has an exam in Muggle Studies. Very Important."

"And how can you be any help, then?" Black threw back at me. "Your blood's as pure as anything. What, you're going to wow her with your amazing knowledge of motorbikes and automated good-time dolls?"

Potter and Pettigrew burst into the kind of super-annoying laughter only boys can make. "Syrupy, you're making me blush. Stop it."

Potter snorted for good measure. "As much as I want to question you on that—."

"Don't," Black advised.

"And as much fun as this is, Padfoot, watching you and your little side project trade barbs—."

"What?" I said. I blinked, thoroughly insulted. "Excuse me? Side project, Black?"

Black frowned at Potter. "Nice job, Prongs!"

"What do you want me to do, Padfoot? I'm not being nice to her for you. I don't like you that much."

"You really do have the best of friends!" said. "It's remarkable. Birds of a feather, they flock together, I guess."

"Anyway," Potter said, pretending that he hadn't heard me. "Petey and I are going to go sit down and eat. Have a fun chat, Sirius."

Unfortunately, I felt bereft out of Potter's company. Like a kid on leaving day for Hogwarts, being abandoned by her silly and neglectful relatives; she wants them gone, sure, but the world away from them is an even scarier and stranger place.

Black took advantage of my preoccupation and quickly took a hold of my elbow, pulling me off the bench.

I gave him a look meant to convey my sheer disgust and miscomprehension of the way he was currently acting. "Um?"

"If you'll excuse us," he said to Tamara, who looked on with mouth open. "Raisin and I have some unfinished business. What?" He glowered down at me. "Do you have a problem?"

"Do you have a problem? Why are you dragging me off? Regressed to cave-man tendencies today, have we?"

"Oh, shut up."

"Ouch, Black."

"Excuse us," he said again to Tamara, with a funny little bow.

"That was almost polite! If it weren't for that fact that you're being unconscionably proprietary I would think McGonagall had finally gotten to you last night."

"You would, would you?"

"But since I know better. Mr. Grabby McGrabby-Hands…" Here, I very stubbornly started dragging my feet. However, most unfortunately, Black was stronger and taller; despite my height and weight, he did not look like my struggles were affecting him at all. "Black! Honestly! We are in a public place! Stop it!"

"All the better that it's public. It'll cow you down."

We reached our destination (a little used corner of The Gryffindor Table, right in front of The Doors), and I was seated with all the pomp befitting a slave on market day; that is, none at all—I was thrown down carelessly into my seat. Not really interested in making more of a scene, I allowed it.

"This is mad," I said. "I know you're practicing for when you get a wife and want to smack her around, Black, but can't you be a little more gentle? Or, in point of fact, use someone else? I have an aversion to breaking my bread with you, like the Old Days. I don't sit or eat with my enemies. In fact, I might sick up.'

Black sat down beside me. "Am I your enemy?"

I choked on my disbelief. "What are we, friends?"

"Well, sure, Raisin, we can be friends. Except I didn't know you cared that much."

"I don't care. I don't want to be your friend."

"What's all this anger about then?"

"I am acting as any human would when confronted with this sheer amount of bastardry."

Black smiled, unfazed. "Wow," he said. "You are so completely sexy when you use big words like that."

"I'm not all talk! If you touch me again, there's going to be a Blood Feud, I promise you."

"Whatever you want, dear, sure."

"I am not your 'dear,'" I replied, acid dripping. "I am not your 'love.' I am not your 'lovey.' I am not your 'darling.' And I am certainly not your…your repository for all the lustful impulses you have to unload!" Black snorted. "I am my own person, Black. I have my own mind. And not one inch of my skin will ever belong to you, so tell me, what am I doing here? Are we calling a 'truce' again? Because frankly, I am sick of all this waiting."

"Do you want to call a truce?"

"Honestly?"

Black nodded.

"Honestly, I want to duel you. But I am not in the mood to get expelled right now, so we'll have to come up with something else equally satisfying."

Black began giving me one of his leering looks. "Oh, really?"

"I am not having sex with you!" I said. "I'm just laying that out right now."

"I didn't think you would, Raisin."

"Oh, please. All the talk of me 'panting for it' and you didn't think I would? Please."

"You don't strike me as that kind of girl." Black shrugged. "If I'm wrong however, feel free to, uh, prove me wrong."

"I do like it when you're wrong!" I said thoughtfully and Black straightened. "But, no, Black. I am going to have to say 'no'. As much as your offer tempts me; makes me want to succumb to the Dark Side. As much as I'd like to risk the censure of my parents, professors, best friends, and general health of my sexual organs, I am going to have to say 'no.' Sorry."

"Pity. You sound scared, though. And you're flushing!" Black looked delighted by this. "Raisin! I think you really do want me to do something! You're more affected than you're letting on! Tell me, why are you lying to me?"

"You caught me," I said, lifting my hands. "I want you. Like really bad."

"Don't be such a chicken, Raisin. Take the plunge for once."

"Grow up!" I returned. "Learn some respect and decency! You can send me an owl when you've thought it over. Otherwise, I guess I'll see you tonight for tutoring." I patted Black's cheek and then I just got up and walked away, knowing Black and the rest of The Hall were staring after me.