Harry had had a heavy day, the surveillance with Dave had actually been productive and they had identified three leading male suspects and linked them to suppliers coming and going. At least the continuous activity had meant she hadn't had to make conversation with Dave. Harry had nothing against him; he was a regular guy who seemed to like football, the pub and weird films and at least Dave had got the idea that asking about Dempsey was a no-go area which was more than Fry had worked out.
Watson had been sweet, showing her more of the forensic side of things and asking for her help. She didn't like to be idle because her mind had time to remember and worry. Whilst she didn't mind remembering she knew that worry was pointless, distracting and potentially dangerous. Watson accepted her help of writing up his reports, but it only half helped. Harry simply missed the complaining to James that he should be doing his half of the desk work and she missed correcting the Americanisms he consistently used.
It had been an early start getting into position before there was any activity, necessitating getting up at 5.00am, that following a series of nights working late meant that Harry had decided to call it a day not long after 9.00 in the evening. She had cooked herself supper and done her laundry, wondering what it would be like to live with James; as it was she was the one who took glasses and mugs out to the kitchen, although he had been known to wash up after she had cooked dinner for them both. The wet towel on the bathroom floor was another thing; yes she could imagine the arguments paralleling their heated discussions on leg work and desk work. She resisted the temptation to play the Foreigner tape she had brought back from Dempsey's last week when she had gone over there. How could she show him what love is when she was stuck here in the UK and he was in witness protection in the US? She didn't even know if he had been given the tape she'd left for him. Her intention had been to place it under his pillow knowing he would find it; he slept with his right hand tucked under the pillow, a trait she had noticed from the times he slept on her sofa and smiled to see when she woke next to him in bed. She had been forced to leave it in an envelope asking Sophia to get it too him somehow. Sophia had told her she had given it to Eddie; Eddie had in fact gone out and brought a walkman and presented that with the tape inside it. He had witnessed Dempsey's face light up as he listened to it whilst waiting to be called back into court; he watched him hit the rewind and play button repeatedly, almost obsessively and saw his eyes glaze as the tears brimmed along his lower eyelids.
The miles seemed unbridgeable, each day an eternity; that is if you can have more than one eternity, Harry decided you could. As she cooked she had played the new tape that arrived just three days ago. She had known it was from him, the lack of traceable sender and absence of accompanying message spoke volumes about the intolerable situation they found themselves in.
I may not always love you
But long as there are stars above you
You never need to doubt it
I'll make you so sure about it
God only knows what I'd be without you
If you should ever leave me
Though life would still go on believe me
The world could show nothing to me
So what good would living do me
It was at this point she had burst into tears, 'God only knows what I'd be without you' She felt such devastation, had she been right 3 months ago when she had decided that walking away was better than watching him get shot? Was this worse? When she had said she would rather they spent some time together than none at all she really hadn't envisioned that being a mere five days. She kicked the sofa, damn, damn, damn why hadn't they given into their feelings long ago.
She had spent so long convincing herself that Dempsey hadn't meant anything when he had messed around, talking about bed, or sex, or even the conversations about caring for her. If only one of them had been honest… Simone had provided them with an opportunity to talk… what had they agreed? That she had a big mouth and each had denied that she had said anything when blatantly she told each of them that the other cared very much.
What had Simone said? He was comfortable with her, that she could imagine them, their house, their garden, their kids… And when they had met her that night in New York again she had been so generous in her delight that they were dating. It must have been hard for her to give up Dempsey to someone else, she told Harry she had known it was over even before he had come to London in her heart but facing reality was a hard thing to do.
In fact Dempsey had refused to meet up with Simone before even though his mother had said she had her contact number but he felt happy to see her now that he knew where he stood with Harry.
Dempsey had arranged for them to meet Simone in a bar, and as soon as they walked through the door a loud voice rang out embarrassingly over the whole floor
"You two made it then, I knew you would" She had hugged both Harry and James; both of them smelt the alcohol on her. Dempsey shrugged Harry interpreted it as 'what the hell'.
Skipping court for a couple of hours the next afternoon Harry had enjoyed her shopping afternoon with Simone; trying on amazing outfits she had persuaded Simone to accept a blouse as a gift. Simone had helped Harry buy a few small gifts for people back home. For a brief moment lost in her memories Harry actually managed to smile to herself as she recalled Simone suggesting a New York whisky glass to go with the bourbon for Welsh! She had puzzled over whom Simone meant until she twigged it was Spikings.
Regrets weren't helpful but right now the self indulgence they afforded enabled the tears to keep trickling silently down her cheeks as she washed up.
Harry looked out through the kitchen window, it was dark now and she should close the blind. The repeat play on the tape meant she could hear the words
I may not always love you
But long as there are stars above you
You never need to doubt it
I'll make you so sure about it