I'm back, I'm fast, neh?

But the thing is, my friend is like; "If you update, too soon, no one would review." Therefore, I guess, I'm force/supposed to wait until there's a decent amount of reviews. I want to apologise to those who did review.

Also, those who had put me, on author alert, please drop by to leave me a note. Especially if you're an experience Fanfiction Author. Im just a beginer, I need guidance!

Also, I'm looking for someone to look over my work, please apply through the reviews. For example, in your review saying your qualifications and your aim. I'll try to reply to all of them, and maybe send them the next chapter first for them to reread. And the one i like the best would be the chosen one, i guess.

I look forward into working with one of you guys.

Anywhu, on with the story.

Disclaimer: CCS, not mine.

Subconsciously Stupid

Tomoyo's POV

I can't believe she's back, back to ruin my life. I acted like I didn't even know her, recognize her; all in hope that she wasn't really there.

Sakura Kinomoto, I met the girl at age 5. Our parents wanted us to go to kinder garden together. Their aim was for us to end up like them, childhood best friends. But things don't always work out like that, they should had given us a choice. Me a choice.

I remember my kinder garden days like it was yesterday. It all came back to me, ever since she first stepped into this house.

When I was little I attended two kinder gardens; the first was before I even knew Sakura Kinomoto even existed. It was great, even better; I was popular.

The girls admired my features, my skills; me. The boys wanted my attention, seeing the girls wanting my attention and this kept going on. The teachers could praise me for everything I did, parents wished they had me as a child, my mother couldn't have been prouder but all that changed, when she pulled me out of paradise and into hell.

At first I didn't care, I mean if I'm popular at one school, I'll just be more popular at the new one. The only way for my popularity to decrease is if I choose to not socialize, so no problem there; I'm definitely a sociable person.

But once again, things just don't work out that way.

I remembered, the first time, I met her.

……….Flashback…………………………………………………………………………

As soon as, mum and me left the airport; mum had hinted me to play with Sakura.

"So, it's Sakura, right?" I remember asking.

"Hai, but you can call me, Sakura-chan! Okaachan, said we're going to be the best of friends! Can I call you, Tomoyo-chan?" the now known girl, called Sakura replied.

"Errr, I guess. We have school tomorrow, don't we?" I couldn't wait to start school, again. I had missed out on a few days already.

"Yup, everyone would be so happy to have you as a friend, you're so pretty! I wished I had long hair like yours."

At this, I had grinned, I was expecting this, I was used to this. Play along.

"That would be good. Oh, and thank you. You're hair is nice too."

Sakura had smiled at the compliment, "Okaachan, had cut it for me!"

"Urm, Sakura. I actually have a question to ask you."

Sakura then turned her big round green eyes, to meet me. "Hai, Tomoyo-chan."

That was the first time; I saw such… such… such… green eyes.

"Are you popular at school?"

"Popular…popular, what do you mean, Moyo-chan?" the green eyes were then curious.

"Eh…you don't know what popular means? Well, urm, do the kids at school know you?"

I had struggled to define the meaning. But I then smirked at this, if Sakura didn't even know what popularity is, she can't be popular. Plus, you got to be very stupid, not to know if you're popular or not, when there are people surrounding you wherever you go. But then again, she's stupid enough not to know what, popular means, so maybe she is THAT stupid.

"Oh…I get you! Yeah, everyone at school knows my name! It means cherry blossom!"

Okay she may be that stupid.

I started to give her weird looks; I don't exactly want to be seen with her. Especially, at my first day at school, first impressions do and always count. I admit she's a bit pretty but pretty doesn't mean everything.

"Neh, Tomoyo-chan. Don't worry yourself over it too much! The other kids at school are really nice and friendly. I'll introduce you to my friends, too! They'll be you're friends in no time! And you'll always have me, I promise."

I had turned my head, she sounded pretty sincere. I was then met with an overwhelming smile; her smile was so bright; I then felt a smiled itching onto my lips. It wasn't just any smile. I can smile, smirk, grin; but this smile felt too…sincere. I stopped half way, which probably, looked weird. But who cares, she was the only one there.

She was still smiling; I finally managed to give her the raised-eyebrow. What? I looked down and noticed her, wiggling her pinky finger, did I promise her something?

"I didn't promise, you anything."

I heard sweet laughter ringing through my ears.

