Hey Guys! I didn't like where the story was heading, so I rewrote this chapter and perfected it! Thanks to xoxsars1731, cherryblossoms123456, and browneyes13 for reviewing for the older chapter!
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight
Three Years Later
Time passes, even when it seems impossible. Living through each day with no hope, no reason is simply impractical. Three years with only the memory of happiness and love stabs into my heart. Whoever said "It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" is plain stupid. I have loved. I have lost. Yet everyday seems to be getting worse and worse.
I see her everywhere. On the streets. In a crowd. Even when I was in that damn mental institute, she was there with me. Only glances of her though. I know it was never her really. It was just "my mind wanting to see her so bad, I actually do see her," as the doctors told me. They nearly put me into solitary confinements when I told them about the angel I saw. "Hallucinations," they said.
But I know better. It was her. She wanted to say goodbye to me before she had to fly up to Heaven where she could watch me from above. She kept coming back every once in a while to make sure that I was doing okay. I would feel her presence. But I would turn and she wouldn't be there. It's okay though. I knew she was there.
I actually knew it was her only once after the time in the prison. I was asleep and I felt soft, cold finger gently running through my hair like she used to do. Half asleep, I pushed my head into her hands more like a puppy does when it wants to be scratched on its head. I heard an angel sobbing and sleepily groped around to find her frigid hand. When I couldn't find it, I opened my eyes to find my room completely empty. I guess she had to return to Heaven.
Jasper and Emmet are up there with her. After my "suicide attempt," I was brought back to America where I could get "help." They had to stay in the prison. Not even a year after I left, the War of Independence broke out. When Israel declared itself a state, all the surrounding countries attacked.
Jasper and Emmet fought. They died. Their bodies buried in the sand of the Negev Desert, only a memorial as their gravestones.
But they wouldn't tell me they died, the doctors. I was released and went home to Chicago to discover my best friends died nearly a year ago. My mother almost sent me back to the mental institution by the way I reacted. But I convinced her otherwise.
Just like I convinced the doctors that I was better.
Of course I had to lie and say I was better. I was never going to be released if I kept talking about seeing that angel and feeling her presence everywhere. So I just stopped talking about it. I pretended that I was better so I could get out of there. And it worked.
I've been home for half of a year. My mother kept pressuring me to go back to high school to finish my last year there. But I can't face anyone in Chicago. Too familiar. So I am going to an entirely different place. Somewhere no one knows about: Forks, WA. I can finally be in a place without getting those pity looks everywhere I look.
A fresh, new start.
Forks, Washington, the greenest, wettest place in the Continental U.S. Such a change from the desert Israel and the windy Chicago. The newer the better, at least.
So I thought. This place is the smallest town I have ever seen in my life! If my past gets out somehow, it is going to be all over town in a matter of minutes!
"Hey," a girl behind me says in what is supposed to be a sexy voice. "I'm Jessica. Are you new here?"
I guess sitting down on the picnic bench in front of the school was not a good way to start the new school year. With a barely legal slut standing in front of me, I spat harshly, "Yeah, I'm new and out of your league." Hmm, maybe the doctors were right. Anger management. I sat up and walked away from this Jessica, and silently hoped never to cross her again.
The rest of the day continued like this. Girls, and some guys, hitting on me and I rudely turned every single one down. My heart belongs to an angel anyway. Classes came and passed. I could have slept through some of them, but I know what happens when I sleep. A shudder passes through me even when I think about it.
Lunch. Finally. I practically run out of my Spanish class to get away from the brainless, flirtatious teacher. And I thought the students were bad. I walked into the lunch room and realized, where the hell and I going to sit? Who would want to sit with a 22 year-old in high school? I signed up to get my high school credits, not to deal with the awkwardness of it.
I grabbed an apple and some pizza and sat at an empty table in the back, concentrating on the food in front of me and not the stares and whispers surrounding me. Soon enough, two girls, by the looks of their shoes, stood in front of my vacant table. I looked up and saw two sickly, yet beautifully, pale girls holding trays in front of me. One of them was short with even shorter, spiky hair that made her seem pixie-like. The other one I would have said was the most beautiful girl in the world if I had not met my gorgeous angel. She had long, blonde hair and opened her red lips, "We're going to let it slide this one time, but if you sit at our table again, I'm afraid that pretty little face of yours if going to be pummeled to pieces."
Wait, what? Did this girl just threaten me? Both me and the pixie had our mouths open wide until the girl spoke up, "Rosalie, that's no way to treat the new kid." Her voice sounded like bells ringing sweetly. Ah, now this is a singer. "Besides, he's much older than us and could use some friends." Wait, how did she know I was older than her?
She sat down next to me and stuck her small hand in my face. "My name's Alice. I am a senior here and it is a pleasure meeting you!"
