Out of the Cage
LJ and Kenros gain another ally, while the Stinkyfly tries to escape the two at night.
While you were Sleeping
8:32 p.m.
"What do we need this Wildmutt for anyway?" asked LJ.
"All Wild--Vulpimancers smell nearly 12 times better than I do…and since the crystal is out of range of the Geiger counter, I don't think it'll help us out anymore." I said.
"How do you know he's in here?"
"I already told you; I got a whiff of their scent a couple hours ago. Besides this one sounds like it's in pain. We might as well go and help him out."
"Wait guys, how do you know he won't go insane and eat us?" asked the Lepidopterran.
"You've got nothing to worry about." said LJ.
"Yeah, Vulpimancers aren't fond of junk food." I joked.
"HEY!!" shouted the Lepidopterran.
All of us slowly walked through the cave, our feet splashing in the puddles of water and crunching on the trails of gravel. LJ shouted a couple of times when he kept hitting his kneecap on a bunch of stalagmites, ripping his pants open and revealing his skinned knee.
"Can we get there before I break my leg?" he asked.
"Shut up, I think I just found him."
The three of us turned a corner and saw what appeared to be a subdued red Vulpimancer in chains, growling softly and panting heavily. Even weirder is that he was wearing greenish-blue pants and looked like he had been tortured.
"Huh…last I remembered, Wildmutts were a lot more…"
"Vicious." added LJ.
The Vulpimancer made several light growls towards me.
"Ugh! Every heard of a breath mint Wildmutt?" asked LJ.
The Vulpimancer growled menacingly at LJ, ready to rip his head off.
"Damnit, why do I always run into some slimy, disgusting alien with bad breath? Why?!"
"I'm not slimy or disgusting! I'm hairy!" I protested.
"So? I've met five different aliens in the past couple of days and the only one whose breath didn't reek of dog crap or slime or feet or fish or any other disgusting smell was Doxen. Is it a tradition not to brush your teeth in the morning or something?"
"Yeah."
"Pretty much." said the Lepidopterran.
LJ sighed. "Why can't I just run into…like a gigantic fruity pebble? I could eat its head for breakfast."
The Vulpimancer interrupted us with his roar and struggled to get out the chains.
"Oh, right…the Wildmutt." said LJ.
He shot at the chains several times, hoping they would shatter and the Vulpimancer would break it off. But nothing happened.
"Y'know you humans should try biting things more often. It helps penetrate tough armor like this." I said.
I went over to the chains and bite down hard on them, up until it shocked my mouth and burned my mouth.
"OWWW!! What the hell was that?!"
The Vulpimancer growled at me.
"Yeah, that figures; they'd put shock collars on dogs."
"You actually understood that?" asked LJ.
"Canines are canines, no matter what we look like or how we talk. Of course I understand him."
"Maybe I can help him. Stand back for a second."
The Lepidopterran inhaled sharply a spat at the chains and we watched as the acids slowly corroded the metal and broke off the Vulpimancer's ankles and arms. The Vulpimancer growled at us again.
"He says his name's Hraggs and that some Stinkfly captain named Acknit isn't far from here."
"Um…is he gonna eat us? He's lookin' at me like I'm a chewtoy." said LJ.
"He's got no eyes! How can you tell?"
Hraggs growled several times again.
"No, he's not gonna eat you LJ, mostly because he thinks he'll choke on that porcupine on your head."
LJ brushed his hand across his spiky hairdo and Hraggs and I laughed.
"What is it with you guys and my hair lookin' like a porcupine?"
9:24 p.m.
"So what are we supposed to do now?" asked LJ.
Hraggs started growling.
"Yeah, we're gonna have to wait until tomorrow in the morning when the Wildmutts attack."
"…What?"
"Hraggs knows the attack pattern and the best ways to flank 'em before they put their full plan into play. If we attack now and so much as one of the Vulpimancer's wakes up, we're gonna get torn to shreds."
"So what do we do until then?" asked the Lepidopterran.