"Silly, Moyo-chan! I made a promise! You'll always have me."

"Oh, I knew that…" I had started. I felt annoyed, her calling me silly.

"I just wasn't sure, you were serious." Nice save.

She then, unexpectedly looped her pinky finger with mine.

"Of course, I'm serious!"

She then laughed again.

………End of Flashback …………………………………………………………

Yes, she might seem nice and all then, but that was the first time I met her.

She had also knew how to play. She made me believe that at school she wasn't popular at all. But she was. She was Ms. Popular.

Many claimed that she was so popular because of her cheerfulness, her prettiness, confidence, and supporting, courageous, etc personality. They also claimed that she was so popular and nice at the same time, not to even realize she was popular.

At many attempts, I tried to steal the place, she doesn't deserve it AT ALL. I mean she didn't even know she was getting special treatment! Every time I tried, I failed miserably. That was when I knew what "failure" truly meant, I didn't like it, I hated it. Failure brought along unhappiness, who likes to be unhappy?

I tried, outsmarting her at activities, subjects, everything. But whenever I succeed, she'll laugh, saying how stupid she was and how good I was. That was supposed to be it, no more. But then, all the other students would also laugh along and started to joke around with her, saying she wasn't stupid AT ALL. I mean, hello? She was so oblivious to the attention she's being given!

I even tried to secretly spread rumors about her around school. And with me, being her "best-friend" people aught to have believed me, right? But no, they believed Sakura more, they believed IN her!

Everyday, I had to "pretend" to be her best friend; it wasn't exactly the best feeling. Yes, people admired me, wanted to be me; but for the wrong reason. They wanted to be Sakura's best friend.

I remembered many times, when I went to the bathroom or to isolated places; people were talking about us. Sakura and me. The basic message was, I was her follower, her back-up, her shadow, a dog. It sometimes went as far as Sakura using me, to make herself look good/better. But, I choose not to believe it, it wasn't because I believe that Sakura was all innocent and pure and that. It was because I knew/thought that Sakura wasn't THAT smart. I guess I was wrong.

It was the day after Sakura's 10th birthday. For her birthday she had received a bear/lion stuff toy, home-made by her mother. She had named it Kero, a name that everyone thought was so cute and creative, puh-lease! Everyone seemed to be jealous. I didn't get it, it was just a toy. We were in grade 4, for heaven sakes! But that didn't stop Sakura from getting all the attention.

So, I guess, at that time I had tried another scheme; get the "main attraction" (Kero) off Sakura. I had cried, and I had cried, fake tears of course; being the brilliant child I was. At first, Sakura was struggling, deciding whether or not to give me the toy. So, I had turned it up a notch.

"Kura-chan! I am you're best-friend right? You said, you'll always be there for me, right? It's just a measly toy. It's just that, mum never made me, anything. I know your mum can make you something else, please!" I remembered whining. I should become an actress.

She then smiled, well that's what I thought but now that I think about it was probably a grin. That was the signal for the start of her plan. I should had known.

"Moyo-chan! That's the first time ever you'd called me, Kura-chan! I'm so you're right. You're my best friend, whatever is mine, is yours. Here, please take good care of Kero." With that she had handed over Kero. She was soo stupid.

That's what I had thought when she handed over the toy, so I stopped crying.

…………………………………

The following day, her plan had taken action. Everyone was against me, they resented me. I didn't know what was happening, Sakura acted like she didn't know anything either. I should have known better.

After school, I waved a good bye to Sakura, like usual. A group of people came up to me; they were the "IN" group. If you had them on your side, you were considered popular. I had them on my side, or so I thought. But then again, Sakura had everyone on her side.

"I heard you, made Sakura-san, cried." one had started.

"Well, you heard wrong." I had replied, I had to show them, who was superior. And when did I make her cry?

"I saw Sakura-san cried, she said it was YOUR fault. So don't even try the "innocent" act." The twin of the first had said.

Is this about the stupid bear/lion like toy?

Hearing that got me mad, she GAVE me that toy herself in the end; I didn't steal it from her. I won it fair and square. How could she?

"How do you know, she's not the one lying?" Wrong move, I definitely chose the wrong move. It was like asking, who would you choose, Sakura or me? The answer was clear, Sakura.

