A/N: Some of your questions might be answered here, but it will give birth to more questions and so you'll just have to be patient until then ;)

Chapter 3. Anguish

"Sachiko, where are you going?"

Sachiko stopped from her tracks and turned around to see her mother standing, still awake even though she's already in her nightdress under a robe.

"I believe you don't need to ask me that question, Mother. You already know where my destination is."

Ogasawara Sayako's calm expression turned into a worried one. She gazed into the grandfather's clock before looking back at her daughter.

"At this hour?"

"Yes, Mother," Sachiko answered calmly.

"But didn't you just go there this morning? Besides, the weather looks bad tonight. Won't you do it tomorrow instead? I'm sure you're tired from your exams," Sayako said, trying to change her daughter's mind.

Sachiko didn't have to wonder how her mother found out that she went there this morning. Probably her driver reported to her mother all her activities. But she didn't care.

"Yes, Mother. Even if there's a storm tonight, it won't stop me from going."

Sayako's expression turned into a tormented one.

"For how long, Sachiko? How long are you going to do that? You spent everyday of your life going there. How long, Sachiko, just how long before you stop?"

"As long as I am breathing I will not stop, Mother. I will not. Now if you'll excuse me, Mother, I must go now," Sachiko said with conviction, her face set.

Sayako sadly watched her daughter walked away. Sachiko never listened when it came to going to that place. Gentle talked from her or harsh talked from her grandfather, they had no effects.

And ever since that incident last year, Sachiko was never the same again. She had never seen her daughter smile ever since. She had never seen her eyes sparkled again.

All she could see now was a person with no emotion. Yes, because even anger didn't appear in Sachiko's face anymore. She had completely shut her emotions. No happiness, no anger, no loneliness, no emptiness, but rather, nothing. A face that held nothing for anyone to read, not even for her. And no one could get to Sachiko's defenses. No one. Not even her friends.

There's only one person that could bring emotions to Sachiko. But that person was…

Sayako shook her head. She didn't want to think about it anymore.

With heavy heart, she went to a chair and sat there to wait for her daughter to come back, just like she always did when Sachiko suddenly leaves at night.

---o---

Sachiko was staring at the car window but seeing nothing. Her eyes were on another world, another world where she was with the one she loved and will always love for as long as she lives. The person who loved her back and accepted all her imperfections as a person. The person who would do anything and would give everything for her.

And she did.

"I miss you my love," she whispered to herself.

When the car reached her destination, she made her usual walk to the place where she could be with her love. She never stopped visiting her. Everyday, ever since she woke up that day. And if she hadn't come for a few days due to business matters, she would spend a whole day with her, and no one can stop her. They had long given up on trying doing so, because they now understood that they couldn't stop her unless they had her locked in a room or chained in a wall.

Now, why didn't they just do that, she mused as she reached the place.

"Yumi, I'm sorry that I had to come at this hour. I can't sleep again. I've dreamed about you and it got me worried. I hope you're fine…"

She did her usual talks, telling Yumi how her day was, what her dream was about, anything that she knew would interest Yumi. And just like most of the time, she ended up crying, crying at the futility of it all, crying at how much she missed Yumi, of how much she wanted to be with her, of how much she loved her, of how much her heart ached for her, of how much she needed her.

This was where she let go all of her emotions, where she showed her weaknesses. She didn't care if the driver could see her in this state. But he was probably used to it, for he was also a witness of how much his mistress suffered, a witness that pitied her quiet suffering. He was expecting this, and so he always kept his distance, keeping an eye on her, making sure that nothing more happens to her.

Sachiko could hear the thunder and see flashes of lightning at the corner of her eyes, but aside from startling her, it didn't make her leave the place.

When the rain started to fall, she was immediately protected by the driver from the rain using an umbrella, but he told him that it's okay, that she wanted to be alone with Yumi.

And so her tears joined the rain.

"Yumi, do you remember when we went to the park and it suddenly rained? That time, we were both silly to forget our umbrella. And so we walked in the rain, hand in hand, our source of warmth from the raging cold was our hands joined together."

"Yumi, we need to go some place to shelter from the rain," Sachiko said worriedly as little drops of rain started to fall.

"It's alright, Sachiko. I've always wanted to walk hand in hand with you under my umbrella, under the rain or under the sun. But I guess this is alright, too. I wanted to try walking hand in hand with you under the rain," Yumi said as she gazed tenderly at Sachiko.

"Maybe we should also try to find out how it would feel to kiss under the rain, Yumi," Sachiko said mischievously as she put her left hand on Yumi's nape and the right to her hips.

Yumi's eyes gleamed.

"I like that."

And so they shared a tender kiss under the rain, not minding the water soaking their clothes, or the cold that the wind brought.

Sachiko smiled amidst her tears at the memory.

"Do you remember it, my love?"

She cried harder when her question was met by silence. She sank into her knees and reverently touched the name of her love engraved in stone.

She sobbed harder.

For her love would never talk to her again.

She would never hear her voice again.

She could only see her in her dreams.

Fukuzawa Yumi…A dear daughter, sister, and friend. She will always be in the heart of those who loved her.

A/N: With a puff of smoke, I will disappear, never to be seen until the next chapter.

See yah!

--Arvendell--

21 August 2008