I almost felt a smile tug at my face from her enthusiasm. "Edward." I murmured. I shook her hand and flinched at the cold. I've only felt hands this cold once, and it was my angel's hands.
"Sorry," she giggled. "It is absolutely freezing in here! Just wait until the winter. Brrr…Oh! This is my sister Rosalie." I glanced up at the blonde still standing in front of me. She was shooting death glares at me and I knew she was thinking of ways to kill me. "We're not technically sisters, but close enough. We're adopted. We have two brothers and a sister too! I can't wait until you…"
She stopped short before she could say another word and stared out into space. Rosalie slammed her tray down on the table, bringing Alice back into the present. Alice glanced up to Rosalie and back to me fearfully. "Um, well, it was very nice meeting you, Edward." She said quickly and picked up her tray as quick as she could and left.
Before I could even process what just happened, another tray hit the table and someone sat down across from me. "Hey, man. I'm Mike. How did you get Rosalie Hale and Alice Cullen to talk to you? I've been trying since last year and nothing. How'd you do it?"
Great, another talker. I sighed and just told him that I just sat here and did nothing. He blabbered on some more and I continued to eat my lunch. Forks is such a weird place.
The bell rang, finally, and everyone started heading back to their classes. I walked with Mike as he kept talking when I saw Rosalie again. She looked around to see if anyone was watching her and slowly turned the corner into an abandoned hallway.
I ditched Mike and followed her silently. I peeked my head around the corner and saw her talking to a huge guy. Seriously, huge. He was about the size Emmet used to be. His back was turned from me and I heard Rosalie whisper harshly, "He's here."
The man whispered something back unintelligible and Rosalie said in response, "No, baby. We're going to have to leave. We can't tell him! We'll tell her and she'll insist we have to leave. It's better for him to not know. I'm sorry."
She pulled the man into a deep kiss and a hug after. Her eyes snapped open and saw me watching them. Frightened, I scrambled to get away from the scene and dashed madly to my next class, Music.
Glancing over my shoulder to make sure she wasn't following me, I started walking normally now and tried desperately to find my class, which I was five minutes late for. Great.
I found the classroom and heard a tune playing from inside the room. I respectfully waited outside the room for the song to finish. It is rude to interrupt when someone is playing.
Except the familiar music notes sounded all too familiar. And the chords. My usual silent heart beat began to pump with adrenaline.
I recognize this song. Actually, I recognize my song.
The song that I never played again after that night with the rabbi. Memories washed over me and unwanted tears clouded my vision.
Flashback
I was sleeping again. That much I knew. I opened my eyes and saw Jasper with a pained look in his eyes. He was touching my stuff. Putting them in boxes. "Jasper?" I croaked. It is still so hard to talk.
He looked up at me and I saw tears in his eyes. "Edward. You are leaving. You are going back to America. It is too dangerous to keep you here. You need help."
The words did not register. He said I was leaving, but I didn't understand the word. Leaving? Leaving what?
Emmet walked into the room carrying a box full of papers. I saw they had my handwriting and my music notes on them.
"Emmet?" I croaked again. I began to question if I will ever be able to sing again. My throat just sounds so horrible.
"Hey Eddie!" He said with fake enthusiasm. "Sorry man. I know you hate it when people touch your music. But I didn't think you'd want to leave without it!" He smiled carefully, hoping that I wasn't upset for him touching my stuff.
But there was that word again. Leave. What did it mean?
I lifted up my bandaged arm, wanting to look at my music. Emmet's smiled faded somewhat when he saw my arm, but he quickly hided it and brought me my box of music. I scrambled through them, only caring about finding one song.
Where is it? Where is it? I kept repeating in my mind.
"Where's what?" asked Jasper. Damn. That was supposed to be in my head.
"My song. For…her. It was still on the piano." I grasped my throat. It hurt just to say those ten words.
Emmet looked confused. "Eddie, there was no music on the piano. All the music were in the folder, on the ground.
Anger consumed my body. I could feel myself shaking. "NO!" I yelled out. My throat was burning from the loud word. My hands frantically began ripping through the papers. "It is here. It is here." I kept telling myself.
Emmet grabbed the box of music out of my hands and I screamed. Jasper pinned down my hands to the bed that I didn't know were flying out of control. The prison doctor flew into the room with a syringe. He tried pinning me down too, but I was out of control. I was yelling. I was completely out of control. Edward was lost and a beast took his place. I was no longer Edward.
I stopped my scarring memory. I stopped thinking about it completely. Even thinking about that memory pained me. That was the last time I saw my best friends. Tears burned my eyes again.
A sweet angelic voice interrupted me. It wasn't just angelic. It was my angelic voice.
