So, we go on! Thank you, my reviewers and I apologize for taking my time – been real busy! Also, The Dark Knight was one of the best movies I've ever seen! Not that it has something to do with this fic, though…
DISCLAIMER: DON'T OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS THAT YOU RECOGNIZE
Six Things That Never Happeed To The Justice League - 3
Vixen walked into the set where a very important photo session was about to be held. Her outfit on that hot summer day was a most unusual - she was wearing a trenchcoat, a baseball cap and big sunglasses. The heroine was immediately approached by the photographer, the make-up artist and basically her whole crew. They all started talking and attempted to begin their work. Slowly, Vixen took off her garments. First the glasses, then the cap and finally the trenchcoat. A loud "AHHH!" came from the little crowd and the make-up artist passed out. Mari's face as well as the rest of her body (at least, the visible part) was covered in multiple bruises, cuts and other unmistakble signs of a fierce battle. Her agent jumped forward and screamed: "Your other identity just killed us! Vixen just killed us! We are dead! Dead!" But Mari was not one to give up without a fight: "Well, what was I supposed to do? Let dozens of people die at the hands of a maniac?" Her agent paused for a second and then replied: "But you could have at least been more careful! If we don't have a social campaigne starring you by today's evening, we are dead! And in those conditions you really won't be able to promote the preservation of the deserts!" The P.R. specialist remarked weakly: "Rainforests…" "Whatever! Now we need a new campaigne and a new model!" The lawyer said then: "Our contract stipulates that Mari here is the face of the campaigne, only her and no-one else" The agent started to run around in circles over the set, followed by most of the crew, except the still-passed-out make-up artist and the supermodel/superheroine herself.
After five minutes of watching the manager, Vixen finally interrupted his jogging session. "I know what we can do…"
A couple days later, Vixen's beaten and slightly bloodied face, looking sad and defenseless, was plastered all across the cities. The slogan? "Stop domestic violence!"
Flash and Batman disagreed on many things, however, they did agree that this was the most warped up, disturbing and overall wrong alternate dimension ever. Heck, the Justice Lords were better than this. They could deal with alternate versions of themselves being evil dictators, but this was too much. Just too much… "THE BOOSTER GOLD LEAGUE", consisting of Booster Gold, Booster-man, Booster-Gold-Man, Booster-Gold-Girl, Booster-Woman, Green-Booster-Gold, Red-Booster-Gold and Alien-Booster-Gold with a lot of reserve "Booster" members, took care of protecting this reality from the evil "ANTI-BOOSTER-GOLD-LEAGUE" with members such as Anti-Booster-Girl, Booster-Silver, Doctor-Booster and, of course, the arch-nemesis, Anti-Booster-Gold. Their adventures took part in Boosterland, with cities such as Boostertown, Boosterville and Skeets-city. The streets in every single cities blinded with their combination of blue and gold, all people dyed their hair blond and every single product found in the stores was "Booster-pre-approved".
After leaving, they agreed to never bring up that nightmare again. Especially not in front of Booster Gold, who spend a good two months trying to figure out why, whenever Flash or Batman saw him, they would immediately turn on the opposite direction with groans and if he tried to talk to them, they'd run. At least that gave Booster a reason to claim he was the most menacing superhero in the Justice League.
"The legacy of the Batman must go on… forever" And with it must go on all of its parts no matter how small or seemingly insignificant. Trust me, I know. It all started many years ago, when the Batman was still considered a criminal and chased around by the authorities.
On that night I was, as usual, taking the night shift in my little cafeteria and falling asleep from boredom. No clients would venture out at night in Gotham, but I still felt that a night shift was needed. Why? Perhaps it was fate… Anyway, he appeared just out of nowhere in front of the counter. He looked strange in the light, out of his element. I froze. Rumors about Batman, some of them very disturbing, had been flooding Gotham in that time. I was scared, but my fear was replaced by surprise as the Dark Knight placed a twenty-dollar bill on the counter and said in a more or less human voice: "A cup of black and keep the change". The surrealism of the situation almost made me laugh, but he didn't look like the kind of man who would take that kindly. So I served him his coffee and he vanished in the blink of an eye.
I thought that was it, but next week he showed up again. And the week after that twice. He would come and go, sometimes disappearing for a while. But one thing stayed the same – a cup of black coffee with no sugar. Guess he wasn't very fond of change.
But I was proven wrong at least partially when the boy appeared. For the next few years he was a usual customer, his order always being a frappe and a chocolate muffin. The girl would show up often too, a cappuchino and a few cookies every time. I can't say I knew them well, although I'd give advice then asked, make small talk then needed and serve them the coffee they needed. I guess in a way I helped them a couple of times, not big time, but I like to think my coffee and my words were useful. They had helped me too – gave me money once when my kid was in the hospital and needed surgery. How they knew was beyond me. Also, I'm guessing they have supported my little cafeteria in some way, since it would have been an utter failure otherwise.
I suppose that I know a few things about the Bat-family that could be used against them. Such as the fact that Batman's new partner is his old partner or that Batgirl's father is a cop. But those are things I'll never tell. Why? Because I am a part of the legay of the Bat, a small perhaps, but an important one. At least, for them. I may not be a hero, I may not be a sidekick and I'm surely not a villain… I am just the Bat-coffee-guy!