I was then pushed to the ground very harshly. I think that was the first time, someone had hurt me, well tried to hurt me. That was the first time, I felt scared. The biggest girl took a step forward and had grabbed a hold of my hair. It hurt.

"Sakura, lying? Who do you think you are? Just because you can fool Sakura, doesn't mean you can fool us. You're just using her. And don't think we'll let you. You're nothing but her "dog"." the first twin had said, he then laughed, his twin laughed, followed up by the rest of the group. The girl holding my hair finally released my hair. They were mocking me, the whole way as they left laughing.

It was all Sakura's fault. But it was also mine. I was stupid, stupid enough to believe that just because she's a dog who doesn't bark, she won't bite. Her bite had hurt, it had scarred me.

It had turned me, into the me, today. The more malicious, conniving me.

Oh, and the tables will turn. In my favor, of course. This is my territory.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

Sakura's POV

It was the night before school, I had made this decision before I came here, had it all planned during the plane ride and now, all I have to do is prepare.

Okaasan, had got me the uniform, but the uniform was wrong. I had rung the school earlier and had informed them, the incident. The uniform was too small. They said, I had to come in casual clothes and change into the replacements at school.

Well, I guess that's that.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

"HHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEE!!" I'm so late, bloody late.

I just thanked god, I had everything prepared last night. I did my hair in tight plaits, each on the side of my face. Put the clothes on which I prepared from last night. Lastly, the glasses. I was done.

I went down to get some breakfast, hoping I didn't wake anyone up with my morning wake-up call habit. I really needed to stop doing that. It was a good thing Tomoyo wakes up earlier than me. But I better stop, nonetheless.

But by the time I got down, okaasan was eating breakfast. I knew what was coming.

"Kura, that is you, right? What are you wearing? What happened to the school uniform? Don't you have any other clothes to wear?" question after question had flown out of her mouth.

"Okaasan! It's me, I'm wearing this because the uniform you got me wasn't the size I wanted. And I do have other change of clothes, nothing to worry about." I sounded like my old self but I knew it wouldn't end there and also, I wouldn't last.

Please dont question me, anymore.

"Tell me, exactly why you are wearing those clothes. It's your first day, your from the country, you'll get bullied!!" I weakly smiled, at the concern of okaasan.

"I'm wearing this..this, because it makes me feel comfortable. I don't want anymore attention, I don't want any more expectations, I don't want anything more…." I had started, and I haven't finished. Okaasan was very kind, she allowed me to finish my confession.

"I'm just so tired, tired of it all."

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Normal POV

It can be seen that Sakura had openly admitted, she didn't want anything from life anymore, in fear she might lose it again.

As the saying goes, it's better to have love and lost than to never have love.

Sakura can openly argue against that, but it was pointless, she was tired.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

Sakura's POV

I felt okaasan embrace me, it felt warm.

"Do whatever makes you comfortable, I'll support you, all the way."

I nodded. I needed support.

"Now, you better get going, Tomoyo already left. I asked her why she didn't wait for you, she said, you had declined her offer."

"Oh, that's because I needed to go to the office. Being my first day and all, and also the incident with my uniform." I grabbed a piece of toast, and started to get going.

"You better hurry up, you'll be late! GO! GO! GO!" okaasan was rushing me. I was about to choke, on toast, on my first day at school; yup, that's the way to go. (lol)

"Okaasan, it's okay. It's my first day. Remember?" I had said, as I left.

So, as okaasan said, I was late. Very late, seeing that I had to change in the girl's bathroom, after I signed in.

The uniform went well, with the rest of my attire. I looked different.

I then rushed off to my class. As, I got closer I wondered why I had rushed in the first place, I was late already. And now, I'm nervous.

I knocked on the door, a teacher came out, looked me over and said, I was late. Really?

I gave him the note, excusing me. Not one word was uttered from me yet.

Father, Touya, please lend me, your strength.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Syaoran's POV (finally he's in the picture)

I groaned, as the teacher interrupted the class. Can't he just shut-up, so we can actually get some work done?

"Class, we got a new student. Make sure, you make her feel welcome. Now, why don't you come in and introduce yourself." The idiotic teacher had announced.

I looked around the room, at the mention of "new" and "her", got the guys attention. Basically, she was a new piece of meat out on a Sunday's market.