Feel the sunlight coming through
But I'm not ready to wake up, lose this feeling
My heart beat stopped completely. I held my breath. No, it can't be her. She can't actually be here. "Hallucination," the doctors said. She's. not. real.
Yet this voice was beautiful. Crystal clear and full of love. Her voice was naturally alluring. She filled me with warmth with only her voice, feeling completely familiar to me.
Another night of dreams
A place where we can meet
Finally, I can be myself with you
Tell you all the things I want to
Sunlight have a heart,
Leave me in the dark a little longer
I couldn't stand here in the hall waiting any longer. I knew it was my angel singing in there. I need to see her. My sweaty hand clutched the door knob and turned ever so slowly. The door didn't even creak when I opened it. I slipped in the room, keeping my eyes down. I allowed myself to look at the piano. I couldn't look at my angel sitting at the piano yet. Not yet.
Her hands played the notes perfectly. The tense chords I wrote specifically stabbed at me, twisting my insides and ripping them apart. I then felt the weird chord that followed the tense one. I felt as if something was missing. It was exactly how I imagined my angel to play it. But this wasn't her. It can't be.
Last night we took a walk
Down by the ocean
Darkness
Hiding us away
The angel played the piano again and I took the opportunity to look at her. I started from bottom up. She was wearing a light blue summer dress. It ended right above her knees, exposing her pale white legs. I felt a little easier. My angel never had skin that pale. I allowed my eyes to travel up. Her white hands were dancing over the piano, softly touching the keys, as if she were afraid they would break. My heart began slowly beating again. My angel was never this graceful enough to play piano like this. She would always push the keys with more roughness than I expected. I would always scold her for being rude to my piano.
Well the sky began to change
And I was helpless
You were
Fading
The woman's sleeves ended at her elbow and fit her figure perfectly, as if she was made for this dress. I let my eyes drift very slowly towards her neck. Her dress had a scoop neck, exposing some cleavage that was inevitable. No necklace hung around her neck. Her natural beauty did not need any shiny objects to attract attention. Again, her paleness shocked me.
Nothing I could do but sigh
Meet you in my dreams the next time
Sunlight have a heart,
Leave me in the dark a little longer
I bravely let myself look at her hair, skipping over her face completely. Her mahogany hair matched my angel's completely: full of life and highlighted naturally. She wore no jewelry in her ears. I gulped, and braced myself to look at her face. But I knew what to expect.
I drew in a sharp breath when I saw her face. Flawless. Perfect. Innocent. Her face itself left me breathless with air I didn't have to begin with. Big, golden eyes, completely different from my angel's eyes. But they were wide, filled with curiosity and love, just as her's was. Her lips were full and red and perfect. Her cheeks were as pale as the rest of her body. I half expected a blush or a natural redness to it, but I knew better. Angels don't blush. Her eyes met my gaze.
She started me down, unafraid. She seemed in a daze, as if she expected me there. She began singing to me. Only me.
Maybe when the winter comes
Days and nights will blend into one
Cold December snow
Leave me alone
A little longer.
I stood in the same position I was when I walked in, yet I felt as if I was in a completely different place with her eyes upon me. She smiled sweetly, just like she always smiled to me. She closed her beautiful eyes and lost herself in the music. I could hear her humming along with the piano. She played the last chord and let her flawless fingers drift there, happily humming along with it.
So free. So innocent. So unaware of everything around her. Just like my angel.
The notes drifted into the air and finally were lost. But everyone remained silent, anxiousness strangled the air waiting for something to happen. And it did.
I ran. I ran as fast as I could to my angel. I half expected her to disappear. Her hands reluctantly lifted from the piano keys and she smiled sweetly, eyes still closed.
I was unaware of the entire class watching me. I was only aware of the angel I believed was dead before me. How could I believe she was gone? I slowly took her hand. I was shocked how cold it was. Freezing in fact, just as Alice's were. My angel opened her eyes in shock and saw me standing before her. Her gaze softened. I pulled her up off the piano bench. I held her cold face in my other hand and brought her face to mine.
And I kissed my angel.
Aw, cute, right guys? Tell me if you like/love/hate/think I should go and burn my hands so I could never write another chapter again.... Just push that button under this! Not the purple one anymore. They completely threw me off by changing the review button!
And, I would like to thank certain anonymous reviewers for their thoughtful review sent 12/29/08. Their input was very different from what I have been getting. So, thanks to them, I sent an e-mail to Fanfiction Administrators complaining how guests to fanfiction are using anonymous reviews to express anti-Semitic, hurtful, and overall disturbing words to the authors. So, thanks to a certain "R.W. Reagan" and "John Eats", I have disabled anonymous reviews.
In conclusion, please review with CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM! Thanks!
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