SOMETIME IN THE FUTURE:
A figure clad in a black costume with a red emblem landed in front of the counter, as always coming from nowhere. The lovely young girl with a blue apron smiled at him: "Rough night?" The Batman replied: "As usual…" She immediately placed a cupn of steaming coffee with sugar and a few fruit muffins in a paper bag. "Here you go" He nodded, placed a twenty on the counter and vanished in a blink of an eye.
Zatanna was waiting outside of a museum, which would be robbed that night according to an anonymous tip. It was around midnight, but since the place was just in front of a highway, cars passed by every second.
The woman was rather tired – another mission had taken place earlier. So she leaned across a streetlight facing the main entrance. "Come on" – the magician muttered to herself: "If you want to rob it now would be a perfect time" Her annoyed thoughts were interrupted when a car pulled over by the streetlight. Inside were two men.
"Hello, baby. Waiting for some company tonight?" – one said in a suggestive tone. The second one added: "Love your suit, honey. I 'll pay you an extra fifty for it. What d'ya say?" It took Zatanna a shamefully long time to realize what exactly the men were talking about. When she did, her face filled with colour as the woman started yelling: "What is WRONG with you? Can't you see I'm a Justice League member? I'll sue you for this, no, turn you into frogs! Yeah, that's right!"
"So, tell me again, Zatanna, what exactly happened?" Supeman really hated these meetings and even more he hated to put members on probation. "You were assigned to keep safe a museum, but got sidetracked, which resulted in a priceless sculpture getting stolen." The magician just sighed. "And to make it worst, two frogs in a car were found in the crime scene" Zatanna tried not to look pleased with herself and replied: "All you have to do to reverse the spell is kiss them. Nothing else" As Supeman processed this information a disgusted expression appeared on his face. Zatanna walked out of the room, knowing she had gotten suspended. Maybe she would use the time for a costume change. After all, it was not the first time something like that had happened.
"What is this?!" – Stargirl burst into the conference room, completely outraged. She was closely followed by Vigilante, Doctor Light, Fire and Ice, who appeared to be furious. Slightly behind were S.T.R.I.P.E.S. and Shining Knight, both looking embarassed and unsure on whether they should be there or not. Stargirl was carrying something that she smashed into the table with all her might.
The seven founding members stared at it for a while before noticing that the object was in fact a Barbie doll. A Barbie doll clad in a Stargirl costume. "What the h…" –she glancecd back and corrected herself, - "What on Earth is this?" Superman got up, looking embarassed, but before he got a chance to say anything, three other Barbies, two Kens and a robot/accessory-toy were smashed into the table as well. "We just kinda needed…erhm… to promote our image. You know.. make our less known heroes more popular" After that slight tactical mistake, a shower of loud complaints, threats and inquirings rained on the Man of Steel. "They got my colours wrong! Can you believe that?" – complained Ice, while Fire raged about female rights and integrity. Doctor Light was mad because she wasn't asked about it and she would have gladly agreed with Fire, if the Brazilian superheroine hadn't been raging on her native tongue. Vigilante was furious since Barbie dolls were "girl's toys" so they might give the "wrong idea"out to his fans. Shining Knight thought little replicas of him were rather demonic and S.T.R.I.P.E.S. was trying to stay polite as he wondered why, exactly, he had been cathegorized as a Stargirl accessory. Stargirl herself had started yelling at Superman things about his cousin and about how she was not a less of a hero than Supergirl. The unfortunate hero tried to explain, while the other six members didn't look eager to deal with their angry comrades. Finally, Batman had enough.
A bat-a-rang wheezed through the room, emiting a high, unpleasant sound that made everyone go quiet. "One, you signed a contract, so this is legitimate. Two, you ARE less known heroes. And three, you each will get two million dollars a month out of this" – the Dark Knight said in his usual expressionless voice. After a long pause Stargirl picked up her Barbie and said: "Well, it's not that big a deal" All the others, but Shining Knight agreed with and left the room, sir Justin being dragged of by Vigilante. "Now, next on our agenda…The Justice Plushies?"
Flying over New York, Superman, as always, had his superhearing up in order to pick up trouble, sometimes even before it arose. A particularly high pitched voice drew his attention: "Rachel, this light bill is outrageous. I told you to take the Christmas lights down weeks ago!" The Man of Steel chuckled a little, since June was closing in. "Very well, Monica. I'm taking the lights down right now!" - "No, Rache, wait, it's slippery" – "Aaah!" The kryptonian sighed and in a second the unfortunate woman was back on her balcony. "You should be more careful, miss" – he said with his shining smile to her and her roommate shocked faces. "Aha…" – answered the one he had saved, a rather pretty young woman with a nice tan, while the other one, black haired and pale, said: "Sure…" "Well, have a nice day, ladies" – with those word he took off and the last he heard of the two women was: "Wait 'till we tell the guys we saw Superman!"
Heh, heh, heh… An easy guess, but whoever can tell me the last crossover gets a virtual cookie! And, yes, I know it's impossible but it was kinda fun! Anyway, I expect your reviews and opinions… See ya!