Now, I was curious to be honest, but not hungry. The look on the guys' face was the face of hunger. Then there were the girls, eyeing the door way which is out of sight to all of us inside the classroom. I guess they wanted to check-out the "new rival".

I sighed. As cliché as it sounds, how cliché! This school was too clichéd.

"Kinomoto-san. Please, make an introduction. We're all waiting." The idiotic teacher continued.

I groaned in boredom; great the new chick is a shy one. Guys would stick to her seeing her vulnerability state, then there are the girls attacking her seeing that she can't stand up for herself.

I want to sleep as I looked outside the window.

"Gomennasai, sensei." she had a sweet voice. But they are all like that at first, first impression counts.

Then there was silence. Weird.

The guys weren't hooting, the girls weren't hissing, the idiotic teacher wasn't shouting to keep the class down; trying to impress the new student.

It was quiet, too quiet.

Maybe this is worth the effort of turning my head the other direction.

I was right. This was interesting.

There stood a nerd/loner. With glasses covering her eyes, just reaching her eyebrows; yeah, they were big. Her past the shoulder length hair was done in tight plaits. Her school shoes were squeaky clean, if it was possible. She was….well her uniform was big. Let's just say, she wasn't what the whole class was expecting.

Yes, she was interesting.

Seeing, that this school can only be attended by the rich. And even then, you have to be good-looking or skilled, if not your parents wouldn't dare enrolling you into the school. They wouldn't want to bring shame to the family. This school was a way to show-off your child.

This girl didn't look rich. Skillful, well, maybe smart. Good-looking? I'm not saying she's bad looking, she's just not good looking.

She intrigued me.

"Well, why don't you introduce yourself, Kinomoto-san." the teacher had said, seeing our reaction.

"Thank-you. Well, my name is Sakura Kinomoto. I just recently moved here. I hope we can get along." she said, in her sweet voice. She then smiled, but it just a small one. As if, she was trying to hold it back.

"Very well. You may sit in any of the spare seats you want."

There were quite a few of spare seat; seeing this is a rich school the classroom is big. The first row is empty, only those who were stupid sit there. Stupid, as in, it was an accident. No one sat there. Then there were the random seats everywhere. The ones, that was leftover, seeing that the whole class seats in their own clicks. There was a seat in front of me.

"Hai, arigatougozaimasu." She had said. She was well-mannered, too well mannered. Even the idiotic teacher smiled, seeing that he finally got someone's respect.

She looked around, spotted a few empty seats, I think. No-one can see through those glasses, well except for her, of course. I looked at the seat in front of me, there was a high possibility she'll sit there. Apparently it was THE seat, seeing that the girl, who seats in the front of me, will have my eyes on the back of her head.

AS IF, why in the world, would I be staring at the back of her hair, in the first place? When I have a) the window, b) the clock, c) my work, d) the board, e) the teacher, f) my friends, g) myself, kidding! But 6 things are more than enough. And no, the 7th thing wouldn't be the back of the girl's head, instead I'll go to sleep.

She then smiled, and headed towards a seat. Next to the window, IN THE FRONT ROW.

When she could have sat in front of me? I don't get it.

It isn't like I want her to sit in front of me; I'm more interested in seeing the girls defend THE chair. Sounds funny, doesn't it?

But I guess, it just wasn't going to happen. Although, the girls were also surprised, they were getting ready to "defend" THE chair. Oh, well.

Maybe she's very shy, so she had chosen to sit in the seat in front of THE chair. Hence, THE chair was separating us. That explains it well. I mean if I were to stare at the back of someone's head, then automatically it would be her's. But, that is if I even choose to stare at the back of someone's head. Yup, that explains it well.

She sat down, got out her books and started to copy the notes from the board. Like she had always been part of the class. She totally ignored the whole class's stare, gossip, talk etc on her. Or maybe, she just didn't know.

So, there she was seating by herself in the front corner seat of the classroom, so keen to do her work. She was the perfect image of the perfect student, minus the nerdish/loner look. She would had been the goody-too-shoes. But she also gave out the lonely vibe, the lonely image, the lonely labeled. Hence, I believe, no I know; no-one would try to socialize with her. She was what people would label her as a loner.

But from, my point of view, she only seemed lonely because she was untouchable.

I always try to aim for the approximate length.

please, continue to support, with your reviews.

yours faithfully,

envygurl