I shrugged. "I dunno. Wake me up later when you get an idea."
12:37 a.m.
Hraggs and Kenros were sleeping on the ground next to a campfire, snoring like crazy. The only reason why LJ didn't succumb to fatigue was because he still didn't trust the Stinkfly and couldn't stand the canines' snoring. It was actually kinda funny watching them sleep; Hraggs kept making light roars and was twitching like crazy and Kenros was sleeping with his mouth wide open and tons of saliva rolling down his face.
"So I'm guessing you're not tired?" asked the Stinkfly.
"Nope. I'm just gonna sit here all night looking at you."
"There's no reason to doubt my loyalty LJ."
"There was no reason for Acknit to doubt your loyalty either; look what happened now. Besides, you should already know by now that you're only collateral damage and we're just using you as a hostage."
"Where am I gonna go? It's too dark for me to fly and if it starts to rain out of nowhere I'm screwed again."
"Shut up. You're just trying to…"
LJ began to drift off and his head slowly fell downward, as though he were sleeping while he sat on the log. The Lepidopterran was about to move, but at the last second LJ yelped and woke back up again shaking his head.
"What?" asked LJ.
"You really need to get some sleep LJ."
"Shut up! I don't need no stinkin' slee--"
LJ's body abruptly lurched over and he fell face down into the dirt. The Lepidopterran waited a few minutes, trying to see if he was really asleep or if he was going to get back up again real soon. But when he started to hear the snoring, he knew that all three of them were completely unconscious. The Lepidopterran slowly walked over to LJ's body and took the M4 from under him and the pistols from his pockets. Then he walked over to Kenros and tried doing the same maneuver, only to get spit on his face when Kenros coughed up most of the saliva from his mouth.
"Nice."
The Stinkfly stuck his hand inside Kenros' pocket and carefully took his gun too. Then he tip-toed his way into the forest, getting far away before he took flight into the night sky.
3:45 a.m.
Rain. That was the first thing I remembered when I woke up about an hour ago. My mouth was left hanging open and I woke choking on water, violently coughing it all up. Then I kicked LJ in the stomach and told him to wake up, chastising him for not being able to watch the Lepidopterran.
"It's not my fault he stole my gun!"
"That's not the point! You can't even keep an eye on so much as an oversized fly without screwing it up LJ!"
"I'm sorry; I was tired. It's not like either of you did any better. At least I didn't have drool dribbling down my face!"
Hraggs roared out loud and starting in the left direction. I started sniffing the air and got a whiff of that Lepidopterran too.
"He's over there!" I yelled.
Two gunshots flashed in the air and we heard loud panicky panting in the distance. Damn…if we had our guns now this would be so much easier.
"Look at it this way: It's raining so hard he can barely jump in the air."
"Shut up LJ."
The Lepidopterran tripped in a shallow river, skinning his legs on underground rocks. Hraggs stopped running and I heard what sounded like a small whine.
"What?" I asked.
Hraggs nervously growled at me.
"THERE'S A GIANT ALLIGATOR IN THE RIVER?!!!"
Suddenly, a humongous blue alligator appeared from the river, ensnaring the smelly fly in its large jaws. The Lepidopterran screamed loudly for a couple of seconds and suddenly the sounds of squishing and crunching was heard several times. Then it dropped down into the water, disappearing without a trace.
"Wow that was random." said LJ.
"Yeah, random." I said.
"Really, really, random."
"Yeah…I'm surprised I didn't catch whiff of it before Hraggs."
Hraggs growled at me and snickered a little.
"I can smell better than you! It has nothing to do with me being old!"
"So…are we still on with the plan or do we have yet another one?"
Hraggs started growling and grunting a little bit.
"If you say so. Hraggs thinks we should go attack the base now. Hopefully the rain will cover our scents. What do you think LJ?"
"Like I'm really gonna listen do an eyeless alien dog!"
LJ growled gutturally in LJ's face and he gulped loudly.
"So which way's that base again?"