Your Mortal
By Morgan, Alix, Lainie, Emmie, and Caitie.
A/N: This is a parody of My Immortal. Feel free to flame, we're just making fun. This chapter was written by Emmie and Morgan and edited by Alix yet posted on Caitie's account.
My name is Amethyst Dold'rum Maggot Insa'nity Monster Madden. I got my name because of my magical eyes that are purple and my dark personality. I also like Monster, so I put it in there for sport. I am not related to Joel or Benji Madden but I wish I were, because they are hotties with naughty bodies and I want to make out with them. Yes, I know that is incest but deal with it, okay?
So I am fifteen and I am a vampire, by the way. I like to eat Frosted Flakes with blood because I am a vampire. I go to Hogwarts School in England, where everyone has a hot accent and either you are gothic or preppy. There are pretty much two kinds of people in this world; gothic and preppy. There are also the people who separate the world into two kinds of people and the people who don't.
I think I am the former of the two since I don't separate the two kinds of people, I know there are two kinds of people.
So it's my first day at Hogwarts right now. I am in Slytherin, fifth year. I am getting on the train when I bump into a guy with black hair and lots of eyeliner and black lipstick. "Hey, watch where you're going, you stupid freak!"
"You watch it, you smelly tortoise!" We stop and stare into each other's eyes for a minute. I think it's true love. I think he thinks so too. Or he's constipated.
"Who are you?"
"Amethyst. You?"
"Draco Malfoy."
Draco… hm. What a sexy name. I think I'll sex him on our first date. He's soo attractive! I wonder if he thinks I'm hot, too. I'm not a ho, just so you know.
"You're hot, Amethyst. What house are you in?"
"I'm in Slytherin. You?"
"Slytherin."
We both grin at each other and laugh. In walks a few other people, who will change names by the sentence.
"Hi, I'm Pansy but you can call my Pot." Pot! That's such a nickname to get from Pansy!
"Hi Petunia," I say to her. "Hi Blake." I know his name and I've never met him!
"I'm Skeleton, I'm not in any of the Harry Potter books, but a total Mary Sue of an original character. I like death, heavy metal music, and I am totally attractive."
"Really? We have so much in common!" I reply, happy to see that he has brought me wine, even though we're both way too young to drink. I wonder why I've never met any of these people when I've lived with them for the past five years.
I can tell we're going to have a great year.
Rate and review, guys. New chapter coming soon! Be sure to check out Alix's story called Secrets of Eternity if you like Twilight!
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-Keep reading and telling us what you think!
Note: It was meant to be a parody. It was meant to sound stupid. We know. Just tell us what aspect you hated/loved/laughed about/killed, not how much you did so. Unless you want to.