Sparklyshimmer2010 - Well in this one, pun totally intended. LOL I can just image Ronon going on a hunting trip through Atlantis, glaring and growling and demanding to know where his blaster is. LOL. Ok, now I'm laughing too. Just the image of Evan walking around growling angrily as he tried to hide his, um...reaction to the viagra. Just hope he had a jacket or towel or something. LOL! Thank you, I'm glad you loved it.

This one is also supposed to be pretty cute. And honestly, I think it belongs in another fiction I'm writing, John's Really Bad Days, but I have a different idea for him getting shot in the ass in that story, soooo...

Charlie Blue - It seemed like the perfect way for Elizabeth to get some revenge, and honestly, I don't see her either just getting angry and yelling, or sitting back and taking it. Funny thing is, he left Teyla out of it, but went after Ronon the big hulking Satedan. Hmm... LOL.

Here's the next chapter, another one that should get at least a smile. And if you like puns, you have to check out Negolith's Hot Crossed Buns.

Disclaimer : I DON"T OWN ANYTHING! If I did, it would be mandatory for all the guys to walk around shirtless on Atlantis, and they would NOT have cancelled the show at 5 (or is it 6?) seasons!

ENJOY!

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Colonel Smart Ass.

That's really what I should start calling him, in private, at least. Public, probably not such a good idea, but private... Well, the name suited him. You should see him when he gets going with Rodney, or some of his comments to his enemies.

I still had the feed of him speaking to our prisoner Wraith, way back when we first came to Atlantis. When we first caught an actual Wraith. I couldn't help but want to look back, the idea the Wraith were so terrifying back then, and how John came up and spoke cockily to him. He was such a smartass.

I think...that's one of the things I enjoy the most about John. Watching him banter with Rodney. Rodney was actually considered a genius and fairly good at being a smartass, but John was up there with the best of them.

No matter what situation.

If it was a good, calm time, those smart ass moments seemed to flow every couple of minutes, usually in a joking sense. In a more harried time, or when John was in a bad mood, it was more crisp and blunt, usually meant more as vicious insults. Then, even when things were grim, he still managed to pull these comments out of nowhere, for comic relief, maybe?

Now, he'd never really been much of a smart ass with me. Oh, sure, he had his moments, but it wasn't that often, or as severe. Probably because he was all too aware I was easy going to a point, but I was also the base commander, and if he crossed the line, I could have him demoted to Private before he could blink.

Rodney, not so much. He could be a smart ass, he could be nasty, he could complain, but he couldn't actually get John in trouble, and that was the problem. John was all too aware of that fact.

They're always at it!

I wasn't even in the infirmary, not two hours after John had been found and was being treated and I could already hear him and Rodney going at it. I really don't want to think about that, though, as John is "Supposed to be resting."

They all looked over at me and I raised an eyebrow at John, who had the sense to look a little sheepish.

"Ah, there you are, Elizabeth." Rodney walked over to my side. "I was just telling the Colonel how it was finally nice not being the only one to have been shot in the ass with an arrow."

I nodded, having already picked up that much.

"And it hurts, Rodney, yes, I know. You don't need to keep reminding me."

"Oh, it hurts?" He was obviously mocking John, trying to pull an innocent tone and expression. Still, there was a small sense of worry behind his eyes, and he frowned.

I frowned, too, certain Carson should have given John something for the pain by now. He was lying on his stomach, covered by a sheet, but I could see a small blood stain on the curve of his backside. Quickly, I looked away, realizing I was staring.

"Oh I don't know. Why don't you come here, I'll stab you with the arrow, and you tell me if it hurts." John put in with a glare, even though his tone was easy going, as if he was talking about the weather.

Smart ass. See?

"No thank you. Been there, done that, got the scar."

"Oh really?" I watched him turn to me. "And all I got was the lousy t-shirt." I saw John open his mouth to say something and realized that, what I just said could have been taken a number of ways. Clearing my throat, I looked at him pointedly. "Don't mind me for butting in, Colonel..." I grinned as he rolled his eyes and shook his head with a groan. "Is the pain rearing it's ugly head?"

Ronon and Rodney grinned almost evilly, and I began to feel bad, wondering if I'd given them too much ammunition. Teyla looked lost, thankfully, but I had a feeling that with those boys, she'd pick it up sooner, rather than later. "I'll call Carson to get his ass over here and give you some pain medication." I told John with a small smirk before turning and leaving.

For a moment, I hesitated outside Carson's door, wondering if I wanted to stick around to see John as loopy as Rodney was, when he'd been shot in the ass with an arrow, and then drugged. Part of me knew that if I did, I'd probably never stop laughing, or let him live it down, and I did have important work to be done. After informing Carson of John's condition and requesting pain medication other than morphine, I headed off to my office, formulating several common comments I could make, to remind John of...this predicament.

Hey. He's not the only smart ass on Atlantis.

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Hope you like it.

Ok, the puns were ideas I got from 'Hot Crossed Buns', by Negolith. They just seemed to fit.

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi